What am I doing wrong during first dates? How do I improve them?

BluMac81
So, I only recently started dating again, specifically meeting girls at match.com for now, until I can meet some at school or bars and clubs. Anyway, my last 2 dates were nearly identical and ended with the same result.

Let me give you the details of what we do at these dates. In both of them we met at a Starbucks close to where I live, for the first girl, I chose what to do, the second girl suggested meeting for coffee right off, so I just chose the place I knew well. Anyway, we meet, sit down together, and talk. It almost feels like an interview sometimes, and there are awkward silences here and there, but it's not that bad. We ask questions about each other back and forth, talking about things going on in our lives now, our interests, family, friends, and even past relationships and experience on the dating site. In both instances I complimented the girl's appearance, the first girl had a unique dressing style (kind of like a 50's housewife) and I said just loved her outfit (which I did). The other girl, well, I kind of just blurted out 'You know, you are really nice', and that seemed to get a smile out of her, and then I said I liked her t-shirt. Again, I was being honest, I thought she was nice and did like her t-shirt. Anyway, the date drags on mostly with more questions and answers... I try to flirt a little (more so in that date with the 2nd girl), basically making strong eye contact and smiling at her.

The only abnormal things our conversations digress to (I'm the one doing the digressing), is talking about a problem I have with anxiety, and these philosophical ponderings about what makes a really good relationship, what makes a really good career, how deeply involved in my faith I am, etc. Oh and some othe digressions that probably did not work for my benefit were answers to her questions about what I do when I'm not at work/school (which I had to stick with honesty and tell her 'watch movies, surf the net, and play video games... because my knees are busted and can't play sports for now), and the question about do I have any friends in the area which I had to answer that I had only 1 friend... and that I was a bit of a loner.

Anyway, that is the jist of it, I want to know what things I am doing wrong, and what I should be doing instead to improve these type of dates in the future. Both of these girls did the old 'cold shoulder' after our date, and just ignored all text messages and such until I actually asked them to clarify if they were or were not interested. They weren't interested. It's discouraging, I didn't used to have problems like this in my earlier 20's. Am I just plain repulsive to women or something? I just don't know. All I want is a great girlfriend. Once I have one I'd spoil her and treat her like a princess and be all romantic like, because that's what I do (in past relationships) and enjoy doing. But they never get a chance to find that out, I'm shut out after the first date. Help?
Updates:
+1 y
Note: To clarify, after the second date, the girl ignored me for a while then I asked her if she is interested or not and she said "I don't think it will go past friendship between us"... after one date she knows this? I imagine she is covering up for a reason that is likely more hurtful.
What am I doing wrong during first dates? How do I improve them?
1
2
Add Opinion