A week and a half ago, I posted a myTake: Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead. That was posted out of pure hurt, anger and rage at how my now "ex" SUPPOSEDLY went on a trip with her girlfriends, but in actuality, she was fucking several dudes in three different states over a span of 3 days. I found out about it via snap-chat & Facebook when she began flaunting several dudes to me, talking about her latest tally. It got even worse when I figured out she'd visited 3-4 states to fuck.
You have no idea how i felt at that moment: Used, worthless, betrayed and ridiculed. But yet, she never once wanted intimacy with me. She probably talked bad about me behind my back to these dudes, and told them she's single. She already has a kid by some random dude, and she doesn't even know who the father is. And i won't be surprised if she came up pregnant again, seeings how i was the one who found out she was pregnant a few summers ago.
I've been through this before with previous "girlfriends" which would probably last maybe 3 days at most, saying I was "too boring", "too nice" and all that other bullshit. Others would just turn on me, or ridicule me for being such a gentleman.
I didn't even ask why. I simply deleted her from facebook, Snapchat, and my phone contacts. That was THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO DO. I have a Swedish, and Bengali friend I talk to on Facebook, and here is what both girls said:
"I deserve better"
But I feel as if I'm not worthy of even that
I grew up in a household where I was regularly beaten, ridiculed, and ostracized, and viewed as nothing more as a pile of cash (I was adopted), and attended a fucked up school system where I face much of the same, if not even worse. I've come to expect this kind of treatment from everyone. Many of you may know that this school system is located in the famously democrat ruined "toilet" of the nation, and no, it's not Chi-town.
As I said on my previous myTake, I feel like it's no longer worth the hassle of going out and finding a soulmate, because I continuously get burned. I just can't do it anymore.
I don't feel bad about not giving women any more chances. I did that already. I was that guy. I treated women like gold. I didn't even want them for sex. I just really believed in all this equality shit. I believed more in women than men. It was the saddest thing there ever was. And I basically always got fucked over. I was the perfect guy that my ex said she always wanted. Yet she didn't want it. She had to go and cheat.
For letting you know how I feel
I too, should have lied
For the fake love of a girlfriend like you
I should have never cried
For taking revenge from you
I too, should have had a fling
But copying your disgusting style
Is really not my thing
I hate you
Now I know why you didn’t pick up my calls
Because you were seeing another guy
If I had known this from the beginning
I would have wasted no time in saying goodbye
Now I know why you always gave me excuses
To not come with me on a date
I still don’t know why you were cheating on me
Maybe pain and hurt were written in my fate
I hate you
I wish I never saw you on that fateful day
When you were looking so beautiful and stunning
Then my heart would have never gone astray
For you, desperately waiting and yearning
I wish the Gods had told me from the heavens above
That from you, I should stay away
With you, I wish I had never fallen in love
Then I would have never seen this day
I hate you
You are stunning
But your actions are deceiving
You are beautiful
But your actions are sinful
You are amazing
But your actions are undeserving
I hate you
Because of you, my heart is slashed
Because of you, my feelings are trashed
Because of you, my conscious is bashed
Because of you, my emotions are gashed
Because of you, my hopes and dreams are dashed
Because of you, my trust has been smashed
I hate you
I hate that I loved you so much
I could have loved you a little less
And if I wasn’t so emotionally into you
Right now, I would have found happiness
I hate the fact that I spent so much time with you
I could have been a little less obsessed
If I wasn’t so addicted to you
I would never have been so depressed
I hate you girl
I did everything you wanted me to
I gave you occasional surprises and bought gifts new
I did everything that could make you glad
I thought I was the best man you could have ever had
But it turns out that you were being impressed elsewhere
And that is the pain my heart couldn’t bear
I hate you girl
Hate is not the opposite of love
It is the opposite of care
Hate is not when you don’t love someone
It is the betrayal that you give someone to bear
I feel victimized for trusting you
So blindly and truly
If I knew that all you would give, was betrayal and lies
I would have behaved accordingly
I hate you
I hate you
Because I love you
But I can't love you
Because I hate you
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