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My boyfriend doesn't want me to go bars/clubs, and I feel he is controlling me. What do I do? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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I'm gonna be blunt. Go. If he don't like it he can move on. We need to get rid of the illusion of men controlling women. It's your life, enjoy it, don't let him bring you down because of his insecurities. YOU be the one to give him the ultimatum. I'm going or I'M breaking up with YOU! He's insecure, you don't need that.
I agree with you!!
Talk to him about it (if you haven't). A serious conversation that if he's going to try to control your life and dictate what you can and can't do, then there's going to be problems between you. Also find out and ask about his feelings. Why is this important to him? Is there fear? That you'll cheat or leave him? This not only opens up communication but helps with the trust between you. Now, if he's not willing to talk this over with you, then maybe he's not the type of guy you need to be with?
Far too controlling.
Time to question a relationship like that. Lots of insecurity on his part.
I think that he’s just worried. Just because you don’t go to pick up guys, doesn’t mean that he knows/believes that. It’s really hard being so insecure about yourself and are afraid to be left or cheated on.
This is just why I would be like this. I don’t think I could handle getting cheated on and lied too. I also just have trust issues so maybe that’s it too.
I can't handle lies or cheating either. It's a deal breaker. But I also give all my partners a fair chance with trust in the beginning. It's not fair to prevent me from doing something just because someone from your past did it.
It’s hard to explain. People that aren’t like that, won’t get it.
I just feel bad and think that understanding needs to come to the surface. If you can’t handle it, break up with him. He’ll find someone who can handle and understand his insecurities and trust issues and you can go to clubs and find a guy who’ll let you do that no questions asked
I say dump him don’t let him control this is where it starts. Then something your 22 your to young not to be having fun.
You’re right. This is only the start.
Right, that's where my head is at the moment. I am faifthful and respectful. But I also want to have my time before we all start getting married and babysitting each other's kids!
He’s being controlling and over the top jealous. My boyfriend tried to act like that in the beginning of our relationship and I straight up told him if that’s the kind of woman he thinks I am then he’s sorely mistaken and we’re not gonna work it out together. That caught him by surprise and he never tried to tell me what I cannot do again.
Bars and clubs with your friends, and you both are two birds of a feather? How would you feel if it was him who wanted to go with a friend named Joe?
Maybe some space is best right now, so you can decide if you wanna stay or take another one seater ride.
If he wanted to go out with his friends, then he should go. His life doesn't stop just because I'm there. Yes, we're starting to build a life together, but he also should have time to himself and be with his friends. As long as he doesn't do anything disrespectful to the relationship then I don't see a problem.
This is only the start. First this, then what’s next. No, you can’t go out with the girls. No, I don’t want you going to the gym. In other words you’re not allowed to have any fun unless he’s part of it. He wants ownership, not a relationship.
No. .
I think you shouldn't go to clubs and bars as a routine or habit maybe once in a wjile as you get oldet things change and is not nice for a mom to go to bars. My wife sometimes goes out and i picked her up and she's puking and feel sorry for her she's pretty smart , nurse this is no good for her life. I told her if this was going to be a routine for her i would stop paying mortgage and movevout. Dont let him boss you but dont be a drunk. You will be seen as a good person
I don't go clubbing every weekend. I didn't mean to imply that. I mainly go to bars with the girls. And I don't drink much.
I think he's just worried something might happen. Especially because clubbing has the stigma attached to it that a girl is not wearing much and trying to show off her stuff. As for thinking of a place to recommend, he probably can't think of one because he doesn't know any places that aren't clubs.
Its not controlling honestly i wouldn't like my girlfriend to go out with some guy i dont know, friends she's known are ok, otherwise i would like to say that the club is a place i used to go to to hit on girls even if u wanna dance and let loose a club isn't the best place in my opinion 🤷🏻♂️
What a controlling manipulative little freak your boyfriend is. You're a grown woman and He is not your husband to be acting the way he is acting.
Go have fun in your youth with your friends and if he cries like a little punk about it then get rid of him.
To be fair, marriage does not change how much another human can restrict someone in their actions. It would still be controlling, even if they were married.
@Kilo2TU: I understand. But a husband has a much higher position than some lame boyfriend that is insecure about his girlfriend at a nightclub to have fun.
In My experience club or not if she really wants to cheat on him she can. It doesn't take a hour to have sex inside the bathroom of a Subway during lunch.
Yeah, I can certainly agree with all of those points! In any case, the boyfriend sounds rather insecure, which will probably come out in more ways than just banning going to clubs with her friends.
I think he's just forcing u to stop doing things what u like... He just wants to manipulate u according to his desire... just remind him that his girlfriend ( you) is a young and fun loving girl and she'll njoy the way she wants...
He analysed the situation accordingly
U have to decide what u want not him...
If the relationship between you two is serious, then I get why he doesn't want you to go. I think he still wants to be able to take you serious than a girl who constantly want to have fun and drink at bars and clubs with his girls. I don't know if you would be okay if he goes to bars and clubs with his homies where there could be drunk girls doing crazy stuff.. But, if you truly don't care, then why are you wasting your and his time? But, I really didn't like that he blackmailed you.
I've never been that type of girl so it never occurred to me that it would be a problem.
I personally would have dropped him the moment he threatened to break up.
Anyway I don't mind a s. o. telling to not do something, if they do it in a human adult way and like more ask you to stay home and not command it. But if a s. o. (single) would have command me to stay home, I would go, just cause he commanded me.
Also to add so much for trusting you...
Yeah end it. If he just expresses concerns about you being safe on girls night out, then that's fine. But if he outright forbids you from going and threatens to break up over it, then that's immature and controlling and it's not going to get any better.
Tell you what you may or may not do is controlling. You should be able to dance with your friends. In the end it's a trust issue (he's insecure i think) and you should make it clear you love him but you want to spend time with your friends as well.
Be careful if you give in to this it's properly become worse. He's gonna isolate you this way. GL
You aren't compatible with this guy. There are plenty of guys who will go out with their friends while you are out with yours. Never give up an important part of your life to be with some guy.
This one is hard because especially how kids dance now days the thing i want to think about is some dude grinding on my girl. Dancing has always been sexual but now days its even more so. That said, a guy should trust his girl to make the right decisions
You should have just calmly said "Ok, as you wish" and smile. And go out with your friends. He'd be calling you soon begging you to come back.