Should people even try to date if they are broke?

[coachTanthony]

Should people even try to date if they are broke?

YES (leave comment)

NO (leave comment)

Other (leave comment)

[guy222]

I would say yes! I'm a broke college student and so is my boyfriend, but there are plenty of things to do for little to no cost for dates. It is actually kind of fun sometimes the things we come up with. Some of the easier things though:

- go to a local park and walk around or swim in the river
- get free samples at Costco (I'm not broke enough that I can't have a Costco membership, just the basic $55 one)
- hit up the discounted or free summer movies at a movie theater
- use coupons (for example, at my local Fred Meyer, I can buy a 20 oz. bottle of soda for $1.79, and on the back of the receipt they always have Dairy Queen BOGO blizzard coupon and a coupon for a $4.99 chicken strip basket; depending on what you get at Fred Meyer too, the receipt is usually long enough for at least two each of those coupons)

The possibilities are endless. It's just a matter of getting the imagination juices flowing!

[Logorithim]

Yes, you can still have fun on cheap dates. Every city has free stuff going on every weekend or you can throw a frisbee around in the park and have a picnic.

[Logorithim]

Thanks for the MHO

[Leimarie]

Yes, because it is a great way to tell who actually wants to be with you for you, and not for what you can offer them! Plus, even dates that are on a budget can be so much fun if they are with the right person! I’ve been on coffee dates, walks in the park or mall, local festivals, movie nights in, ice cream or boba dates... you name it. If the company is good, it doesn’t matter what we end up doing.

[Leimarie]

Thanks for MHO! ☺️

[StingRayxoxo]

That depends on the type of connection there is. When I was really worried about finances and getting myself through college, I wasn't dating. That wasn't the whole reason but that was a part of it.
If the man that was interested in dating me was ok with that, it may not have been a problem. I can't see having brought that up though.

[Jamie05rhs]

"If the man... was ok with that.". So how would you explain that to them? If a guy asked you out, I assume you would turn them down automatically, right? Because you didn't have time to date. So how would they know? If it was me, I would just think she didn't like me.

Also, what would it look like practically speaking to date someone but not date them?

[StingRayxoxo]

I would just say, thank you but I'm not in a financial position to date/have a relationship right now. It would be a bit shameful but I wouldn't want him to just assume that I didn't like him.
If he's into outdoorsy type of dates-- hiking, parks, sports-- then it would work out better. Those are cheap/free and we could pack a picnic.

I'm not sure I quite understand your last question.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ohh. So you would still date the person; you just wouldn't go out to eat at restaurants pretty much. And I understanding that correctly?

[Jamie05rhs]

I mean "am"

[StingRayxoxo]

At that time in my life, there were other factors that kept me from doing so.
But yes!

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. But yeah, you did say time (or the lack thereof) was an obstacle as well.

[StingRayxoxo]

Thanks for MHO

[jennifer_bloom]

In all my relationships - we spent money on each other - but I would have been content even if no money was exchanged. I had a best friend in grade school that I had known for 16 years and in 16 years of being best friends we only spent a total of $50 on each other. We did free activities like playing monopoly over the phone, biking to our favourite park, swimming in the local pool, reading books at the library, talking on the phone, playing computer games at each others houses, playing Nintendo at each other's houses. If your creative - there are very cheap or free ways to entertain yourself without spending cash. I had another friend and we didn't spend money on each other either - we played pool which was free for those who lived in the apartment complex, we went swimming which was also free for those who lived in the apartment, we listened to music and talked about the guys we liked and we played cards with each other and talked about our lives.

[Jamie05rhs]

You played Monopoly over the phone? ... but how? Lol

[jennifer_bloom]

@Jamie05rhs Neither of us lied so we played it over the phone.

[Jamie05rhs]

I have so much respect for that! You guys are awesome!

[Jamie05rhs]

I've thought about that a lot, and I've come to the conclusion that you should still search for your spouse even if you're not ready to get married right now. But that's probably because I believe in the concept of the soulmate. Others may disagree with me if they ascribe to the philosophy of perfect timing in that you could be right for someone but you're not ready to get married at the same time and therefore you never unite. And I wouldn't say they're completely wrong; I just think that maybe somebody could meet someone who isn't actually ready yet, or maybe they both aren't ready yet, but they see the potential in each other and they believe in the magic of love enough to give it a chance and see where things go, even if that means waiting for a period of time before their paths in life fully align. In other words, you could meet the person before the perfect time when everything fits together perfectly, and you just wait and prepare for the time that it does, all the while getting to know that person and building a relationship.

[AynonOMouse]

They need to be able to support themselves and have a little spending money left each month in order to date otherwise a relationship (not a hook up) isn't realistic.
And the woman needs the same. She needs to pay his way sometimes too. Her paying her half isn't good enough. The ones that think them paying for themselves sometimes and the guy pays for both sometimes, but she never pays for both, those ones are just sexist and deserve nobody. Be fair to each other and realize that both people need to bring something to the relationship.

[coachTanthony]

Good points!

[5yrup]

um yeah? plenty of ways to have fun without spending a penny... parks. museums, window shopping, exploring, free gigs? i feel sorry for anyone who isn't equipped to live life on the cheap side because it's always more fun than standard dinner and a movie.

[5yrup]

i have no idea why so many people view dating as a sort of performance, and judging performance based on how much each other can spend. i don't have to spent shit on you, besides my own travel to visit you. i want someone to value the actual time spent with me.

[coachTanthony]

Why do people comment then comment on their comment? Any particular reason? Just curious! I am seeing more and more of this.

[5yrup]

because i thought of more stuff to say.

[coachTanthony]

Oh okay cool!

[Jamie05rhs]

^Exactly. It's when you have a main point and then you have amendments. ... And I think a lot of people also do it intentionally because they don't want their main post to be TLDR.

[coachTanthony]

@Jamie05rhs Amendments usually come later right?

[Jamie05rhs]

@coachTanthony Not always! Lol. See the Bill of Rights.

[coachTanthony]

@Jamie05rhs My point is that her comments were less than a minute apart.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay, but see my other explanation.

[coachTanthony]

@Jamie05rhs I understand that bunching up words is not pleasing to the eyes.

But as I have done here.

You can make your own paragraphs.

[5yrup]

sorry but why do you care so much

i already explained that i thought of more stuff to say, so added it

...

[coachTanthony]

They were less then a minute apart so not sure that makes sense but whatever. More and more keep doing this so just trying to figure it out!

[5yrup]

i just typed really fast? o___O

[coachTanthony]

Just keep in mind I personally get a ton of notifications. If everyone did what you did... my notifications would be in the thousands !

So I’m trying to figure out if it’s done on purpose to stand out more or not. Not saying you did that but in general.

[5yrup]

no like i've already said two times it's because i wanted to say more

[5yrup]

i only get 1 notification every 5 minutes lol

[Alice2398]

Depends I've been on way to many dates with guys who were broke and it was always really bad and they acted really shifty and as if they didn't know how to take good care or responsibility for themselves. When you're on the first couple dates I see it as basically selling yourself to someone and trying to impress them so they invest there time in you and guys who full out just say "i'm broke" on a date aren't really selling themselves, no ones going to invest in a failings business so logically why would you invest on a failing person maybe if they had a backup plan and the debt would soon be paid off but It just always baffles me how people can get themselves in that bad of a state but they can't even afford basic things yet he can pay to go out and get pissed up with his friends.

I want a man who's got his shit together or it just causes toxic problems in a relationship, if you can even handle your money how can you handle your own life.

[Jamie05rhs]

Pardon the ignorance, but what does "pissed up" mean?

[Alice2398]

@Jamie05rhs getting drunk

[Jamie05rhs]

Ohhh. ... Well, everything you said up until that point I wasn't sure about. But after reading that, I agree with you one hundred percent. That shows a lack of priorities. Also, alcohol is really expensive, so that's probably why they're broke.

[PinkMichae]

No. Dates don't always have to cost a lot of money. You can make sandwiches and go to the beach, park, have a dinner date at either ones house, go for a cup of coffee. Just because some women or maybe even men are high maintenance doesn't mean everyone is.

[coachTanthony]

Well you are describing one date... question is date in general? I get we can all come up with cost effective dates but you ain't making sammys for every date are ya?

[PinkMichae]

I'm saying not all people will refuse to date you if you are to broke to take them on dates. Some people are fine with just hanging out together. In the beginning of my relationship we went out on 1 date. After that we were both broke and just hung out and fell in love. And that one date didn't cost to much. Tbh I would have been just as happy with him taking the time to make us a picnic.

Now if you're so broke that you're homeless. Maybe you should wait till you get back on your feet some. I think dating would be the last thing on your mind.

[coachTanthony]

True fair enough!

[iiyookii]

Yeah, there's plenty of places you can go without spending a single penny, and if your girl is understanding enough, she might actually pay the bill, dating someone doesn't really mean fully commiting, right? But if it's something like marriage, you have to make sure that you're both financially stable.

[morimeme1]

Well, you can sure try but the success rate will be small, sure I love cheap dates with my boyfriend but when you are just getting to know someone it is a bit different. But honestly, if you can't figure out how to pay your bills, then you should sort your life out before trying to bring someone else into it.

[EuropeanChick1]

does this apply only to men?

[morimeme1]

It is easier for women to date while broke as many men prefer to pay, but the part about getting your life together first really should apply to women as well.

[EuropeanChick1]

half of men prefer to pay
the other half would have played half

[morimeme1]

That is already about a half more than women willing to pay.

[AndrewMG]

If poor people were encouraged not to date we'd have no boxers, we'd lose most of our sporting stars, pretty much every influential musical artist, we'd have no Charles Dickens, lose thousands of influential writers/poets etc and so on and so on. Because as a rule these people have come from working class families. The working classes have had a far more positive influence on creative/influential culture than people with money. On the other hand rich people have created greed, poverty, the fact 1% of the wealthiest people have more than 50 % of wealth of the population, so I'd suggest before we stop broke people dating we should stop greedy f*cks dating.

[StingRayxoxo]

Clever way of looking at it.

[Jamie05rhs]

What does that have to do with dating, though?

[AndrewMG]

@Jamie05rhs Because if people don't date then they don't procreate. Love/relationships are not begun with a dollar/pound sign! If Charles Dickens, Malcolm X, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Muhammed Ali etc parents had been told not to date because they were broke, then we would not of had the product of their offsprings. There is literally no connection between wealth/class and ability to love. If history has taught us anything it's that the upper classes have been more corrupt/more incestuous and the bigger detriment to the welfare of the world. And I talk as someone who has worked his whole life and has money he's earnt, but I'm team Underdog every day of the week.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ahhh. I get it now. Babies.

[MrConceptkitten]

I think the more people worry about that the more you have to spend.
In my 20s girls would obsess over me and buy me drinks, dinner, give me sex and blow jobs.
Then I started to worry. I thought, “Oh no. I’m older now. I have to be a gentleman.” Now where are all the women? They left because I decided to worry too much. I mean, we should have consciences as human beings but we can’t worry too much or we don’t get the ladies.
We have to earn each other. Women shouldn’t be the only ones raised on the pedestal.
If she goes up there then you climb up there too and make sure that there is enough room. If there is no room then don’t put her up there to begin with.

[Lilypad1223]

I never went on dates with my husband. Things don’t need to be a big show, I wanted to spend time with him and get to know him better. Most the time that just meant hanging out at his house. It isn’t about the amount of money spent on the date it’s about the time you spend together.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww.

[Jamie05rhs]

But do you go on dates now? At least sometimes?

[Lilypad1223]

Yeah when we have the extra money we go and see a movie or have dinner somewhere.

[Jamie05rhs]

:) .

[Birdy5]

Go for it. Girls date when they're broke lol. Its not what's in your wallet, but whats in your heart.

[coachTanthony]

Well you got to have something in the wallet otherwise you are in a bad situation.

[Nik1hil]

Honestly logically for a men..
If a Girl dates him.. Even when he is broke!..
Is the girl who he should marry..
Because she true is not after his money!..

And for a women..
If a guy can enjoy a date with her.. With no make up or beauty modification done to her..
And she is not wearing designer clothes and is in her casuals.
Then she should marry that guy..
Because that will truly make her happy

[Jamie05rhs]

💯 .

[lumos]

If anything, dating while you're broke gives you a massive advantage because then you'd be able to tell who's in it for the money and who isn't.
Also, there are plenty of things you can do on dates that don't involve spending money, or only involve spending very little money. As long as you make enough to get by, I don't see how your financial status would affect your ability to date.

[VaIiant]

Hmm. I would say possibly. A large part of romance is in special dates that typically include a nice dinner, going somewhere (gas), etc. I'm also someone who likes to give very nice presents that I know the person will love. I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get an expensive present, but I personally don't think I would date someone who couldn't spend any money.

[VaIiant]

For the guys downvoting, I doubt you would date a girl with no money either? It would mean you paying for every gift, every date, every trip.

[Jamie05rhs]

Gifts? What gifts? Gifts are for kids. Grown adults buy their own stuff.

[VaIiant]

@Jamie05rhs birthdays, Christmas?

[Jamie05rhs]

Ah, ok.

[Megatrizzle]

It depends in my opinion. If you're like me, still in school, most people you find aren't gonna have a lot of money. I don't go on "dates." I find ways to spend time with someone I like. But if you're older and looking for something serious and long term, you might want financial stability first.

[Kitty46]

Yes they can date, you can go to their house to watch a movie on Netflix, you can cook them dinner, make a picnic basket (maybe put wine & cheese in it with crackers) You can have a picnic in the park or the beach or in your house. If you have a family member or a friend that owns a restaurant, you can take them there.

[coachTanthony]

LOL I can take them there? Me?

[Jamie05rhs]

Cheese is expensive, though. Lol

[pizzalovershouse]

not realky a good idea cuz what are you going to do say bring your own foid to the park an I will cook it

[Lilypad1223]

That can be fun. I really don’t understand all the hatred that parks and picnics are getting. Those are my favorite dates.

[coachTanthony]

@Lilypad1223 Parks are great but you going to go to a park on every date?

[Lilypad1223]

That’s fine with me.

[Noodle_fan]

it is possible for some people , i never do that though , my confidence with women almost fully depend on my wallet tbh , lol

[coachTanthony]

I am sure that is true for many!

[apple24]

If if you were just horny. But then again you should make that clear. Personally, I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean I am kinda of aging so I kinda wish I had a bad. Just someone so I can raise a family with but then the other side of me wants to be a bird lady. Lol 😂 ying-yang. Hypergamy and stuff. I mean if I was super hot I would have been married by now having my fourth child n living in a mansion raising my babies

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm always horny. That's not the point, though. I'm dating for the purpose of finding my wife.

[apple24]

@Jamie05rhs well i am not talkong about you.

[Jamie05rhs]

I know.