Why do I like being treated badly?

I find myself falling for guys who treat me like an options instead of a priority. They cancel plans and text back late, yet I still give them chances. But when guys are attentive and treat me right I find myself feeling smothered. What’s wrong with me? Why do I like being treated badly?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • https://youtu.be/s6b33PTbGxk

    He is a hustler, he's no good at all
    He is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum
    He lies, he bluffs, he's unreliable
    He is a sucker with a gun, gun, gun, gun
    I know you told me I should stay away
    I know you said he's just a dog astray
    He is a bad boy with a tainted heart
    And even I know this ain't smart

    But mama I'm in love with a criminal
    And this type of love isn't rational, it's physical
    Mama please don't cry, I will be alright
    All reason aside I just can't deny, love the guy

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  • abusive famlily background would be my bet, but i would still recommend you to look for therapy, if thats bothering you. sometimes this can be a symptom of neglect issues during the person's upbring, but that's all bollocks until a professional has been checked with.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Maybe because you have low self-esteem, lack self-belief and have little self- respect. Anyone who knows their own worth, and has self-respect would never tolerate being mistreated by anyone. Hopefully as your personal growth develops , you'll become mentally and emotionally mature enough to stop falling for assholes

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  • It's part of what we as women have allowed to become what we find attractive. It's really a mindset, I too think that I have the same problem as you. It's really what as a society we've been taught to expect and to like. Why do you think that bad boy books and movies are so popular? It's what we've been influenced to believe by so many people. It's also a problem that we as women have, we want it all. A bad boy with a great body, a heart of gold who's secretly a genius. When we think we found that we'll try our best to keep it. We'll blame ourselves, blame our family, blame our friends, anyone that's not him, because it can't possibly be his fault. Since we find so many apparently good things about him we try to find excuses for the not-so-good ones. It's really a self-destructive behavior, but we just can't help ourselves. Because we want the fairytale, and we want to be the one who changes the bad boy. We want the perfect love story, but there isn't such a thing. As long as we're looking for the perfect Prince Charming, we're going to keep up with this self-destructive behavior. Hope you can break out of the cycle, best of luck!

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    • Did society teach you to blame society for your own personal flaws?

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    • I just take responsibility for my own issues, blaming society or any other 3rd party will get you no where.

    • @Kiels01 I guess you're right. I think I'd like you if I would have met you in another setting. Keep on challenging people, best of luck!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 56

  • you're just a standard issue, basic thot.

    So yeah.. good luck with that.

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    • Umm alright

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    • Jesus dude... at least bring a fire extinguisher before roasting the poor girl. She isn't even an adult.

    • @Benedek38 Eh, She'll be aight, If she can handle the same guy cheating on her 14 times in a month, Im sure she can handle some reality, Lmao.

  • Been there, done that. Maybe your home life isn't all that nice either. Maybe you don't have much self-esteem and when someone tells you how wonderful you are, you think they must be lying or they just aren't all that smart.

    Believe the people who tell you good things and treat you well. You are a lovely person and deserve to be loved.

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  • You like being a victim so you can get sympathy from your friends about how the guys you meet are arseholes. You enjoy the attention it gives you as then your friends will care more about you. And you like chasing those guys because you know they have options so aren't weak guys who'll bore you to death with constant compliments that you get for free rather than earning through merit.

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  • Since you're under 18 I'll give u the benefit of doubt that you're just finding yourself still and you think that certain guys are so coool, it night change as u get older but that's pretty typical of most women to feel this way lol

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  • You're a typical teenage girl.
    You prefer the BAD BOYS for some random reason.
    It's just a phase that will take a LONG time to pass. Give it a couple of years, or possibly decades, and you will be just fine.

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  • perhaps you have amazingly low self esteem and are unwilling to admit it. or maybe you are equally as bad of a person and know you do not deserve to be happy. did you try talking to a professional

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  • It's because you want to feel like you have to work to be a part of someone's life. You're a dog chasing a car. You get bored once you have the car.

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  • cause it makes you feel like you need to fix something... which gives you satisfaction if you make it better and if you don't... it keeps you busy working on it...

    a perfect relationship means you have nothing to work on... you just exist together

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  • well , you might be falling into a trap called "striving hard for excellence". Sometimes, it may improve if you work harder on problems like fixing the toliet. love will be very different than the mecahnical structure of a toliet.

    As for why, love is a bilateral or passive operation, while you will always be proactive in the front of a toliet

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  • Nothing is wrong with you you're a girl and that is called attraction , congratulations you actually noticed but you can't really do anything about it , its just the way it is.

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  • You have deep psychological and emotional problems such as low esteem and respect that being insulted doesn't bother you at all.

    You need to probably go get some professional consulting to help built your self esteem and self love.

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  • Something that's available at no cost is worthless. Something you have to work for has value. This applies to almost everything if you think about it.

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  • I have always fallen for women that steal, lie and cheat. I don't know why. But I've been single now for five years and intend on staying that way unless someone remarkable comes along

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  • It's a personality flaw, you don't see yourself as deserving of the basic respect you desire. Where you abused? issues with Mom and /or Dad?

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  • Broken wing syndrome. This is when you only go for guys who are messed up in some way hoping that they'll magically change and get better because of you

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  • You probably want to earn a guy's love instead of just having it dished out. When you get treated like trash, it provides that opportunity in your mind.

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  • That's quite normal but it shouldn't be like that. You are missing men that would be good with you for others that don't give a shit for something more that your body

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  • The only reason you like that is cuz that's the only thing you know, I find myself treating my girl like that sometimes, but guys are afraid that if they treat that they'll get stepped all over

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  • You're a highly submissive person with masochistic tendencies.

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  • Haha see what i mean!

    Girls are so ass backwards

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What Girls Said 26

  • To me it sounds like you don’t love yourself enough or as much as you love others, so maybe you try to find validation and self worth in guys who you will have to break your back for just so they’ll feel the same even tho they won’t. But what the hell do I know 😂😂😂

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  • Then guys wonder why some woman are feminist. Sweetie you are super woman and you are worth more then that. Man are fucking jerks and think they can step on woman. Times have change we are no longer in the 1900's. We are super woman and we got power! Cheer up you don't need trashy man because you rule and you are a 👑 queen.

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    • yet she wants them, she doesn't want guys that treat her nice. If girls wanted guys that treated them well then there would be no assholes. want change? gotta focus both ends of a burning rope or you burn up all the rope ya have left. There is a great article written by julia serano a trans woman looking from both side that explains why girls like jerks and why guys become jerks for girls and many other issues like the entire predator/prey double standard.

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    • @theflash675 That's too quick for you to judge that life of @Priscilla93's son would be hell, She said she doesn't need a man, not that she hates them, & probably that's because she doesn't see much of them good enough as per her ideal standards or as per what she expects good men to be or whatsoever... and I'm quite sure that any determined, independent woman who has a sense of how an ideal man should be & what he shouldn't be like would raise her son in a way that's much needed in today's world unlike majority people "generally" raising their sons to be either douchebags or weak pretentious 'nice guys'.

    • "Man are jerks and think they can step on women" she was generalizing in multiple replies, as you are with "nice guys" thats the problem i have, generalizations. Sexism goes both ways and is rooted closely with racism psychologically. I already talked to her on another post though, she had a bad experience with her father and i had some remorse for her outlook. She cleared up that its not all men.

  • Its all about the drive they give you, sometimes those guys who treat girls poorly, gives us motivation to be challenged. They are guys who make you think and do crazy

    While the other way around, even we like to be treated great, i think its just that we are exerting effort, and its defleating our energy. I mean in that side, we are the one thinking, of ruling out. Its not healthy to take the lead always

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  • You have low self esteem like me.

    Take a break from relationships and try to build your self esteem.

    Take my word for it sis. Or you'll end up like me.

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    • I know man can be disgusting and can say awful bad things. They think just because we are girls that they are MR. I rule the world. Hell NO! This is 2018 we are super woman we don't need a fucking dick ruining our lives. Girl power same reason why I am single, Why because man are douche bags.

  • Probably you lack some excitement because you consider your life boring.

    Nice guys, even though they are nice, are often too quiet and friendly, it makes them uninteresting

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    • Shallow women be like

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    • Ur talking about the second one right?

    • difference between similar and nice, very clear difference.

  • don't worry. you will change when you learn your lesson

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  • Lack of self love. from experience I have in college. I don't date any guys in college since it pointless. most of guys in college only want to hock a woman to there selfless need and they only do it for attention. players are broken. Younger woman want to tame that bad guy but that not how real life work. treat it like a game you have to win to move on.

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  • You like the idea of changing them to love you and exclude the world. Humans love being special.

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  • Nothing, considering your age I will say you're just still figuring this out

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  • There's a saying: "We accept the love we think we deserve". Maybe that's why some immediately become disinterested and a little creeped when someone "treats us right". They begin having doubts if the person is sincere or even real because we don't see ourselves worthy enough (or you're simply not interested kek). Maybe you haven't come to terms with yourself that you're someone that's worth being treated like an equal. But maybe you're just a big M haha. I don't know your life story but keep that saying in mind :)

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  • Same for me. I like to be treated bad.
    I dont know the reasons for you, but i can say i have daddy issues, self esteem issues etc etc so maybe they could be the reasons

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    • Go find your dad and beat him up take all your anger out. I will help you beat him up with you if you like

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    • Sorry for all those notifications lol

  • Probably because you are afraid of commitment and sharing your feelings. With these kinds of guys you have no responsibilities in the relationship

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  • maybe u like the challenge - trying to get the fuck boy to actually fall for you. realize that you’re worth more than that. see a bad sign? leave before it gets bad.

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  • could it be their appearance?
    stop for a moment and think about how physically attracted you were to each one without knowing their personality.

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  • Hmm, well it may be you are just very submissive.
    You definitely got issues tho.

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  • People tend to want the apple thats almost impossible to catch. On the top. The best ones for them. Some settle for an ordinary one who is easier to catch but others obsess over stuff like this.

    To be clear the problem is your lack of self love. The moment the bad distant guy fall for you and treat you right you will lose interest. Maybe you dont see why a man could want you so it must be something wrong with him. If he ignores you then he has got to be worthy it.

    Maybe Im wrong. But my opinion comes from personal experience. Sorry if I said something bad.

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  • You aren’t mature enough for a relationship

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  • Ask the expert @coolbreeze. xx

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  • What a troll, can't believe this can be real

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  • Canceling plans is getting treated badly?

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