My current boyfriend's ex girlfriend sent me a rude message?

[louiseee]

They used to live together and they were pretty serious, and I trust that he didn't do anything. He says she is making everything up and that's just how she is. Before this she also would bombard him with texts and drunk calls. Is her being this immature going to make him dislike her more and see what a nasty person she really is? If I handle it correctly will it make him more attracted to me? What do I do?

Her message:

"Just wanted to let you know who your "boyfriend" is sleeping with every time he's in Ohio, you honestly think we're not together for homecoming this weekend? Or every time we can when he is in Ohio? Haha:) maybe he hasn't told you enough about me. If you think by giving Joe an ultimatum for hanging out with you that it's changed anything, you're dumber than you look. He calls me everyday, tells me he loves me & misses me all the time. While we're not together because of the distance -- have fun I don't care, but don't think that Joe's going to love you, because every time he's with you he's wishing it was me. He loves me, always has. We talk about getting married all the time & as soon as I am done with school I am moving down, looking forward to meeting you! So have fun being the in-between girl, but you're only going to get your poor little heart broken. :)"

Updates

+1 y

She sent the message on Facebook, not a text.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Don't trust him. You already don't. You used to, and he cheated on you. Twice. Now you have an ex contacting you and telling you straight up that it's still going on. So now you trust him less. This is why giving cheaters a second chance is always a stupid f***ing idea. They cheat again. Every time I gave a cheater a second chance it ended badly. So I stopped giving them second chances. My friends have tried giving cheaters second chances, and they got cheated on again. People on this site have often said that when they give their cheaters a second chance... you guessed it. (Frank Stallone) They cheated again.

Simply put, cheaters DO NOT change. They cheat. They cheat. And... they cheat. If they cheat once, they have broken all trust you have given them, and trust never fully returns. Look at you now. You don't trust him, and every time he leaves I bet it kills you inside. You're left wondering, "Will it happen again?". You've been left paranoid, and possibly a little jealous, and that is NO PLACE to be in a relationship.

Sure he's sorry, sure he feels bad. Still, he can live with it. He's not sorry enough. I find that if you ever give a cheater a second chance, they're relieved. I mean put them through hell, sure, they'll take it. But that's a penance they themselves have prepared for in their own mind. Once it's over, they move on, they do it again, because the fact that you ever forgave them tells a small part of their brain "It's okay.", it tells them "I can still get away with this." and so they do it again. Just like I firmly believe he's doing to you now.

Honestly I would dump him. Now. ASAP. You can keep him as a friend, MAYBE, but not if you think you're just gonna take him back. If you think that, then I'd recommend dumping him, cutting off all ties, and blocking all communication and do it now. Maybe give him a solid break up speech, and maybe a dear john letter. But be sure to end the relationship and get some kind of closure on it. Leave him and don't get back together with him. You know why. I already said. (Previous paragraph) You can't trust him. You have no reason to trust him anymore. His actions indeed do speak louder than his words, no matter how sorrowful they SEEM to be.

Now, this is my opinion. This is my advice. This is how I always react to "He cheated on me. Should I dump him?" because the answer is ALWAYS, undeniably so "Yes! Leave and don't come back. Don't even look back." and the reason I hate answering these questions, is because they never listen. Their immediate response is always "I can't do that..." and why? "Because I love him!" or because he says he's SO sorry. Like nobody would ever lie. Pfft. Even children know that trick. Start crying, make the puppy eyes, talk about how sad, lonely, and sorry you are, and hope that they have mercy

Sure his ex is a undeniably a psycho, but your boyfriend is also untrustworthy. I think they deserve each other, and you? You deserve better.

And believe me, you'll find it.

[SixFootSexy]

Your boyfriend sounds like a huge player. He's got her hook, line and sinker. Regardless of whether he wants to or not, he could totally have her back in a heartbeat. Don't screw up, but if you do and get dumped for it, remember that your boyfriend is an "alpha male" and will do the same thing to the girl after you. Those types have the roughest time staying monogamous. Don't worry about her, worry about yourself.

[afrohombre1]

I'm trying to figure how you came to the conclusion that her boyfriend sounds like a huge player, care to elaborate?

[louiseee]

Yea.. uhm, how exactly does this make him a player? Ha. Yea he has her, but he doesn't freaking want anything to do with her.

[afrohombre1]

He has who, you mean the ex? If the ex is in a state of mind to text her, then she's in a state of mind to lie to her, I would take what she said with a grain of salt.

[SixFootSexy]

I'm just saying, if he holds that much sway over her even after breaking up, he's either a big player with high dating market value... *or* he dated a psycho. Could very well be a combination of the two.

[louiseee]

Pretty sure he dated a psycho.. since she insulted me and was rude, bitter, and sarcastic when she has no idea who I am and has never met me.

[FitGalinNYC]

First of all, your boyfriends is probably in some way keeping her hopes up. Either because he wants to make you jealous or or because he likes the attention. Either way, it's not a comfortable position for you to be in. How does she have your number? Did he give it to her? Why don't you ask your boyfriend to call her in front of you. Tell him that you trust him but she is trying to cause problems between you two. good luck

[louiseee]

She sent me a message on Facebook. Not text. And I will ask him to do that, thank you.

[probabilist]

good point with the keeping her hopes up thing.

[hakuna_matata]

why don't you have your boyfriend talk to her in front of you and make her explain tht she shd stop harassing you both and tht he is not interested in her. if he does that well and good...u shd ignore any further nonsense from her. but if he denies to do it then something is indeed fishy.

[probabilist]

hmm very good, a phone call would do the trick.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your boyfriend about this. There should be some truth to the message from the ex. Wow, this is crazy drama. I wouldn't be able to just ignore these messages.

[probabilist]

yikes, drama. Did you give him an ultimatum? If you did, then its obvious they at least still talk about you. Honestly she sounds like a crazy and I wouldn't trust her, but trusting him seems unwise as well. At the same time, if he really was with her - why go through all this trouble of Facebooking you these things? Trust your boy over her, but be cautious.. best of luck.

[Greenjarhead]

First how does she have your number?

She's sounds obsessed and would only feel the need to tell because she's threatened by you. Going to Ohio tho, sounds fishy

[louiseee]

His family lives in Ohio, he lives in Texas now for work, goes home to visit family.

[Hades]

Sounds like she wants to compete with you for the guy.

[Hades]

Your boyfriend must really be in demand. One of the top ~15% of males!

[louiseee]

I don't want to compete with her, ha. He is mine now.

[probabilist]

I think hades is right on.