Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

The oldest topic of debate! Who should pay on first date? This is mytake explainig why men should pay on first date.

1) It Makes Your Intentions Clear

Why Guys Should Pay For First Date

You pay for her = You’re interested in her. If those are not your intentions, irrespective of them women will think that way. not all women but many. It doesn’t matter how much costly food was, what kind of food you ate but who pays. If you can’t afford dinner in 5-star hotel, its OK. Coffee dates can be romantic too!

Many will argue that “If he said yes for the date that means he is interested” Not it’s not like that. Many people judge you after you spend some time with them. The first date is “That” time when you get to know each other. Paying for her is clear sign that you’re interested in her.

2) It makes her feel special

Women love chivalry! It can be opening door for them or paying for the date. It also makes you look like a gentleman and leaves a good impression. She’s not just another girl. She might be your next potential partner. You don’t want to ruin that chance, do you?

3) She’s something more than just friend

Dating is not in the same category as friendship. Dating is a selection process based on attraction and a bunch of other factors, such as shared values and common interests. Many say that I treat my partner like my friend and when going out with friends, we split the bill. But there is

difference

between dating someone and befriending them. She’s a special woman, make her feel special.

4) It’s not all about the money

THIS ISN’T ABOUT MONEY. It’s about how you make her feel. The thought that goes into a first date is more important than the money you spend. But it matters who spend it. If you’re broke, why not go for a romantic walk and buy the coffees and cake? Organize a picnic? Why not go to an exhibition or a live music night? Why not go on stargazing date? Women like the attention to detail; find out what she likes.


5) It has nothing to do with sexism

It has nothing to do with feminism or sexism. Paying for the first date does not imply that she’s weak or unable to pay for herself. It just shows that you are interested in her. It is just a chivalrous tradition which makes you a gentleman and hence attractive.

6) Not paying is a risk

It’s a test of character. When she offers to pay for the bill, she is testing you! Whether she is doing it subconsciously or not, she wants to know how you are going to react. Sounds harsh, but it is TRUE. 46 percent of G@G women do judge if you ask them to split the bill. In the real world, Over half (57%) of women claim they offer to help pay, but many women (39%) confessed they hope men would reject their offers to pay, and 44% of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay.

She might be an independent woman, but are you an independent man?

On a first date, she is trying to figure out what kind of guy you are. Are you a provider? Are you reliable? Are you generous? Paying for the bill suggests you are all of these things.

7) After all, It’s just the first date

If you read the title again, it’s just about the first date and not all of them. How much does a dinner cost? Just 20 Dollars. You can earn those 20 dollars even by spending your pass time one G@G. Claim a TGI Friday’s card and use it for your date. This take is all for the first date. If she’s not up for splitting bill after 3 – 4 dates then ask her to split after those dates and if she denies then you know what to do….

If you think why you should make her feel special, the answer is either you're interested or you know women's value is higher in dating market than men's.

PS: If you agree with me, Upvote this take and if you disagree, downvote it. I bet 100 percent Gagers agree with me and I won't receive single downvote!

Note: This is “MyTake” explaining my own opinion. You’re entitled to your opinion, feel free to share it. 😊


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What Girls Said 31

  • I've always appreciated a guy paying for the first date, i think it is chivalrous.
    Plus i like traditional gender roles.

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  • i dont think it matters he can be interested and lose interest whether he pays or not, if i see him and we go out again he's interested.

    same can be said for her, if she pays he knows she's interested. why do women need to be paid for to feel 'special'? when you value an object you pay for it. when you value a person you spend time not money. thats my opinion.

    i think one person paying set up a kind of paternalistic dynamic. its awkward. i dont liker it. plus first date i prefer free things that are not constrained by time nor money.

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  • Couldn't this all be turned around why women should pay?
    How about going Dutch on the first date instead?

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    • I'd argue that it's better if the man did NOT pay for the first date. Or not pay all of it.

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    • @Kiran04 then you're better off without them. In my experience, women who expect this are also the type to expect a lot of material things as well.
      The more men who refuse, the better the dating prospects for men.

      @TripleAce, finally, we agree lol

    • @political_dude, if more men did it, then women would be forced to change their ways.

  • Guys appreciate all the points listed here as well. I think if you reach the end of the date and both people say "I'm paying", it's a pretty good sign for both the girl AND the guy. If one person is completely silent and just "expects" their meal paid for, the other person might seriously get to wondering if he/she wasn't just hanging out for food (that is a thing, apparently). I can also see where it might seem like a sign of indifference if one party immediately said "separate bills" upon conclusion of the meal.
    It's much more relieving to see your partner want to pay as much as you do. So just both say it.
    Once you BOTH make your intentions clear, you can then make plans for one person to pay this time, and the other to pay the next round. Flip a coin if you have to.

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    • (Oh and by the way. ----That also gives you an excellent opportunity to plan/talk about the next date.)

  • I don't get it. I think it's rude if you let one person pay. I wouldn't want to waste money on someone, if you have no idea if it's gonna become serious and so I wouldn't want the guy to waste his money. That way if it doesn't work out no one owes anyone anything. Always split fair and square. Asking someone out on a date is already proof enough of your intentions.

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  • Everyone agrees yey!

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    • Only 5 out of 36 lmao

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    • Maybe people can't downvote opinions...

  • I think this makes some amount of sense, for a first date specifically. It does make it clear that his intentions are romantic and that he's interested. Yes, that's a really helpful thing. But it's tough because I really don't want to have to expect a guy to pay just to know that he's interested. I'm very conflicted on this issue.

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  • Guys shouldn't pay for the first date

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  • 6d

    I don't want him paying for the first date because I will feel bad if I don't have a good time, and lots of men out there think all women are prostuitues who accept dinner as payment for sex. I enjoy sex, and I don't want the first time feel like an obligation.

    If we both have a good time, and a second date happens, whoever made those plans can pay next time.

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  • There is no vote down XD

    These all sounds nice, but i don't ever agree to be paid for
    I find something that one side only pays to be wrong in many ways, its like one side feel sorry for wasting the time, or feel they need to pay for the taken time

    If both enjoy it, then paying for it dose not need to be there really, except maybe if it comes from other way (Like someone takes you to a really expansive place as he is paying for it)
    Only case i do let him pay is when in second date i pay

    I disagree also with where you say that its not sexism, if one side "needs" to pay and the other dose not, based on there sex, that is the definition of sexism
    Its not an insult, but why dose it need to go that way and not the other?

    I mean hell why not just say that the one that needs to pay is the one that earns more, or who ever picks it up first
    Don't think there is any reason that Male or Female needs to be the one to pay just as there of that or that sex

    So like i said if someone insets on it I do agree il see it nice, but they will need to know on the second meeting il make sure that i am paying for it all

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  • Men: women are nothing but gold digging whores!!!

    Also men: only men can pay for dates!!! That is right and good!!!

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    • You can't generalize who population of men, can you?

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    • are you mad that my superior male brain turned over your shitty logic and made you look ridicule? Oh sweety, if only you knew...

    • @OnAColdWinterNight i’m confused as to how you got that I believe that men should pay for women out of my original statement. Maybe that’s just the conclusion one makes when one is too stupid for words.

  • Nice take but i don't like the guy paying all the bills

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  • Are we still on that? Lmao

    Why is it even topic worth discussing? 😂

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  • 7d

    I think, whoever asked the other out should be the one to pay.

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  • 5d

    The idea of someone paying for me is not romantic in the slightest, if I have to i'll try to fight with him to pay at the counter.

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  • I agree

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  • This is a very confusing topic and no one can agree on the same thing lol. But nice take!

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  • I AGREE

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  • I agree 100%! Like you said, it’s not about the money or sexism and it’s just the first date.

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  • Agreed but that doesn't mean the girl should purposely order something pricey, just get something you'll actually enjoy eating

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What Guys Said 64

  • I have always paid for everything ion every date, except if my partner wants to take me out for my birthday. If she brings a female friend along, I pay for the friend's meal, also.

    This is the process of, hopefully, finding a partner for the rest of your life. I am not looking for another friend. I am looking for a partner in romance and love. Every dollar that I spend is an investment in something that has far more value than money.

    When I ask a lady for a date, I don't ask her to "hang out" or "chill." I ask her for a "date." She knows my intentions. I ask her where she would like to go. If it is something that I don;t want to do, I tell her; otherwise, we go where she suggested. I make a reservation for dinner. I try to look my best with my grooming and clothes. I get my car washed. I am not more than 2 minutes early or late to pick her up. When we arrive at the restaurant, we use valet parking.

    She knows that she is being treated like a special lady but, if we progress into a relationship, she will understand that I want to be treated like a special man. I treat her the way that I want her to treat me. I pay for everything because that is what very traditional men do. I hope that she is a very traditional lady.

    At the end of the evening, she does not owe me sex because I paid for the meal. What she owes me is courtesy and respect.

    Many young people will think that I am trying too hard and doing too much to please her, that I am acting "whipped." None of my previous partners would ever call me "whipped," but they would say that I acted like a gentleman and made a very favorable first impression. That doesn't mean that every first date leads to a second date. Sometimes I do no feel the potential, the chemistry, with a lady, and I am honest with her about that. Sometimes she doesn't feel it.

    Whatever happened on the date, at the end of the day, I know that I conducted myself as a gentleman and I am proud of myself. That leads to more self-confidence and THAT is a bog part of what women are looking for.

    Nice myTake!

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    • Thank you :) I wish I could feature your opinion on this take. You're a true gentleman

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    • Never pay for anything and see if they stay around.

  • I think I have posted this 100 times. LOL It never gets old!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71o3hq6iSPM

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    • 6d

      I've watched this video and he makes perfect sense.
      It's all about having respect for the other person and putting in an equal amount of effort to the relationship.
      I didn't have a lot of dinner dates in my younger years, we did fun things we went out dancing instead.
      Later on we'd go on dinner dates one night a guy took me out for dinner and then a few days later we went on a picnic date and I spent the morning getting a picnic lunch ready. But most dates the bill would be split, although I did prefer the picnic dates best.

  • i understand all your points but they are sexist because it displays that only the male is supposed to send these messages. any notion that one sex does one thing in a relationship (beyond those of biological necessity) are sexist in that they are based on established gender roles

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    • yes it is the nice thing to do, yes it can make them feel special, yes it may make intentions clear but why are those all things that men alone are supposed to do?

  • Sorry, this sounds like a bunch of chodey white knight bullshit. I don't care about making my intentions clear, or passing her 'tests'. Men who worry about that are men of low value.

    I pay... If I feel like it. If I like her and I've had a good time, I'll pay. It has nothing to do with how she thinks of me or attempting to be 'chivalrous'. I don't need to prove anything to her.

    And funny how you talk about how it's not sexist from a woman's perspective, how it doesn't mean women are weaker etc. Yet you completely ignore it from the man's perspective. Men - YOU should PAY... Yeah, because that's not sexist at all is it? Making someone pay just because of their gender? Noo... It's just traditional gender roles, right? But what about women's traditional gender roles? Women - YOU should stay at home and do housework! Is that not sexist too you? Or is it only sexist when it concerns women, it's fine to say a man should pay and then judge him and label him as 'cheap' if he doesn't, but how dare we ever judge a woman who doesn't conform to her traditional gender roles.

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  • Every women I've been on a date with and there been quite a bit lol
    The ones that expect a date to be paid are usually the ones that aren't fully there for you

    The girls that didn't expect it, and its obvious. Were my favs because their time that was given to me felt genuine. A fair trade. My time for her time. It felt real
    And our relationships had substance
    The ones that wanted paid dates. Trust me. You'll always be on the hook for something down the line

    Due note: the girls that didn't expect it. Were actually given the best most expensive dates

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  • Yes, guys should pay on the first date, but a first date should never be expensive. Even spending $30 is too much. I'd say keep it under $25. First dates are never a guarantee, so spend accordingly. If she wants to go someplace expensive on the first date then you need to walk away right away. It's not about the money unless one of you makes it about the money, and the choice of venue is the determining factor in that. Don't take her to McDonald's, but you can get a nice dinner at Chill's for around $20 a person. Also, observe closely on how much she spends on alcohol. If she's going for $10 cocktails on your dime when you barely know each other then it's time to bail. If she even hints that she's taking advantage of your kindness then run. Run far and fast. And toss her the golden shovel.

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  • 1) Don't play dumb in most cases you know the guy's intentions.
    2) It's not all about you and you can't be considered special on the first date (plus men like to feel special too)
    3) Same as no. 1 applies
    4) True not all about the money, but it's about the gesture (DISCLAIMER: It's a two way street otherwise why should the guy date you?)
    5) It's about sexism, ONLY whenever it suits women
    6) Paying IS a risk. It's only the first date I hardly know you ! It would make sense to pay later on, instead of risking getting dumped by a girl who wanted a free meal. (Obviously depends on income and cost of restaurant but not everyone has a comfortable living so for them it's a risk)
    7) Exactly it's the first date ! So don't expect too much !

    I must note that I like to play the devil's advocate and I am not against the man (or the woman) paying on the first date, but neither am I against splitting. I think someone should pay ONLY if they feel like it and not feel pressured to do so. If they don't like you just because you didn't pay on the FIRST date then they can fuck off. Also if they accept you paying so easily or show some kind of expectation that you'll pay for me it's a red flag and they're not worth your time.
    You're free to start war against me now. Thank you :P

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    • Only just realised that it was a guy who has posted. Anyways the way I expressed most of my opinions is towards girls in general

  • Technically men are evolved as a provider and if you aren't capable of paying for the date, then that just means you are not ready to mate,
    and bottom line..
    you need to work on yourself, no wonder most relationship end in chaos and broken hearts..

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    • sounds like prostitution

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    • No, basic semantics and analytics, true by virtue of the meaning of the words and concepts used to express it, so that its denial would be a self-contradiction.

    • @Markfish i am too sleepy to understand you words. its 2:20 am here.. bye bye. might answer ya later. . just drop a response so i can have you in list tomorrow

  • No no no no! Her having a vagina and me having a penis does not mean I am the provider in the relationship. If they want free stuff they should go get sugar daddy because I'm poor.

    And what's up with women expecting men to put forth all the *real* in a relationship? I don't care if it's a damn tradition. People who fall traditions are simple-minded ignoramuses.

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  • If she isn't officially your woman then don't pay. There is no risk neither.

    If a woman strongly desires you she isn't going anywhere because you decided not to give her a free dinner.

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  • 7d

    Fuck making her feel special. One of the main reasons why womens dating market value is so much higher than the average guy is because guys do such unnecessary things like this. Thinking women are some rare Jewelry. Its a date its not like you gonna get a girlfriend or anything. you're wasting money on an investment that will have no guarentee and has high risk , you won't even get a return you either get a second date or its all over. A complete waste of money just happened. this has everything to do with i wouldn't say sexism but some form of gender biased. Good lord i hate chivalry with a passion such an out dated custom. I think i should write a mytake on how to teach men not to be simps. By showing them the truth.

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  • It's funny how women will judge you and be turned off if you refuse to pay for their food that they ordered. I've even heard women say that the guy won't be getting a second date if he doesn't pay for her. Just lol. It's the first date and you're both just trying to get to know each other. The guy shouldn't be obligated to pay for some girl who's not even his girlfriend. You might not even see her again. Some women go on dates just to get free food. I say you both pay for whatever you order or split the bill until you're actually in a relationahip.

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    • I upvoted this myTake anyway because I'm nice

    • The rumour is true. I've experienced it as well. I agree a guy shouldn't be obliged to pay but there is more than 50% chance that he won't have second date if he refused to pay.

    • "but there is more than 50% chance that he won't have second date if he refused to pay." that literally makes those women prostitutes

  • If a woman tries to pay on the 1st date (Unless she's the one who asked out) its not going to sit well with me at all and I will let her pay I don't have time for little immature "tests" so if she does that, to me she's showing that she's clearly not a keeper at all. If my intentions are expected to be clear, then hers need to be clear as well. But even before the thought of even asking her out would even come up in my mind , we would have a discussion about dating equality and that discussion will determine if we would go out or not in the first place.

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    • A woman wanting to pay isn't always a test or a false offer, although I suppose it might be more often than not if she says she'll pay rather than just pulling out her money at the end of the meal/activity/whatever.
      I like splitting the bill with my man when I can afford it, and it's never done to "test" him. I do it because I appreciate him and don't think he should always have to foot the bill just because he was born with a penis.

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    • Especially when she knows that's not her intent. Now if its her intent, that's different, but if she's offering just to "test" or something, then I'll let her pay so she can dismiss herself from my life and do us both a huge favor.

    • That's understandable. It shows she's disingenuous.

  • you shouldn't be splashing out and spending money on the 1st date, 2nd or even 3rd.

    don't spend money on women until you get to know them, trust them and they're a serious girlfriend.

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  • If she wants to go Dutch on a date, I'd appreciate her telling me in advance, otherwise I expect to pay, and for more than just dinner, too, by the way (maybe, e. g., a musical performance or a sporting event).

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  • "Sounds harsh, but it is TRUE. 46 percent of G@G women do judge if you ask them to split the bill."

    Well, that is cute.
    But I would judge 100% of them, if they *haven't* asked me to split the bill.

    I guess I expect the person at the other side to try impressing me too.
    Fuck me, right?

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  • I think the asker should pay because I've always seen a date as you 'treating' the other person to drinks/food/movies etc..

    Good Take 👍

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  • All this goes both ways. You are thinking the old fashioned way. How many unsuccessful first dates I've been on that I've paid. 1 date actually paid for me. Feels like gambling, where the odds are rarely on your side. Why am I interested, I pay, and don't get past a second date, which I usually end up paying too... 😑 Both sexes work, both can pay.

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    • I agree. It is gambling but chances of winning increases if you pay

    • 7d

      Then what what's when you find the "right one" does it mean you'll continue to pay for everything after? I personally say first dates both should pay their own. Then if you want to get serious and like the person you pay.

  • “It Makes Your Intentions Clear” What intentions does she expect exactly? Modern women don’t want anything serious, your “intentions” are futile.

    “It makes her feel special” This is more of an attention whoring phenomenon to report the results back to her friends

    “It has nothing to do with sexism” So let me get this straight only paying for the first date is not sexism but everything else I do is. Got it!

    The whole concept of "date" is dead- get over it.

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  • What about him feeling special?

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    • I don't know lol. I already feel special if she works on her looks and looks great on "that" day and it also depends on her behavior. That's a beta thing I know

    • what's a beta thing?

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