Ah, love. It leaves the smell of flowers in the air and the taste of melted chocolate on your tongue. It warms the cold recesses of my blackened soul to think about the beautiful man that I'm able to call mine. With his windswept hair, his strong jaw bone, his bright eyes, and his beautifully rich laugh. His humor drives me mad in the best way possible and his sweet side leaves me breathless. But then there's this thing I like to call "asshole mode". Listen up ladies and fellas, IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOUR BF/GF ISN'T PERFECT!
She can be a bitch.
Not ever Sue and Sally is the perfect angel she appears to be. So she nags at you, so she complains about things, so she some times she even borders on straight psychopathic. It is totally fine to tell her that she's being a bit over-whatever the hell she's being. Say it with some form of respect though. Work out a solution to what's happening. Why is she acting that way? What was going on in her life? What did you say in response? What is wrong?
He can be an ass.
Not all John's and James' are perfect either. So he hates your mother, so he leaves a mess everywhere, so he sometimes even borders on cold hearted caveman. Why would he be doing all of this? What did you say to him? What was happening before his little change?
You aren't perfect either.
He snores, she nags, he misses the toilet, she leaves makeup everywhere, he has a short temper, and she has a firey attitude. What next? Well, all you can do now is work it out.
She insulted your friends, but why? Was she upset by something? Can it be worked out? Maybe she was just being a straight up bitch and decided that you needed new friends. If that's the case, dump her. Or maybe you tipped her over the edge or allowed your friends to be rude to her first, so work that out and hear her side of the story as well as tell her yours.
He called you fat, but why? Was it intentional, or a slip of the tongue that came out totally wrong? Did he say something totally innocent and you took it the wrong way? Or maybe he only likes you for your looks. In that case, dump him.Talk to him about what he said in a calm manner and let him explain himself. You should also tell him how it made you felt.
EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE, AND THAT'S OKAY.
You can hate everyone, you can love every flaw like it's a perfect thing, or you can simply accept but acknowledge your partner's flaws as well as your own. You need to have communication to work in a relationship, but stepping on eggshells to reach your dream relationship is a HORRIBLE idea and you should ditch that thought immediately. Be straight up with your lover, but be respectful. You should also expect them to follow the same guidlines. This doesn't mean "be a dick to eachother" or "love him/her even though they make you miserable". Talk things over and work out compromises that benefit the good and bad inside of both of you while sparing eachother's feelings in an honest way.
That's all of the relationship advice this dork can give you for today, but keep the love strong until I can come up with some other tips of advice from the loner who manages to keep a strong relationship! (Go on, ask me how I do it so I can post seven and a half takes about that too!)
Most Helpful Opinions
Good take - I think it is how you get through the rough patches of a relationship that strengthens the foundations - Everyone can skip through the tulips on a sunny afternoon but getting back from that row where you were both tired said things you shouldn't have said helps you build communications to show how you can avoid going there again.
I agree completely, if your relationship is completely rainbows and bubbles then there may be an issue hidden in there somewhere. You need the rain to make a rainbow.