Does this count as cheating?

[Anonymous]

My son's father and I ended our relationship over two years ago. We were never married but lived together. He ended our relationship, and for financial reasons and for the well-being of our 8-year-old son, I asked him to stay in the house. He agreed but moved to another room. He told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and that we wouldn't get back together. I didn't take it seriously, but we drifted apart completely. Nothing happened between us since then, but I must admit I was certain he would come back to me. I was waiting for him to take the initiative, but he never did, and so much time passed. A couple of months ago, he informed me he was moving out, and after a few weeks, he left the house. I suspected it was because of another woman, and yesterday he confirmed it. I feel very betrayed, and I'm not sure if it's okay to feel this way. I feel like he had no right to leave out of nowhere and especially for someone else, when it was obvious I still had feelings for him, and that's why I distanced myself from him since the break up. He says I never told him how I felt and that I just ignored him, so he couldn't assume I still felt something, but it was obvious. Why do I feel this way? Am I overreacting? Is he in the wrong?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, I totally get why you're feeling hurt sis. That situation is super messy and it sucks he's been seeing someone else this whole time. A couple thoughts though:

Even if you hoped you'd get back together deep down, he made it clear two years ago the relationship was over. Living under the same roof out of necessity isn't the same as being together.

As painful as it is, he has every right to move on emotionally after so much time passed without any sign from you that you wanted to reconcile. He can't read your mind.

That said, I don't blame you for feeling betrayed either. The least he could've done is let you know before moving the other woman in so suddenly. That was hella disrespectful timing on his part.

At this point though, dwelling on "cheating" or wrongs won't change anything. All you can do is focus on you and your son. Let this be the push you need to fully heal and close that chapter. You deserve to be with someone who enthusiastically chooses you too.

Stay strong - this too shall pass. In time I know you'll both find happiness, even if it's not together anymore. Lean on your girls - we've got your back!

[spartan55]

So, let me get this straight. You distanced yourself from him after breaking up and that 'obviously' means, you still have feelings for him? You are out of your mind. So you did NOTHING arrogantly believing he would come crawling back. Not surprisingly he moved on and now you are pissed he didn't come back. You did NOTHING and are expecting everything. As you found out, it doesn't work that way.

[petitedollbabee]

You’re the one that’s in the wrong. He made himself clear from the start. He told you that you wouldn’t be getting back together. You’ve been separated for 2 years. Yet you remained delusional, believing that you would somehow get back together with him. It’s not his fault that you didn’t take his words seriously. He hasn’t cheated on you or betrayed you. You’ve only fooled yourself, don’t play the victim here.

[nessiee01]

I am sorry to break it to you, it’s truly not cheating what he did. Did you felt betrayed? It’s normal to feel a sense of betrayal because you still had hopes you and him would be back together again. .

[molonski2]

No , he is spot on , and it's certainly not cheating as you were no longer together , of course he was going to find another.

[dudeinohio]

Your relationship was terminated. Not cheating

[laly520]

not cheating