Men chase, women choose - do you agree?

[MzAsh]

[englisc]

It depends. For the majority of people this is true, but there's more to it. I think it mainly depends on the guy. The reason I think that this is the case is that the majority of men are not that attractive to women. For the small number who are, women chase them.

For example, we've all known women, particularly younger women, who complain that the guy they want won't commit to them. Usually they're having sex casually with this guy and they're just pissed off that he won't enter a serious relationship with her. These women are chasing the man, the man has the power there.

The majority of men can't be that guy because they're not that confident in talking to women and they aren't attractive enough.

The reason women can be so selective when it comes to men is because they have so many options with so many men chasing them. The reason those men chase so much is because they have so few options. That's why women have power over them.

But when the guy is attractive enough that he also has multiple options, at a certain point that can tip the scale in his favour, or at the very least balance the scale. If he has multiple options he's less likely to feel the need to chase, and funnily enough this makes him more attractive to most women (even if this sometimes frustrates them too) since he isn't going to become needy.

And that's the real issue for women. For men, there are websites, books and courses out there that are designed to help them get laid - PUA stuff. Of course much of this is bullshit, but they exist and they sell because that's the kind of thing men want to know. There are no such courses for women - of course not, women can get laid easily. There are plenty of books, websites, courses etc. to teach women how to land and KEEP a quality man. Although women have control when it comes to sex, and although they always have a lot of men after them, attractive men are rarer, harder to attract and keep. That's also why women chase in these cases.

So it really depends on the guy, and also perhaps the kind of guy she's attracted to I guess.

[holograph]

More true than untrue. I don't like that though. Don't really understand why it ever had to be that way.

There are many traditional roles that men and women play based on their gender. Some of them, we cannot change, like that it's women who get pregnant. But some of them make absolutely zero sense, like that men have to do the chasing. Perhaps there was a historical reason for this, but as I sit here, going through the 35th year of my life, I have yet to find any logical reason that men should be expected to do the chasing, or that women should make them chase.

[WalterRadio]

It isn't that women don't do chasing and men do, it is that women chase mostly only the few high value men.

[Ninjazzed]

Men find it difficult on settling on just one woman, it’s apart of the chase.

While women have to be cautious about who they choose because of the same reason, men are biologically hard-wired to cheat.

[MzAsh]

Where did you get that info?

[Ninjazzed]

Should be common knowledge at this point.

[Ninjazzed]

Literally.. lol

[MzAsh]

But it’s not. Men don’t need a lame excuse to cheat so are there numbers here or what?

[Ninjazzed]

They usually don’t have an excuse to use, quite frankly.

Have you not dated in your teen years?

[Ninjazzed]

Has a lot to do with the unwillingness to commit.

[MzAsh]

Yeah but we’re talking about adults, not teens. No one in their teens wants to commit, not even women. That’s not a gendered idea.

[Ninjazzed]

Not only teens, I’m referring to immature men.

[Hai_tis_E]

Goes both ways. I find myself chasing after people I like and I've had guys chase after me

[Anonymous]

I disagree, I chase men I like, and I ignore men I don't like.

[coachTanthony]

Think about that concept!

If this is true then women are only picking from the Men that chase them instead of initiating themselves with someone THEY are interested in.

So for sake of argument and women around the world... my answer is I HOPE NOT!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Well, both my girlfriends did most of the pursuing while I was the most reticent.
I'm not sure if it's because I have this charm to myself or I'm just insecure, or if they are go-getters or just thought I'm a good horse to bet on, so to say.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

By the way, congratulations for becoming Influencer, I just noticed!

[MzAsh]

Thank you! 🖤

[WalterRadio]

It depends.

Divorced women in their late 30s and 40s chase me all the time. I choose none of them.

When I am looking for a new girlfriend (or just hookup), I sometimes get some competition going of some good candidates and choose from among them.

It may matter that I am rich.

[MzAsh]

Haha ya think?

[armleg]

I despise how often middle aged divorcees think its okay to assault me.

[matthewpaino]

I actually tested this with my partner (we are very similar in styles and interests) on a few dating and social apps. We found that within minutes she would get at least 10 matches where within a couple of days i got 2. And while she was able to have full blown discussions with her men, i was ghosted whenever i tried.
Girls mostly get chased, so ultimately they get to do the choosing. Thats what I've seen so far.

[MzAsh]

Very true.

[Ripper_E]

Completely disagree.
That is no different than:
Men have to pay
Men can't hit women
Women should be in the kitchen
You can't ask a woman how much she weighs

It's a gender role. Women are perfectly capable of doing the chasing and men the choosing.

[starfyredragon]

Only if you want a lousy relationship.
As a dude, while I chased, I never had any good relationships.
Then I tried to do something different. Instead of chasing, I stopped. I tried to instead focus on improving myself into someone worthy of being chased, but decided I would never chase. Within a year, I was being chased by multiple girls at once, one of whom I ended up marrying.

[MzAsh]

Sounds like you are a lucky outlier. A lot of men don’t like to be the one being asked out because they see it as feminine. Good to know it works out for someone though.

[Anonymous]

Funny how women are so pro feminists and empowerment in every sense of society but when it comes to dating they want to be chased and worshipped HYPOCRITES

[MzAsh]

Women have begun to learn that a lot of men don’t respond well to being pursued by women because they see that as a masculine role. Most men prefer to be the ones to pursue.

[LoU_Hades]

Yes this is 100% true... However if she didn't choose you or you aren't in the club of the chosen who are allowed to chase her, there is no sense to make any effort.

[BirdFan360]

Nope. It's interchangeable. People will always have the freedom to choose, and you can choose to chase or not to.

[Passinggas]

Nope, women hint like a lead balloon or just outright chase and then we are bullied or snookered into it.

[Optymistyk]

Unfortunately yes
You have no idea how lucky you are

[ThisAndThat]

I keep as far away from women as possible and therefor disagree. Totally 100% 33 year MGTOW monk and I'm staying that way.

[MzAsh]

I wouldn’t expect someone who is totally 100% mgtow monk to engage so actively to and talk so much about women on the internet.

[ThisAndThat]

Well now you know what to expect then.

[MzAsh]

Guess so lol

[BestUserName100]

No cause.. What about the ones they chase.. Some may like that some may not.

[genericname85]

your individual choice. i'd personally not prefer to be at the whim of the people who decide to approach me. i like picking myself.

[CT_CD]

Pretty much. Just look at almost any species. Males pursue the females and compete with each other to mate.

[Romeo0071234]

Men choose and the women decide if they want to be taken for the choosing😁

[COMMODOREII]

Not always. After all a man chooses who to chase and many times women chase guys they like too.

[okeydoke]

Not completely. The opposite happens decently often.

[JakeMist86]

I have never really been a chaser... I generally get asked out...

[andyaa]

If you mean in making love, I think Men choose and women is Selected... But in the Modern World women can choose men as well...

[DanOh2018]

Maybe, I don't find I have to chase too hard though, they seem to like it when I catch them LoL

[Furuok]

There are three sides to the coin heads or tails, and the edge.

[Therisinghero12]

Nah, some people chase, some people choose, everybodies different with it :D

[TallAnon]

Depends where. In Europe yes, in China I had other experiences.

[Ihavenoclue_]

Yup and if a guy keeps bothering or rape he’ll be put in jail. Girls/women’s are more protected by law too.

[cavmanier]

I'd say men pick; then women confirm.

[Zeephy]

Always chasing unattainable men

[BeHappy1985]

Nope. You migt choose who you sleep with but we choose who we marry.

[MzAsh]

You can’t marry without an I Do.

[BeHappy1985]

And you can't if no one proposes. Which is a step before "I do"

[MzAsh]

Yeah but who has more people getting down on one knee? Men or women?

[BeHappy1985]

Well, if we look at blow jobs, doggy style or cleaning the house I'm 100% sure you ladies spend more time on your knees. We just do it once for a few seconds.

[BeHappy1985]

And its just one knee not both.

[MzAsh]

If a woman chooses correctly, he spends just as much time on his knees giving her oral as well.

[BeHappy1985]

The final decision is still ours to make.

[MzAsh]

Traditionally the bride’s family pays for the wedding.

[BeHappy1985]

That argument is more in our favour. Speaking in the old terms, not only we get a "slave" we also get a dowry and the pick of the bride.

[BeHappy1985]

You reminded me of this song https://youtu.be/H-gfxjAaZg0

[MzAsh]

Women always have more of an abundance of suitors to choose from.

In modern days, couples just go into a decades worth of debt trying to have a nice wedding. If you have to charge your wedding, you don’t have any business getting married in my opinion.

[BeHappy1985]

Key word "suitors" .. Yes you do, but will you be wifey material for the guy pick? Thats a whole other story.

[MzAsh]

A man qualifies himself to a woman first so if he has pursued correctly, she should already be marriage material.

[BeHappy1985]

Nah, thats not how guys pursue girls. I guess you didn't pay much attention to the song I sent you. It takes time to decide if you're a wifey material or not, all of your actions are taken into consideration. You sound like you're single.

[MzAsh]

How many men have pursued you? I’ve been married 12 years. How long have you been married?

[BeHappy1985]

So why did he leave you?

[MzAsh]

He didn’t.

[BeHappy1985]

I haven't been married once because I choose not to. I'll stick by this choice for about 5 more years. Have there been girls wishing I asked, yes, a few. But it wasn't their choice.

[BeHappy1985]

Killed in battle?

[MzAsh]

Women want a man young, willing, and eager to please but it’s understandable if you don’t have your shit together yet. Good luck.

[BeHappy1985]

I'm a business owner who employs 24 people. In a steady relationship. I'm what you call a catch. You're 35 and a rodeo clown by the looks of things, you would not make my list of wifey material.

[MzAsh]

Irrelevant. I wasn’t interested in the first place.

[BeHappy1985]

On the contrary, it further goes to prove my point that I'm the one who does the choosing, it also lets you know that your presumption was quite far from reality.

[MzAsh]

No, you as a man are the interested, pursuing candidate. Women choose from the number of interested candidates.

[BeHappy1985]

You're still wrong.

[BeHappy1985]

You're talking about loosers not successful man. We're not governed by the same rules.

[MzAsh]

What do you mean?

[BeHappy1985]

Doesn't matter really. I grew tired of this conversation. Feel free to believe whatever makes you happy.

[MzAsh]

Same to you.

[Golden_nuts]

No, man get forced, woman with authority choose.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

Forced?

[loveslongnails]

Depends where in the world you live, doesn't it?

[Anonymous]

Yep and they suck at it.

[DDpsy]

Men chose who to chase... women just sit there.

[Liam_Hayden]

Usually true, which is why I cast a large net.

[esotericstory]

No I disagree with that.

[Anonymous]

That's a beautiful poetry!!

[CapitalHill81]

Why chase? You wanna roll out I'll help you pack.

[MensBest]

No it can go both ways

[Alfie_Solomons]

I don't chase. I'm not sad.

[mistixs]

Yes...

[aa180]

Yeah

[TheFlak38]

this is 100% true.

[updog45]

Yes I mostly agree

[Sixgun77]

Definitely.

[ankitrmishra5476]

Depends

[alance99]

Yes.

[Nadim171]

Usually true

[JP_Man]

I agree

[Jmmmfi4]

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