Do you think my husband is playing mind games with me?

Question

Me and husband has two kids together. The reason we are separated is because he is emotionally abusive and a cheater. Right now me and the kids are living with my parents and he recently told me that he likes another woman. I broke down and I told him that I want a divorce. He says,"we are not getting a divorce, you are going to be stuck with me until I die." He also asked me for sex. My sister confronted him and he denied everything about the other woman. He said that it was just conversation and not a relationship or sex. The next day he pops out of the blue without telling me he was coming. I told him that I didn't want to be near him and to go back to his woman. He looked me in my face like he didn't know what I was talking about and he was soo happy to see me. I let him spend time with the kids and later on that day he asked for sex. I said no, go back to the woman you are talking to. He got upset and he told me that he has to like someone because im not giving him sex." So I asked him if he like the woman and he said yes. We got into an agrument, I broke down and cried, and he stormed off and left. I get a call at night from my husband... and he told me got pulled over by the cops, he nervous... because now he can be in some serious trouble... But I was there to comfort him and if he needed me to help with anything I will be there. (ME BEING A BIG HEARTED PERSON and STUPID).

DannyUk2017 · Accepted Answer

He is TOXIC, that i can say for sure, and as i read on other comments, makes sense... You said you`re both Muslim, well i had seen in UK a few things that annoys me the greatest... One, i had seen a pregnant muslim woman with her husband, and she was barely could have keeped up with him as he was in front on the "phone", then he crossed the street, and she waited until lights turned green so she could cross too. Another thing, we the "white men" dream about having a muslim girlfriend/wife but we cannot because We Are Haram (in their eyes we are evil), so they are "brainwashed" in to just Marry and Be with whom Mom & Dad tells them to be. Another thing Muslim Men are aalowed to smoke, drink become "western men" but the females can`t. Another thing Muslim Men can get married and shagg and build a family with European Women, but "white men" with Muslim females is impossible... So yeah, not i understand what actually you going through.. Because once they "pump" 1,2,3,4,5 kids in to the woman "they know" her life is just in the Kitchen and around the children, they know that she cannot get "fooling around" because the "muslim man" can come home and give her Hell, if she didn`t cook, clean, or fed the kids... :(

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Okay sis, this whole thing sounds super sketchy to me. Something ain't right with how your husband is acting.

First of all, saying you're "stuck with him until he dies" and pressuring you for sex after everything is a huge red flag. No means no, he gotta respect that.

Then denying he's into that other girl when your sister confronted him, but turning around and admitting it to you? Major mind games. And just showing up out of nowhere like nothing's wrong? Weird.

I also don't trust that story about getting pulled over. Seems convenient he suddenly calls you all nervous right after yelling. Feels manipulative.

Listen, this guy clearly isn't over you yet and will do or say anything to try and still control you. But you said it yourself - he's emotionally abusive and a cheater. You don't deserve that crap, sis!

Don't fall for his mind games. Stay strong with the divorce - you'll be so much happier without his drama weighing you down. Focus on you and those kids. Hopefully soon he'll get the message and leave you be. But don't trust a word that comes out of his mouth from now on!

bobalife · Accepted Answer

No, I’m sorry, he’s a selfish douche and manipulative.. please save yourself and your kids the heartache by moving forward with the divorced.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You have an absolutely terrible husband, I am so sorry to say it.

Finchie40 · Answer

Your husband sounds like he is a narcissist by using manipulative behavior towards you , you are best to divorce his psycho ass

lightbulb27 · Answer

You sound like a really good person, and he is really screwed up.

I agree with @Finchie40 , it would fit the pattern of attraction. But he could just be nuts, maybe he has a brain tumor and forgets things.

Id lookup the terms "empath" and "caregiver personality" for yourself and see if that's you. I'd look up narcissist and see if you see patterns of that in him.

Either way, you are in a tough spot, if he works his way back, he probably does the same abuse or worse. You best get a therapist to help guide you and good friends. Be glad you have family support.

Sometimes, it is wise to divorce, but Id wonder about if he is physically dangerous. Noone here knows what his mental issue is, but he has one.

BadApple69 · Answer

Don't be stupid. Yes he is playing mind games and honestly, I think you should get a restraining order against him. He may not be physically abusive... Yet. But he is definitely mentally abusive. When mental abuse doesn't work he possibly will escalate to physical abuse. Don't let it go that far. I suggest you check near you for a battered woman’s organization and get help.
Maybe you think it's not to that point yet but you don't want to let it escalate.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

How do you guys get into these marriages in the first place? I hope that is not such a rude question.

JacobJordan · Answer

Your husband isn't playing mind games with you. He is straight up abusing you

spartan55 · Answer

God, you are still falling for his bullshit. Get rid of him, he is a turd.

peedy · Answer

Men dont dont pay mind games thst is a female trait, you are imposing what you would do onto him but mens minds don't work lije womens, its not mutually beneficial to plsy such games

JayBones2469 · Answer

He sounds dangerously toxic and I don't use that phrase ever. Get a restraining order against him and when he violates it call the cops and get full custody of those kids.

laly520 · Answer

u shouldn't have married him in first place he is horrible

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I am willing to be his story would be very different.

slatyb · Answer

File for divorce.

Peridot25 · Answer

He’s a piece of shit.

OddBeMe · Answer

Little late to find that out.

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆

Do you think my husband is playing mind games with me?

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