You're thinking about it from just one side, guys do not like to chase. It's nervewracking and humbling and down right annoying sometimes. Imagine being new to a hostile class and you have to ask them one by one whether you can sit with them. They have to ask a girl to date them who they might not know or even if they know the girl, she might not return the feelings. Some girls will be nice about it but some will reject you so hard that your head will spin.
I smell cats in somebody's future. And honestly you're putting it is as getting the girl is the goal of mans life lol. Might have been for a caveman, but nowadays work and getting your life's goals are a priority... you're just a byproduct of my free time.
You don't get it... divorce rates are higher than ever in proportion.
Most people used to marry back in the day so there were high divorce figures due to the number of marriages. Today only half people or less are marrying, which seems that the number is low which it isn't. Relativity: The lower proportions of marriages and a steady rate in divorces is actually bad. Less people are getting married and around half marriages sill end up in divorce. What does that tells you?
Divorce rates are higher than ever considering the amount of people marrying nowadays. I couldn't be clearer.
"About 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached their 15th anniversary (excluding those in which a spouse died), up from about 65 percent of those that began in the 1970s and 1980s. Those who married in the 2000s are so far divorcing at even lower rates. If current trends continue, nearly two-thirds of marriages will never involve a divorce, according to data from Justin Wolfers, a University of Michigan economist (who also contributes to The Upshot)."
The rate isn't steady. It's declining.
"Some of the decline in divorce clearly stems from the fact that fewer people are getting married — and some of the biggest declines in marriage have come among groups at risk of divorce. But it also seems to be the case that marriages have gotten more stable, as people are marrying later."
I'd argue that it is a good thing that marriage rates are declining. In the past, many people married out if necessity, which lead to unhappy marriages, some of which ended in
But many more of which saw people living in unhealthy and unhappy marriages.
Fewer people are marrying, but those who are marrying are doing it later and with a better idea of who they are and what they want, and are therefore having healthier, happier marriages which are less likely to end in divorce.
Is there no end to the hypocrisy and double standards of women? You want to end "all gender roles" that you don't like in the name of "equality" but you have no problem at all arguing to maintain the ones that benefit you.
Women are hypocrites, and feminists are the worst of all.
I don't pretend to understand the reasoning behind women making men go through hoops just to get her attention and keep it. The whole chasing thing needs to stop. She isn't some prize to obtain, she is a human being and should also treat him like one too as he is not a circus ape. What women need to do is act like proper adults and not children. You really want men to commit? Stop treating them like toilet paper and playing head games.
Exactly they say its always us guys that are bad... well guess what if were bad, what are you girls? Well a hell of a lot worse, such hypocrisy to the fullest.
Lol, if you want men to use their ancient predatory instincts to acquire women then don't expect them to play by your rules: expect them to buy you from your father or simply drag you, kicking and screaming, onto their longships...
As for the other points, they can just as easily be reversed to argue men should let women pursue them.
Just admit you're too chicken to make a move or even meet a man halfway.
question. assuming you believe this take/article, if you and a guy were interested in each other but suddenly the guy starts giving one word answers and not really talking to you how do you respond? just hope things go back to normal? lose interest? etc
She didn't say that at all. She wants the guy to initiate the relationship. That doesn't me she's not invested in the relationship.
I know when I try to initiate a relationship, it never works out. But guys ask me out all the time. Maybe she has some sense in what she's talking about
@Falling4UTC i'm not saying she doesn't but it also seems like you read what you wanted to read:
she says "If something pops into your life, without you having to work for it, you will be more inclined to not take it seriously or appreciate it, and let it go..." as a reason why you "the girl" should let the man chase you.
she says "The harder you work for what you want, and the harder it is, the more you are going to appreciate it." as the very next piece of advice. so then unless i'm misunderstanding she's saying first that it's good to let the man chase so that the woman will be able to let it go if it doesn't work. Then she says by the man working hard he will appreciate you. Which means she's saying it's a good thing for the woman to be "not be inclined to take it seriously or appreciate it" while at the same time its good for the man to work hard because he'll appreciate it.
do you seriously not understand what i'm talking about or do you not want to understand?
@Jamesol1 lol, you're right. i nailed her on it. she may hit me back with some BS that attempts to shame me in order to distract me from the fact that she was completely wrong.
@Falling4UTC There are also plenty of examples of guys initiating the relationship yet it never works out. Maybe you just suck at courting men, doesn't mean that other women can't be better at it.
chasing comes under a gray area. By chasing , are you being creepy and stalker-ish or romantic and fun? It can be impossible to tell. I play it safe. If she is playing hard to get then Ill see it as disinterest and stop the chase there.
Then you can come on GAG or Facebook and bitch about there being "No good men" because the people who chase you just want to have sex.
90% of women won't be chased by the kind of men they actually want to date. Why do you think there are so many magazines that have articles on "how to attracted the man of your dreams".
Most males in nature chase after females instinctively to spread their sperm, to reproduce. It is the survival of the strongest, and fittest. They dont chase you too long just because you are a unique pearl in the ocean or you're the only girl who can have sex with them. If you dont have a bargaining chip and if sex is the only one, go ahead let them chase you instead of being straightforward strong and showing what you want.
@Bobbyhill1 it is not for men, males. It is all males in general, in animal kingdom. I was criticizing the view of let men chase after you. I find it pretty stupid and funny. Men and women are equal and both like to be flattered by being and feeling liked by someone. No point in saying only men should chase...
well Im sorry sometimes I just skim through things. I think the reason behind most males chasing females in the animal kingdom is due to environment as anything else is. There are some species out there like certain types of birds that the female chooses based on how colorful his feathers are, or the bonobo apes which chose the males. The thing is, humans are much more diverse, and we are aware of why we do things. Animal instinct isn't really needed these days.
@Bobbyhill1 i think you need to check a bit of psychology. On the basis we still have instinctive needs and sex is one of them. The main reason to go after a female again for most males, i dont say all, is to reproduce. And the only thing that separates humans on top of these instincts is the ability to think, filter and decide what to do. If a woman does not want a man, she should simply say no. If a woman wants a man, there is no point in playing hard-to-get mind games with the man. It sends a signal that the only thing that woman has is her pussy. Only women who lack confidence in their ability to keep a man let a man chase for no reason. We are all adults. I see no point in thinking that you are some kind of pearl in the ocean...
im not denying the reason to reproduce, and I understand that in psychology , everything is mainly environmental. Thats literally one of the FIRST things we learn. what I did say is, behavior is explained by environment and this is common sense. you can think for yourself all you want, but your life experiences shape you and your outlook on things. in your case, you feel as if her method sends the wrong signal, and her case she thinks the exact opposite and that can be changed over time due to environment as I was implying before. In reality, you still are using your instinct, its just not as simplistic as the rest of the animal kingdom.
@coachTanthony please refrain yourself and your tasteless sarcasm from my profile questions and comments, and go do your coaching to people who need it. Thanks
@coachTanthony I think you are the one who needs coaching, please dont go do coaching to others. If i would write this effing anonymous take, how would i comment on it with my name? Please slowly take your hands off of your keyboard and your bullshit away, you cyber-stalker.
Man I am so tired of having to be this or that or if I complain about something I'm being a whiny B if it not this confident guy I need to do this or that or I need to get more interesting hobbies to interest women even if I don't like them, I am so tired of this crap don't approach here no approach here no don't do that that's wrong, how about just not approach women at all, relationships are suppose to be fun and two people who like each other but it seems today that they age you 10 years with all the drama etc and cause you more frustration and depression/unhappiness than happiness.
If you play hard to get, you are hard to want by men. Trust me we are sick of putting in more effort than women! A girl who is decent looking and does the chasing is worth more than any other girl! Wanting special treatment like this post suggests, just makes you a less valuable dating prospect.
Let me translate "I'm such a cowered and can't handle rejection I need the man to do all the work". Get off your lazy ass, if you see someone you like don't play stupid games like a child because you need your ego stroked, approach them, put some work in. Don't put it all on the guy because you are afraid.
Exactly when its all said and done i rather be by myself forever then to play little games no matter how good she might be. At the end of the day i got my dignity with me, so its all good.
Exactly men were designed to spread that seed and women hate it. God I love the double standard, women must hate themselves so much they have project their pain to world by creating feminism lol
@mrwoo99 you do realise some people are feminists because they believe in equality, not because they wanna shut guys down?
Honestly I don't really like feminism because of their strategy. They try to equalise the sexes by only helping the female side. The strategy should be to help women where they are less privledged than men and men where they are less privledged than women (ie. Not winning in court BC of being a man, being falsely accused of rape, etc.)
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
79Opinion
You're thinking about it from just one side, guys do not like to chase. It's nervewracking and humbling and down right annoying sometimes. Imagine being new to a hostile class and you have to ask them one by one whether you can sit with them. They have to ask a girl to date them who they might not know or even if they know the girl, she might not return the feelings. Some girls will be nice about it but some will reject you so hard that your head will spin.
I smell cats in somebody's future.
And honestly you're putting it is as getting the girl is the goal of mans life lol. Might have been for a caveman, but nowadays work and getting your life's goals are a priority... you're just a byproduct of my free time.
Why you should never chase a girl:
1) There's thousands of better girls out there, don't waste your time.
This entire take boils down to you thinking of yourself and other women are prey / prizes to be won.
Fuck that. Maybe that works for you, but it sure as hell doesn't for a lot of modern women.
by the way, divorce rates are not higher than ever. They peaked n the 70s and have been steadily declining since...
@Sara413 Women are prizes to be won.
Not true, divorce rates are higher than ever.
@Love_Is_Eternal
www.google.ca/.../the-divorce-surge-is-over-but-the-myth-lives-on.html&ved=0ahUKEwjuod7Qu6vRAhVj0YMKHRmPDxEQFggdMAE&usg=AFQjCNElqFlRlGtvmq4KXIhunXW7uCcKjg&sig2=iR6qdkGprsjNAKvxQiVMQg
Thus has been discussed ad nauseum on this site...
You don't get it... divorce rates are higher than ever in proportion.
Most people used to marry back in the day so there were high divorce figures due to the number of marriages. Today only half people or less are marrying, which seems that the number is low which it isn't. Relativity: The lower proportions of marriages and a steady rate in divorces is actually bad. Less people are getting married and around half marriages sill end up in divorce. What does that tells you?
Divorce rates are higher than ever considering the amount of people marrying nowadays. I couldn't be clearer.
@bedroomdweller
"About 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached their 15th anniversary (excluding those in which a spouse died), up from about 65 percent of those that began in the 1970s and 1980s. Those who married in the 2000s are so far divorcing at even lower rates. If current trends continue, nearly two-thirds of marriages will never involve a divorce, according to data from Justin Wolfers, a University of Michigan economist (who also contributes to The Upshot)."
The rate isn't steady. It's declining.
"Some of the decline in divorce clearly stems from the fact that fewer people are getting married — and some of the biggest declines in marriage have come among groups at risk of divorce. But it also seems to be the case that marriages have gotten more stable, as people are marrying later."
I'd argue that it is a good thing that marriage rates are declining. In the past, many people married out if necessity, which lead to unhappy marriages, some of which ended in
But many more of which saw people living in unhealthy and unhappy marriages.
Fewer people are marrying, but those who are marrying are doing it later and with a better idea of who they are and what they want, and are therefore having healthier, happier marriages which are less likely to end in divorce.
PIG SLOP!!! Every time you post your comment a load of poop comes out.
You in 15 years time:
az616578.vo.msecnd.net/.../...y-cat-lady-color.jpg
Is there no end to the hypocrisy and double standards of women? You want to end "all gender roles" that you don't like in the name of "equality" but you have no problem at all arguing to maintain the ones that benefit you.
Women are hypocrites, and feminists are the worst of all.
I don't pretend to understand the reasoning behind women making men go through hoops just to get her attention and keep it. The whole chasing thing needs to stop. She isn't some prize to obtain, she is a human being and should also treat him like one too as he is not a circus ape. What women need to do is act like proper adults and not children. You really want men to commit? Stop treating them like toilet paper and playing head games.
Exactly they say its always us guys that are bad... well guess what if were bad, what are you girls? Well a hell of a lot worse, such hypocrisy to the fullest.
Lol, if you want men to use their ancient predatory instincts to acquire women then don't expect them to play by your rules: expect them to buy you from your father or simply drag you, kicking and screaming, onto their longships...
As for the other points, they can just as easily be reversed to argue men should let women pursue them.
Just admit you're too chicken to make a move or even meet a man halfway.
question. assuming you believe this take/article, if you and a guy were interested in each other but suddenly the guy starts giving one word answers and not really talking to you how do you respond? just hope things go back to normal? lose interest? etc
sooo basically women should not be as invested in the relationship as the man since presumably he worked a lot harder for it?
lol this seems like it was written just to rile up men
She didn't say that at all. She wants the guy to initiate the relationship. That doesn't me she's not invested in the relationship.
I know when I try to initiate a relationship, it never works out. But guys ask me out all the time. Maybe she has some sense in what she's talking about
@Falling4UTC i'm not saying she doesn't but it also seems like you read what you wanted to read:
she says "If something pops into your life, without you having to work for it, you will be more inclined to not take it seriously or appreciate it, and let it go..." as a reason why you "the girl" should let the man chase you.
she says "The harder you work for what you want, and the harder it is, the more you are going to appreciate it." as the very next piece of advice. so then unless i'm misunderstanding she's saying first that it's good to let the man chase so that the woman will be able to let it go if it doesn't work. Then she says by the man working hard he will appreciate you. Which means she's saying it's a good thing for the woman to be "not be inclined to take it seriously or appreciate it" while at the same time its good for the man to work hard because he'll appreciate it.
do you seriously not understand what i'm talking about or do you not want to understand?
Don't expect her to reply girls on here hate debating and often resort to ''I don't care or your pathetic''.
@Jamesol1 lol, you're right. i nailed her on it. she may hit me back with some BS that attempts to shame me in order to distract me from the fact that she was completely wrong.
But it's not even fair support since she's 17...
oh well
@Falling4UTC There are also plenty of examples of guys initiating the relationship yet it never works out. Maybe you just suck at courting men, doesn't mean that other women can't be better at it.
chasing comes under a gray area. By chasing , are you being creepy and stalker-ish or romantic and fun? It can be impossible to tell. I play it safe. If she is playing hard to get then Ill see it as disinterest and stop the chase there.
Then you can come on GAG or Facebook and bitch about there being "No good men" because the people who chase you just want to have sex.
90% of women won't be chased by the kind of men they actually want to date. Why do you think there are so many magazines that have articles on "how to attracted the man of your dreams".
Most males in nature chase after females instinctively to spread their sperm, to reproduce. It is the survival of the strongest, and fittest. They dont chase you too long just because you are a unique pearl in the ocean or you're the only girl who can have sex with them. If you dont have a bargaining chip and if sex is the only one, go ahead let them chase you instead of being straightforward strong and showing what you want.
you have a very broad view of men. Although I do find it funny how women always feel the need to explain how men work better than men themselves.
@Bobbyhill1 it is not for men, males. It is all males in general, in animal kingdom. I was criticizing the view of let men chase after you. I find it pretty stupid and funny. Men and women are equal and both like to be flattered by being and feeling liked by someone. No point in saying only men should chase...
well Im sorry sometimes I just skim through things. I think the reason behind most males chasing females in the animal kingdom is due to environment as anything else is. There are some species out there like certain types of birds that the female chooses based on how colorful his feathers are, or the bonobo apes which chose the males. The thing is, humans are much more diverse, and we are aware of why we do things. Animal instinct isn't really needed these days.
@Bobbyhill1 i think you need to check a bit of psychology. On the basis we still have instinctive needs and sex is one of them. The main reason to go after a female again for most males, i dont say all, is to reproduce. And the only thing that separates humans on top of these instincts is the ability to think, filter and decide what to do. If a woman does not want a man, she should simply say no. If a woman wants a man, there is no point in playing hard-to-get mind games with the man. It sends a signal that the only thing that woman has is her pussy. Only women who lack confidence in their ability to keep a man let a man chase for no reason. We are all adults. I see no point in thinking that you are some kind of pearl in the ocean...
im not denying the reason to reproduce, and I understand that in psychology , everything is mainly environmental. Thats literally one of the FIRST things we learn. what I did say is, behavior is explained by environment and this is common sense. you can think for yourself all you want, but your life experiences shape you and your outlook on things. in your case, you feel as if her method sends the wrong signal, and her case she thinks the exact opposite and that can be changed over time due to environment as I was implying before. In reality, you still are using your instinct, its just not as simplistic as the rest of the animal kingdom.
Most males in nature? Guess what we aren't animals but thanks for putting us in a box.
@coachTanthony learn to read comments and stuff before jumping in a thank-you conclusion.
@lyannamormont My apologies... You are right.. . no hard feelings?
@coachTanthony i have no hard feelings, definitely not from you... Thou you can have some idc.
@lyannamormont You are going to go very far in life I can feel it! You are awesome!
@coachTanthony please refrain yourself and your tasteless sarcasm from my profile questions and comments, and go do your coaching to people who need it. Thanks
@lyannamormont So you wrote this mytake... How was I suppose to know... it was anonymous... please except my deepest apologies.
@coachTanthony I think you are the one who needs coaching, please dont go do coaching to others. If i would write this effing anonymous take, how would i comment on it with my name? Please slowly take your hands off of your keyboard and your bullshit away, you cyber-stalker.
both of you guys are hilarious. you need a tv show
Man I am so tired of having to be this or that or if I complain about something I'm being a whiny B if it not this confident guy I need to do this or that or I need to get more interesting hobbies to interest women even if I don't like them, I am so tired of this crap don't approach here no approach here no don't do that that's wrong, how about just not approach women at all, relationships are suppose to be fun and two people who like each other but it seems today that they age you 10 years with all the drama etc and cause you more frustration and depression/unhappiness than happiness.
As long as you're not playing hard to get I don't see anythign wrong with enjoying a man pursuing you.
"4. The harder you work for something, the more fortunate you feel when you attain it"
Unless it's a man who loves to chase, then he will often loose interest when he gets you and go chase someone else.
If you play hard to get, you are hard to want by men. Trust me we are sick of putting in more effort than women! A girl who is decent looking and does the chasing is worth more than any other girl! Wanting special treatment like this post suggests, just makes you a less valuable dating prospect.
Let me translate "I'm such a cowered and can't handle rejection I need the man to do all the work". Get off your lazy ass, if you see someone you like don't play stupid games like a child because you need your ego stroked, approach them, put some work in. Don't put it all on the guy because you are afraid.
I'm not chasing a woman that is INTENTIONALLY making actions to run away from me, i'm more valuable than that.
Exactly when its all said and done i rather be by myself forever then to play little games no matter how good she might be. At the end of the day i got my dignity with me, so its all good.
@Robertinho unfortunately too many people our age and younger don't value their dignity enough
Indeed...
First i thought so too. I've read all those articles. And did it help? No
I don't want to act like i don't care or I'm not interested. Because it's not true.
So from now on, i show interest and be honest. If the guy doesn't reply well to that, well he wasn't the right one
good decision. :)
If you're going by biological instinct then it should be fine for him to cheat on you and chase other girls too. Gotta spread that seed.
Exactly men were designed to spread that seed and women hate it. God I love the double standard, women must hate themselves so much they have project their pain to world by creating feminism lol
@mrwoo99 you do realise some people are feminists because they believe in equality, not because they wanna shut guys down?
Honestly I don't really like feminism because of their strategy. They try to equalise the sexes by only helping the female side. The strategy should be to help women where they are less privledged than men and men where they are less privledged than women (ie. Not winning in court BC of being a man, being falsely accused of rape, etc.)