Hi, here to upset the internet again. Also, I’m going to double-upset the internet by not allowing anonymous answers, since I’d like to hear from people who have at least one ball between their legs.
Before anyone says it, by the way, I’m not a man-hating feminist. I’m not even a feminist by definition. I just call people out on their bullshit, male and female alike. Don’t worry, I’ll make one on gold-digging whores just for you guys.
This article, however, is about the general consensus that it is necessary for a man to have a surplus of wealth and status in order to attract women. Now, what always confused me about this notion is the overall lack of outside perspective. What I mean by that, is the inability to look at regular fucking couples with average lives and incomes. The internet seems to love pretending these people don’t exist because it doesn’t fit their victimized narratives. It’s so much easier to say: “Well, I’m not a millionaire celebrity, of course women don’t want me," than it is to accept personal responsibility of any kind. Such as, I don't know, talking shit about women like they're subhumans?
Sorry, Chuck, but it’s more than likely that you’re unoriginal or even annoying to be around. Hell, it could be that you smell like a nursing-home for all I can tell. But, I can say, it is more likely that you remind someone of a late Elvis Presley, causing them P-T-S-D due to super-fandom than it is due to you not being a millionaire.
It’s even less likely you simply don’t make enough money period, unless you literally don’t work or have no foreseeable future. Because … that’s right … most women (who aren’t on sugar-baby websites) aren’t looking for a guy with a lot of bank to buy them Gucci. They’re looking for a guy who they can have a STABLE future with. An EQUAL PARTNER.
In men's defense though, women don't always help their own cause. When you see "strong, independent feminist" women, who "don't need no man," complaining about how their dates weren't paid for or how their man never buys them gifts on non-gift-giving holidays ... it's not hard to see where some men get confused or even frustrated. I don't fault them for this, and the plethora of spoiled women online can taint your perception of women in the real world. As well, there's no denying the issue of divorces and custody battles often going in the favour of women, and while this is a separate issue, I understand issues like these can seemingly infer others. This doesn't imply, however, that all women are money-hungry whores.
This doesn’t imply however that you must have the funds to support the both of you like we’re living in the 1940’s. Provided you live in either Western (influenced) or diverse/open/whatever-preferred-term country, most adult women will either have jobs or careers, or will be in school/educated in order to obtain a career. This means most female prospective suitors are likely to have some level of personal independence outside of YOU.
What most reasonable women are looking for is a partner they can have a stable, independent life with. This typically intends enough money for food, shelter, bills, utilities, and what have you. Does this mean all women are materialistic, gold digging whores? No. It means they’re practical adults who are thinking about the longevity of your future and relationship.
Let’s be serious here: most average guys couldn’t live with a Gucci-hungry gold digger for long, right? So, is it totally unreasonable for a woman to not want to be with a guy without a job or any personal ambition? Those two things can be clear indicators of serious red flags, and these red flags are arguably similar in nature.
Mind you, you may be unemployed by no choice of your own, but how you choose to cope with this issue and where this places you in the potential future is still going to be considered. It doesn’t make a woman a materialistic, evil whore. It makes her a perfectly rational person.
Contrary to Nora Roberts novels, we don’t live in a fantasy-romance world. The people who preach love has nothing to do with physical or social attraction as well as suitability are feeding you fairy-tale bullshit that simply isn’t true. You can love someone to the bone, but if one person cannot pull their weight and act as a social, emotional, physical, or borderline financial equal, the relationship will collapse on its ass.
Does this imply there aren’t women who are gold diggers? No. Of course there’s gold diggers, and they are shitty human beings you shouldn’t aspire to be in a relationship with. Does this imply there aren’t women who DO value men who will act according to traditional gender rolls and take care of her financially? No. Women like this also exist. Does this imply that if a woman had a choice between a guy who worked at McDonald’s to a guy who worked as a CEO that she wouldn’t be swayed by his status at all? No. At the end of the day, anybody with a critical mind is going to weight their options with some sort of subjective outlook, considering what status implies in comparison, while other elements such as emotional and physical attraction also come into play.
However, even having said all of this, none of this implies there aren’t women who don’t value ANY of this at all, and who strictly search for emotional love. They may be diamonds in the rough, but they exist.
It’s not inherently wrong to consider someone’s status PERIOD, as it can be a good indicator as to what kind of person they are and what kind of future you’ll have together. This doesn’t mean we don’t have wiggle room – what matters the most is the future, not necessarily the present, and I can attest to this.
When I met my now fiancé, he was in school, working two-to-three days a week. I was a full-time, educated woman who made more money than he did. However, he was working towards his future, very hard in fact, and was otherwise everything I wanted in a man. His lack of money or social status didn’t deter me because I could clearly see he was a great guy who wasn't just slumped on the couch, victimizing himself.
So, no, chances are, women aren’t rejecting you because you don’t have fat stacks of cash. While it is reasonable to say based on my opinions expressed here that funds and status play SOME part in long-term relationships, they are by no means the primary deciding factor when it comes to you being rejected. At the end of the day, if someone sees a future with you, they’ll take the risks with you, even if you don’t have it all right now. But if you sit on your ass, bleeding tax-payers dollars to fund your WoW addiction … don’t expect pussy to be banging down the door of your mom’s basement.
If you disagree with me, that’s fine. I don’t give a shit in truth, sound off below. Call me a dirty-chicken fucker or just express how you feel on the subject.
~ Love Jane.