5 Reasons Why I Don't Hate Tinder

[Anonymous]

Tinder is a highly controversial app that gets a lot of hate and for good reason. Anyone and everyone seems to have an opinion regardless of whether or not they've actually used it. However in my experience of using it over the last year or so (more seriously in the last 5 or so months), I've come to realise that I have actually gained a lot from using the app and here's why I don't hate it. That being said I can only really speak for girls using it as I'm sure the experience is very different for guys.

1. It's built my self-confidence immensely.

I used to be a painfully shy, take no risks, keep to yourself and don't talk to strangers type of person. Tinder is great practice to talk to guys. Even before that stage, it may seem selfish, but just getting matches raises your self-esteem. And sure, some of the assholes you talk to may be overtly sexual or rude in some cases, but the beauty of the app is that you can just ignore, or unmatch them. Eventually, you WILL develop enough confidence to actually meet up with people.

2. It's taught me how to face rejection.....and how to reject people kindly.

This is a strange one, because obviously no one LIKES rejection, but its an inevitable part of life. Tinder has helped me with that. I still have the same insecurities that I used to, but I've learnt not to dwell on things. Not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone. I have also learnt how to apply this to myself when I'm not attracted to someone. I HATE being ghosted, so I won't allow myself to partake in that behaviour. I'm still somewhat a coward, but I have mastered the art of the breakup (if you can call it that) text, and I THINK (or hope!) guys appreciate that more than being ignored.

3. It's allowed me to meet friends all over the world.

Yes, I'm one of those people that will swipe when they travel. But it's from Tinder that I've actually met some great friends overseas, and why I'll always have a couch to crash on if i decide to ever go back.

4. You end up with a tonne of funny stories.

They may not be funny at the time. But they will be....and if they're not, they're at least memorable. Trust me.

5. The SEX.

Okay so this one will probably get me a bit of hate. But before I started using Tinder, my experiences were minimal, and very safe. Tinder has allowed me to explore my sexuality, try a LOT of new things and open my mind up to a tonne of things I wouldn't have even considered before. It's also reinforced just how different sex can be from person to person, and the importance of a sexual connection once I do decide to settle into a long term relationship.

I could keep going, but those are probably the main points for now... I have actually learnt a great deal from Tinder, and would not trade my Tinder experiences for anything, and if this convinces even one person to give it a go, then my job is done! :P But as with anything, safety is key ;)

[vishna]

A friend of mine met her boyfriend there, so cool :) people are looking for lots of things there.
I don't think I'd do it (because I'm realllly not patient enough to sieve through the sleaze balls) but online/app dating is cool.

[coachTanthony]

Tinder is like taking candy from a baby. Love that site! And I will take the candy.. I am not proud.

[redeyemindtricks]

Tinder isn't a site.

[coachTanthony]

@redeyemindtricks Tinder online is coming soon!

[McKellar]

My thoughts on Tinder,... it's a 50/50 & a give or take type of an app.

1. I do fully recognize that women do encounter a high percentage of men who are fucked up as hell & realistically in a vise-versa optics,.. men do encounter crazy women off of that app. I know I have met a few ladies off of it. Some were... mm... meh, whatever, some were like,"WTF! You serious? She's like this?" & Others were like,"Hm.. Okay! We've got a good connection here!" 1 of them which I have met, her & I stayed connected as good pals so not every situation through that app is going down the shit hole per say. Now if you ladies do get a match that you have swiped right onto a guy earlier,..& you either spoken to him very little or not at all & unmatch him,... why swipe right onto his profile in the first place? To me that doesn't make any sense. If you don't want to chat with him through the app at all, then plain & simple,.. swipe left. Maybe there's a good reason why you ladies do that. I don't know, but to me it just makes more sense to swipe left onto his profile than the opposite if you don't want to message him at all.

2. Tinder is apparently designed for hooking ups, yet people use it for seeking a date or just meeting people on the app. Perhaps there should be some kind of a social app designed to meet people, chat with them on the app & see what happens from there. The reason why I mentioned this is again Tinder is designed for hook ups, yet people use it to just meet people & see what happens like if a potential relationship might emerge from them. That's like a religious woman using a website like "Sex Search" or "Local Hook ups" just to find a Christian husband off of the site, or a guy who's strictly seeking sex with a girl off of a Christian dating site. I don't know if that makes any sense at all with any one, but that for sure as hell doesn't make any sense to me.

[AleDeEurope]

"It's built my confidence" thing is, most guys swipe right without even looking at the picture.
Just the other day, a male friend made himself look like a girl with the FaceApp, and even though he still looked like a guy, he got so many matches in 10 minutes, much more than he did when he posed as himself, as a guy xD
If you're using Tinder to increase your confidence, you're increasing it the wrong way.

I don't hate Tinder either, I've used it before and it was fun, but you don't meet the best people there. Honestly, every single girl has been as empty as my bank account... maybe that's why I can't use Tinder for more than 2 months before deleting it xD

[myTake Owner]

Hahaha well I assume that if I've been talking to someone and get to the meeting up stage I can't have been a completely automatic swipe right...

Also I'm not some airhead, and I definitely didn't go on there looking for just hookups. I hate that this is what people just assume 😒

[AleDeEurope]

My point was that most guys there will shag anything, whether you're a 9 or a 3, so basing your value, and therefore, confidence, based on your success in Tinder, isn't the right way to go.

I never said you were an airhead or there just for hookups (even though that's sort of what you implied in your Take), I just explained my experience with Tinder girls.

[myTake Owner]

My confidence level hasn't increased merely from getting the matches. If you had read, it's more from the practice of interaction with guys, putting myself out of my comfort zone to go meet them, and the things I've learnt from the encounters.

[myTake Owner]

Also I never implied anything, aside from the fact that I HAD hooked up. Nowhere in there do I mention why I'm on there or what my intentions are.

[AleDeEurope]

You said just getting matches raises your self-esteem, and the proceeded to say this "Eventually, you WILL develop enough confidence to actually meet up with people." meaning without that confidence already developed, you wouldn't meet up with them :/

[AleDeEurope]

You said you sexually experimented... if you expect people to think something else, don't word it like that.

[myTake Owner]

Initially, yes. But on the whole I wouldn't put my newfound confidence down to just getting the matches. I'm not that stupid.

[myTake Owner]

I'll own that I've experimented. No shame. Just saying that's not all I'm there for.

[AleDeEurope]

I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm 100% sure there's smart women on Tinder too, but it's really not that common.
I don't know you, all I know is what you've written on this Take, so I'm neither implying you're smart, nor stupid.
I don't care if all you wanted was sex, or if you wanted something different, I could care less about your intentions, that's your business, but Tinder is a hookup app, most people there are looking for a hookup.

[myTake Owner]

Point taken.

Unrelated to the take, smart woman to a presumably smart man, it's "I couldn't care less", could care less implies you care.

[AleDeEurope]

I'm not smart, I'm just beautiful.

[myTake Owner]

what a shame.

[AleDeEurope]

I'm proud of it, though.

[soschris]

I enjoyed reading your post, as an insight to women's perspective, but still it was a little confusing. Lots of women say they enjoy 'meeting friends' as you do, but also 'exploring sexuality.'
So these are two completely different things. Which one is it? Although my point is not that you should be prepared to sleep with ever match you make, especially the ones that are overtly sexually creepy (pics etc.) . I know than women get lots of these types of messages on Tinder.
BUT. Tinder is there mainly to meet local people for the sexually open minded. There are other apps and dating sites for dating, friendship long-term etc. but Tinder's success means that it's infiltrated by people who want something more than Tinder offers and something different than many of its members signed up for.

[Anonymous]

The reason you liked it is 1 your a woman and 2 you were looking for sex.
Guys normally have a much different experience with it. The times that I used it I normally got a message like sorry your not interesting enough to keep talking to or I just got ignored. Girls want clowns or outgoing guys on there. They don't want a shy guy going hello nice to meet you... Also God forbid that a guy not want to have sex and be on there.

[myTake Owner]

I'm sorry you had a terrible experience. It seems kinda rude that you're assuming that I'm a female only looking for hookups or that I wouldn't talk to "shy guys".

I actually went onto tinder with a super open mind and talked to a bunch of different people, not all outgoing or smooth, AND met up with them too so your comment is a bit of a generalisation.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that is nice. Actually I talked with several of my female friends and they mentioned when they use it. They just ignore the normal uninteresting messages cause they get to many of them. It is true that it is a generalization but still women have a huge advantage with online dating just because they are women. Unless the guy is smoking he won't have women messaging him often.

[myTake Owner]

Well that's true to an extent, there are a lot of messages so you can't really reply to all of them, but that doesn't mean that girls are only looking for or talk to the type of guys you mentioned.

[Opinion Owner]

True I should have said messages not guys.

[frozenhorizon]

I don't think you should rely on the "confidence" built by it, because people are judging you on just a few photos and few lines o text. That doesn't REALLY say much about you as a person. That's why I don't like it. Also most girls I've matched with don't put very much effort into having a conversation so most matches don't go very far. I'm glad you had a better time.

[myTake Owner]

as I've said to a few people, my confidence has mainly come from learning how to break out of my comfort zone by talking to more guys, and eventually meeting up with them... i know the initial stages are purely superficial.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah or sometimes you do get a conversation going then they disappear out of the blue

[Lynx122]

I like your mytake ^^. I've never used it. I have enough confidence and I've met people from all over the worl through other ways. I meet people online sometimes but not through dating sites more through common interests or so. But I'll give it a try just to see :D :D

Any advice you could give me? :P

[Kinstrome]

I haven't never met a person using Tinder, because 60-70% of the matches I've ever had were fake accounts.

Tinder was a very good idea, but it was corrupted by the many people who take advantage of the minimal effort it takes to make a profile there.

Also, it doesn't take much thought to conclude that women who aren't ugly have a much easier time than men in getting matches.

[Kinstrome]

derp "haven't never" I either meant have never or haven't ever, not even sure which one now

[EnglishArtsteacher]

Well, you're a woman looking for sex, so Tinder is your dream come true!

For guys looking for sex, Tinder is a brutal experiment, especially since nearly all girls put "No hookups" in their profiles.

[myTake Owner]

I'm not all girls 😫

[EnglishArtsteacher]

Well you're one of the few women I come across who are open to random hookups.

[redeyemindtricks]

Dude you *do* understand why women write that, right? Even if they ARE open to random hookups?

If not, just, like, have a seat and think about it for a sec.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@redeyemindtricks Are you implying they're lying? I don't get it.

I'm sure some of them are open to hookups, but most of them aren't, unless it's some very rich, or famous guy (And in this case, they would use him for his money).

I know women over 30 are more likely to be open to hookups (Probably because they seem to hit their sexual peak between 30-39 years old). However, these 20-something girls I see on Tinder put "No Hookups."

[redeyemindtricks]

Thought experiment: You're a woman. You make a Tinder profile, and write that you ARE open to random hookups.

Mah gawd dude 😂😂 Just imagine the avalanche of contacts you'd get... and the [complete lack of] quality/desirability of the boys you'd get them from.

Should be self explanatory.

__

Besides. If a woman writes "no hookupsssss" on her profile and then hooks up with a boy she meets on there... then, well
• She gets something she was *actually* open to, all along
• He gets to feel like That Special Boy Who Broke The Rules
• If her sexuality is still buried under a pile of guilt and slut-shaming (as is still, unfortunately, the case for many if not most women these days), then, she also gets plausible deniability. "Well, ehhh one thing led to another, and, yeah"

Everyone SO totally wins.

[bloodmountain1990]

Tinder is a crapshoot like most other dating sites. Yes it's more physical attraction based, but people act like tinder is just for sex when that is not the case. Sure people use tinder just for sex, but so do plenty of others on other dating sites. It's not all black and white like that.

[Lman3000]

No Don't bother with tinder I've used it there's always chatbots and you never get any good from using dating spps just quit dating you'll feel so much better when you don't have to look for a girl anymore I know cause I quit and feel so much better for doing it But hey this is just my opinion

[Anonymous]

#1 Has, for the most part, had the opposite effect for men. It's destroyed their confidence and self-esteem.

[Kkaos]

If something as trivial as Tinder destroyed their confidence and self-esteem, then they never had any to begin with. An unattractive person can never look in the mirror and never go outside and convince themselves that their attractive, that's not confidence. An unattractive person who is self aware and doesn't give a fuck what people think, that's confidence.

And honestly with Tinder, it really doesn't matter, you'll be judged based on a few pictures, your entire life doesn't amount to a few pictures, hell, half the girls on there don't even look anything like their pictures in real life. I find real life much easier than Tinder anyway.

[frozenhorizon]

@Kkaos Man you have to admit that everyone cares a little about what other people think of them and if other people find them attractive, I don't care how confident you are

[frozenhorizon]

But yeah I agree you have to remember you'll be judged by a few pictures, it's not an accurate way to measure what people think of you.

[Kkaos]

@frozenhorizon Yeah, I genuinely don't care though. Few reasons, I'm happy with the way I look and am continually getting better (gym). I've had multiple girls whom I found very attractive also be attracted to me in the past. And last, I'm logical about it, not every girl is going to find me attractive, that's obvious. That's what my confidence is based on really. I'll admit if you don't have things like that to work with, it can be difficult. But I'd tell anyone who isn't happy with themselves, they can always improve areas.

[Dude_91]

but as I mentioned above, I've gotten rejected on tinder, so I no longer care if I get rejected in real life. it's taught me that. and I use that rejection to workout even more (even though I'm already in shape). girls stop turning down the nice good guys (even if it is a hookup site).

[VictoriousSausage]

It's not bad, i like it, and i think you're right, i only just started using it, and since i live in a fairly rural area i've struggled to get matches, but nice take, i think you're right.

[zagor]

As someone who never tried it - how do you use it? I don't mean technically, I mean do you sit at home looking for matches? Do you go downtown on Saturday night thumbing through it? Do you arrive in a new town and go out looking?

[BertMacklinFBI]

if you're hot, tinder is for you

if you're not, stick with real life

plain and simple

[Anonymous]

Tinder is only for hookups. If you are not an attractive male or a female looking to hook up and meet guys, you will likely not have a good experience with Tinder. Glad it works for ya

[EnglishArtsteacher]

You can always lie about your income in your bio. This REALLY works for dating sites, except I don't lie lol.

[Opinion Owner]

@EnglishArtsteacher Hmmm, that would be an interesting experiment. I've always figured that 80% of the success for a Tinder profile is the picture, girls are browsing lol, didn't figure they'd read the bios very often.

[myTake Owner]

I read bios. And I don't think I'm particularly attractive. Not ugly, but not HOT. Also I literally do not care about incomes at all.

[Kkaos]

Girls don't need to be attractive to have success on Tinder. If a girl's <7/10, as long as she puts out or shows some cleavage, she'll be all good in most guys eyes. Most guys aren't looking for a relationship, they don't really care how a girl looks. If a guy wants sex, he'll easily lower his standards. Guys only have high standards when it comes to relationships, which is why so many girls who are after relationships dislike Tinder because of all the guys who ghost out when it comes to keeping something going.

Bios are irrelevant, it's hit or miss really. I don't bother, unless I'm travelling in which case I explain that. But show your 'exciting life' in your pictures, have good pictures of yourself, preferably have a good body so you can show that off... That's how you have success on Tinder as a guy. From there girls will be much more open to matching and having a convo with you.

[frozenhorizon]

@EnglishArtsteacher I don't think putting your salary (or fake salary) in your profile will look very attractive except to girls who only want a sugar daddy

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@frozenhorizon Well, a lot of those girls exist.

I won't do it because I'm honest anyway. However, if you sign up at Plentyoffish. com, or Okcupid. com, you'll see the most popular men have a six figure salary in their profile.

[Kkaos]

@EnglishArtsteacher It just looks like you're compensating. It screams insecurity, I. e Myself is not good enough, so I need to attract you with money.

There's nothing more attractive than a guy who has certain bonuses like that, and doesn't feel the need to show them off. That's high value. By meeting a genuine girl who was already attracted to you for you and not because of your salary, she'll be a higher quality girl and when she finds out your salary on her own, without you telling her or showing off, she'll view you as much higher quality as well.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@Kkaos Well, it does work on regular dating websites, and I already did the experiment. Even though beauty is still subjective, I went ahead with two stark contrasts for the experiment.

On I put a photo of an actual male model, and a photo of an overweight average joe (per say) on another profile. The model profile had an income of under $20,000 per year (In my this bio, I claimed to work for a factory making $9.00 per hour), and in the average joe's profile, I claimed to be a Medical Doctor, straight from medical school, making six figures.

Even though the male model still received messages from women, the high income profile had more messages, from more women. Also, the male model still didn't get a message back sometimes; While the average joe had women responding to him.

It wasn't too much of a disparity, but there was a clear difference.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

I went to www.plentyoffish.com

[Kirah]

Of course you don't hate Tinder, you are part of the group which benefits from it ;)

[YoyoyoHomie]

I got laid once from tinder. It took about 30000000000000 swipes, but I still got it in :)

[Cccgala]

Yes, Number 4 is totally guaranteed when you happen to frequently interact with the people there xD

[Westy616]

It has been said... and I agree with it... that Tinder is the place where nice guys go to die haha. There's truth behind it. Tinder is a superficial way to meet people, and it won't ever allow someone to gauge who a person truly is...

[Paulie3000]

I've only had a few dates from tinder and no hookups, I don't know if I'm doing it right but whatever I gotta keep st it