How to respond to a woman's "Change of plans" shit test (Page 2)
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Guy: where do you want to meet
Lass: I don't know
G: let's go here
L: let me check out the menu a sec, I'm mostly good with food but it's always good to know
G: let's go Friday
L: I can't make that day, would the Saturday a week later be good?
Now in this situation would I be classes as playing games? Before the pandemic I spent every other Saturday with friends, Sunday with family and Friday I like to relax after a week of work
Its not games. Its shit testing a man. she's not doing it on purpose. its biological. She wants to know if a man will stand up for what he wants. If not. He means he won't stand up to her or FOR her. Its biological instinct of protection. Women dont even realize they do these things.
Its also relationship power dynamic based. Will a man step up and lead? If not its a turn off. A woman wants to be ROMANCED not oggled.
"Otherwise you are beautiful and it's good to hear from you."
Jesus Christ man, how can you be so right in everything else you say, then drop to your knees like a puss bag to French her ass like that?
As jaded as I am I am somewhat of a helpless romantic. Always will be. My charming nature I guess. "I can't date you because you are a crazy bitch. But other than that... you are so gorgeous!"
Fine, you do you. But don't taint the otherwise excellent advice you're giving people, with that utter nonsense.
The thing you're omitting is that women who do have the mental age of about 12. They're generally not worth bothering with if you want a real relationship.
Any kind of dilly dallying or indication of non-committal, lack of interest. I would nip that in bud right away!
I agree with most points you made. The only thing I don't understand is why date a woman who doesn't respect you? By the way, this advice also work for flaky men.
First, I agree with everything you said. Second, all women will shit test at some point. Most women do this without even realizing it. So to answer your question, you put up with a certain degree of "games" or "odd behavior" because that is simply the nature of women. I personally think it is not necessarily bad all the time. It is likely a biological reproductive function to seek a man who has the highest state of emotional strength. Third, it does apply to men. But it is specific to women because men do not "shit test" women. If they are flaky it is because of either lack of interest, uncertainty about the relationship, or consideration of multiple women. While women may shit test for the same reasons, they specifically may play certain games for ego or for security. So specifically, a woman may try to make a guy jealous because she wants to test how much a guy likes her. In these kind of scenarios, a woman clearly has an interest in the guy. She is doing it to gage how a guy will react to the situation. The same thing with a woman being flaky. Or agree to go out on a date then calling again to reschedule. She has no idea what she is doing sometimes. But she is doing it to ascertain what her value is to the guy.
If a guy responds to her request to change a date without any resistance and shows he has an available and wide open schedule at her beck and call... she feels that the man has placed her in high value. This is BAD because it lowers her attraction to him. What creates more attraction for a woman is a man who has scarcity. Scarcity creates value. So if she calls up a second guy and asks to reschedule the date, and the second guy tells her, "I don't commit to maybe or probably. Let's reschedule. How about you call me back when you are free." Then the woman is going to be pissed off because she was expecting the guy to just leave that date open but now he has demonstrated a scarcity in availability. She is mad at him because he comes across as a dick who isn't willing to be flexible for her.. but... she now has a higher attraction to him because he has shown strength, scarcity, and backbone. She feels that she isn't the center of attention in his life and is competing for his time. This also creates value because she doesn't feel on a pedestal. She thinks "This guy is such a dick! Why can't he just be flexible and leave the time open?" in reality, she knows that she can't take the guy for granted. She views him with respect. So she tells the guy, "No no! Don't cancel! Nevermind. I can be there. I will be there for sure." It forces her to reevaluate his value in her life and respect him.
I don't do shit test. This sounds like someone parnoid. I had a guy ask me out to eat and then ask me what I want to eat. I told him BURGERS! lol I guess I am really simple person.
I don't want someone who give out a freakin test and vise versa. He thought I would leave him like other girls and I did. I just wanted something more and he could only give me 1/3 of himself.
Or, you could stop with all the fucking head games all together and be a man instead of playing that posturing crap. If you are a man, you don't habe to change your behavior to make others perceive you as a man... they already know it. And, if you aren't, you can pretend all you like but you'll never be a man.
Even if you are a man. Women will shit test you anyway. Its their nature to test guys.
Ok... if you're a man, that won't be a problem. You'll deal with it and move on.
I absolutely agree @Steve37. It is absolutely the best thing a man can do when he remains himself. People take the dating the wrong way sometimes. If you are a man and have dated before, you know who you are and the kind of women you like.
There is no point to get fixated on getting some girl/ woman who might not be right for you. The girls who are right for you, will most likely tick all the boxes because you are the kind of man she wants. If not, she just ain't your kind.
Women are not as complicated as we make them to be.
If a guy is really young and has no experience, sometimes it is best for him to experience the confusion to discover himself rather than be fixated on the idea that I must get a particular girl without even knowing himself.
Once you have had experience with a few girls and know the kind of guy you are, you just know the head game isn't necessary. Because you know the kind of woman for you.
I'm not sure what you mean, he's literally talking about dealing with it and moving on rather than changing his behaviour for her, which is exactly what he'd be doing if he were to allow her to dictate everything.
If you are a man that knows your self, you don't have to worry about dealing with it. You will already know how to deal with your kind of woman naturally. And your kind of woman will recognise you too. There is no magic manual on how to deal with women. And you can not deal with all women either. Once you know who you are, you know which kind of woman to pursue and which one to let go.
Any one who still chases every single woman they find attractive, doesn't really know themselves and most likely doesn't know his type.
@Smoothing
Neither of your responses make sense in reaction to the OP. The guy is literally telling guys not to chase after every woman they meet, to learn how to say "no" and assert themselves.
Also, you're both talking about how if a man knows himself he'll automatically know how to deal with it - many men today are clueless. Especially guys here. Many of them have been taught not to act like men pretty much, they've been taught to bend over backwards to please women, and they struggle as a result. They're the ones who need this advice.
@Barabaric. You are missing the point here because as much as OP is an advice to clueless men which is kind of good, the point we are trying to make is that experience is the best teacher and also self discovery comes through experience.
There is not one way to deal with situations that women present. And it is never that big of a mind game.
Any man can only do themselves a favour by knowing who they are. Know thyself and many things in this world will not be as difficult as they seem
@Steve37 I was thinking the same thing. But that goes for women playing stupid games too.
I can admit when I was younger I felt like I was never girlfriend material. So someone told me to read the book The Rules. It's a book about not showing you like him too much. If he ask for a date on short notice say you're busy so he doesn't think you're just waiting around for him.
I threw the book in the trash. There was no way I was gonna be fake like that.
I didn't have to play those games to finally meet someone who saw my value just being myself.
I think people need to stop playing games and be true to who they are. If a woman is a game player then she's not the one. I can't be the only woman out there that doesn't play games.
If you think they are playing games just don't give them the time of day. Maybe then they'll see that they need to stop the bs.
Spot on @PinkMachae
Just move on. No point in thinking it over. She'll get old and wrinkly one day.
Every year that passes her value goes down, while there's a younger hotter girl that hits the market every day.
Or just focus on yourself. Shit, spend that money on you!
What a load of shit.
Women are humans, just like men. Sometimes shit happens and plans have to change.
This is a textbook example of toxic masculinity.
I call for any women facing this to dump their selfish asses and don't let them behave like that and be rewarded for it.
Not really. My old girlfriend would just get pissed when I blew her off like that. 😂
Good. YOu are a man of strength! YOu shouldn't have to put up with that.
It really irritates me when people play these dumb games.
The only way to respond to any shit test is to do what you want anyway. If she pulls that I don't know crap when choosing where to eat go where you want to go, if she complains well she can just not eat then
Why are we looking at only the man's side to this game. When many men will accept the answers just because they are nice guys. If we have to be this aggressive are men really at fault when today's accepted social dynamic is for the men to be on the receiving of this sllowing us to say "maybe or sure" or have we not flipped that much yet.
I totally agree. When she starts the "where do you want to go"?"I don't want to go there", bullshit -- put the brakes on it, hard.
This is the equivalent of women saying "thingy", it means they are "outsourcing" they are thinking, which is lazy.
@Apope16 Woman who does "change of plans" shit test is a complete coward.
So all women are cowards
@Apope16 I only date a woman who doesn't play mind games. A woman who does "change of plans" are playing one type of mind game.
All women will at some point play mind games with you.
@Apope16 This is why dating ultimately fails.
"A woman has respect and intense attraction to a man who's word is his bond. He means what he says. His actions are congruent with his words."
YES! Which is also why a lot of guys lose us... 100% right on
Personally, I don't respond to shit tests. It's fucking childish. I have too much going on, and I'm not going to deal with a woman who plays these games. You can either be an adult or stay out of my way. It's that simple.
All women shit test. There is no magical woman who doesn't do shit tests at some point in a relationship. YOu either learn how to navigate it or be alone forever.
You said:
YOu either learn how to navigate it or be alone forever.
Answer:
Loser mentality. Not all women do that. The last girl I was with didn't do that. If you have that "all women" mentality, you will lose.
Unfortunately, these won't be the only shit tests she will try. There are many others, and a real bitch will try every one of them. More then one is an excellent reason to dump her, fast.
This is why you talk to her about what kinds of food you like BEFORE you try to decide where to go. Then you won't have to employ any of that pick-up-artist psychological hocus-pocus crap to begin with.
Its not about choosing food. You are only focusing on one example. A woman shit tests guys all the time. Calling it what it is doesn't mean uts a pickup artist tactic in advising how to respond. The proper response is to stand up for yourself and make it clear your time is valuable. Make it clear you are not to be taken for granted. And never ever agree to a probably date. Its a guarantee you will get stood up.
Its a fuckin pickup artist tactic.
Any formulaic shit that involves mind games like this and pseudo-intellectual crap about female psychology is classic pickup artist talk.
Yes, it is about choosing food. That's the whole point of a date.. deciding where to go.
You're just more concerned with looking masculine than actually having a good time. You're a try-hard. That's it.
Guy: Where do you want to eat?
Girl: I don't know?
Guy: Okay your eating my ass tonight
Girl: Okay 😋
You aren't the prize. You just need to set thing right and to show her your red lines while a girl provokes you. And she will, this one of things that is sure.