My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. I care a lot about him and there's so much good in our relationship. But for the past several months I've just felt him slowly but surely feel more apathetic. Sometimes it feels like im carrying entire conversations on my back. And doing little things just to illicit a response or closeness from him that I've been craving. I feel alone and unwanted. But it's complicated because he doesn't explicitly do anything to make me feel that way, nor is he doing anything outwardly hurtful... he's just... distant. And there are moments when I do feel the closeness, and it makes me feel hopeful.
Its hard for me to feel like someone I care so much about is slipping away. Or that he isn't choosing me and working for us. We've had conversations about it and there's always some good takeaways, but I'm not sure what the future of our relationship is at this point and I'm preparing for the worst.
So I'm curious how others have dealt with this feeling? Of loving someone who is slowly inching away, and trying to come to terms with the outcome?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Ugh, the end of a relationship when you know they’re losing interest can be soooo painful. It’s not even that you don’t love each other, you’ve just grown apart. Since you’ve had multiple conversations, it’s not like he doesn’t know. He knows there’s a disconnect, sees you practically begging for his love with all your attempts to reconnect, and still is basically letting it happen. With that in mind, how could I tell you to keep fighting, keep trying, stay hopeful, be patient? None of these work because you’ve already done all this. I just think you need some time apart at this point. Maybe he will miss you and want to reconcile, or he’ll realize he’s really over the relationship altogether. You may have your own awakening as well. However this shouldn’t continue. Love aside, it’s emotionally taxing and what you don’t want is for him to think you’re desperate for hanging on despite his behavior.
Ehat are these good take aways if nothing is improving
Good question. Sometimes it will be something like me suggesting he call me more (we live two hours apart so we don't see each other for days at a time). He will start calling me more so I feel like we're on the right path. But then in so many other ways he still feels distant. It's hard to explain.
So speak about other things and how u feel and what your worried about
You need to talk to him to find out why.