You didn't hold attraction with him.. Think about it - in the same situation if you both wanted to kiss each other but yet "something" kept you from doing so, you'd probably want to kiss him even more.. E.g. If he were to not have kissed you that night and instead waited, letting you dwell about what it would be like to kiss him..
The thing that, I believe, happened is that you had all these wonderful expectations for how great you'd feel when you kissed him.. But in turn, those feelings weren't satisfied because there was no tension in the situation.
Every time I think about lust/love/etc, I get butterflies, but when I don't feel those butterflies - it explains exactly what you are talking about.. That "feeling" of neutrality.
So when would you feel the same? For me, I'd feel TONS of butterflies for someone that I was strongly attracted to, but those butterflies would be non-existent with a friend.. So here you are, you like this guy a lot, you're wanting to kiss him, then BOOM!.. The kiss happens? It's almost like you get what you want right then and there, as if he's your personal butler.. There's no fun in that for me.
I want TENSION! I want EXCITEMENT!.. I want to doubt that she wants to kiss me.. Get my drift? I want to feel as if she COULD be interested, not that she is.. Because then it's absolute.. But when she "could" it leaves a SMALL hint of doubt in my mind.. That doubt is like the perfect seasoning to go with my meal, without it my meal would be bland and boring.. I want that SPICE.. that kick in the pants that I made a damn good meal.
Hope it helps,
ArtistBBoy
It may be like everyone says and that you aren't really that attracted to him. It's also possible that you liked him and wanted him to be what you thought he was, then, when you saw he was excited and shaken, it turned you off. Many girls want a guy who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it. If that sounds like you, then he may or may not have that type of personality locked up behind his insecurities. Are you willing to wait around to find out? One of the main problems with developing relationships is both guys and girls want to be chased. So his nervousness and excitement may have been because he was unsure if you really wanted him to kiss you.
The other possibility is that you are attracted to him on a physical level but he just doesn't have the type of personality you are looking for. Being excited to kiss someone who is hot is a lot of fun, but if you've done it before, you get to the point where you realize that what you really want is someone who is hot AND has the type of personality that you click with. Then you may or may not get butterflies, but you will feel very attracted and attached to that person.
I have no feelings after the kiss. What does it mean?
This is a question that often plagues people after they've experienced a lackluster kiss. There are a few possible explanations for why you might not feel anything after a kiss. Maybe the kiss was just not that good. Maybe you're not attracted to the person you were kissing. Or maybe you're just not a very physical person.
Whatever the reason, if you find yourself not feeling anything after a kiss, don't worry. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. You're just not feeling a connection with that person. And that's okay.
this is exactly what happened to me on my first kiss a week ago! He's had many girlfriends but he openly admitted that he was nervous about kissing me. we have been best friends for years and recently I've liked him more then a friend (although I think he likes me more then I like him) he was so nervous and excited and I was.. well.. giggly but calm. I couldn't really swoop in for the kiss so I was glad he took over and kissed me.
But I realized there was no spark at all. it was like he was softly squishing my lips (it was like a prolonged peck. no tongue) I don't know if I did it wrong. I felt light headed after the kiss but a little disappointied on how boring it was. if anybody could give me advice of any sort it would be helpful. I'm glad I'm not the only one having this problem..
From my past experience, it is a lack of chemistry. Can't be found with every guy you kiss. Even ones you like. Had that happen to me. The guy was near perfect, and we got along soooooo great. I liked him so much. But the first time he kissed me was like kissing my brother (no - never really done that) - nothing there. Ugh. Maybe it would improve, but I felt it wouldn't if after all this time it wasn't there.
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Could be nerves about making yourself "vulnerable" to him as well as simply not being attracted/excited by him.
I think it differs from each situation. For example, my first kiss happened in a playground and I wasn’t even aware that it was gonna happen (not mentally prepared to receive a kiss) therefore when I was kissed, I felt shocked and not electrifying/ excited to kiss the guy since we weren’t clear of our feelings towards each other, there is too much complications when things started. But when things started going on between us (dating) I began to feel more and more attracted to him, the kiss felt better each time I try it. It gives off a little electrifying tingles in my body when it happens and I was happy and satisfied with it. Another scenario would be when I went clubbing, guys would kiss me, this time round, I felt nothing, it’s just flesh to flesh kind of feels, no matter how many more times they try to kiss me it doesn’t feel better, it just feels sloppy. Hence in my opinion I feel that to experience the passion in a kiss, stimulations are needed, someone needs to create some form of sexual tension, the receiver must be willing to accept for the electrifying effect to happen since our brain is so good at classifying who is suitable for us.
It likely means you'll cheat on him. No joke.
Mostly only irrational fools think the first kiss will tell them anything common sense and rationale won't.
Since you keyed on the bigguns I'll focus on the obvious. You either 1) KNEW that kiss was going to happen, and therefore there was no real anticipation, or 2) you didn't experience the chemistry you expected based on initial attraction and had over built the anticipation, leading to a letdown during the kiss.
Either way, you'll fuck some other schmuck the first chance you get, so leave this poor schlub alone. He deserves better. And you probably do too.
Well you expected to much thanks to TV. All a kiss is, is what you described. No fireworks no heart beating out of your chest.
As for no tongue most people like a first kiss to be nice like that. Not to huge and there are so many stories of girls hating that a guy kissed her with tongue on the first time.
He gave you a nice kiss and sometimes kisses are boring, but they lead to more a lot so that is what makes it excitting and connecting with someone so intimately and emotionally.
You though physically when there is not much physical happening.
I have had great kisses and chemistry with a terrible girlfreind but still that first kiss was just plain and sweet so we did it again and did not finish till we were both naked. Big mistake
I think it could be a few reasons, one you had some type of magical expectation because he was hot and interesting and that probably clouded your mind and emotions. I remember I kissed a guy, I felt nothing. He was amazing with his hands and dick but when it came to kissing me, it wasn't right. The other reason is probably because you we're as attracted to him as you though you were. Or possibly that their was no physical connection.
should be mean physical contact does not touch you as much as mental/soul related things
like in this case probably the kiss should have happened a few dates after, before that you 2 should have got the time to get in touch more in deep soul related conversations that creates the bond rather than having a quick emotionless sex
u The way you describe it is a relationship killer if you have no feelings when kissing that’s very odd if you’re really attracted to somebody like him you automatically would have feelings by kissing unless he’s the worlds worst kisser then you better teach him how to kiss properly
Sometimes we are not as attractes to people as we first thought. It happens. Maybe part of you can tell he is not quite what he seems, or maybe you just were not as in to him as you thought. At least you gave it a shot!
Lol i ain't ever felt nothing while kissing anyone so i really don't know how you're judging a future realtionship off of a feeling on a kiss, maybe you're bad at it or he's or you both have different types of lips making it hard to kiss eachother, who knows but not everyone you kiss you will just be horny for, but if your a guy thats easy for us.
Probably you don't have feelings for him, at least that's how I measure it. Like if I don't feel butterflies and nervous before I go meet up with the guy, I knew already that it won't work and surely it didn't. Your body is telling you something.
It's really not a good sign. I've always believed a woman knows with the first kiss whether the connection is romantic or just friendly. You should have gotten butterflies if it was right.
That's great example for reality vs expectation, maybe you have second thoughts or your mind is in another place, one more chance if there is no feelings from your side call this relation off, won't be pretty relation on the long run
If you didn't feel anything with the kiss it may mean you two might be meant to be just friends.Sounds like no chemistry because he could kiss another girl and she may have a total different opinion than you do. Either its there or its not..and it don't sound like its not there for you on that level
It's possible to not have attraction, towards (who u consider) a physically attractive person.
He looks good, but u don't "vibe" with him
I used to feel the same way with my ex boyfriend, and I realized that there was no chemistry between us. I ended up breaking up with him..
It means you're not really into it or attracted to him. Your body, and it's reactions don't lie. I would stop seeing him. This has happened to me before and the attraction didn't grow over time. Turned out to be a waste of both of our's time.
@ArtistBboy is right.
You’ve built him up, put him on a shinny pedestal and the kiss just left you disappointed.
The best part of dating is the thrill of the chase and the unknown, not expectation.
Damn, my skin would be burning for more, my heart would be exploding and I would lose my mind. Are you sure you feel attracted to him?
He is not the one.
No reaction is not a good thing.
He may feel the same way about you.
Might be time to have that uncomfortable talk.
It means the chemistry is not there. That is something that can never be forced.
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