My ex doesn't even look at me - Why?

[bookwormy101]

I am a professional woman and dated a coworker. We dated for about one year and a half. We had a good relationship but my ex husband created a lot of drama. In the beginning of the relationship my ex boyfriend put up with it and made me feel that I was worth it. We argued but a normal amount and had great chemistry together. Then he started pulling away - a lot. I was trying to hold on to the relationship but he seems to want to end it. He did and I never texted him or attempted to make contact with him. I didn't want to seem desperate. I had already cried my heart out in front of him. So now it's been 7 months and when I see him at work he says hi - maybe. Sometimes he looks like he would rather be hit by a bus than see me. If he does say hi he quickly looks away. He changed his cell number and cut me out of every other contact group. Mind you, I never stalked him or did anything that would cause this behavior. I am always polite when I see him. I do still love him and miss him. I miss my friend. He seems to be content with never speaking or seeing me again. Is this something guys do? How are they so able to detach themselves from someone they once loved? Maybe we can't be friends but I would like to be more than just a nameless face to him at our job site. Guys please give me your thoughts. And the whole "just move on thing" isn't what I want to hear. I'm attempting a date this Saturday but I'm just curious about his behavior. Thanks.

[chessqueen]

WHen you say that your ex created a lot of drama between you and your then boyfriend, what did he actually do? Maybe your ex husband threatened him secretly behind your back? That is one option? Or he just couldn't take it anymore competing with another man. I certainly would be threatened if I am dating someone and he has a psycho ex wife or ex girlfriend. I think that is quite off putting and he feels that he could not enjoy a relationship with you. But with the way you decribed his behavior , I would t my money on the fact that he has been threatened by your ex husband and just did not want any trouble.

[bookwormy101]

Oh my ex was a complete nut. But he was at his worse early on in the relationship. He knew going in that it was going to be rough. We were actually having a calm period in our relationship when he broke up with me. Again, the drama was no surprise on his part. He stuck it out during the worse but when things got much better he bolted. Does he just like the drama? And after a year and a a half that when he realizes its not worth the hassle? Don't guys figure that out sooner?

[chessqueen]

Hmmm... well if your ex bolted during the nicer periods, I am definitely thinking he got threatened by your ex husband. How did your ex boyfriend break up with you? What was his excuse? Seriously I am DEFINATELY thinking and I KNOW he got threatened. Maybe his life was threatened or something that is why he bolted.

[bookwormy101]

He was threatened early on in the relationship and he took the lumps. It was so bad that the police were called. But still he kept on and love me even more. He stated as the reason why we broke up was because he wanted to be stress free. I know my life was stressful but he knew that going in. And if my ex husband threatened him again why was this the one that pushed him over the edge? I don't think he threatened him again, really.

[chessqueen]

Well I guess men can take what they can and then when it all becomes too much, he literally had the straw that broke the camels back.

[Anonymous]

some men are like that...they may feel the best way to forget you...but you two work in the same place :-(

well, he is trying to forget you lol

i friended you, if you wish to chat more about this, my ex. is the same way

[Moloch]

There's simply no reason to continue talking or getting to know you anymore. Your ex screwed it up and its just too much drama to handle.

[bookwormy101]

That's the thing. A polite work conversation with others present seems like too much to ask from him. He avoids me like tyhpoid mary. When we first broke up he would still stop by and see me or talk to me. But as time went on he started being a little mean when I would try to engage him in polite work appropriate conversation. Now it's like we are strangers. It hurts but of course being the professional I am I never show it. I just keep going like it doesn't bother me. Should I behave the same?

[Moloch]

Move on with your life.

[bookwormy101]

I know I need to. I will at some point. Thanks.