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Why I Will No Longer Date the 'Nice Guy' (Page 3)
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I laughed so hard at this.
The problem here is not nice guys. The problem is you, yourself.
"didn't want me to be friends with ex's on Facebook... Then he didn't want me to hangout with any of my male friends,"
The "we're just friends" attitude. I've heard it myself when I was young and naive. Nice try. I could say a lot about you now but it will get me banned. You don't want a nice guy. You want a sucker.
Okay first of all, men and women can 100% be friends. I'm a girl who other women don't like... at first sight. It's been like this my entire life, so yes I hangout with men. My best friend is 64 and gay as the dickens. You're trying to tell me I have some ulterior motive being friends with him?
You have a very unmodern viewpoint here. My past group of friends consisted of 8 dudes, who I hungout with daily for 3 years, who I had slept at their houses, and never ever touched because ew. To this day, when I see their parents, they hug me and invite me to shit. As a girl, when you're not attracted to boys like that, the gross shit men do really fucking stands out. And as a girl who is apart of the dude clan, they have no hold back farting, burping, talking about women and sex.
Obviously you have a strong stance on this, I'm not gonna change your mind, but don't come at me as if I'm a 'certain type of person' for having male friends. You don't know me.
There is no such thing as "just friends" between men and women. This is the most common illusion women have. They are just friends for you but every single one of them wants to shag you. And I don't need to know you. You're a woman in the western world. There is no exception. Put all women in a specific environment and they all behave the same way. Absolutely no exception. Any man who doesn't want to grasp this reality always pays the emotional price. I know I paid it when I was the nice guy. "we're just friends". What a good sucker I was back then, allowing the "just friends" ex-boyfriend to fuck her. That's exactly the reason bad boys exist. We know that there is no difference between the good girl and the skunk I meet in the night club down the street.
Just because this happened to you, which by the way you LET happen to you, does not mean it applies to everyone. Half the dudes in my group were player assholes who, if they wanted to sleep with me, would have tried. 100% . And didn't, because they respected me and our friendship.
I'm sorry you laid sideline while someone you were into slept with other people. But again, your situation does not apply to everyone.
That's true. My situation doesn't apply to everyone because there are men out there smart enough to prevent this from happening. I learned it the hard way but fortunately I did learn in the end. We all want to believe that there is this loving woman out there, ready to commit and be faithful but this is just a fantasy. If you don't get rid of the fantasy, you're screwed. Unless you'll go to find a woman in a place where the toxic western sub-culture is not present, like Eastern Europe or the Mideast. This is not just my personal opinion. Even dating experts say it.
I am honestly sorry you feel that way. I disagree, I believe that not everyone is as bad as it seems. Most people are good people. May have been heartbroken a time or two and become who they are now because of it, but the right person will break down that persona in everyone.
'Dating experts' are also the people that turn people into what they are today. Scroll through Facebook, there's at least 20 ads from "thebolde" which tells women to play hard to get, they deserve prince charming, dating multiple people is okay, etc. Dating experts are bullshit people who make the younger more influenceable generation worse and worse.
So, does it mean that guys in relationship cannot have female friends either? And the girls who let their boyfriends have female friends are 'suckers'?
This labeling can go on and on untill dawn of the future. The bottom line is you have an apparent character that spells a slut to a man by being so open to other males. The stronger and more understanding a man is , the more he can put himself out there to be on his best behavior. But , when imencesed with issues of concern , can turn around and be firm , straight forward , blunt and straight to the point... where you want to label him asshole. All because you were the immature and insecure person. Then again , relationships really aren't for restless or free spirited people.
Unfortunately, you can't really tell if someone's a "nice" guy until you get to know them. Sorry to hear you went through all this, but if nothing else you'll be able to see the red flags before they escalate.
get yo friends back in PROMINENT positions in your life. they are your smoke alarms. they'll sense danger when you don't.
when you date again, don't blow them off to see more of him. when things get more serious, slowly bring him around your friends and family. confide in them and don't hide his BS to make him look good.
anyone who hates your friends and family can gtfo.
SO TRUE! The only problem is, girls never like me lol. And most guys have problems with girls having guy friends.
Why did you stick around for all the BS drama of those guys? I might have had some sympathy for you, but you made it worse by letting them pile bullshit upon bullshit on you.
Before I start seeing girls they are warned, that I don't put up with drama, and the first time they try it they are gone.
Not asking for sympathy, I don't want or need it. This take is meant for ladies, mostly. We all hear from relatives, married friends, anyone who wants us to settle down basically, "you need to meet a nice boy to settle down with". The fact of the matter is, most nice guys are just as bad as the assholes, if not worse. My story is showing them that.
And yes I'm aware I put up with more bullshit than I should have. The first guy, we were engaged, its hard to walk away from that. The second guy, I believed his bullshit because everyone I know, knew his as a nice guy and we believed him to be genuine. Which he was not.
Most nice guys, are just really bitter assholes.
Sounds like these guys were self-proclaimed nice guys. And generally when a person self-proclaims to be anything, not just nice, they generally aren’t.
For example, this one girl I knew would keep telling me how “everyone around here is so fake but she’s so legit” and how she “doesn’t bullshit”. Needless to say she was one of the fakest people I’ve met and probably one of the biggest bullshitters I, And others, have met.
I'm a genuine "nice guy" and I can tell you right now both those men were absolutely not "nice guys". The first guy was a control freak (which initially turns some women on) and the second was just extremely manipulative.
You should seriously reconsider how you titled this take. I was actually relieved when I read the actual content of it though...
I'm not done with nice guys necessarily, I literally don't know how to change the take or the title lol. I'm just done believing people are who they say they are, and I'm going to view every possible suitor as an asshole. Not treat them as such, but if I view you as an asshole, stupid stuff I say, "well he must be genuine, he's a nice guy" won't happen. If o view you as an asshole, I'll be able to detect bullshit so much faster. That's what I meant in the title, was mot portrayed that way lol.
Your experiences totally do NOT reflect real nice guys. Both those guys put on facades and do it well. Even assholes are good at playing nice when it benefits them.
No guy is ever going to be 100% nice. But the genuine ones do care about your well being as long as you didn't fuck them over too hard.
I thought you were going to go off on something about guys being too beta, overly sensitive, boring, push over, etc...
Yes nice guys KNOW we have this problem. I've had to learn to create boundaries and toughen up at times. But that's a completely different dynamic. Has to with upbringing, feminist brainwashing and society. But that's a completely different topic.
so they were Bad Guys, pretending to be Good Guys; as a nice guy you would tell a woman, that he isn't ready for a relationship, before he sleeps with you and not after; so.. clearly.. he was not a nice guy.. just a bad guy pretending to be a "more nice version"
Absolutely. But how do you filter through who is and isn't a hidden asshole?
ohh, that is nearly impossible; you need to think and you need to be strong, you need to force him to have a conversation with you about the future; you will be the biggest source of his pain.. but its necessary for both of you to know where it leads and what the future can be. So ask him about his future plans.. and what he is searching for.. or willing to do (for the loved once) ; i think that is the only real way to find out; but just to make sure, that you understand the sideeffects of this procedure..; i think.. many guys will feel super super uncomfortable about it.. and try to avoid answering it.. and when they dont give you an answer or avoid or.. get pissed.. yeah i think he will get pissed maybe... ; then you see that he is not ready for a relationship..; its all hypothetical, i am not an expert.. but i think very scientific; i can't imagine other ways.., its also possible.. that those guys were confused or insecure.. about what they want (ed)
Don't date nice guys, but don't complain after getting pumped and dumped by assholes.
Also, don't try to trap a nice guy after riding cock carousel because you're looks will fade away.
Um? I've slept with 3 men in my 26 years on this planet. So cock carousel, not so much thanks
Typical woman not realizing what a good guy is. You are just falling for the assholes and not realizing. And the guys you think are assholes are probably nice guys who fight with you when you treat them like crap.
? At what point in this mytake does that apply? When I say asshole, I mean the guy who puts me in the hospital for being home late from work. I mean the guy who cheats. I mean the guy who manipulates and controls you. ASSHOLES.
Both men in this mytake seemed nice. Had not only me, but my entire family fooled.
Treat them like crap? I'm not that guy, I'm just not. The fights I had with the first, were always literally about me working, me wanting a few hours alone, me putting my family first, me putting my finances aka job first. None of this results me in treating them like crap.
Dang thats crazy. Yea my boyfriend isn't as nice as i hoped with the tone he talks in on occasion when we’re arguing, but i keep his ass in check, so he's “nice enough” lol
I didn't read the whole thing but the first part is a good example of a control freak. They start out nice or they are nice in the beginning, bit little by little without you even realizing it they slowly begin to control everything. Before you know it you're 3 years in and chained in the basement with the dog.
Look guys, girls will make up any excuse, make up any story to make it look like good men are just awful.
The truth is... you know the truth. They have always been attracted to the scumbags. Ever since elementary school and we all know it.
Now they're being called out for breeding with trash and making more trash, so they're doing all they can to tear down the image of the good man... because we expose what terrible human beings they are.
My nigga you ain't lying!
So, what is your point? You're going to only date men who will beat the shit out of you and turn you into just one of a whole stable of cheap whores?
That seems to be your conclusion--there are only two kinds of men in the world, those who flagrantly abuse and those who covertly abuse.
Okay, whatever floats your boat.
I can't figure out how edit the take, but basically I've said I'm not going to stop dating, I'm just going to stop seeing guys how they want to be seen. I'll view them as assholes and adjust my behavior accordingly. It's easy to see when an asshole is full of shit, harder to tell when a seemingly good guy is full of shit because they seem genuine.
well I can't say anything really I mean that could be me, at least me in the past I had some issues back then and hurt a girl who really had it in her. I mean possible waifu material but I needed some time and it's good that it ended.
been 5 years I can still see myself in the list you'dd call "nice guy" but without the issues later on. I am not asking for approval of it I just like to put my salt in every place possible
You did not date two nice guys.
Those two men were psychiatric cases.
I was and remain a decent man, but I gave up on women years ago. Partly because the sort of thought process that you exhibit are stereotypically female.
Their thought process is unbearable... its just psychotic honestly.
I kind of agree with ManOnFire. You seem to let the second guy mess with you. Yeah he was indecisive about emotions and all but instead of closing up you keep letting him back in.
But as a general rule most “nice guys” aren’t really nice people. Generally
Lol so basically don't judge a book by it's cover. Ok got it!
I was played almost too by a few nice guys. Well he seemed nice like was a gentlemen on the outside at least. Had manners and was polite... then as I got to know him he'd take little jabs at me to break me down. Boy was I NOT expecting that. I didn't expect sweet nothings either just thought neutrality
Tbh i feel like you are just trying yo stereotype people too much in different groups. I hate when people get surprised I do something when they didn't think i would.
Just be a bit more open minded no one is perfect , don't be surprised by everything and treat everyone the same.
That's the plan!
Seems if he was selfish, then he wasn't truly nice. You have the right to date men that you feel like having a relationship with. It's your right to choose them but it's their right not to choose you too.