Not necessarily. Once he got you his desire will get down, that's for sure. When this happens your relationship loose intensity and earns more peace and chill. That's the natural course of life and relationships.
I think he was just putting in a lot of effort to get you (pretty much a requirement as a man) and now that he's got you he doesn't need to keep chasing you.
It happens from both genders. This is just a trait of a true player or playette. They do it simply because they don't want to enter into a relationship, just want to play the dating game.
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Anonymous
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+1 y
No it's not true.
A few men, not the majority by any means, like the chase/hunt more than the capture. If they get you, they don't want you.
You'd think one could tell the difference between a boy and a man.. I am confused honestly because I had known this guy for a year before I asked him out. We'd always had great discussions and a plethora of things in common. Anyways, I asked him out and even somewhat initiated the first move. I got a great response in return and he had followed up on texting me for a few days. However I am not always "quick to respond" because I dislike texting which I told this guy as well. But he got irritated somewhat about the fact that I didn't always reply soon enough. Texting started to fizzle out and he sent me an interesting message on V-day in a text that compared me to a purple rose saying "Your like a purple rose, so hard to find but worth the search". I responded later that day and got no response. I called two days later to check in and got no response. That is honestly why I was confused..
Your experience with this one guy does not determine the norms for all men. Period. So let's quit with the generalizations, shall we? Your question should have been, "I pursued a guy and he isn't responding - why?" And the answer could be a lot of things, but just the way you describe how it was YOU that pursued and asked out, and made the first move, and pushed your way is telling. My hunch is he isn't too impressed with how pushy you are. But I don't know, you really should have had this discussion with him.
Strong women need to dial it back a bit for their men. Go out and hit it hard, be a success, makes lots of money, climb the corporate ladder - we're all for that. --> cont
But when it comes to relating to your man you need to be more like a woman and less like a man. Here's another article that might click for you on DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSION and how women are perceived when they are like men: illimitablemen.com/.../
From the dominance article I found these two paragraphs quite profound: "Love and lust are not based on mutual respect. Love is based on mutual care, lust on mutual desire. Women care and lust when they can respect man’s hardness, men lust for flesh, caring only when they are ensnared by a woman’s softness. An equal woman is not a soft woman, nor a desirable woman, nor a woman a man of any real standing desires to protect, and so she is neither a woman he will endure to commit to, nor a woman in anything but the physical sense of the word, for by behaving as a man and trying to compete as one, she devalues herself in his eyes.
It is as such the strategy of the wise woman to submit, complement and enjoy the fruits and protection of her man, whereas it is the purview of the foolish woman to compete with him at every turn. Women of a masculine nature will never be truly desirable to men in much the way men of a feminine nature will never be truly desirable to women. -->cont
... The difference between the two of course is masculine women can get laid, but feminine men can’t, where they are of course equal is neither receives commitment from anyone either."
I am not fond of having to pick out my own birthday presents and he flat out refused to buy roses after the honeymoon period even though they're my favorite flowers. I'm not looking for much but SOME effort is required.
I mean, I don't need a dozen Valentine roses. "Just get one." I told him it's just making the effort to stop.. that he thought of me. I didn't care of it came from a grocery store but Jesus, when you know someone really like something why would you intentionally not do it?
Of course I didn't bug him at first but around year ten I started spelling it out for him.
@PunkinPie You're complaining about flowers that are just going to wilt and die in about a week? That's a waste of money if you ask me, why not just get you a $1 card and write nice words in it?
If he went on a paid honeymoon with you, that's already effort and time invested in YOU. I commend him for shutting you up for complaining about freaking flowers. You had no right to "speel" anything out for him.
Also, what are you getting HIM? I see you complaining, but what did HE get on the honeymoon?
What Girls & Guys Said
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Not necessarily. Once he got you his desire will get down, that's for sure. When this happens your relationship loose intensity and earns more peace and chill. That's the natural course of life and relationships.
A little yes... girls do that too
I know that I'm too available, sometimes not always, she might pull back a little
it's not a bad thing. it;s just going with the flow
It's good that you can pick up that cue, just back it up a little... and give him space. That's the best option
I think he was just putting in a lot of effort to get you (pretty much a requirement as a man) and now that he's got you he doesn't need to keep chasing you.
It happens from both genders. This is just a trait of a true player or playette. They do it simply because they don't want to enter into a relationship, just want to play the dating game.
No it's not true.
A few men, not the majority by any means, like the chase/hunt more than the capture. If they get you, they don't want you.
Truth is, you shouldn't want them either.
No, not true at all.
Boys? Or men?
Men are simple creatures, easy to please. You're still not sure how to keep a man interested?
You'd think one could tell the difference between a boy and a man.. I am confused honestly because I had known this guy for a year before I asked him out. We'd always had great discussions and a plethora of things in common. Anyways, I asked him out and even somewhat initiated the first move. I got a great response in return and he had followed up on texting me for a few days. However I am not always "quick to respond" because I dislike texting which I told this guy as well. But he got irritated somewhat about the fact that I didn't always reply soon enough. Texting started to fizzle out and he sent me an interesting message on V-day in a text that compared me to a purple rose saying "Your like a purple rose, so hard to find but worth the search". I responded later that day and got no response. I called two days later to check in and got no response. That is honestly why I was confused..
Your experience with this one guy does not determine the norms for all men. Period. So let's quit with the generalizations, shall we?
Your question should have been, "I pursued a guy and he isn't responding - why?"
And the answer could be a lot of things, but just the way you describe how it was YOU that pursued and asked out, and made the first move, and pushed your way is telling. My hunch is he isn't too impressed with how pushy you are. But I don't know, you really should have had this discussion with him.
Since you're a go-getter, and there's nothing wrong with that, you might be a able to glean something from my take here: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a34931-men-are-simple-not-stupid-an-alpha-woman-is-always-gonna-butt
Strong women need to dial it back a bit for their men. Go out and hit it hard, be a success, makes lots of money, climb the corporate ladder - we're all for that. --> cont
But when it comes to relating to your man you need to be more like a woman and less like a man. Here's another article that might click for you on DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSION and how women are perceived when they are like men: illimitablemen.com/.../
From the dominance article I found these two paragraphs quite profound:
"Love and lust are not based on mutual respect. Love is based on mutual care, lust on mutual desire. Women care and lust when they can respect man’s hardness, men lust for flesh, caring only when they are ensnared by a woman’s softness. An equal woman is not a soft woman, nor a desirable woman, nor a woman a man of any real standing desires to protect, and so she is neither a woman he will endure to commit to, nor a woman in anything but the physical sense of the word, for by behaving as a man and trying to compete as one, she devalues herself in his eyes.
It is as such the strategy of the wise woman to submit, complement and enjoy the fruits and protection of her man, whereas it is the purview of the foolish woman to compete with him at every turn. Women of a masculine nature will never be truly desirable to men in much the way men of a feminine nature will never be truly desirable to women. -->cont
... The difference between the two of course is masculine women can get laid, but feminine men can’t, where they are of course equal is neither receives commitment from anyone either."
the most logical answer...
some people do, some people don't
Complete nonsense. Shit young people make up... usually women..
Not true for me, if i think i got you ill ask you to be mine and seal the deal.
Yeah, that's so many men marry women, that's our way of pulling away.
xD
Lol, that sounds more like something a girl would do than a guy
Nope, thats uncommon enough that i've never even heard of it happening before.
Is weird, I usually got stuck and couldn't get out.
It's possible with some. However, I doubt that many would do that - since guys want love, too.
Not universally, but I have heard several girls say this so it must be fairly common.
How can a man pull away if he already has you? Nonsense question.
They usually cut way back on communication and gifts... none to little romantic gestures. (I don't count sex as romance)
@PunkinPie Gifts aren't what you should judge your relationship on, and romantic gestures are to win you over.
Once he has won you over, what's the point in continuing to attempt to win you over if he already did?
Also I'm sure the communication is just fine, I've never seen a couple on good terms that lack communication.
I am not fond of having to pick out my own birthday presents and he flat out refused to buy roses after the honeymoon period even though they're my favorite flowers. I'm not looking for much but SOME effort is required.
I mean, I don't need a dozen Valentine roses. "Just get one." I told him it's just making the effort to stop.. that he thought of me. I didn't care of it came from a grocery store but Jesus, when you know someone really like something why would you intentionally not do it?
Of course I didn't bug him at first but around year ten I started spelling it out for him.
@PunkinPie You're complaining about flowers that are just going to wilt and die in about a week? That's a waste of money if you ask me, why not just get you a $1 card and write nice words in it?
If he went on a paid honeymoon with you, that's already effort and time invested in YOU. I commend him for shutting you up for complaining about freaking flowers. You had no right to "speel" anything out for him.
Also, what are you getting HIM? I see you complaining, but what did HE get on the honeymoon?
Depends on how lucky your are meeting someone serious
Boys, yes.
A man, no.
So much truth in this :)
Not if he's the matured kind.