Feel weird approaching girls?

For starters, I'm a very shy man. I've been told I'm attractive a lot, not to sound arrogant, but to give some background into my situation.
Secondly, this problem is not really a problem of nervousness, but of how I view it. Approaching a woman is not necessarily uncomfortable, and I'm not afraid of rejection. People are almost always nice. I mean, I have done it before, and have always gotten a number and a date at least... I just find the act weird, and don't see how it is ever done routinely in people's lives. This makes me think twice about doing it. What the hell do I say? It seems so ordinary to me, and so abnormal. I frankly don't see how anyone does it, if they even do. I know this may be strange of me to think this. I also hesitate to make new friends because of it, as in I expect people to start things with me. Honestly, all of this applies to conversations and expressing myself in general.

I also feel like in today's society it's starting to be politically incorrect to approach women too. But this is strange, given I don't expect women to blatantly and obviously approach me anytime soon. Part of it is in how we view it as a type of male oppression in which a woman feels hassled all the time. I do understand this, but I still would like to talk to girls I'm interested in. Obviously the human species need relationships, romantic and other.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You're over-thinking it and thus making it more difficult that it is in your head.


What Guys Said 2

  • To me, the concept of dating itself is shit, because people are just trying to impress their date, and hide their true personalities/flaws. Dating is so superficial.

    Getting to know someone as a friend is much better and more reliable but unfortunately that only ends up one if them in the dreaded friendzone.

    • This is very true. Sensitivity and openness is very valued, but not sexually attractive This is a problem and I never get why girls say they want these traits but then get turned off by them.

      I remember I girl I really liked who I was in a short fling with, but she broke it off. We became friends and I felt more comfortable opening up. When I asked why she did it, she said for that very reason, so I could open up. But that was my biggest mistake, because dating was absolutely off the table by then. She claimed she had her own personal reasons, but I'm skeptical.

    • Understandable. Dating is such a skewed process, but people just can't get this into their heads.

  • Yeah I got you bro, I was like that aswell just 5 years ago, my friends always used to tell me that I am good looking guy and have attractive body. There were also a lot of girls in my school who used to stare at me and interested in me, but I was shy as f*ck and I couldn't make the first move, I was also thinking like ''making the first move is dishonorable'' ( I know its funny but I thought this many times lol ) so I didn't approach any girl, but the thing was they never approached me aswell, they were hanging out with ugly guys who werent attractive at all just know how to speak and good sense of humor.

    Then one day I said f*ck it, I am gonna do it, these times won't come back and I approached her. Hopefully we dated and from that day on I have more courage and I have no problems with speaking chicks, I do naughty things, I kiss, I hang out every sh*t ;)

    • Haha, I hear you. That's great. Glad you're living the life.
      remember a girl started a conversation with me in a bar (blonde, lean, exactly my kind) and it was only 9 pm so I was like, eh too early.
      Just need to get over that hatred for beginning things.

    • You got chance man, ofcourse there are also kind of girls who make the first move but %90 they want from male to do it. You seem to be a good guy :D If you be like this, you can just marry in the future but not have fun.