Guys: Here's What's You're Getting Wrong About Girls

[Anonymous]

A lot of guys I know claim they simply don't get women. "They're confusing/difficult/impossible to figure out!", they say. "I did everything, I don't know why it didn't work!" is among the most common complaints. But as time passes and I get more experienced with men, I notice ever more clearly that most of them tend to have the same problems and misunderstandings when it comes to girls. Here's where they're wrong.

Real life girls are simple

I know what Hollywood's been selling. I know many girls are fooled by that too. But trust me: most girls are chill. Most girls would rather sit on the street and have a kebab while talking to you freely and honestly rather than have you spend one third of your monthly income on an awkward first date dinner. You don't have to spend big on girls. Listening to them, being open and honest and genuinely having fun will always be a better option.

Stop idealizing girls

A lot of guys, especially insecure ones, seem to think all they need in life is a beautiful, smart, quirky woman who will rescue them from their bottomless self-pity pit of despair and show them that life is awesome. But newsflash: girls are human beings. Girls have flaws, get sad, moody, tired. Girls have needs just as much as you do. They are people too and they won't "save" you, so don't expect them to.

If you listen, there won't be an issue

You don't know why she's mad at you, or been acting cold, or treating you like garbage? It's probably because you didn't listen to her. That is the most common mistake and the most tiring one: you can't understand someone you barely pay attention to except when it comes to sex. If you know her and truly listen to what she has to say, I guarantee you will know she's mad because of x, cold because of y, shutting you out because of z and you both will be able to fix it with the minimum amount of drama. It's not rocket science.

[AleDeEurope]

1) True. Girls aren't difficult, and good girls basically just want to enjoy a nice time with the guy they like. If you like someone, sitting on the curb eating a kebab with that person can be an amazing time.
You said this on a site where most people haven't spent much time with the opposite gender. Guys here think women just want you to spend your whole pay on them, and girls think that life is like a Disney/Hollywood movie where they're a princess.

2) Sooo true. I've been saying this for a loooong time. If you idealize women, you're putting them above you, and that gets you nowhere especially since it show lack of confidence and women love confident men. This mentality will also negatively affect some women who will think they're the shit and that they deserve everything (thinking they're princesses, like I said before).

3) I somewhat agree with this point. It's true that sometimes, the solution is just to listen, but some girls are very difficult to have them tell you exactly the problem. Sometimes you sit down with them and ask them to tell you what's going on, but they still don't tell you what the real issue is.
But more guys need to actually sit down and listen, do their part, and let her do her part.

I think this is a nice Take for this site... it's kind of obvious what you said, but with the people we have here, these needs to be said.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for being the first person who somewhat disagrees and is still polite!!! I agree with you that many girls are complicated when it comes to that but I gotta be very general here. A lot of guys complain about that but they don't even try to see where the problem is because "oh, women are soooo confusing". Obviously listening to your partner won't always solve things and there will be times when you really won't understand but my point was - at least TRY to!!!

[AleDeEurope]

Exactly. I completely agree with that. That's why at the end I said that the guy should do his part by listening, and let her do her part by opening up, cause if the guy doesn't listen, she will never open up, that's a fact.

[Paul09]

That's it? Just listen? But do they listen back? A few dates, Im sitting there and just listening. Barely give you a chance to respond. Don't get to know you because they do most of the talking. Doesn't work lol

[AleDeEurope]

@Paul09 Dude, that's not what this is about. You missed the point. We mean listen when she has a problem. If she knows you're someone who will listen to her, she will come to you when she has a problem, she will tell you instead of keeping it to herself and eventually hurting the relationship.
Of course I'm not saying you have to be always with your mouth shut... dude, it's common sense xD

[Paul09]

@AleDeEurope I know, I am a good listener. I'm always there to help if I can. But never seems to work the other way around.

[singleforsix]

I disagree. I see many women who pretend to be someone they are not to win a man... they pretend to like sports or whatever else they need to. As women we get mad when a man tries to sleep with us, mad when he doesn't try and sleep with us, say he calls to much, too little. We do send mixed messages and men are tired of it. I know several of my friends date men based on income/possessions. Philosophy: I can already take care of myself so I need a man that can take care of me. Total BS if you ask me, but there are women like that... and those women are what ruin it for the other women who are not like that.

[Love_Is_Eternal]

Bravo!!!

[roamer]

I was going to comment above but I see you already said it better—I predict a lonely future for anonymous.

[FatherJack]

Excellent comment & this is why many men simply give up on even mere dating.." and those women are what ruin it for the other women who are not like that." , sadly these are in the majority of women.

[singleforsix]

True story

[singleforsix]

My male friends all say "bitches be crazy" and sadly I have to agree. So many of my guy friends ave been screwed over by crazy women it makes me sick.

[Rawrzz]

I get women. In my view, most men *and* women don't get the opposite sex. Because we are naturally different, yet the same. So, people tend to project themselves onto others, approaching the situation from internal understanding of that "sameness", while not accounting for innate differences.

As for your points, I think any guy who has even so much as talked to a girl IRL knows this stuff. But, I'd also add that there are quite a few girls who endeavor to "fix" men. So, it's not out of the question that some chick would try to "save" a guy, if she saw sufficient worth or potential worth in him. Ultimately, we can only save ourselves, but other people can help. A lot.

As for the cold point, I wouldn't know. Listening has never been a problem for me. Though, it has also been my experience that when a woman is mad, oftentimes she won't talk about it and expect you to innately understand what you did wrong. Or play games and use tests as a means to determine things that she could just outright ask you about. Which I find really ironic, because women are said/supposed to be better at communication than men. I guess that's neither here nor there, but, stream of consciousness.

[Anonymous]

I dunno, I do listen. And I think this is definitely correct for really sweet and Genuine (capital G) girls. Definitely. Good take if it's about those ones.

But a lot of confused girls, sadly no matter how good a person you are, they still play games or demonstrate bouts of craziness. Same applies to guys the other way round.

However, I do think for some women they are their own worst enemy. I actually wrote a question trying to decipher the workings of a girl, can you help me out, it's a two parter?

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2200664-why-do-girls-read-reply-later-on-whatsapp-even-to-friends-potential

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2182612-how-d-a-woman-act-around-these-guys-do-they-allow-some-men-to-get

[kellyg83]

There is one problem I have with this. I have noticed that a lot of girls, and I used to do the same thing, will stand by and expect him to "take the hint." They act cold, and mean when they have a problem, but they just won't spit it out. This was the number one problem I had with my fiance. Boys are not psychics, and they aren't going to know the problem just because you're a couple and "should be on the same wave length." Now that I finally get this, I have no issue spitting out my feelings or issues.

[Kuraj]

*Eyeroll*
We "get you".
You don't have to spend big, but you have to spend something because then you are cheap, you also better have a stable job with respectable income because who else is going to take care of your kids while you stay at home right?
Don't "idolize us", but you better pamper us with frequent displays of affection, put us on the pedestal, listen to our every word and make us the point of your whole life.
And you better not expect us to provide you with values in return because that makes you a selfish asshole who doesn't deserve us the way you are because you are all the most special snowflakes out there.

[godfatherfan]

Simple or not, women don't know how to be straight forward like men. We just say what is wrong. we don't play games. Women feel a man should be able to read minds, none of us can. they hint, or pout, and it is frustrating. I was with my ex wife 25 years and I still don't understand women. That is why I gave up dating.

[Tony1974]

Here's what I think about your last point: BULLSHIT!!! You're not a 2 year old child and I won't put up with a grown woman throwing a temper-trantrum. Cut your passive-aggressive bullshit and speak your mind. I'm not going to guess which of you million and one issues I wasn't giving 100% of my attention to... stop being so damn psychotic and get over yourselves. Contrary to popular belief, the world doesn't revolve around you. I don't understand the logic: I'm upset with you for X so I won't talk to you. I'm going to freeze you out until you give in to my demands. How very grown up of you. And this is how you treat somebody you "supposedly" LOVE/LIKE? I can only imagine what you do to people you hate...

[ThisDudeHere]

"or treating you like garbage? It's probably because you didn't listen to her"

There is never a reason to treat your loved one as garbage. How about instead of doing that, you make them listen first? Don't just expect them to do it when they're not doing it. Make them do it.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

The trouble you ladies have with us guys is that we look at your past and what you do, not the things you say, which never match. Because of this, not only do we get you, but it is very simple for us to do so. Trouble is, we ACTUALLY get you, not what you wish we'd believe, because we judge actions, not words.

[Anonymous]

The thousand cock stare is hard to describe in words: you either recognize it or you don’t. I think the best way to describe it would be as a vapid lifelessness of a woman who’s trying her best to hide her slut past and post-wall desperation. It’s not surprising that they often resemble a recovering addict—which they are, in some ways. They also tend to look older than their real age as excessive alcohol and cocks destroyed their youth. I knew one gorgeous girl, who was the closest thing to a 10 I’ve seen in my life, hit the wall with visible TCS by the time she reached 24.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

Best way to find the most truth in a comment? Look for the comment in blue with the most pink down votes.

[Opinion Owner]

@Notorisch_Arschloch always the way. Funny thing is these same girls would soone fuck me than any white knighting Mr Feminist who "respects" them lol.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

Fancy that. Hold doors, pay and be polite, "such a good friend," but act the prick and don't give a fuck and: LAID. EVERY. TIME.

[Prof_Don]

I very, very, VERY much agree with point 1!

Too many guys, put way too much focus on trying to impress and WOW! the girl. The key to a date, especially in the beginning, is to spend quality time in each other's company. Go for coffee, or smoothies, or go get a meal at a diner. Simple stuff! Stop trying so damn hard to impress! :-D

[RandomBritishGuy94]

"You don't know why she's mad at you, or been acting cold, or treating you like garbage? It's probably because you didn't listen to her."

Or she's not a nice rational person. You can't blame the guy if the women goes a little crazy (and vice-versa).

The rest was about right. Some men seem to forget that, for better or worse, women are just people. This means some are nice people, some aren't. Some are loud, and some aren't.

[LittleSally]

I was confused by the title of your first point because I was thinking you meant about the way we think... but your explanation is correct. Honestly, I've never known a woman who expects a man to pay for a dinner or something extreme. Maybe a ticket to the movies... or a coffee and that's it.
All your points are on point.

Nice take!

[Bananaman177]

Women think they understand men, men know they don't understand women.

That's the biggest difference between the genders.

[Shorty1991]

But some men seem to think they understand women and they don't.

[Bananaman177]

@Shorty1991 I never met a guy claiming that, but maybe.

[GraveTruth]

Oh, here we go. What's this?
the 40 millionth article where the guy is not doing something right or needs to do something.

WHY is it' the MANS responsibility always?

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

Because solipsism is a feature, not a bug.

ALL women are like that.

[TCJ1234567]

go as far as saying girls are easy to understand, they send mixed signals, they will tell you they want one thing and go after another.

That being said, I agree. 99.99% of all issues in a relationship come down to communicating with your partner. Not keeping your mouth shut while she talks, but actively listening to her.

[Djaaaaay]

This only pertains to insecure boys , if any !! Men of experience never act like this what so ever. And to add guys are not confused about girls like you wished they were , so this take I find irreverently not really true. That being said , Seriously?

[Djaaaaay]

Women /girls aren't that hard to figure out , just thier lies are !!

[Anonymous]

Look at a woman's actions guys not the BS that comes out of her mouth. You'll find major contrast. Women say what they think is socially acceptable because they fear being judged and ostracized from social circles. They are rarely honest about what's in their heart.

[Usersame]

Nice try, but women really are complicated. Most of the time they don't know what they are doing, and i'm speaking from expirience.
Quite a lot of women i met pretend what they are doing makes sense, but don't act consistently and cofuse people. Then when they fck up big time, they expect the guy to clean their mess.

[CasaNorba]

"If you listen, there won't be an issue"

this is 100,000% incorrect. throughout life I've learned that more you listen to a women the more insane you will end up in the long run. if you are really trying to reasoning with us please inform with the real stuff, we are sick of hearing all that sugar coated bullshit coming from women themselves.

PS: @Mrwoo99 couldnt of said it any better

[Mrwoo99]

Women say one thing but statistics, books, millions of mens experiences and visuals say another...

[CasaNorba]

@Mrwoo99 exactly! that's why they say that when you want to learn how to fish you always ask the fishermen for tips and advice. you dont jump into the pond and ask the fishes themselves

[Mrwoo99]

The problem is neo-feminism and the occults social cultural engineering and it's effect on today's modern women. The problem is not women declaring whether they're feminists or not, it's the indoctrination in western civilisation of neo-feminism which is brainwashing women. Feminism is programming their toxic values in to women through media, society manipulation and cultural Marxism. It's the same way being born and programmed from birth in to an othordox Islamic nation, you don't have the choice to be Christian in those countries and would automatically end up a Muslim lile the rest of the nation.

It's the same over here with feminism when women shame women who value femininity or traditionalism as being sexist and misogynistic.

[CasaNorba]

@Mrwoo99 true I am really starting to believe that it was the government that created feminism after all

[Mrwoo99]

Feminism is a zionist creation to utilise eugenics on the western population by decreasing the population and lowering the fertility rate the same way in Japan. It even says on the Georgia guidstones 10 commandments that the population should be no more than 5 million in world. So they are trying to create a gender war between the sexes which is part of the social engineering.

[CasaNorba]

@Mrwoo99 yea they are also using thousands or should I say millions of chemicals nowadays are being used in our food and most of our household appliances that are actually tampering with baby boys being born. you should watch that documentary The Disappearing Male when you get a chance...

https://vimeo.com/15346778

[Anonymous]

If girls want to be sure that a guy will listen to them? Then they need to massively increase their signal to noise ratio.

"I was out today with Julie.. you remember Julie? The blonde one with the overweight sister Marie? Oh you do remember Marie! She was fat but you said you like fat women to her face? Anyway she wasn't there, but her sister was, and... Her sister? Julie! The one I was talking about! Anyway, I was out today with Julie and..."