I meet girls mostly on my college campus. But I feel like it’s a crutch. That’s probably where I get most of my dates. Next year I graduate and I don’t want to be clueless about meeting women so I’m taking initiative.
I’m getting myself out more to meet people. So far it’s at shopping stores, grocery stores, the gym and wherever my daily routine takes me. My cousin mentioned online dating but it really turns me off. There’s no challenge there. I like the chase. I like meeting women in person.
Bars are probably the easiest place I can think of to meet women. The reason I don’t go is because of the stigma about bars aren’t good places to meet someone you’d want to date. Also I don’t drink. The point in me dating is to eventually find that girl I’d want to marry and start a family with. But I need places to go.
Please don’t say, don’t chase women. Focus on you. Hey I graduate next year and plan on going into news broadcasting, workout 4-5 times a week. Work 40+ a week, published two books, work on comic books and so much more. Buying my first house next year. I’m debt free. Trust me I’m working on me. Too freaking much honestly. I want a woman in my life and I believe in going after what you want. Not waiting for it to come to you. I “want” to chase and I have no problem with it. I just need to be where people are meeting.
Are bars a good place to meet women or should I not bother? I thought at the very least it would be a great way to work on my approach and overall comfort with going up to women off campus. It honestly sounds fun to me. The only thing is I definitely wouldn’t drink. I’ll shamelessly drink some pop or something.
Is going to bars to meet women a good place or not?
Hey buddy, it seems like you have a lot going for you, successful, financially comfortable, friendly and confident.
Going to bars to pick up girls can be great fun, not just for you but for her as well and it doesn't matter that you don't drink, I honestly doubt that will make any difference to your experience there. Most people in bars try and use alcohol as the whole 'Dutch courage' malarkey but if you are comfortable with who you are then you definitely don't need it.
Instead of bars have you tried meeting people that share your hobbies and interests in places where you do them? Large events do have more of a chance of finding a potential partner.
Good luck though, I hope you find someone that makes your knees go weak and your heartbeat race just by looking at them, we all deserve to get that feeling.
I found the most success with meeting decent women at dive bars or sports bars in my 20's, I was never really into clubs. I also joined a rec hockey league which was a great social source. Get creative, it's way different than college.
A dive bar is just a comfortable place that you can go hang out and not have to dress up, it's more casual. There were several guys on my hockey team that didn't drink. It was more of a social hangout place (and they sponsored us lol)
If you don’t drink, maybe finding a girl at the bar isn’t for you unless if you happen to meet the DD. I would just add that you are still young, so parties, festivals, Target, coffee shops, mall, the gym/fitness classes, volunteer opportunities are all potential places to meet girls. I know you said you were uninterested in online dating, but just because you may match with someone on an app, it doesn’t eliminate ‘the chase’ whatsoever since it can be almost more work to convince someone to keep talking to you enough to meet in real life! If anything, it doesn’t hurt to give online dating a try. 🙂
I don't see why not. Yeah, a bit awkward that you don't drink at all. You may not like the environment so much then (sober people often think non-sober are annoying). But I am all in favour of anyone meeting up in person, esp nowadays. Forget all this texting bull. Doesn't the minutia of it just drive people crazy? Maybe you can choose bars where there's dancing, or at least music. Nice to be able to have something to talk about, and an excuse to make contact. Good luck. You sound like a catch.
It actually can be a pretty good place to meet women, yes. Especially if you're a regular because the bartenders and waitresses become familiar with you and know you're okay. So when a chick sees you chatting with them she'll feel a little easier about chatting with you if you try.
There are a lot of cougars that go to the bar I like but I haven't made moves on them.
If you go to a bar - best to meet a girl who is hanging out with some female friends cause a girl who goes to a bar by herself - is probably somebody who goes with dishonourable motives.
Dont go up to a girl whose hanging with some friends... you'll have to make all of them comfortable and there is always that one girl in the group that's gonna wanna leave.. if the group goes your chances are cut short.
I found it more productive to think of bars as places to meet "people", not specifically women. Unlike social clubs, they offer the advantage of letting you meet all sorts of new strangers every day, and multiplied if you bar-hop.
If you go to them with a more friendly attitude towards everybody instead of specifically honing in on dating material, I think your chances of even finding decent dates increase substantially as well as getting friends along the way (who might introduce you to nice women outside of the bar).
If you go there too focused on specifically women, I think it affects your whole vibe subtly, and the way others perceive you, to the point where you might only attract drunk women desperate to get laid -- usually not exactly LTR material. There are plenty of decent women who go to bars, but those ones often just go to have a good time with their friends. So I think your chances of getting along with them and potentially finding a date improve if you're just generally friendly to everyone around you.
Everyone has different experiences, but I don't think bars are a good place to meet women. When I was in my college years, I had a lot of university bars near me and women used to get pissed at being approached, especially when they were with their girlfriends.
A lot of guys seem to think it's great to meet women at clubs and bars, but those are some of the worst places to meet women in my opinion? Why? Because a lot of women go to those places to have fun. Think about it. Bars and clubs are made from women - free admission, ladies nights, free drinks and bumming drinks off of random men (I had female friends who did that).
If you want to meet women at bars, you need to have a lot of game... if not, you better be tall, muscular and very handsome. That's just my opinion. I've had better success on Tinder (lays, one night stands... and I now have a girlfriend from Tinder for over 2 years). I also used to have great success at the gym by taking yoga classes, dance classes and other classes where there were a lot of other beautiful women. I also had some minor success at the mall, the bookstore and Twin Peaks/Hooters.
It may be hard to believe, but it's rather easy picking up women from places like Hooters. Just go their regularly, talk, and be a cool guy and you can get some dates.
Bars are places that tend to be high input and low output from the perspective of meeting women.
That is to say it takes up a lot of your finite energy and time to put into meeting women. Most men get rejected most of the the time unless you are some hot shot with money and looks. And even those guys will get rejected. If anything online is probably the best place as you have a wider selection and it does not take up so much of your time and energy. As long as you are making decent coin what you really need to look at is how much time and energy will I waste at the bar tonight hoping to pick up some chick.
Also, in this day and age you have to be very , very careful with these young women. One thing I always have in mind when I am talking to some women is that she is a stranger and I have no idea who she is and what her past is like. Does she have an STD? Is she married?
Will she falsely accuse me of rape or sexual harassment and thus wreck havoc on my life?
I wish you well but be very careful with these modern women.
Clubs, no. Girls go to clubs to dance with their friends and the music is too loud to talk anyway. Bars, maybe. Girls might go to nars to hang out with their friends, but the more relaxed atmosphere of a bar rather than a club usually lends itself to being a better spot to conversate with strangers. Typically, they best way to meet girls is through other people, ie. your friend introduces you to a single chick he or she knows. Lastly, if you have a hobby that puts you in social environments such as public events, religion, sports, etc then there's probably single women there who share an interest that you can talk about.
Generally not , I'm former door staff and worked at several venues , women WILL have their guard up to the max , some groups of women even have competitions to be as mean & nasty as possible , to any approaching guys , and most women are on " girls nights out " , which means they want men to stay well away !! Add to that they are typically VERY male heavy , typically 5 - 10 men per woman. The best advice is just focus on having fun , rather than be " on the pull " as we say here in the UK , otherwise you will be perceived as " needy " , you may strike it lucky , but you need to be VERY skilled with women to be consistent , only a handful of men can do this
Life is circumstantial always, true the majority of people at the bar aren't relationship material but neither are most people outside the bar! After over a decade married of never going to the bar, it was somewhere I ended up after my wife started cheating on me and we got separated and eventually divorced! Although I did not find anyone there it was by choice because I know emotionally I'm not ready, but I was a genuinely good dude sitting at that bar! So never be too quick to judge but at the same time understand the environment!
No School is the best. It gets harder to meet people when you just have a career. You end up going to bars ans clubs or online dating to hobby focused meet ups. The chances to meet women is the most in college. More social circles more parties more chances
To meet a woman you just want to screw and that is it? sure. Most men I know would never take a woman they met at a bar serious as far as a relationship goes. Even when I was in my 20's, we would flat out say we would never date and certainly never marry any woman we met in a bar.
It's possible to meet your future girlfriend at a bar or club, many people have and in fact that's why most people go- to meet someone new or have a good time. But you have to keep in mind, in this day an age, a lot of people seeing going out to the club/bar as just having fun and not looking for anything serious.
Truthfully, I don't think there is a 'good' place to meet women. There are places and there are women. You just take a shot and hope for the best wherever you are. Bars probably aren't amazing because 1) a lot of girls aren't there to meet guys and have their guards up, and 2) its loud as fuck so trying to have a conversation is annoying.
Bars have mostly one night stands, looking to cheat or drunk apes. You want a quality woman, you meet them where quality women are. Dance schools. Ice skating. Cooking school. Language clubs. Gyms. Parks. Special events...
Depends on the type of woman you want. a lot of men for example meet women in strip clubs and once a relationship starts wants them to give up stripping. That's who she was before she met you and that's who shell always be. Long story short, just know once you meet her there dont expect her to discontinuing going and being who she is just because you two are together
If you want to have that type of person. Look at the "type" of person that hangs out there.
Look at the structure of the group.
Example. Large gathering of women @ porncon= promiscuous mates.
Church social= monogamous mate.
Lesbian bar= check mate...
See my point? What kind of woman do you want?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
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Sorry, didn't have time to read the whole post but wanted to share a thought. It depends on what you are looking for in a woman. If you're looking for casual sex, it's probably a great place because that's what most women there who are looking for a man are also interested in. However, if you're looking for a quality woman for a long term relationship or marriage, bars are probably a bad idea. Good luck.
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