I hear this all the time and am just wondering if this is true. What keeps the guy interested? I mean do you really believe in that as soon as man thinks he's got you, he pulls you away?
Men do this all the time, and judging from the responses below they don't even realize they're doing it. Which is why if you try to talk to them about it they'll act confused, hurt, and cornered.
It boils down to the male "chase and conquer" mentality. Men are designed to find things they want, chase them, and conquer their goal. Once they have accomplished that, they scale back their efforts and look for something else to conquer.
When a man is chasing a woman he will do ANYTHING necessary in his eyes to get her. He will be very romantic, use more words in more sentences than he's ever used in his life, open car doors, buy gifts and flowers, etc.
Once you tell him you're committed to him he relaxes. He turns his energies towards work or his car or his hobbies. The number of words he says drops to his normal level. No more opening doors, no flowers, or gifts. Valentine's Day is for "chasers" not "keepers."
There is no way to avoid it. It just is. It's largely why marriages suck. They expect sex on demand with no romance, which makes it hard to want sex beause you just feel like his maid, cook, secretary, and whore.
The only thing you can do is play games to make him less certain of your interest, which is exhausting.
Disclaimer: some men are very romantic and verbal by nature. I'm talking about your average Joe.
Sometimes guys are puling away when a girl becomes too clingy, too dramatic.
To keep guy more interested in you, sometimes you can be unpredictable, like kissing a guy unexpectedly (but of course when you'e both in relationship) being spontaneous and do some activities you didn't plan to do. Sometimes you can be a "bad" girl around your guy too, like not being afraid of being sarcastic sometimes, have some wild sex:) Not being too submissive, showing your boyfriend that you can have your own opinion too, sometimes boast yourself that for example you're doing something better than him and challenge him :P
It depends on the man. Some do it to play you and keep you on your toes. Others do because they want to reflect on what they're feeling and make sure they're doing the right thing (i. e. they don't want to get into a relationship with you to then realize they don't really feel like it, and end up breaking your heart). Others know for sure they want to be with the girl and see no reason to pull away.
It depends on the guy as it depends on the girl. Sometimes a guy pulls away bc the girl is starting to show way too much love, but not all of them pull. And sometimes the girl shows love but not too much, and the guy still pulls away, bc he's afraid of what's coming.
From a relationship coaching lens, sometimes and it applies to both men and women. There are two reasons for this:
Some people need mystery, intrigue, a challenge and they get bored with the easy way into someone's heart. This is childish but not completely uncommon
Some people, when they feel something real, get scared and back off. They've been hurt before and don't wanna get too close to someone.
m Anyone playing the GAME OF LOVE YES. But not all. This can go for both sides. Women like to chase guys "bad boys" but once they get them they try to change them into the prick they are not. Men like to chase women but once she turns around and saids... Hey lets move in together? They run... games game games.
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u It is 100% true absolutely! That is why no man has ever been in a long term relationship.
Really! Ho could you believe such nonsense? Do SOME guys do that? Of course. But ALL guys? Of course not. This is the kind of thing that a girl says as an excuse when a guy rejects her; easier to blame ALL guys than to consider the possibility that she did something to push him away.
A man only pulls away when he wasn’t serious in getting with you in the first place, he was just flirting and now you’re deep into him and the only way is to create some distance. He’s getting overwhelmed
I might point out, that men, just like Humans, get depressed, anxious, nervous, concerned, might need to isolate once in a while. A key to a relationship, like i'd know, would seem to me to be mutual repsect for space. Imagine your man, trying to hide finances from you and an engagement ring for a year... imagine him beating himself down, extra shifts, feeling like a loser that doesn't deserve you until the day he goes out on a Wednesday at lunch and picks up that band. Or, imagine he was doing that, but then the suv's transmission went to shit, now he's devastated, but he doesn't want to tell YOU, IT WAS ALL ABOUT YOU.
I see the hurt in some ladies answers here and it is valid. I only invite you to consider alternatives that may only be in a mans mind to know. Maybe his father is dying, you dont know. Men hold it down until they can't, and when they can't...
Maybe you can. Thats how its supposed to work. He needs you too. And if he is out fishing all the time or fucking your sister, he's a boy, not a man, plenty of men out here keeping to themselves because dating is a minefield of lawsuits now. Sorry, that's my bitterness coming out, lol.
Yeah... with guys, it's probably the opposite of that.
When women say that they are talking about sex and they are talking about meeting guys at a club or a bar. "Once you sleep with them they never call back".
Women are taught that men should keep them interested all of the time. Men are very content with a womens infacuation. If you are a women who wants to keep a guy then show him you really appreciate him. If he knows you think he's the best then everything will be great..
Damn, I wish I could have that.
Yeah I've sort of been guilty of this in the past. I always got bored with women really quickly. As soon as they gave themselves 100% to me I was just instantly bored. Was different with my girlfriend I guess. She managed to give herself to me 100% and still keep me interested. I actually still don't fully understand that girl lmao. She crazy man. But in a good way.
Well im not entirely sure, i dont exactly speak for all guys, but i think its just spending time together and talking, sometimes i think you just have to treat your partner like a really close friend. and try not to base the relationship on sex or possessions. your not his and he's not yours. no one owns anyone, but thats just me.
If a guy does that, he is likely freaking out a bit that he has gotten himself into something, and is naturally fearing losing his freedom and independence to his new girlfriend. He's trying to figure it out and doesn't want to hurt her, because he wouldn't have pursued it this far if he didn't care for you.
How much does he pull away? Either he needs space or he's not that interested or both. If he doesn't communicate why he does this then he's just a boy. Someone who doesn't communicate well is not worth my interest.
No; it might be perceived that way, but no. Listen to me and not the bitter women on here telling you otherwise. Often times when we pull away it's because there's something we are working on with ourselves. It is not a "chase and conquer" mentality. When I did this with girls, it's because I really needed to fix an insecurity.
A very huge turn off is when you play hard to get without any good reason other than misguided beliefs. So don't be misguided.
Getting played is your own fault.
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Yeah guys do that all the time which is why I decided not to get close to them and not let him think he "got me". I will still act interested but at the same time I'll act like he's just an option and that I don't care if he doesn't want me I'll just continue to live my life happily and this has actually worked I mean if we're official official then I won't act like this
Guys who have no intent of ever being in a relationship past just sex do this. Anyone else doesn't.
People who generalize all guys do this are girls who go after only guys who see women as pieces of meat to fuck which only shows the girls own shallowness.
i don't think so , but thanks for asking this question , i think i'm on the verge of doing this , guess i should ask her out already
I don't think it's on purpose ( usually) though it can certainly appear that way! I think the right guy will show an equal level of interest... Best of luck!
That's called playing games, playing hard to get. Treat them keep them keen. You will only find that from a player. Girls that like this stuff, get their hearts torn to pieces.
Depends on compatibility. People usually don't know if they are compatible until a few months into a relationship. I doubt many guys say oh she likes me well now I am not interested haha.
Women want commitment from men
When Ita men chasing this, she knows she didn't need to put much effort, so she naturally feels like she with a guy that she can do better
It seems like it. It's frustrating. But maybe I happen to be dating the "wrong" type of guy? But seriously how can you tell from the start? It's not always black and white
Only if he doesn't really care about you. Players tend to do that. So if he's not playing you then he won't. If he is, then he will.
Hmm. No I don't think so. I pull away when I notice the girl is bit crazy or if I come to some twisted conclusion she is better of without me for whatever magical reason I find at that given time.
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