Meeting my ex for the last time tomorrow :(

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend broke up with 5 days ago over the phone. I'm meeting him for the last time tomorrow. How should I act? What should I do?

I am still hoping that he will shane his mind, because he was unsure of his feelings when we broke up. But I think he just wants to explain things to me, so that I can get closure and convince me to stay friends.

I'm in extreme pain right now :(

[Dobie_Gillis]

My advice is not to plan to act a certain way. You are hurting, and nothing you do is going to stop that from showing when you see him. Likewise, it's hard to know exactly what to do because you don't know how he's going to act. If the two of you have agreed to see each other, go meet with him and get it over with. It will help give you some sense of closure, though probably not right away. I also suggest that if you two agree to stay together, give it a few days or even a couple of weeks before you fall back into each others' arms. I've had quite a few yo-yo breakups that were doomed to never last but were continued only because one of us felt too guilty towards the other, but really didn't want it to go on.

Good luck, and I wish you a speedy recovery from your pain.

[martyfellow]

Try to just listen tohim and not tell him you are hurting. He might keep seeing you just out of guilt if you get emotional. If it's really over, it's best not to prolong the pain, right?

Listen as objectively as you can and see if he's willing to try again after some interval of separation, which might be healthy for both of you.

[cavmanier]

So lie to him. I don't see the point in putting up a fake front. I'd rather be me but yeah I know most people wanna play games.

[martyfellow]

No, don't lie, don't say a lot at all. Just mostly listen to him and then see if you both are on the same page when you suggest a plan!

[oneconfusedlady]

I never got my closure until over 2 months after my breakup... If it helps, write him a letter and have him read it there explaining your side, but do NOT emphasize apologizing or begging. If you feel you need to apologize, do so once. Maybe you can make a list of everything you need to talk about to help. I hate that feeling of having those few unanswered questions.

I know it hurts (and it hurts knowing my ex is in pain and in a bad rebound but that was his decision.) Don't only focus on what went wrong in the relationship too; DO talk about some of the good times! It will help you to feel better.

[Yriuqni]

A couple can only be friends after breaking up only if they were never really in love.. so if he once loved you, he won't be able to be " just friends"..

Anyway I say act relaxed..show that it affects you , but don't seem to clingy.. I know it hurts sweety, but maybe if you guys take a break or something .. then he might really miss you and wanna get back with you again.. act sad, yet sweet.. I wish you good luck , and you can message me anytime if you need help after you meet with him :)

[Asker]

I'm going to take your advice. It actually sounds lie exactly the right attitude to have. There's no point in trying to hide my feelings and prove to him that I don't care. And if he made this decision, I suppose trying to hard to get him back will just put him off even more. It is so difficult though. I really truly loved this guy and for a time both of us could see a future together. I guess that time has passed :( He was my first love and my best friend. I am so scared of losing all of that.

[Yriuqni]

Awwww I know exactly how you feel .. I had the same experience with 2 guys before ( in different times of course).. both were best friends.. and I fell for both of them.. and both of them left me in the worst possible manner.. they did come back later after 2-3 years.. but it didn't undo the pain they caused me .. it just happens.. try to hang in there and hold on until time will heal all the pain.. remember that we've all been there :)

[Erica2u]

I have exactly the same situation with you! But the difference is we never met with after the breakups. He tried to get me back twice for 2 weeks and I thought they were going good. However, for some reasons he would regreat again and again. So I don't talk to him anymore now.

But you should take others' advice here to meet with him. I mean, each couple is different. Just go and see how things going :) And good luck!

[kindaweird]

it is good to get closure but do not go into the meeting expecting something to happen. people break up for a reason, and eventually you will be able to look at this objectively. Eventually you will be okay but the break up is fairly new just keep yourself busy and do things that make you happy eventually you will find someone who is perfect for you