Girl says she's bored?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend of a year and a half has been lately saying she's bored. That's fine, because I know it's mainly her. She has no hobbies, no passion, she's basically relying on me to be successful so she doesn't have to do shit when I land my bigger job. But she says she's bored with us, and I understand why... I always try to get her to do different things and she never wants to, she RELIES on me to entertain her. So my question is how can I get her into some hobbies... anything, she literally does nothing if I'm not with her and it's not healthy for her or our relationship. How can I tell her in a way where she won't feel like I'm saying she is a lazy piece of shit -_-

[Twistboy101]

Well if she really is a lazy piece of shit then you should tell her that... probably not in those words... of course she's not gonna think that about herself because she probably believes that's she's right about everything...

[Asker]

I have confronted her on it multiple times, obviously not in that manner but it never seems to work. I got her into reading for a little bit but it was very short lived.

I should also mention we live with each other so it makes the entirety of the situation that much more sensitive. She's so insecure that if I even play video games and don't pay attention to her it becomes a huge thing.

[deaston]

I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but when a girl says she is bored like that it typically means she wants to do things with another guy. I would be worried if I were you

[Asker]

TBH If she wants to do that I'm not gonna stop her. The only difference between her and some "bitch" is I WANT to be with her, but it's not a NEED. If she cheated I would honestly cheat back 5 times more than she did.

[Asker]

And I would cheat on her with her best friend cause I know she wants me lol

[deaston]

Hmm... Doesn't sound like you're surprised?

[Asker]

I've come to not be surprised by action of people other than myself.

[FreeAngel]

does she have a job or anything? also when you say land a big job does she just want to stay at home all day? also does she have depression or does she just not like to do anything?

[Asker]

She does have a job that she is incredibly unhappy with, she didn't go to college so she's in a position now where she has no idea what she wants to do because what she CAN do is so limited.

To your second question, my new job will be landing me 200-230k a year, so yes she would be staying home because it wouldn't really be necessary. She wants to be a "stay at home wife".

I don't believe she is depressed. She gets into these funks often where she is overall simply displeased with how her life has played out, she had very high grandiose expectations that weren't realistic for living in our time. I really think she just doesn't like doing anything.

[FreeAngel]

um sounds alittle fishy to me. even if money is tight she can still go to college, but if she has no life goals i think she needs some help, because if she is bored now once she no longer has to work she will still be bored but on your money not hers.

[Asker]

I know, and I know I'm not a boring person, this is the first girlfriend I've ever had who seems to be high maintenance but really isn't. She's so insecure in herself it's hard to understand where she comes from. I'm ridiculously easy to get along with and there is always tension.

We live together, and I can't even play video games when she's around because she requires constant attention and affirmation through affection etc. I love who she used to be, we used to get along amazing, she's been a friend of mine since high school (10+ years) and it's really difficult for me to come to a rational decision on based on fact alone of whether I should break it off with her or not.

I know she's a good person. I may sound selfish in saying this, but my mental health comes before anything and she's pushing it to it's breaking point. I just don't know how to go about anything. I want to fix it, I don't want to end it, but I will if I need to.

Is it really fishy, or what?

[FreeAngel]

your mental helth is more important than anything as i feel she might be slightly depressed. you should confront her gently about getting some help from a doctor. if she says no then you need to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. you can't go on feeling bad about her choices

[Asker]

I have unfortunately talked to her multiple time about how she needs to constantly be around me and her harsh jealousy. I'll talk to her about seeing a doctor but im 99% sure she won't do it. I appreciate you posting.

[FreeAngel]

than she needs to deal with her life problem if she doesn't listen to you when you try and confront her she doesn't respect your opinion

[Asker]

I should also add that she desperately wants to get engaged. Like, it's a little off putting. She wants me to get ask her to marry her and says that if I don't soon, within the next year, she will leave. I don't know what her rush is, but I believe it is because her one friend is married with two kids (the first one was why they got married eg. a mistake), her other closer friend is engaged to her boyfriend of 4 years, she has another friend who is a model and I think this plays into her lack of self esteem.

[FreeAngel]

she shouldn't be rushing you into anything you don't want yet and her holding it over your head like that is a bad sign. if someone said give me a ring or I'm leaving when it's not something i want yet I'd be like bye. yes i know you have been with her for awhile but it sounds like the longer you are with her the worse it gets. if she doesn't trust you now what makes you think she will trust you after you get married?

[Asker]

To be honest I DID want it a lot at first, but the more she begged for it the more I thought about how I felt as though it was out of situational desperation more than it was that she genuinely wanted to get married.

I think she's scared to be alone.

[FreeAngel]

sounds about right and thats not a reason to stay with someone. it's more a reason to learn to stand on your own

[Anonymous]

Bro you are in a dilemma here one side you like the girl the other side she get bored by you taking care of her ass and stuff. If I'm not mistaken her next step will be something like exploring on internet eventually chat with other guys...

[Asker]

It's not as much of a dilemma as you think. It's pretty straightforward. I'm not one to let feelings get in the way of rational decision. If she cheated on me I would break up with her, and I wouldn't think twice and I would go back to one night stands like I used to.

[Opinion Owner]

I know what you mean

[Opinion Owner]

Said dilemma because these days you see a lot of people hitting their heads into the wall knowing that it's wrong.

[Asker]

Yeah, I see what you mean now, it's a stupid dilemma though as I know what I should do, just trying everything I can to fix it.

[Opinion Owner]

It takes two to fix such things man