Gonna make this one a quickie.
So I've been seeing debate over this pop up a lot lately (especially on GaG), and so i thought I'd share my point of view. A lot of guys have this fear of approaching girls that catch their eye, whether it be at a grocery store, on the street, in class, or whatever else. The fear is usually centered around potentially being viewed as creepy or embarrassing themselves. My view is that you really shouldn't give a fuck, and i'll state three reasons why
Number 1 - You will NEVER know what girls collectively want
So you think girls don't like being cold approached on the street? Well...yeah...Some don't like it. But on the flip side, some enjoy it.
So you think girls don't like being approached at the coffee shop? Well yeah...Some don't like it. But on the flip side, some enjoy it.
So you think girls don't like being approached at the library? Well yeah...Some don't like it. But on the flip side, some enjoy it.
Getting the point? In your attempt to avoid being perceived a certain way by one group of women, you're potentially closing yourself off from a girl who would respect and be attracted to your boldness. I was reminded of the somewhat confusing nature of the collective female mind after seeing how many women STILL voted for Trump, despite how apparently despicable to women he is behind closed doors. Individually, a girl may know what she wants, but collectively its a confusing mess that you really shouldn't burden yourself with trying to understand. The best approach is to approach....and if you choose to do so...make no apology for it, and take full responsibility for it. Give me almost any place on the planet, and i can find for you girls that don't like being approached there, and girls that do. Think all girls like being approached even in a "approach sanctioned" place like a club/bar? Well, nope. How many times have you heard girls go to a bar/club and say that they are there to enjoy the night with their friends, and don't really want to be harassed by guys? I have...many times. There really is no "winning" in the sense that you will never please everyone when it comes to a subject like this...so why bother? You can choose to not approach/make the first move at all, but then you'll just end up pissing off girls like this, and your sexually frustrated self in the process.
Number 2 - If you don't make the first move, she won't
You know this to be true, generally. Sometimes, I'll read a question on GaG discussing this, and ill happen to read the opinion of a girl who doesn't like being hit on, and I'll see a bunch of guys on her opinion basically putting their intimidation on display in an effort to not be viewed as creepy by this one girl. What some guys don't seem to get is that once this girl finally decides that its time for her to come out of her shell and date, she'll get her guy no problem. While you continue to sit at home twiddling your thumbs, being a good boy by not taking a risk in order to not be viewed negatively by some girls, making them as comfortable as possible...the girl(s) who you are taking your commands from are getting throat-fucked by their boyfriend. I'm not saying you HAVE to make the first move as the guy. What I AM saying though is that your reason/excuse for not making the first move had better be much more sensible than that.
Number 3 - The worst that can happen is that she tells you to fuck off, unless...
Unless you aren't properly socially calibrated, and you end up doing something you really shouldn't do. If you're going to make a boldish move, i would suggest three general guidelines that will keep you out of trouble: 1) Don't approach women in areas where they can't escape from you should they choose to (ie. no elevators, no trains, no planes) 2) No means no, period. And 3) Do not touch her, nor follow her...unless specifically prompted by her to do so. if you follow these general rules, typically the worst that will happen is that she will tell you she isn't interested, or she won't even acknowledge your existence...in which case you get points for trying.
So for these reasons, i generally encourage guys to not make excuses, and to just do it. I know girls who literally met their boyfriends on a freeway/intersection. I also know girls who don't like being hit on whatsoever. The world is full of nuance things and nuanced people...and so instead of trying to cater to the ends of that nuance which doesn't serve you well at all, i argue that you should cater to the ends that actually gets you what you want out of life. We all know that very little in life is handed to you. We typically have to go out and get what we want. Dating and women are no different.