Great chemistry when we're together but little communication when apart. Is he still into me?

[Anonymous]

Met a guy through a dating app a few weeks ago and we texted every day from good morning to goodnight. We have a ton in common, laugh a lot, and we've had meaningful serious conversations. He's even opened up to me about really personal situations. We met up for the first time and had amazing chemistry. Great first kiss and affectionate touching and he text me when he got home that night thanking me for a great time. The week following we didn't text nearly as often and where before he would initiate all conversation I found myself starting it more. Met up for a second time and it was even better than the first time. STRONG chemistry, cuddling, hand holding, kissing, etc. We haven't had sex but it's clear we both want to. But again since seeing each other there's less talking. When I do initiate conversation it's good.. between the first and second dates he said he couldn't wait to kiss me again because "my kisses are amazing" but I can't help feeling weird that it's less and he's not reaching out as much. We already have another date planned and when we're together I can tell he's really into me. It's the in between that has me questioning things. Am I being crazy and overthinking this? I don't want to come off as clingy.

[The_DK_Viking]

He might just be busy and having other things going on than texting you 24/7 you want a guy who's independent and stuff don't you. Not one of those codependent stalker types? Your time together is a much stronger indicator of interest then any text can ever be. It's a lot easier to lie and be fake via text if you really want to. I would say tone down the pressure a bit so you don't overwhelm him and go spend your time doing stuff you like instead so he doesn't start thinking that you are clingy/not independent

[Asker]

You're so right. Thanks!

[Logorithim]

Chemistry in person is much more important than text communication when you're apart.

[Asker]

Good point. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

This exact thing happened with me in January!! It was amazing the first 6 weeks, but he ended up not wanting an exclusive relationship. You need to be upfront in the beginning like 2 weeks in, he may be talking to other girls, most likely since you met on an app. He may have different intentions. Trust me, the guy had me feeling like for just a second he may be the one. I was so fooled lol

[Asker]

Ugh that sucks! I'm sorry! We had a conversation super early on about what we were looking for and we both said hookups were off the table and we were looking for something substantial and a connection.

[BlackMaleYou]

Not everyone is into texting.
Great chemistry doesn't equate investment in a person.
Just acknowledge that u don't know what's up yet but u are open to figuring it out. Usually people's true intentions are revealed within 3-6month and defined even lies plus fuck ups are revealed within this period. If u get past 3month and it doesn't feel like he is investing till 6months, then u know where u stand.
Beware at the moment cos how do u know he is thinking of u when u are not together?

[steveguitar]

Honestly I think that all this communication technology fucks relationships up more than anything. People have expectations, he didn't text me he's always on his phone, I see that he's active.

Oh man people have to calm the fuck down

[Asker]

So true!!!

[DonRomeo]

Its fine, I do this. Spend most of my energy when we're together. Text because it can be nice, but just to keep things continuous. Misunderstandings are easy, so I try to keep it simple and often practical.

[Browneye57]

Dating app = fail
all that texting = fail
bothered by having to initiate = fail
your expectation for him to 'reach out' = fail
Thinking you're crazy = fail

Gee, you're battin' a thousand eh?

Let the relationship develop and quit worrying about texting. You can't forge a relationship with anyone by texting. There's no emotion, zero body language, so you miss out on at least half of what's being communicated. Which leads to misunderstanding and confusion, and then doubt and silly questions like this.

[Asker]

Well you’re a peach aren’t you.

[Browneye57]

No, that would be you. You're the one confused about communication with your man and I'm trying to explain why. But you don't want to hear it and just don't get it. What you're doing is a giant fail.

[Asker]

I think if I didn't want to hear it I wouldn't have asked. Other people have shared similar views as yours in a much more respectful way and I had no issue. Have a lovely day.

[Browneye57]

I don't respect you 'till you've earned it. What exactly would that be?
I don't mince words, or sugar coat everything. If you can't handle the truth then block me. That way I don't have to listen to your whining.
You just can't handle the bare-faced truth of anything - you want agreement, PC, or pussy-footing around. That's just not me. And I DGAF.

[Asker]

Those are some pretty bold accusations for someone you don't know at all. I wasn't whining and I don't know why you're on a site called "girls ask guys" if a girl asking a question is automatically considered whining. I can handle what you said. I'm not even saying you're completely wrong. I just think you're rude. Dating sites are an automatic fail? I'm sorry I'm not willing to waste my time at a bar meeting people who just want to hook up when I have three kids I'd rather spend that time with. Texting a lot in the beginning is an automatic fail? Ok... He led the conversation and we were getting to know each other before we met up so I didn't end up in public with some psychopath. If anyone can't handle something, it's you for being called out for your brashness. Call me crazy but I treat everyone I meet with respect just because I'm a kind human being.

[Browneye57]

Wow - impressive! You didn't blow out after all that. Very astute of you. And no, you can call me out all you want, it's all true - I'm the biggest asshole on this forum. I don't try to be polite, I try to wake people up. Most of the time shock-value works best. Young people are so used to everybody treating them with kid-gloves they're lulled into thinking they have all the answers. They just don't.
Some things to consider...
The guys on dating sites are looking for a hookup, at least 90-plus percent of them, so you gain nothing over hooking up at a bar. You're far better with an advocated introduction (a referral or a friend or relative introducing you) or at church, or at some other recreational activity you already enjoy. Dating sites are for losers - the people that cannot connect with others in their every day comings and goings. You soon find this to be true. Or not. [shrug]

I tell people not to get involved with single parents, either gender, for many reasons... cont -->

[Browneye57]

Primarily because a single parent has many things that rank higher in priority, or importance to them, other than this new date - the kids, her mother, her job, it could be any number of things. So this new date will ALWAYS be a rung well down the ladder of importance - he or she will never be priority one like in an original marriage.
Worse, stepping has to be the worst - you NEVER have final say, in fact mostly you have NO say, and you are never given the appreciation for any effort or accomplishment with the step children. It's a thankless job. BTDT.
But more importantly your kids need YOU - your FULL attention. Not off chasing strange men, bringing them in and out of their lives, it's a cruel way to grow up. You should really consider just raising them to the best of your ability, and when they move out THEN you can start your dating life over. I know you won't do this, but it's food for thought. Don't bring strange men into and out of their lives. It's just wrong.
Cont -->

[Browneye57]

Now, the texting thing. I know - I do it too. But I've been with the same lady for almost thirty years. We dated and married before there was such a thing. And we text every day. The problem with a new relationship is that you get no emotion and zero body language, so you miss out on at least half of what's being communicated. Which leads to misunderstanding and confusion, and then not being clear about where this is all going.
Worse, guys just don't have all the communication skills of a typical woman, she is the master of nuance and innuendo - he's just not. So you're way over matched for him with this and you'll try to read all kinds of stuff into what he says or doesn't say. It's just a really poor way to get to know someone. Consider using to arrange your next meet up IRL.

Well, I could go on, but let's see what you might be ready for... the true reality of it all. :)

[Asker]

Wow, that was a lot to read through but I appreciate you taking the time to reply and your take on things. I can't say I completely agree with you but I respect your opinion. I strongly disagree that because I have children and my husband decided he didn't want the responsibility of a family anymore that I have to refrain from finding a relationship until my kids are out of the house. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with you on however is not bringing strange men in and out of their life. I have no intention to ever bring someone around that I don't see sticking around. When I date it is completely separate from them and they have no idea what I'm doing or who I'm with. I also can't say that everyone on dating sites are there for hooking up. Yes, a vast majority probably are but I'm not and the person I'm referring to in this question isn't. We have seen each other multiple times and haven't taken it to that step yet and we've had conversations about what we're looking for. Cont...

[Asker]

We have been together IRL so I'm not sure you're really taking my actual situation into consideration when stating your opinion but rather speaking broadly about the confusion and overthinking that comes from a texting relationship. Again, thanks for your opinion. I in no way am looking for kid gloves. I just think you and I are very different and have differing opinions on life/dating. You seem to see things as very black or white. I tend to see that there are gray areas to every scenario.

[GreenGold1992]

Overthinking, but not crazy or clingy. As long as you're happy when you're together, it shouldn't matter how often or how less you text.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[GreenGold1992]

You're very welcome!

[LegateLanius]

That tends to happen. Don't worry about it. No need to text all the time. Many people use texting just to set meet ups and that's it.

[viked]

Give it a time u both are perfectly behaving naturally and normally. Don't force your thoughts too much... Let it go... U will find things on track as per ur wish.

[RichardBandit]

Are you the weirdo that talks about Eric all day?

[Asker]

Who's Eric?