It's been 3 months and we're still not boyfriend and girlfriend...should I just break up?

[Anonymous]

He said he wanted to take things slow, no rushing things. I was totally OK with that and found it refreshing that for once we didn't have to rush things. So basically, he said we are dating and were together, like I'm his girl and everything...but we just don't have the boyfriend girlfriend label (yet?). I asked him a month ago why we weren't yet. I said I wasn't trying to rush things and I wasn't trying to make him do anything he didn't want to do but I was just curious to know. He ended up saying now's not the time to make it "official". He also added "why put a label on something? Nothings gonna change".

Yes we've had sex if your wondering...

idk how much I can stick around. It embarrassing telling my friends yes its still the same no were not boyfriend girlfriend yet. They know we've had sex to. I know he cares for me, we talk every single day and share our feelings so its not a FWB relationship.

Guys please help!

[Ephram]

I think it's safe to say he's your boyfriend, even if he doesn't want to put labels on it. He is being silly and immature. Let's say you both go out somewhere, and someone asks you if he's your boyfriend. If you say yes, and your boyfriend makes a fuss about it and goes "no I'm not", then he is being REALLY stupid, and you ought to slap the hell out of him for saying something so retarded as that. Because if you're not his girlfriend, then just what the hell are you? You know?

You don't really have to sit with him and discuss this, or anything. But the next time someone asks you who he is, or you're talking about him to someone, feel free to use the word "boyfriend". If he's willing to break off with you because of something silly like this, then he seriously wasn't worth it, and didn't care about you all that much.

So my answer is no, you shouldn't just break up with him. Just don't make a big deal out of it, and tell yourself and others that he's your boyfriend, and you're his girlfriend. Just don't make it like a personal GOAL to tell EVERYONE that you two are boyfriend/girlfriend (like some girls like to do), because that is EXTREMELY annoying for guys. -__- Just mention it if it gets brought up, and take note of his reaction when he hears you saying it to someone for the first time.

[toulouse]

I So agree with you ^ Labels - I sew over al the labels on cloths cause I is annoying to walk around being defined by someone else's definition. lol... Same concept for me,w/ relationships.....

:-)

[themastaplan]

it basically sounds like you guys are dating...the only thing I'm a little worried about is him not wanting to put a label on it...

it makes me feel like there could be someone else? (this is my outside opinion - not knowing much about either of you)

i mean after 3 months of basically being boyfriend/girlfriend why not make it official...to me it sounds like there's someone he doesn't want to know that he's taken, but that's just me

i wouldn't say BREAK IT OFF because you obviously care about him and love him, that wouldn't do either of you any good...if he's scared to make comittment in id say another month id tell him what you want from him and why he doesn't want to comitt and make it official...i mean 4 months of being "bf/gf" but with no label is just weird...

do you see what I'm saying tho? about him not wanting someone to know he's dating you...i mean its been 3 months - sit down and tell him how you feel and that you really like him and you want him to be your bf...this shouldnt be a suprise to him and he should accept that you are his girlfriend and he is your bf...

GL

[ArizonaRX]

This guy is playing you like a friend with benefits. Who cares if you talk everyday and share feelings. That doesn't make it NOT a friends with benefits relationship.

If you officially both labeled each other "Boyfriend and Girlfriend" then that shows serious commitment to each other. Him saying, "Now's not the time to make it official" is essentially saying, "I"m not ready to commit to you." Which means that you are "friends with benefits".

I can tell you 110% if he were to find someone else right now and get with that person and you found out and got upset, he'd say, "Hey, we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend so what's the big deal."

I say cut off the sex from this guy and see how he reacts. Either he'll sh*t or get off the pot.

[Asker]

Yea I'm beginning to see that now...thanks for your answer I appreciate it

[angbrennil]

I agree. He is obviously hiding the fact that he is in a relationship for some reason which usually means that you are not his girlfriend.

Seeing each other just means he is getting the benefits more than most would. You have the power to make him deal with the situation. No sex until he can give you an actual answer and no bulls*&t. Oh and "...now's not the time..." is not an answer it is a blow off.

[Serotriptomine]

Unfortunately. I believe he's just telling you what you want to hear.

And f***ing you.

The end.

[Asker]

Yea that's what I figured...thanks for the honesty