Most Helpful Opinions
My girlfriend is a single mom. It's definitely not for everyone. I'd suggest dating an older guy who is a parent because he is better able to handle not being at the center of everything in your life.133
Dating does not imply that you have to marry them or live with their clan.
You can date for a number of reasons and my first choice would always to find someone I am comfortable on an intellectual level.
Intimacy is only secondary and only starts playing a role for me once I am satisfied with how they can challenge me intellectually.
So yes, I would date a single parent but make sure to tell that person that I am not into sex but more into an intellectual togetherness.10
I don't think I could and it's just because they have started their life without me and with someone else most likely. I want to be the first one to start a family with. I find it hard to look past the fact they have a child that isn't necessarily mine. I guess to me, when I look at the child I'm going to think of the person they were with before and that's a bit uncomfortable. Plus I want that enjoyment of being together without kids. So I think for me it's a deal breaker.50
What Girls & Guys Said
I already have. And about to do it again.20
Happy for you and your baby girl10
I wouldn't let the fact that someone im interested in is a single parent affect my decision to date them. I want a family myself some day, and if i was dating someone that already had a kid, I would hope that she would be willing to have at least one more, with me.
I know a lot of people worry about a step parent playing favorites, but if I was there as the kid grew up, then i wouldn't treat them any differently. Because i helped raise them, i tied shoes, read them fairy tales, kissed scraped knees, taught them to stand up for themselves, was there the first time their heart was broken...
I can't imaging being that involved in someone's life and not loving them.
One problem i can see in this situation is that both parties should be either super casual, or super serious about the relationship basically from the beginning, or it really won't work out. Also, you want to be as sure as possible that the person you date is someone that is going to be around for a long time before they meet your kid. Having someone become a big part of their life, then that person just disappearing one day, can really mess up a kid.10
I would fuck a single mother. I would have a casual relationship with her. But I would never have a serious relationship with her. For various reasons.
Namely, I'm not going to dedicate my life and resources to another man's offspring. That's called a cuck. I get nothing out of that, and if I decide to have children, another man's child is taking the resources--mental, time, emotional--from my genetic child.
If things go badly, and I've been playing ball with little Timmy or playing video games with little Jessica, when the relationship is destroyed, that's triple the heartbreak.20
No, I'd never date a single parent. I don't want someone's else's kid and for the woman's devotions to be so divided at the beginning of a relationship and I don't want to get involved in all of the chores and problems and having a kid. I want the beginning of a relationship to be fun and carefree and spontaneous and I want my own kids... not to inherit a ready made family.
The only exception to this would be in the hypothetical that one day I become a single dad... as in my wife dies or we divorce after we already have a child. Then I'd be entering the dating pool in my 30's as a single dad than I'd be open to other single moms.10
It does bring up concerns and while it's not an automatic deal breaker, it's close. Not because I don't like kids, but because I know they will take up a lot of your time and energy and I wonder what's left for me/us? I agree with @Logorithim, you'd probably have the best luck with single dads, however there are some guys that won't mind or care.20
Women always say they wouldn't date a guy with a kid.
Once they fall in love with me, then they find out and it's like "Awww, you have a son, that's so cute!"
They change their mind.
Don't let people's bullshit get you down.71
I would not but it is my opinion and everyone is free to find the own destination.20
That’s so sweet you put your baby girl first and decided to raise her I respect that. My last girl friend has a daughter and it didn’t bother me. To be honest that was the first time I have ever dated a girl with a child and I thought it was going to be completely different and difficult. In the end the fact she had a daughter was not really a huge problem or a deal breaker. (Also that had nothing to do with why we broke up)33
I have been on a date with a single parent (2nd date) and he actually brought his two sons. It was kinda awkward and I honestly wasn't that into him by the end of the day.
I would consider seriously dating someone who was a single parent only if I felt that our relationship had a good chance of leading to marriage.10
This is a big problem because it's not my kid and the mom will put the kid before me. Instead of picking a decent nice guy you chose that bad guy who left you. Why should you now put you and your baggage infront of a nice guy? We don't deserve it and I laugh at single mothers aged 18 onwards who still think they can get the best guys.32
Never single moms and single dads are stereotypes of "she is fkn crazy , or he is " kind of people that the person who loved her or him left leaving the them the kid
Never date a single mother as a guy
Never date a single dude as a girl
Why because something is wrong with them , it always is21
At my age I wouldn't only because I have more options. Kids are and should be number one priority, children gaurantee traces of your ex linger and a lot of times there is drama in these situations if not widowed. I happen to enjoy the company of children so when I get older and the field narrows I will have no qualms dating a single mom.10
single moms are like cancer.
stay away from them. and stay away from their bastard kids.662
I wouldn't rule it out, but there are definitely some additional caveats that wouldn't be there for non-moms.
When I was in college I worked one summer where my supervisor was a young single mom close to my age. I was initially interested, but at that point in life I didn't want to deal with baby stuff - though her smoking was a bigger turnoff.10
Of course! If we like each other, who knows what could happen? A woman doesn’t deserve to be alone, purely because she has a child.40
Nope. I dont date single moms or divorcees. If you werent married you dont believe in waiting for marriage. And if you are divorced either you dont actually stand by your commitments or you have lousy choice in men ie you wanted a bad boy and you got one. Sorry. Not sorry.10
If the ex is involved in the child's life, that has no bearing on me dating a single mom. However, if there is still possibly some romantic involvement between the ex and the mom, I'm staying away from that drama.10
Definitely not. I want to be his first priority once we’re in a serious, long-term relationship and I don’t like kids.30
No matter how much I am into a single parent, if they are not available, then it is like dating a married man... it is fun for awhile but there is no real future10
Most Helpful Opinions
Only if the other parent is in the picture, (50/50 custody), and there was an acceptable reason why they aren't together.
Being a step parent is one of the most rewarding and undeniably painful experiences one can ever have. It's like being expected to be the kid's dad and provide love and care, but not have any rights. So when she/he leaves you like they did the last person... ohh man.
Not all cases are like this, but I have found a lot of single parents are in that position because of poor life choices and they expect someone else to pock up the tab. It can be like taking over someone's messed up saved game and not having any rights over the outcome, yet shouldering responsibility.
I don't agree with everything this guy says, or the brutal fashion in which he delivers his message. But... there is a lot of truth in it. Been there and watched other guys go through it. Remember this does NOT reflect all cases at all.
Yeah I get it, I did make a poor life decision, I wasn't careful enough with both sex and protection (obviously), and I am going to be poorer than I would have been if it didn't happen. Doesn't mean I'm going to give up on wanting to open my own business and still doing my university course for accounting. Which was why I'm curious about what people think of me. It's sad though to know that women can be so vain, mean and suck-ups/ gold-diggers to con a man in a relationship, but then maybe a man shouldn't immediately marry, everyone knows that men get the worst cut, so maybe they should hold off on it and see how the woman reacts
It is entirely the gynocentric legal system that enables them to do it. You should take no offense in making a poor life decision. We all do. Unfortunately children as an outcome are more dire a consequence.
This is NOT THE END! It does not mean that you head off and in recompense for a bad decision consider yourself bereft of Men. In most countries, adoption grants the step oarent equal rights, legally referred to as "Parental Responsibility".
The case I referenced in my original reply is one born from my own experience, where unfortunately adoption was unavailable to me as the biological parent must agree. I would ask that you reframe the video I linked and use it to serve as a "what not to do" moving forward.
Sometimes in life, we end up in the dung heap and usually from our own actions and poor choices. We humans pass water, we do not walk on it. From dung heaps, beautiful roses grow. Your child is deserving of love, care and everything life brings him or her and the child is a blessing upon your life. It gives your life purpose. And there will be someone, (assuming the Father wants not to be), who will show you kindness, love and devotion and extend all three to your child. The ball is in your court.
A child is never an excuse not to prosper or move on in life, but the contrary.
Can tell I'm tired, I thought I replied but updated the question instead, what a planker lol but yeah that was meant for you
No problem at all. One last peice of advice, if I may, is that rather than one day at a time, go one month at a time. Set reasonable and measurable goals for yourself for each week in that month. For each goal of yours set a family goal too.
Compare yourself to who you were last week and not who someone else is this week. Your success is yours and never judge success off others. Own it.