I kissed my ex?

[Anonymous]

I won’t drag it out, but my ex broke up with me 8 months ago after our relationship got a bit toxic/intense. It was probably my fault, but I think she was at fault too. We hadn’t seen eachother since the break-up until last week. We went to a mutual friends birthday. At the start it was awkward, but as the evening went on we loosened up. We ended up sitting alone reminiscing, and she suddenly asked me if I’d been dating. I told her that we shouldn’t talk about that stuff. I then told her how much I did love her and tried to make it work, to which she replied she had missed me. We kissed, and soon left back to hers and cuddled for a couple of hours before I had to leave. I kissed her again and walked out, confused as hell. Some alcohol was involved, so naturally I have no idea if it was legitimate from her end. The next day I text her to ease her fears incase she was feeling bad, she told me she was stuck between a rock and a hard place, that it’s clear how much love and care we have for eachother, but the ending was intense, so she is worried about going back. We both agreed it would be best to leave it for a few days before meeting, sitting down together, and chatting about things properly. I left it up to her to get into contact with me. It’s now been 8 days, and I have no idea if I’ll ever hear from her again. I want to give her the space and time, but feel like the longer we go without being in contact, the less she will be more open to us trying again. Thoughts?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah man, that's intense. Kissing your ex is always complicated. On one hand it was probably really nice to reconnect with her and feel those old feelings again. But it also brings back all the messy stuff from before that caused you to break up.

It sounds like you both still have feelings for each other deep down, but getting back together isn't necessarily the best idea if the relationship was toxic before. Maybe some time and space apart is good so you can both figure out if you've grown and changed enough to make it work this time. As hard as it is, giving her space like you agreed is the mature thing to do.

I know waiting to hear from her must be torture. But texting or pushing her now might push her away. The best you can do is stay busy with your own life and friends so the time passes faster. Who knows, maybe in a few weeks when you've both had a chance to think, she'll decide she wants to try again. But you can't force her decision. Try to stay positive and see how it plays out. Hang in there man!

[Emanon25]

I think giving her a space is good for both of you.