I went out to eat with this guy and he was so rude to the waiter. Is this a red flag?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, it is a definite red flag for me. If the waiter was a famous singer or movie star or celebrity , do you think he would treat them in the same way.
    No.
    This is alarming because it proves that he could turn on you in a fit of

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    • yeh just because the food took a bit of time doesn't mean you need to get moody and frustrated

    • rage which is terrible , definite red flag for me. Make the right choice honey. Do you want your future kids to think that that behavior is acceptable. No.

    • Absolutely true, please make the right choice darling!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Always. It shows that he thinks that there are people who are beneath him, and that these people don’t deserve his respect. Even if they’re serving him and just doing their job. It’s absolutely a red flag, because one day, he might think that you’re also beneath him.
    A person like him is never worth dating. Some people might say that respect should not be given and must be earned, but I think that’s bullshit. Everyone deserves to be respected until they’ve proven that they don’t. And I doubt the waiter did anything to make this guy act rudely.
    Either he’s really far up his own ass, or maybe even a narcissist. Not worth sticking around to find out which one it is.

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What Guys Said 64

  • Ya know what I think is funny? The way women try to judge a man for the way he treats a waitress - and don't get me wrong he's definitely bad for being an asshole - but the irony us that women treat people who work in customer service much worse and more often than men do. And no one judges her character for it.

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  • Absolutely. If he's rude to service workers, he'll be rude to others. Like, you.

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  • I think it is a red flag. You can tell a lot about a person's character by the way they treat other people. And lots of times it's how they treat people who work in service industries that tells the most. These people work hard and they deserve to be treated with respect. If they make a mistake there's a way of addressing that that doesn't require demeaning them or treating them rudely.

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  • It is always a red flag. Always. Though it could be that he was just having a bad day but even if that were the case, for one, why was he then going on a date and, for two, he still did not have the right to take it out on someone else.

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  • I always recommend not to judge people too fast.
    Is it a sign? Definitively yes.
    Does it say he will always act like this? No.
    Some of us do listen when asked or criticized.
    You should know better about his behaviours, and if politeness and manners are not too much to ask from him, since I got no clue who he is.

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  • RUN! Put yourself in the place of that waiter because someday that could be you. This guy sees them as the little people because he has some control over the waiter in the customer role. Once he feels you are in his clasp, you can expect the same treatment.

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  • definitely a red flag. showing a lack of general respect for people is a huge red flag and it's a characteristic that's a big turn off for me personally

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  • If a man can't respect people he doesn't know, what makes you think he will respect people he does know? I don't trust people who are rude to wait staff, dogs or kids. Its indicative of things to come.

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  • Some waiters make us all mad. Normally they are the cheapest and dumbest labor. I don't get why should it be a red flag. You'll date the waiter instead or what?

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    • he could be paying his way through a law degree for all you know

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    • I guess that makes sense if the men around where you live are stupid... total sense now.

    • @Mimi1721 only the waiters. I know a couple, but honestly they are the only couple of waiters in the neighborhood. However, men are getting dumber everywhere except for our gym =D

  • Don't put too much emphasis one experience.
    But you should pay close attention to the way he treats the people in his life.

    Right now he's trying to impress you and treat you right.
    But once he thinks he's got you, he'll begin treating you about the same way as he treats others.

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  • depends on if he's had a bad day or not, or if he previously knew said waitor. personally its a red flag but i know more than face glance can be expressed in a simple 15 min to half an hour encounter i would say see what he's like around other people if that red flag keeps coming up its more than likely it will spread to you once he feels he's in controle.

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  • It's a classic. How someone treats someone who can't hit them for being a dick is a great indication of their character.

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  • YES! People who treat service workers like shit ARE shit.

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  • That flag is not just red, it's on fire. I told my daughter, and I'll tell you, that the best indicator of a person's quality is how they treat people who can do NOTHING for them.

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  • Yup, if people are rude to servers or anyone they might feel like are below them, it's a bad sign. Went on a date once and the girl was rude to the barista, went through with the rest of the date but never bothered to see her again.

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  • It's a huge red flag like it should be a deal breaker

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  • Yes. At the very least it means he thinks he is better than someone else by virtue of his life experiences. Not a good match if you're a kind and reasonable person.

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  • Yep, if they treat the public like that, imagine how they treat people in private.

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  • Hurry up. It's the best reason to define his character. Red flag.

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  • It is a red flag. It matters not how you treat me, but how you treat the waiter.

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What Girls Said 35

  • I would not say its a red flag. My family does everything for me and so do my family friends but they are routinely rude to waiters when they go out to eat - I would say it means they have priorities and don't treat everybody with the same kindness and grace.

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    • Oh hell no. If your family was rude to me just because they think I don't deserve kindness or respect, I would probably lose my cool.

    • Waiters have control over your food. They can spit in it. Be nice to them.

  • Yes, that would put me off.

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  • Yeah, he's a shithead.

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  • Hi Ms A,
    Yes it is! Whenever a boy is rude to anyone who has done him no wrong that is a red flag and red flags are worth avoiding.
    The only acception would be if that is a rare happening. We all can be rude without thinking on occasion. I know I have to be careful of that about once a month... lol
    But if he has a proclivity for it, move on quickly and don't look back or, at some point, you will be the next victim.

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  • Yes! Always pay attention to how your potential partner treats waiters AND their parents (because that's how you'll be treated later). Being rude to a waiter? A complete no-no. Even if you like him a lot, please at least talk to him about it, that you don't like it. Maybe he was just having a bad day, but really, that shouldn't be tolerated. You don't want a toxic and aggressive relationship.
    Goodluck though! <3

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  • Red flag!! It shows he feels superior to others, and if you pursue a relationship with someone like that, he may be demanding or tough on you in the future. If you don't work in a high class job, he's the type that would look down on you kind of thing. Run now girl.

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  • Yes it is!! Being rude to someone who can't defend themselves is such a shitty thing to do. Being rude to anyone is actually pretty shitty. To me it says a person doesn't have respect for others and they aren't kind people. You can't call yourself a kind/respectful person if you feel only certain people deserve your kindness.

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  • That's a turn-of for me if i ever saw one. Trying to up his ego and status, by a person he requires conversing with for a product he wants and needs. How lame.

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  • Unless the waiter was rude and unprofessional then I can understand calling him out, but I hate people who are rude to waiters, I always avoid them. If he was a straight up douche for the sake of being a douche, then yeah, red flag.

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  • Someone who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. The true measure of a person is in how they treat peple they have authority or power over.

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  • Yes. You can tell how he will act to someone he expects something from. In time, that will be you. Entitled assholes like him are a massive, very classic red flag. Run!

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  • That is honestly the biggest turn off to me. It means he doesn't have the patience to be kind to people, and thinks he's better than others.

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  • Yesss, when I go out on a date I pay attention to the guy to see if he's nice to the waitstaff. If he's nice, then he's a good guy ❤️

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  • He might have been annoyed with something before coming out and didn't want to take it out on you so took it out on the waiter. Ask him out for another date and see if he is rude to the waiter again. If he is then LEAVE HIM

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  • it's a huge red flag to me. shows how they view other people in general.

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  • I think you know the answer as well as the rest of us.

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  • I would think so. How he treats others is an insight to how he treats you.

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  • No it just means he doesn't take shxt from anyone, and will probably be great at defending you.

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  • For me it is. I would never see that guy again.

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    • That one guy calling waiters stupid is the perfect example of why you ought to avoid people who are rude to waiters.

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