Like asking you over then blowing you off then calling a day later and acting like nothing happened, not revealing their true feelings about you, acting all understanding when you call them out on their shit and then still wanting to talk to you, and then chase you when you are willing to walk away from them, and then making comments like "You know you like it" when you stand up for yourself. What does this stem from and what would man try to gain from it?
Most Helpful Guy
In general, from my perspective, males don’t like the unknown. It puts them off their ‘game’ and requires them to start all over again with someone new. This might be okay for some, but mostly, in my experience a guy likes to keep the one he’s with so he doesn’t have to go out and find someone else to date, or whatever the case may be. Therefore, you have some like the guy in your example who plays mind games with you, because he’s got low self-esteem perhaps and doesn’t feel he would be able to find anyone else, so as long as he’s got you frustrated and confused and hopping from one ‘foot’ to the other trying to figure out his motives, interest, and/or intentions, you’re not leaving him or dating someone else. He’s always going to have you on the ‘hook’ as some might say. It is unfair to you, dishonest, and I personally don’t believe acceptable behavior. You should be bold and assertive and let him know what he’s doing is making you feel and he needs to either man-up and declare his intentions and stop playing games, or you’re leaving. There is nothing wrong with you putting your own ‘foot’ down and just be straightforward with him. That’s my bottom line.0
Most Helpful Girl
Sounds like a guy I used to talk to. We don't talk anymore because I didn't put up with that type of bullshit in the end.
I know what it's like. You're hoping he'll see your side of things at some point, you're hoping that when he seems understanding that he really means it. That he's just going to stop. Well, he won't. He'll keep doing this for as long as you talk to him, because he can.
In my case, the guy who did this to me was depressed. He was turbulent and insecure. He just wanted someone to toy with, probably just to blow off some steam, to focus on something other than his own depression and feelings of self-hatred. Seeing me be there for him, even when he acted like a jackass, was an ego boost to him. I just wanted to help him, and he used that against me. Any time I tried to stand up for myself, he either acted apologetic and sincere, or he'd blame it on me and say I was overreacting. He knew exactly when to be a sweetheart and when to be a jackass, because it made me hope that he'd stop being an ass.
I ended our friendship after a really long year of just fighting and feeling terrible. I wish I had done it sooner. So don't get sucked into it like I did, just leave and don't look back.0