As an ugly, shy, social phobic, socially awkward guy I cannot help but ponder the idea that I will be alone for a LONG time.
I realize that I'm ugly due to several spiteful statements from my former classmates. I've been called ugly, retard, and pizza face (I have a terrible skin condition). I realize I do sound bitter, and, quite frankly, I am. I'm angry over the fact that people my age can be so shallow that they automatically reject me just because I am different. I'm ugly, quirky, weird but I'm still a f***ing person. Wouldn't you be bitter if you haven't had a friend since 7th grade?
And here I stand, age 19 still haven't gone on a date, still haven't been kissed, still have my virginity (Which I do not consider precious. In fact I've contemplated paying off a hooker for a long time), and I'm slipping deeper and deeper into misanthropy. I want to like people, I really do, but they have to accept me first because I accept them! I'm nice, cooperative, and amiable when given the chance to voice my opinion (which is rare, I lack the assertiveness to speak up most of the time).
I know this question just reeks of self pity...because that's exactly what I'm doing. Typically I bottle up my feelings and just don't let my pessimism affect me. Lately, however, my loneliness has triggered a series of pity party antics on my own part which I am NOT proud of.
I WANT to have confidence, I WANT to be assertive. I'd love to fall in love with the girl of my dreams.
At this point, sex is not a necessity. I'd be MORE THAN satisfied with just your basic snuggle sessions, etc. I yearn to feel the warmth of a girl's figure against mine while cuddling up together under the sheets watching a movie. Sigh...I'm a helpless romantic. =/
And if you are wondering what I look like, well I'd rather not supply a picture. Just imagine a fat, acne infested, gross looking, greasy, long haired guy. There. Satisfied? Lol.
Most Helpful Guy
Duder, the other guys here have really said it all already, but I'm just going to add my 2 cents anyway.
You sound so much like me before college that it's not even funny (well, except for the fact that I was always insanely skinny). I'm not going to pretend that I'm perfect now - hell, I still have a lot of problems with girls - but I'm a lot better off than I was when I was in your shoes:
I've had 5 serious girlfriends, lived together with 2 of them (not at the same time ;)), I've had a respectable amount of shorter-term female company and have a lot of friends. How did I do it? Here's a very simple 2-step guide:
1. Accept the things you can't change.
2. Change the things you can.
Easier said than done, I know. But here's how you do it. First of all, accept that life's not fair. The hot guys will have an easier time picking up girls for most, if not all, of your life. Accept that you won't become Casanova overnight and that no matter how unfair it is, that's not going to change.
Now, once you've done that, picture how you'd like yourself to be - how YOU'd find yourself more attractive - and then strive to achieve that. You'd be amazed at how much difference good hygiene, a good wardrobe and some exercise will do. Oh, and do get on the exercise - if I could go back in time and give my pre-college self one piece of advice (and not a Sports Almanac) that would probably be it. Here's a few steps I'd advise you to take, in that order:
*Invest time and money (that you'll save by not going to hookers) in getting quality care for your skin - it seems to really be bothering you. It might not make your skin as smooth as a baby's bottom, but every bit helps.
*On a free day, after you step out of the shower, go to a perfume-store and pick yourself up some great aftershave. Smelling good goes a long way.
*Experiment with your hair. You don't NEED to cut it short (though I personally did), but make sure it fits both your face and your style. These days, whenever I feel unattractive, I have a haircut - it never ceases to make me feel better.
*Prepare to splurge on clothes. Go shopping with someone else, preferably a girl of your age, or else get the person in the store to help you. They'll get you to try out stuff you'd never dream of getting to yourself and you'll be amazed at the compliments you'll get.
*Get yourself a gym-membership and a training-schedule. Stick to it. Make sure you work both on losing weight and building muscle.
*Kick anyone who is bringing you down out of your life and remember that high school is hell and that in college and in "the real world" you'll find far more kindred spirits.
*Find a creative outlet for your helpless romantic ways. Not only will it make you feel a lot better, it'll make you a lot more attractive too.
Dude, I have so much left to say and almost no characters left. Poke me if you like, but believe me - things will be okay, they'll just need some work. If you're up for it, I'm not worried :).5