I can't stop calling him or texting him!

[ciaralouise15]

My first love of 7 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He said he was not happy in our relationship and that we argued too much. He says he loves me but that he does not want a relationship with me anymore. Since then I have been in absolute pieces. Even contemplated suicide. I keep calling him like 10 times a day and crying and pleading with him to not give up on us. He does not budge yet I can't concentrate on anything but him. Its been 3 hours now and I have not called him yet I feel I'm about to at any minute. Every time I do he just tells me I'm out of order and I shouldn't be calling him. He does not want to be friends and he said he is happy without me. He has been hanging out with his mates alt and drinking and I'm very jealous. I feel so needy but the thing is I am. I love him, he is my best friend and I can't make it an hour without speaking to him never mind try and get over him. It does not help that I have no friends and my mum and dad have never felt heart ache. I feel so alone and I keep turning to him! HELP!

[marley86]

I know exactly what you are going through, and I can understand what you are feeling right now must be very painful. I did the same thing, called him over and over and just couldn't stop. He was my second real boyfriend, and hadn't been given very much advice on what not to do after a breakup. Calling him constantly is just going to remind him of the negative aspects of being in a relationship. Not contacting, might make him really start to realize that he does miss you. He can't think about missing you when he is frustrated about you continuing to call him. In order to salvage things for now, I would send him a text and say: hey I see now that you don't want to talk, so I will give you some space. sorry about all the phone calls. if you want to ever talk you know where to find me. Or say something similar to that. I know this isn't something that you want to do, but you have to come out looking more calm about it. Chances are he is also telling his friends you won't stop calling either, so they are probably further cheering him on and creating notions about you. My boyfriend was my best friend to and it was such an awful pain that I felt. You have to keep yourself busy! Be around people! Be alone as little as possible. I went out with my friends and eventually it got better. I think if I would of been more calm and collected we would of gotten back together, but I ruined one of the best relationships I have had to this date. It has almost been five years, and I still can't get over him 100%.

[chrissyla8706]

how did you ruin your relationship?

[marley86]

I called him too much after we brokeup and didn't give him enough space. Then, because I was so angry at him, I blew the opportunity to make things work again when he was ready to talk by ignoring him.

[ciaralouise15]

i have only spoken to him once today when I collected the rest of my stuff from my flat. I will not phone him again but its sooooooo hard at night to just not even text him and ask if he is OK. he is by himself and I worry so badly. I think your advice is the right thing to do though. I'm going to stop and pray it makes him see sense. the hardest thing though is if I do stop and he doesn't care, I'm not sure if that will destroy me more.

[marley86]

I know what you mean about night being the worse, and I had problems with that too. Writing down my thoughts, drawing, calling a friend, etc. were some of the ways I kept myself busy. So, brainstorm what keeps you distracted. Try not focusing too much on "what ifs" right now. Focusing on potential hurt in the future could be bad.

[costumerchx]

She's totally right. I was having such bad anxiety attacks when I woke in the morning and when I went to bed at night (hard to sleep alone now, hey? Not used to that, it's the worst!) I went to the doctor, because I had started teaching at a university the day after my common law left me. He prescribed xanex but that's addictive. Try St.John's wort. It's herbal and it works. That or rescue remedy spray, also herbal, and makes a big difference with the anxiety and slow long days.

[ciaralouise15]

I got him back! thank you for all your advice, we are happier than ever. X

[Anonymous]

I am exactly in your situation too... I texted him compulsively and called him because I was so heartbroken and he doesn't even respond... Even if I kept myself busy all day, then at night I couldn't control myself cus I needed him so much... I feel like I lost my chances of ever getting him back because of how I showed to him I needed him desperately... But he had always told me to just let him know how I feel always and that he's not the kind of guy who needs "space" so I got used to it. Guess it wasn't true... I haven't texted/called him since yesterday so maybe I'm starting to come around but I still love him and want him back and sad that I fucked it up by not being able to control my emotions... I can't really give you much advice but I can say that you are not alone... and although you may not have friends I wish you well and hope you find peace and joy.

[chantelsunshine50]

When my boyfriend of four years broke up with me I was devestated. I called and texted him like 30 times a day I was going crazy! I know exactly how you feel I wanted to comit scuicide too! all I can say is that just makse the situation worse and you need to quit it and move on because you are only hurting yourself this way sweetie. Trust me I felt like domeone ripped my heart out and stomped on it. But the world doesn't end because a relationship ends. you move on eventually and you will be happy!

[brianccc]

Omggggggg I hate this guy and I don't even know who he is Hahahhahah... Thanks fr the story though lol, I camt offer any good advice because I'm only 16

[ciaralouise15]

thats OK. I was 16 when I met him. id love to be that age again.

[Anonymous]

The ONLY way to get him back right now or to start to miss you at all is to NOT call him again! EVER! Don't email, don't text, don't call because that's obviously getting you nowhere - you have to make him MISS you and how can he when you are calling him so much? I KNOW its hard I'm going through something similar and that's what we girls do, we call, we beg, we think our lives are over because the pain is SO STRONG you feel like you want to die. But I promise you if you give him a chance to MISS you then he will call you. He will see what he lost.

[Anonymous]

Taking my ex's number out of my phone was the smartest thing I ever did. Believe me. Not contacting him is the only way you can possibly have another chance at him coming back. If you continue to contact him it will push him further away until it's too late. Stop right now. If you suddenly stop with no explanation and he doesn't hear from you for weeks it will throw him off guard. Right now he knows you're waiting around for him and that's not going to work in your favor. Trust me.

[WEEZIE]

I went through the same thing not so long ago. Actually almost 2 months ago - he actually cheated on me... I can relate and I know the pain that you are feeling. You can't eat, you cant' sleep you can't live.

I got to this website, which I'm following now and to be honest it actually helps alot. howtogetbackanexboyfriend

i haven't got to that stage where I have got my ex back but I'm working on it very hard.

Good luck I know what you are going through.

[Anonymous]

How did you get him back?