Does it mean I am unattractive if I am never hit on?

Question

I am 23 and I have never dated/had a boyfriend. I don't go to bars or go clubbing but I never get hit on when I go out in public (and before someone asks me, no I am not fat or out of shape-I am 5'4 and 120 lbs). I feel so sad hearing from other girls who go out anywhere and have guys asking for their number or flirting with them but this almost never happens to me anywhere I go. I have never had a guy ask for my number or give me his card before. I rarely have a guy come up to me and tell me I am very attractive. I feel so unwanted and I feel so forever alone. Sometimes I don't even feel like going out because I already think that I won't meet a guy since it hasn't happened for me.

ChurchOfIron · Accepted Answer

Most guys don't do cold approaches. Especially in the West, where women have more and more inspired fear and resentment towards men who invade women's comfort levels. I think most Western men's perception of cold approaching is, "I'm terrified that she will assume I'm being a creep, then scream, or throw a drink in my face."

You also have to be open with your body language. You have to invite a guy to come say hi, with your eyes and posture. Open body language. No crossed arms or turning away, maybe a smile. If you are shy, that shows in your body language and tells men, "I'm not interested--keep away." either consciously or subconsciously.

But, it could very well mean you're unattractive, to be brutally honest. It could. But I also know a lot of very attractive women who have never even been asked out. My current girlfriend is exactly like that. She looks like a fucking model, and is a 23 year old virgin who has never had anything, like you. So, just because you haven't had any of that, doesn't mean you are unattractive. It *could* suggest it, but it doesn't *say* that, outright.

On the same hand, it could suggest you are super hot. When guys see a super hot woman, they tend to put them on a pedestal. "Oh, she'd never go for a guy like me. She probably has celebrities hitting on her. She probably only dates rich model-like guys."

Guys don't like competition. If a lot of women like a guy, it makes other women like him. But, if a lot of men like a woman, it discourages men, because it's a lot of competition.

So, it could suggest you are super hot, ugly, or you have closed off body language, or that you are not going into environments where a lot of men are.

Damn this is a good answer.

ausmaster · Accepted Answer

Here's the thing, those are the girls who attract the cocky guys.

If you want guys to start approaching, you need to let them know the shop is open. Like, if you just look like a building, no one is going to approach you. But you need a sign that says who you are and then you need an "open" sign to be like "BOYS COME ON IN".
I guarantee you since you're a girl, you will find at least someone that approaches you. Guys have to deal with competing with each other. Let the shop be open and see who comes shopping. ;D

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

If the definition of attractive is how many people you "attract" then yes? But cheer up, there is more than attracting people who may end up lying to you and breaking your heart. Just be yourself and when you see someone worth attracting, go get them. Most guys at bars and clubs aren't looking for anything serious. Honestly attractiveness is often just how "inviting" you appear to be. So if you want to be more inviting just smile more, laugh louder, and start conversations with guys about whatever, they'll take the hint.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Same girl... I think it’s just being a bit more reserved? Guys are usually looking for the girls who are flaunting their presence.
Before anyone asks, yes I’ve asked guys out, I’m the friendzoned one, not the guys in my life 🙄 too friendly, my mum says, I need to stop being so understanding all the time...
I don't know, I think you’re just fine—120 is a good weight. I think you’re probably just a bit like me—friendly, and maybe a bit reserved in the sense you don’t go to parties or clubbing.

Desconhecida · Answer

Maybe you are giving the wrong signs when you go out. You need to look approachable and carefree. People are attracted by a positive happy vibe.

Anonymous · Answer

If you dont socialize a lot or go out much , then you won't run into many people and naturally , you won't get asked out or flirted with. If you really wanna be noticed you have to go out more to places you like and be around the kind of people you want around you. You don't have to meet guys at clubs or bars , usually people go there for hookups. Maybe at university or work you can meet some people. Just strike up a conversation with guys , girls whatever the point is to make friends and know more people. Be friendly and smile while you are talking and try to make the person feel relaxed.
Work on your insecurities too , dont say 'no one hits on me therefore I am unattractive ' look , no one goes up to someone out of the blue and flirts hardcore with them unless they look like the type of person that wants that kind of thing. And I can assure you , you can find guys without having to get flirted with often.
As for finding someone especially for a serious relationship or a date you have to put in effort into how you feel about yourself so you feel ready to put yourself out there and be confident in who you are as a person , and you have to also make yourself known and present and talk to guys. If you like a guy be around him , talk to him and show him you are interested in him that way.
We all give off a part of our personality through how we talk , how we present ourselves and how we dress , the kind of words we use and the topics we bring up , the kind of conversation we like having and so on. Show the positive parts of yourself to people and most importantly show the fact that you're open to meeting new people and going to places, that signals to guys that you're interested in going out and not too shy to not go out with them.

BigByrd47119 · Answer

Socially culture has changed. Men can feel intimidated going up to a woman and starting conversations to begin with never mind this new era where everyone is worried they'll offend someone. Also the places you go have a big impact on whether or not you'll draw that sort of attention.

Anonymous · Answer

No, 120 is prefect weight to be. It sound like your attitude is the problem. You don't go out of your way and try to talk to guys, so that's why you don't have a boyfriend because you're accustom to just sitting in back and not trying to talk to guys. You became comfortable of just being the girl that just sits in the back and you're afraid to go up to a guy ask out and succeed. You're not afraid of failing you're afraid of success.

ericclayton · Answer

Usually men underestimate themselves and are super intimidated by very attractive women. And then these women don't get approached because of this and start to have issues like "am I attractive enough". You're prob super hot, and this is what's going on. Trust me.

GingerGuy · Answer

No not necessarily. We have all the same thoughts feelings and insecurities you women do about approaching, yet we're "expected" to be the ones to do it. So fear of rejection does stop us, and often. May have nothing at all to do with you.

theviolent1 · Answer

I'm actually always getting asked out due to me conversating with lots of people.. I believe to actually get someone to ask you out is by talking to them more and MAYBE asking them out. It isn't that hard once you get the hang of it.

Cosytoasty · Answer

Well if you don't go out to places where guys feel safe hitting on girls then chances are you won't be. Outright hitting on a girl in public is rather taboo these days.

Elizabeth739 · Answer

Be unfazed girl and don't worry about it. You're probably really beautiful and people are just scared to come up to you. And some guys are even scared of rejection.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you dont smile a lot, just smile to people to make them feel comfortable initiating conversation with you, i believe every girl is beautiful, go to places you like and focus on yourself, make yourself happy and this is super attractive to be happy on your own, dont faje happiness as some do, try to be really happy and cheerful

PeterB1517 · Answer

Perhaps you are giving out a hostile vibe by facial expression, body language, and short interactions for example when a guy goes up to say hi to a group of you.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Not really. I'm a virgin at 40 and I've never been hit on (except mainly by girls I have no interest in). I don't feel like going out much either, although that has more to do with the crime situation in my country. So you are not alone.

Awareness · Answer

Go on dating sites and find the guy for you. We are waiting for women to find us or we find them at an online dating site. If you don't like dating sites, then ask a guy out that you like and is single that you know of.

Jerre · Answer

You need to find out where the other girls are when someone makes a pass at them. If you don’t socialize, visit bars or pubs where people your age hangout, chances are no one will take notice of you. You don’t have to drink to socialize like that.

Josh13 · Answer

The problem is most girls think the only way to get a boyfriend is wait for them to show up. (I'm not saying this is you) If a girl sees a guy they think is attractive, then ask them out! We don't always have to initiate it.

4nication · Answer

I have no idea, since I don't know what you look like.

AbdKilani · Answer

Hi  26 never dated.  It means nothing, it just means that you seem as too good looking, that most guys would avoid you.

Proz11 · Answer

You rarely? So you still get guys coming up to you telling you that you are attractive, that is more attention than most guys get.

AllGirlsAreBeautiful · Answer

Yes that is possible but I can't comment without looking at you because in present world no guys can left any attractive girl alone they bang in just age of 14 or 16

Maxemeister · Answer

I have a mindblowing idea for you: Turn the tables. Ask a guy out.

Lance1965 · Answer

Not at all. Sometimes it is just a matter of being in the right place at the right time. Some people are lucky, some are not.

franklin1989 · Answer

It’s because you’re a real woman who respects herself. Finding a real man takes time. A real man isn’t going to hit on you and any weak man is going to see that you’re not into flings

Jalaco · Answer

It isn't only physical looks, it can be attitude, style, a lot of other things. All in all it is how you represent yourself in public

sid96 · Answer

Everyone is beautiful. Don't be depressed/sad. I'm 22 years old and I have never dated anyone. The most important thing is that you should love yourself.

splingydude · Answer

No. In fact you could be too attractive. Dress down then up and judge results

Skali9119Liska · Answer

Maybe you look like a girl who doesn’t want to be approached by guys 🤷‍♂️

KatnCat · Answer

Maybe you are pretty but you might look very young so guys don’t want to

OralMayhem · Answer

Hmmm... Without a picture it's hard to say what the problem is...

hotstuffSRD · Answer

Let's go out sometime  Now calm down  It'll happen

madisonshelby · Answer

Try tinder for a while. If it doesn’t work out then maybe you should start talking to guys first instead of waiting for someone to come to you :/

aialex · Answer

Here's an idea. Why don't you hit on them instead?

Anonymous · Answer

Be glad that you are a girl, you don't have to be the one to initiate the interaction

avni09 · Answer

Ofcourse not. when the time is right it would all happen for you.

SolidusRyebread2 · Answer

Maybe you're SO cute every guy thinks they are unworthy of your time

Anonymous · Answer

No. It could just mean the girls around you are more attractive.

Anonymous · Answer

well, it won't happen by staying home. you gotta put yourself out there. like getting a job

nameisunknown · Answer

Ok so.. Can i have your number? ^.-

happyfox · Answer

They might, you may just not notice it

Sarisalive · Answer

No, it doesn't mean you're unattractive

Chaoseverywhere · Answer

yeah even i get hit on by dudes

NerdInDenial · Answer

You can always do those “Rate me” polls..

eli9876 · Answer

i think guys have this problem more

Anonymous · Answer

Yes you ugly son of a bitch.

jimmy2 · Answer

Oh sweetheart you sound so lovely

wandererr · Answer

Kik me darklandrunner

marilynmansonssextoy · Answer

Not really

SwoleCook · Answer

Probably

CT_CD · Answer

Probably

MisterSir · Answer

yeah..

Does it mean I am unattractive if I am never hit on?

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I never get hit on, does that mean am unattractive?

Does it mean I am unattractive if I am never hit on?

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I never get hit on, does that mean am unattractive?

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