Boyfriend didn’t offer to help me move. Should I dump him?

[newgirlontheblack]

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months. I think we are well past the dating stage. It is assumed that nights we are both free we will be over and hanging out with each other. Typically I spend the night at his place. We are having sex and are exclusive.

Yesterday he had off work and asked me what I was doing. I said I was running a U-Haul and moving a bunch of crap (I am in the middle of a move and he knows this.) I also mentioned being nervous about driving a uhaul. He said “that’s nice good luck. You’ll be fine.” I did not ask for his help but he did not offer. He texted me last night to see how my day went and I told him that I was sore from completing the entire move. He said good work and congratulations on moving.

I’m supposed to go over there tonight and I just texted him I threw my back out moving and I would not be coming over as I don’t feel up to sex. He was like that’s too bad, come over anyway I just want to see you.

I feel like this is dump worthy. I feel like I’ve really not cared about here. Am I overreacting? Am I being unreasonable?

[OlderAndWiser]

Is it possible that he was concerned that by offering to help, he would be sending a message that he thinks you are not capable of doing something like that on your own?

Personally, I would have offered to help. The last time i was on that situation, I had been on three or four dates with the lady. I volunteered to help her move and it took two days to accomplish. I scored major points with her!

[ShadezMcgee]

Jumping the gun there much? Christ, open your mouth and ask him to help you move. You didn't ask him and immediately assumed he had nothing to do on his day off and that you merely saying you are moving should be his cue that he drops everything to help you.

He may have assumed you were good and had help. We don't read minds. Be direct with him and ask for help.

[somethingcoolio]

Well, it would have been nice of him to ask if you needed help, but like you said you didn't ask him to. Just because he had the day off that doesn't automatically mean he didn't have other shit to do. Life is a lot easier if you tell men what you want instead of waiting for them to guess (and probably fail) :)

[Brutal_Honesty]

this!! we can not read minds! :D

[somethingcoolio]

@Brutal_Honesty and you shouldn't have to!

[sarahlumpkin]

Did he not offer any reason for not helping you? Did he have a reason not to want you to move?

[abc3643]

1. No you are not overreacting.
2. Yes. Dump.
3. Reassess your ability at picking men. Such a douchiness trait is not easily concealed and should have been able to be detected within an hour of meeting this guy.

He needs to go. Once the move us complete, drop the hammer. Say nothing to him until then.

[newgirlontheblack]

Just curious: Why say nothing until the move is complete? I’m not trying to get him to do anything for me at this point. Actually, had he offered I probably would have not even taken him up on the help or I just would have had him help me out with a couple of things. I just wanted to know that he cared enough to offer.

[abc3643]

Because men are smooth talkers and often can manipulate a female to do what she really didn't want or what is not in her best interests because she doesn't want the tension or potential violence of not agreeing with what the male wants.

So, do what you need to do and then Pearl Harbor him or simply block him.

[Whitewolf24]

A co-worker of mine was moving and he had no family or anything to help him move so I offered to help him, and did. We are loosley friends and went out a couple of times but, nothing consistent. Much less it be my girlfriend... that's a really shitty thing to do.

[newgirlontheblack]

Date me! You seem like a quality guy lol

[Whitewolf24]

Maybe your guy had a dumb moment or something that made him oblivious. I mean whether you wanted his help or not you shouldn't have had to ask him. Its like mowing my granfathers (80 y/o) lawn or shoveling snow out of his drive way. He's never asked me, it's just something you do if you care enough. I don't know

[worldscolide]

So he didn't pass one of your shit tests and now you want to dump him? Maybe lose the manipulative side of your self and put words to your needs.. Men. Aren't. Mind. Readers. The sooner you learn that the sooner you will have better luck in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Did you ever ask for help?

The answer is no. You have no grounds to blame him for ignoring you moving when you never asked. Grow up and cut out the juvenile games.

At this point you should break up with him, not because he's done anything wrong, but because you are toxic and he would be better off without you.

[Glue-Sniffer]

That's worth reconsidering your relationship. I mean even normal friends offer to help when one is moving let alone a boyfriend. This just proves he doesn't care about you that much.

[boggboss]

Meh dump him if you want but you not asking is a equal reason for him not doing it but meh

[Brutal_Honesty]

"I did not ask for his help but he did not offer. "

this is so typically female. "my guy didn't read my mind, i should dump him"

[Brutal_Honesty]

you're complaining that he didn't help you but you also don't know why that is

you need to TALK to each other lol

[Uncut]

Pretty petty really perhaps he was busy. But maybe he just wants a sex buddy.

But if you feel this way then go for it.

[GreenGold1992]

what an ass, he should've helped anyway. dump him like the garbage he is

[WhiteShoulder]

That is totally dump worthy

[newgirlontheblack]

Should I tell him why I’m dumping him? He genuinely seems clueless

[WhiteShoulder]

Yes. You should.

[MarciOwens]

Yes, you should absolutely dump him!