I went out to eat with this guy and he was so rude to the waiter. Is this a red flag?

Question

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

Of course it is. However he treats others he will eventually treat you as well. Works the same way with your friends - if they're a liar and a cheat they'll screw you over too. Sooner or later.
This applies to both genders.

One infamous hi-tech or financial group (can't recall which) had a CEO that when he had a final candidate to hire for a top-job he would set the last interview at a luncheon. He would per-arrange for the candidates meal to get f'd up and see how he handled it. If it was with grace and humor he was hired - if not he wasn't.

Watch how a date treats service people, animals, children, and store clerks. :)

For guys, check out her mother - cuz that's what she'll eventually look like - good or bad. LOL

SullyB · Accepted Answer

Yes, it is a definite red flag for me. If the waiter was a famous singer or movie star or celebrity , do you think he would treat them in the same way.
No.
This is alarming because it proves that he could turn on you in a fit of

lumos · Accepted Answer

Always. It shows that he thinks that there are people who are beneath him, and that these people don’t deserve his respect. Even if they’re serving him and just doing their job. It’s absolutely a red flag, because one day, he might think that you’re also beneath him.
A person like him is never worth dating. Some people might say that respect should not be given and must be earned, but I think that’s bullshit. Everyone deserves to be respected until they’ve proven that they don’t. And I doubt the waiter did anything to make this guy act rudely.
Either he’s really far up his own ass, or maybe even a narcissist. Not worth sticking around to find out which one it is.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

Hi Ms A,
Yes it is! Whenever a boy is rude to anyone who has done him no wrong that is a red flag and red flags are worth avoiding.
The only acception would be if that is a rare happening. We all can be rude without thinking on occasion. I know I have to be careful of that about once a month... lol
But if he has a proclivity for it, move on quickly and don't look back or, at some point, you will be the next victim.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I would not say its a red flag. My family does everything for me and so do my family friends but they are routinely rude to waiters when they go out to eat - I would say it means they have priorities and don't treat everybody with the same kindness and grace.

azzntittiz · Accepted Answer

Unless the waiter was rude and unprofessional then I can understand calling him out, but I hate people who are rude to waiters, I always avoid them. If he was a straight up douche for the sake of being a douche, then yeah, red flag.

ManOnFire · Answer

Ya know what I think is funny? The way women try to judge a man for the way he treats a waitress - and don't get me wrong he's definitely bad for being an asshole - but the irony us that women treat people who work in customer service much worse and more often than men do. And no one judges her character for it.

Pinay_ako · Answer

first of all, what did the waiter do?

HungLikeAHorsefly · Answer

Absolutely. If he's rude to service workers, he'll be rude to others. Like, you.

TadCurious · Answer

I think it is a red flag. You can tell a lot about a person's character by the way they treat other people. And lots of times it's how they treat people who work in service industries that tells the most. These people work hard and they deserve to be treated with respect. If they make a mistake there's a way of addressing that that doesn't require demeaning them or treating them rudely.

bootyfulgal · Answer

Red flag!! It shows he feels superior to others, and if you pursue a relationship with someone like that, he may be demanding or tough on you in the future. If you don't work in a high class job, he's the type that would look down on you kind of thing. Run now girl.

passinby · Answer

RUN! Put yourself in the place of that waiter because someday that could be you. This guy sees them as the little people because he has some control over the waiter in the customer role. Once he feels you are in his clasp, you can expect the same treatment.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

It is always a red flag. Always. Though it could be that he was just having a bad day but even if that were the case, for one, why was he then going on a date and, for two, he still did not have the right to take it out on someone else.

r4ngeF · Answer

I always recommend not to judge people too fast.
Is it a sign? Definitively yes.
Does it say he will always act like this? No.
Some of us do listen when asked or criticized.
You should know better about his behaviours, and if politeness and manners are not too much to ask from him, since I got no clue who he is.

Lynnh · Answer

Yes! Always pay attention to how your potential partner treats waiters AND their parents (because that's how you'll be treated later). Being rude to a waiter? A complete no-no. Even if you like him a lot, please at least talk to him about it, that you don't like it. Maybe he was just having a bad day, but really, that shouldn't be tolerated. You don't want a toxic and aggressive relationship.
Goodluck though! <3

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely. It shows that he is an insecure dipshit who has to belittle people in subordinate positions. There may very likely come a time he will start treating you that way.

Tell him straight up that you didn't appreciate his behaviour around public servants and how makes him look insecure. He will not like that word "insecure" (it's the opposite of what bullies think they are) but he needs the truth.

by the way - have you ever seen the movie "waiting" with Ryan Reynolds? There is a famous line saying to never fuck with people who are serving your food. I wouldn't of finished that plate of food.

Tom31292 · Answer

depends on if he's had a bad day or not, or if he previously knew said waitor. personally its a red flag but i know more than face glance can be expressed in a simple 15 min to half an hour encounter i would say see what he's like around other people if that red flag keeps coming up its more than likely it will spread to you once he feels he's in controle.

LoloWaye · Answer

Yes it is!! Being rude to someone who can't defend themselves is such a shitty thing to do. Being rude to anyone is actually pretty shitty. To me it says a person doesn't have respect for others and they aren't kind people. You can't call yourself a kind/respectful person if you feel only certain people deserve your kindness.

rookster6173 · Answer

If a man can't respect people he doesn't know, what makes you think he will respect people he does know? I don't trust people who are rude to wait staff, dogs or kids. Its indicative of things to come.

JackofSpades · Answer

Don't put too much emphasis one experience.
But you should pay close attention to the way he treats the people in his life.

Right now he's trying to impress you and treat you right.
But once he thinks he's got you, he'll begin treating you about the same way as he treats others.

spiderweirdo · Answer

That's a turn-of for me if i ever saw one. Trying to up his ego and status, by a person he requires conversing with for a product he wants and needs. How lame.

madhatters4 · Answer

definitely a red flag. showing a lack of general respect for people is a huge red flag and it's a characteristic that's a big turn off for me personally

coralee · Answer

Someone who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. The true measure of a person is in how they treat peple they have authority or power over.

D1VADAME · Answer

Yes. You can tell how he will act to someone he expects something from. In time, that will be you. Entitled assholes like him are a massive, very classic red flag. Run!

SarahsSummer · Answer

Yup.

pickyourcliche · Answer

It's a classic. How someone treats someone who can't hit them for being a dick is a great indication of their character.

Gypsy_x · Answer

That is honestly the biggest turn off to me. It means he doesn't have the patience to be kind to people, and thinks he's better than others.

Jan_Classic · Answer

Some waiters make us all mad. Normally they are the cheapest and dumbest labor. I don't get why should it be a red flag. You'll date the waiter instead or what?

kilowatt04 · Answer

Yes. At the very least it means he thinks he is better than someone else by virtue of his life experiences. Not a good match if you're a kind and reasonable person.

Marilyn-Monroe · Answer

Yesss, when I go out on a date I pay attention to the guy to see if he's nice to the waitstaff. If he's nice, then he's a good guy ❤️

Omar5881 · Answer

It's a huge red flag like it should be a deal breaker

Intraluminal · Answer

That flag is not just red, it's on fire. I told my daughter, and I'll tell you, that the best indicator of a person's quality is how they treat people who can do NOTHING for them.

juliaaa · Answer

it's a huge red flag to me. shows how they view other people in general.

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

Yep, if they treat the public like that, imagine how they treat people in private.

TripleAce · Answer

Define rude? Cause that is a little too ambiguous  People have their own measure of what rude is...

DejectionControlled · Answer

YES! People who treat service workers like shit ARE shit.

EmmaMary · Answer

I think you know the answer as well as the rest of us.

nevermoregirl7 · Answer

I would think so. How he treats others is an insight to how he treats you.

wankiam · Answer

very definitely a red flag. its one thing to complain if the service is bad but not to be rude.

mkems · Answer

It is a red flag. It matters not how you treat me, but how you treat the waiter.

CharlieUnicorn · Answer

Yes, it's a dead ringer. Seems nearly everyone here agrees too.

Silver158 · Answer

Yup, if people are rude to servers or anyone they might feel like are below them, it's a bad sign. Went on a date once and the girl was rude to the barista, went through with the rest of the date but never bothered to see her again.

paulbanyan · Answer

If he's rude to someone serving him... What does that day about his character?

Aguysopinion4799 · Answer

Yeah, if he's rude to someone then doesn't that count as a bad attitude and bad personality?

Anonymous · Answer

DUH YES you're in line for some of this later on after he's mined you for what he wants

JimRSmith · Answer

If there was no call for it, this is a definite red flag, yes.  What did he do, exactly?

PoliceLivesMatter · Answer

What exactly did he do or say that constituted you thinking he was rude to the waiter?

legendaryintrovert · Answer

Hurry up. It's the best reason to define his character. Red flag.

more2life · Answer

No it just means he doesn't take shxt from anyone, and will probably be great at defending you.

Anonymous · Answer

Unless the waiter was also rude to him, there's no good reason your date had to be rude. So, yes, that's a red flag.

Astoriana · Answer

For me it is. I would never see that guy again.

PrincessPie · Answer

Yes, that would put me off.

Emily_Knowles · Answer

He might have been annoyed with something before coming out and didn't want to take it out on you so took it out on the waiter. Ask him out for another date and see if he is rude to the waiter again. If he is then LEAVE HIM

didigo182 · Answer

YES. This atitude told you a lot about the type of "human being" he is.

Anonymous · Answer

HUUUUUUUGE red flag. I won't date someone like that twice.

Kuraj · Answer

That depends on how "rude" he was and on whether the waiter deserved it.

genericname85 · Answer

Depends xD what did the waiter do that made him be rude?

Anonymous · Answer

yes, any sign of disrespect to anybody (meaning, disrespecting anybody) is a red flag

ChronicThinker · Answer

Yeah, he's a shithead.

abradolf_lincler · Answer

Yes, there's no need for it. Waiting can be a bullshit job

Anonymous · Answer

very. if he's treating others poorly, how do you think he'll treat you bad. those people work for a living, and work on very low wages, they work on tips, they don't need rude customers

rm_llort · Answer

It is an indicator or how he treats people he pecieves to have power over.

AdmiralBailey · Answer

Rude is subjective but most likely he's not a good person

alenjose12123 · Answer

Yep , I think, a guy like that, how can he be nice to you in future

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah it's not okay to do that. That's in most cases a sign of self-absorbed personality.

HandsomeGuy500 · Answer

As long as he's not rude to you I don't see the problem.

I went out to eat with this guy and he was so rude to the waiter. Is this a red flag?

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I went out to eat with this guy and he was so rude to the waiter. Is this a red flag?

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