I posted this question and it got deleted because of the picture.
My girlfriend Donna had an abortion because we had an accidental pregnancy. I was fully supportive due to the fact that neither of us had kids or wanted kids. We agreed no kids=freedom and money.
Recently, it seems like me and Donna are not the same page. She doesn’t want children of her own but wants to play mom to other peoples children, and constantly pushing other peoples children in my face. Trying make to play dad to other people’s kids.
Donna wants me to inconvenience my life for her friend Lacey’s kids. Her friend Lacy has this nightmare child who out of control. Lacy’s daughter breaks stuff, screams nonstop, and not potty trained at the age of 4. This kid is the biggest handful. Yet Donna is always volunteering to babysit this kid whenever we have it planned to spend the day together, and constantly pushing Lacey’s kid in my face. The other day we had an argument because I didn’t want the kid sleeping in our bed. The kid ended staying in our room and ripped one of my sweaters and damaged my Xbox controller 🎮.
I planned a couples road trip for us to drive from Toronto to New York and Donna was gonna bring Lacey’s kid, so I cancelled. I figured there’d be no point in spending this kind of money and time on a trip just to deal with a screaming child. Earlier today Donna had the kid over and she damaged the carpet with glue. Gonna cost lots of money to repair.
I told Donna I’m not dealing with this bullshit anymore. Her response is “if you loved me you’d take care of her”.
Donna talks about adopting Lacey’s daughter, even wants to leave Laceys kids in her will. I don't know if this is grounds for a breakup!
Yes
No
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Is it grounds for a breakup if she aborts your baby?
This situation is insane: she aborts YOUR kid but expects you to look after someone else's? This woman is completely deranged and should be gotten rid of immediately. Ironically enough you dodged a bullet when she got an abortion, imagine being bound to this psych bitch for life!
You shouldn't need other people to tell you that it is okay to end the relationship. You obviously are not happy and it doesn't matter what others think. And, actually. . . as I was reading this, I wondered if your girlfriend is actually trying to push you away.
I voted yes for my own personal standards. But the truth is you have to decide for yourself what is or is not grounds for a break up. The bigger truth is You have to decide for yourself EVERYTHING that matters to you in a relationship. The things that matter to me (or not) will not be the same for you. We each have to figure that out for ourselves.
The big thing, is that you should be on the same page with the person you intend to spend your time with. Once you know what your standards even are, the only way anyone else can know them is if you tell them. and vice versa. You need to have a conversation with Donna. And you need to be ready for that conversation to end with you two broken up. Because it sounds like your core values are terribly misaligned.
Don't be afraid to tell her what your principles are. If you don't want to be taking care of some assholes kids then that's perfectly alright. You have the right to set that boundary for yourself. and you have the right to enforce that boundary on everyone around you. Your body your choice and all that jazz. But, by the same token if she insists that taking care of other people's kids like they are her own and doesn't even want any of her own real kids, and that's important to her then she has that right too.
Just know that, that means you two are not compatible if neither of you are willing to compromise on this issue. You can of course choose to stay together anyway. Just also know that means you will both resent the other somewhere down the line for this very reason. Good Luck to you
Aborts my baby without my permission? Are you for real? 🤣
1st of all, i'll only have sex with my future wife which means she can never abort without me agreeing to it and let's say she did it without asking me, be sure that there will stuff a lot more than just breaking up with her!
I'm always under the law but if you push me too much, i can easily break the laws because our laws aren't perfect but we still have to respect them until you feel oppressed and the law won't be there for you at all!
It seems adopting a badly behaved child is the major issue. So I'm voting YES if she insists on inflicting it on you. If it does get to the point of her adopting the child don't co sign or you might be paying child support for it. Worth consulting a lawyer to keep yourself in the clear.
You need to raise your own kids not someone else's. Donna clearly has the mothering desire even if part of her wants to agree with you to live for yourself alone.
Which frankly is a very selfish position to freeload on life rather than contribute to the next generation as the last had for you. So I don't have any empathy for you.
Your taking advantage of life that however does not make you responsible for someone else's responsibilities.
Personally I would not want to deal with other peoples kids who are not my own, its one thing to pay for my own kids but I would not want to deal with someone else's dumb kids. So if she didn't even want your kid but wants her friends kids yeah I would break up.
I don't think your question quite matches the story , with regard to the abortion you both agreed , I think the other stuff Donna is doing is grounds BUT , seriously big but , she will never actually recover from what she just did , and I think thats why these other actions are manifesting themselves , to compensate for what happened.
She has ripped her own child out of her body and you participated , so I'd talk it though and understand this reasoning.
Technically anything can be “grounds for breakup”. there's no relationship court. Though I’d watch that show.
But there is a logic gap there. Women should have control over their bodies. But if they keep the baby men should have a legal abortion that expnerates them completely.
Anything is grounds for a breakup if it means the relationship is no longer something you want to participate it. But I seem to note there is a bit of difference between the question title and the story given in the description?
Your decision about breaking up with her... but make no mistake... her body and the baby hers to have or not have... Her body, her choices...
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Anonymous
(36-45)
18 d
I am against abortion and think the child is your karma for agreeing to the abortion. Don’t want kids then go and get snipped or don’t have sex at all.
@msc545 Your response doesn't really make sense since the majority of women are fine with, or in the support of, abortions. The image she showed was telling men "since you're the ones who don't like abortions, you can change your bodies so they don't have to happen".
What you are implying is that a woman should have to go through surgery because the man doesn't like abortions 💀 It doesn't really make sense
After I explained why your statement was foundationally flawed, that's all you have to say? Talk about a let down, damn. I was hoping for some intelligent back and forth over here
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