What should I do, my heart is broken?

[Cass510]

My boyfriend of 4 years and i broke up last night before the biggest test of my life. I am currently in the radiology program 2 weeks from finishing. We have had issues with me being jealous and immature but I never cheated or been disrespectful. Anyways, he would get frusrtated that we would argue and have some drama and would always want to leave, he would say" things aren't going to work" or "im done, i want to move on" and I would beg him back everytime. I would beg and tell him i will change and im sorry. each time he would take space and eventually come around and we would move on. But anytime we had a big fight he would always try to break up and i would beg and he would give in. This dynamic created a "i have all the power in the relationship so listen to me " we had great times too but those never seemed to be enough for him to move on from the past. recently we bickered about normal stuff and he got mad and said he's done and we can't fix it this time and he's checked out and wants to move on but still wanted to talk until i finished the program. I told him off and said you wanan leave go, im done. he said nothing. thoughts? im calling his bluff

Updates

+1 y

Also wanted to mention was he said it was ok that we can keep talking until im done with the program so i did for a day or two and we talked on the phone for hours like nothing changed. thats when i asked will we ever work things out and he was very non chalant saying no i can't im done im checked out.

[Finchie40]

I’m sorry to say but the problem in this relationship is you. The only reason I say that is because you are chasing after someone , that is clearly manipulating you and controlling you He doesn’t give 2 shits about your feelings I’m sorry to say , but when things don’t go his way , he is threatening to leave you etc. That is manipulation you are clearly being manipulated to feel that you are in the wrong , and that he is always right Do yourself a favor girl, dump his ass and realize you deserve better than this shit. When someone actually loves you , they stand by you no matter what and support you , they don’t threaten you and make you feel like you have to measure up to their standards to be accepted. He is clearly taking you for granted and treating you like a convenience , you aren’t his priority , he is probably screwing around on you behind your back , whether he is or not , he doesn’t respect you or value you because you aren’t his priority , If you were his priority , he wouldn’t be threatening to leave you. Never chase after someone to love you. Find someone that chooses you the same way you choose them, you will never be happy staying in a relationship like this , because your relationship is sadly one sided , His way or no way , Dump his ass and find yourself someone that values you like you value them , that wears your shoes the same way you wear theirs , don’t waste anymore time on someone that treats you like a convenience. He doesn’t love you he only likes the convenience of you. He is projecting his flaws and insecurities into you like you are the bad guy and he is the good guy , don’t fall for
That shit what so ever , he is playing you big time

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that really sucks. Breakups are the worst, especially right before a big test. I can't imagine how stressed you must be feeling.

It sounds like there was some unhealthy power dynamic stuff going on in your relationship. Him constantly threatening to break up whenever you fought was super unfair and not cool. No one deserves to be strung along like that.

As for calling his bluff, I don't know... maybe in this case he really is done. It seems the trust was broken down over time from that dynamic you described. Still, after 4 years that's gotta be so hard.

My advice would be try and stay distracted as best you can studying for your test. Don't give him the power to mess with your focus right now. Then after take some time to properly grieve and heal. Let all the emotions out, whether it's tears, boxing, music - whatever helps you process. Lean on your friends too.

It'll suck so bad at first but you'll get through it. This could even end up being a blessing in disguise, you never know what the future holds. Just take it one day at a time. And good luck on your test - I know you'll crush it!

[IslaTheWitch]

The relationship is created by two people. So the responsibility for its well being is equally spread on both partners.

He voiced that he wanted to finish it, he even got his space but eventually returned. It created the false assumption he wants to stay. You made your own assumptions based on that.

The best you can do is accept the facts, gather what went wrong on your side and make sure you won't make the same mistakes again.

Heal, recover, move on. There is no reason to stay in place and dwell into past.

[rosemilk]

you both need to allow yourselves to move on. this is a toxic situation. i don't see how him still talking to you when he wants to move on just because you have a test to take will help. you still know what's going to happen once the testing is over. I don't know i just feel like you need to rip the Band-Aid off now, obsess over studying with the test, and then deal with your feelings later

[exitseven]

okay- you need to shake this off and concentrate on passing your exams. Don't let this derail the rest of your life. You have invested a lot of time and effort into this.
I can't tell you how to do this but you can figure it out.
I was in grad school and the company I was working for was about to go out of business and I would soon be unemployed. I was trying to get into the IT field and was getting a MS in Computer science. I was struggling with the program as it is. I was just getting ready to take my mid term exams. Suddenly out of nowhere my father died. Things were really bad then suddenly they got really bad. I didn't think i was going to be able to do it. I had a wife and 3 kids to support and i had to finish the program so I could hopefully get a good paying job afterwards.
I channelled my father. I could hesr him telling me to stop being a pussy and get busy and study and pass the damn tests.
I somehow was able to pass everything and I did end up graduating.
You can do the same.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Ugh you sound exhausting.

The relationship is toxic. Move on. By your own admission you were jealous and immature. You brought drama with you and this is how that plays out. Take that life lesson into your next relationship.

Good luck on your exams. I'm sorry he dumped you the day before. I'd have waited til you were done, but it is what it is.

[JacobJordan]

you have a hell of a lot of work to do. you have destroyed your own relationship because you refuse to change despite knowing you should. and honestly good on him for leaving. he deserves better and deep down you know it. if you put in the work to actually change maybe things will be different but you need to actually put in the effort you need to want it. there is a reason jealousy is spelled with lousy

[Daniela1982]

So move on. Stop trying to hold on to a burning ember. You two played the game of love and lost.

[bowenw]

I honestly think it's a red flag if someone's instinct is to leave when things don't go their way. If I were in your shoes I would end it now and let him behave this way with someone else.

[DextroShade]

Learn from your mistakes: next time make an effort to submit to your man and to not be petty, jealous, and annoying. Also, practice saying these words: "I'm sorry, I was wrong." Most women can't or won't say them to a man.

[mohannad5]

There is a saying, if you love something so much, leave it openly, and if it comes back, it is yours. If he doesn't come back, he was never yours to begin with

[boobliker]

The least said quicker mended so say nothing to anyone not even your best then he may come back

[HouseMoat]

When we're bored, or we're no longer in love with someone, we tend to create needless drama

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who asked you out and hit on you

[ThrillSeeker01]

If he doesn't care then he's not worth it.

[driven159]

time to grow up and move on toxic

[Cheerfull009]

Apply Supper Glo, repair your Broken Heart

[Anonymous]

Hang in their, things will get better. :)

[FenixG45]

Move on! NEXT!