What's the worst dating advice you've ever heard?

Question

What's the worst dating advice you've ever heard?

Influencer

Talking to a G@Ger on here who said he's seen dating coaches give guys advice to ignore women in an attempt to garner attraction--terrible advice, and no wonder guys are complaining about girls not being interested in them

A girl I worked with said playing the field was the best thing for girls (nevermind her awful track record)

What's some bad advice you've been given and how did it work out for you?

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32

Most Helpful Girls

This_is_my_username | 681 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

I overheard someone say that the one way to "lock in" your boyfriend is to get preganant. Than there's no way out. And he'll love you forever. Thought I was going to barf.

And yeah, the whole "ignore her" thing that circulates around GAG is hilarious. One way you can guarantee someone's interest in you.. is to ignore them. **sarcasm** 😂😂

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  This is quite possibly the worst one here
- This_is_my_username
  
  29 d
  Yeah, it's really messed up.
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  I've known of a few girls who tried the pregnancy thing, and yes, the guy ended up leaving anyway and abandoned the baby. Horrible, horrible advice and also really unfair to the human life you're about to bring into this world for the wrong reason, and usually completely unprepared to care for on your own.
- Show All Show Less
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  And yes, ignoring a girl just makes her think you're not interested.
- This_is_my_username
  
  28 d
  @aWes0MeNeSs amen! Like, what makes someone think that a tiny human being is going to make someone stay? So careless.
- Unit1
  
  23 d
  The recipe for being a single parent and to stay single indefinitely.

Most Helpful Guys

MrOracle | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Influencer

1 mo

There's a ton of bad advice here, but perhaps the most common is to "be yourself" when a guy being himself hasn't been working. I mean, there's SOME truth to it, but a lot of people really need to change some things about themselves, their attitude, and their motivation (or lack thereof).

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I can agree with that. I think the biggest problem guys on this site have is their attitude. Many guys need to change themselves to be more attractive to women
- MrOracle
  
  1 mo
  Yup.
- Screenwriter
  
  1 mo
  But you guys, will that ever work. Changing minor things is completely doable: wear a better deodorant, floss better, cut your nails shorter. But personality, attitude? Don't you think that's developed over YEARS and is entrenched? Maybe with some serious behavioral therapy. But I don't think that's a simple task.
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- MrOracle
  
  1 mo
  It's not always simple, but it is what is necessary to succeed.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Agreed. If it were simple, those guys would've been able to figure it out for themselves. It's much easier to blame someone else for your misfortune and wallow in your own misery. But part of relationships are putting in hard work. These guys with bad attitudes would just let the relationship fall apart even if one did magically fall into their laps
  
  One thing my boyfriend and I discussed was how depression makes guys unattractive to women. In hindsight, that was one of his major problems with women (obviously before he met me). Now he's not depressed and has a much better view of life and has even made more positive career improvements (which makes him even more attractive). If it were easy, it wouldn't be called "hard work"
- aangelena
  
  1 mo
  👏 👏 👏 telling somebody to be their self is absolutely the worst advice anybody could give. They should say be your desired self.
- Screenwriter
  
  29 d
  @aangelena Be your BEST self is wonderful advice. It will ONLY not work if you're a serial killer, assassin or murderer. Then we ALL have to get better locks and hide... ha ha...
- frostwalrus
  
  28 d
  in my opinion, if a man can't be himself while dating then he shouldn't bother with dating.
- MrOracle
  
  28 d
  @frostwalrus What if being "himself" means being desperate, annoying, having zero confidence, being sexually aggressive long before the woman is comfortable, etc?
  
  I'm not saying that a steelworker needs to pretend to be a poet, but there ARE bare minimums that you need to meet in order to date, and a lot of men simply refuse to make those changes or even make any effort in that direction, and then are bitter when women aren't interested. It's fine if they legitimately don't want to date, but nearly all of these men DO, in reality, want to date - they just want HER to lower her standards to HIS level so he doesn't have to do any work. And, well, that's just not how the world works. We all have to do our part, whether it's (relatively) easier or harder for us on an individual level. Some minimums must be achieved.
- frostwalrus
  
  28 d
  @MrOracle If a man is content and happy with the way he is AND he's not violating the NAP (Non Aggression Principle), then he shouldn't change for anyone in the world. If a man has to be inauthentic to appeal to women, then women are not worth his time.
  
  Also, women hold men to much harsher standards than men hold women. And women often do not live up to their own standards. Women expect men to be charming, funny, intelligent, just the right height, attractive, popular, wealthy, etc, all while women are often none of these things. A woman can be a failure in life and still find love. Men cannot. Relationships are based upon a lopsided dynamic that favors women. Therefore it's irrational for a man to pursue relationships, unless he's content and happy with unfairness.
- roland77
  
  28 d
  The pure advice "be yourself" is the best you can give, because that always included being #authentic. Sure if the guy/girl doesn't know about himself/herself, then this is a terrible advice and that is why I have up-voted, else I would down-vote because being authentic is best for dating/handling relationship.
- MrOracle
  
  28 d
  @roland77 Right, but "authentic" means "don't pretend you're rich when you aren't" or "don't pretend you're a ladies' man if you aren't" or "don't claim to know everything, or to have experience with everything, when you don't."
  
  I'm talking about something completely different - about having more mainstream social interactions and having a positive attitude. You can change those things about yourself and still be authentic.
- roland77
  
  28 d
  @MrOracle I understand it when I was reading your opinion. That is why I have up-voted. Still generally said, be yourself=be authentic is the best advice (given by many sociologists). My brother has studied #sociology into becoming an educator (not therapist) and he (4 years younger, so he has a developed character) said that to me one day. We talked back there about "dating books" (how to date every girl and that kind of BS) and I told him a guy I know does this, like playing chess! Conversations are no chess games, they are way too dynamic. That is why I came up with my comments here: be yourself means also show honestly who you really are and don't pretend to be someone else. She will find it out anyway.
- westwordbound
  
  28 d
  Changing your personality is probably the toughest thing for a man to do if he had the WRONG personality beat into him from his youth. A lamb can’t morph into a lion.
  
  BUT a man can make small eventual adjustments to make himself more attractive to women. This biggest thing is to work on not being overly nice, being more mysterious and saying no to women who try to take advantage of him.
  
  Society isn’t help though. Feminism has really fucked up everything for men and women. I don’t want to use that as cop out for all the guys but it’s hard to ignore how feminism has successful brainwashed large droves of guys into something women don’t want.
- Kaazsz
  
  28 d
  As someone who was the bottom of the barrel for most of his life, I have to say for me being myself was the answer.
  
  Even today, where I’ve massively improved, I have trouble being myself:
  
  I can flirt and hug and touch and poke and pick girls up and do all kinds of stuff. I can “be myself” with most girls now.
  
  As soon as I find a girl I really like though? Boom. I am no longer capable of being myself. I get awkward and weird and shy and I get anxiety and then it’s no wonder the girl isn’t into me, I can’t even be myself around her.
  
  And that’s what it’s all about. Being yourself means being yourself, devoid of social anxiety and negative feelings towards yourself.
  
  It used to be that I couldn’t talk to ANY girl EVER, because of the anxiety and self doubt and all of that. Now it’s only the really super hot beautiful girls that I get like that around. And I know they’ll like me if I can stop with the anxiety and the fear and the self doubt. Though it’s very very hard lol. The only way out is practice and that means talking to beautiful women if I want to stop being so self conscious around them. There is no other option. You have to get out and start talking to them.
- Screenwriter
  
  28 d
  @Kaazsz I too think practice is the only way. If you're an average guy you might think your ordinary looks mean a woman won't talk to you. But hot looking women may not be talked to and they are happy when someone has the balls to do so. Conversation opens a lot of doors. Sure, you can be shot down, but adversity makes us stronger. If one person doesn't want to talk, another will. Laugh it off. You have NO IDEA why someone doesn't want to talk to you. A bad day, too shy, too drunk, a bad attitude, terrible at conversation. 95% of the time, it's all about THEM, not YOU. That's why you keep on pitchin'.
DLFisherman
Xper 3

28 d

I was not told this, but a woman posted this here and I'm paraphrasing, "Guys if you have a small penis try going gay, as you can never really please a woman any ways. gay sex is better than no sex..." This is possibly the worst dating advice I've ever heard.

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- sapphireruby
  
  28 d
  I hope that was a troll comment lol
- DLFisherman
  
  28 d
  @sapphireruby no she was dead serious! The women that responded stood up for us guys and it gave me lot of hope!
- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  Oh that's terrible
  
  Besides, there are a lot of girls who don't mind small dicks. Sex is more about your emotional connection anyway
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- DLFisherman
  
  28 d
  I agree fully it's the connection you have before during and afterwards :)
- Pamina
  
  28 d
  Especially considering that if anything, being gay with a small penis is most likely MUCH worse...

What Girls & Guys Said

3075

Jean-Marie_Céline | 533 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Influencer

1 mo

To be abrasive and cold, and they'd fall for me.
All the three women I've been with in my life (my current girlfriend included) all said they got interested in me because I was warm and kind to them.

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I couldn't agree more that that's bad advice. A good relationship requires attention and affection daily
- Jean-Marie_Céline
  
  1 mo
  Exactly, especially because it mostly revolves around little things.
  For example, yesterday night I cooked homemade pizza for my girlfriend, with the topping she likes, and her reaction was like I had gifted her a ring!
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Yummy. That sounds delicious. What a way to a girl's heart !
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- Jamie05rhs
  
  29 d
  I agree about the coldness thing. Some girls have actually told me they thought I was an asshole before they met me.
- roland77
  
  28 d
  @Jean-Marie_Céline awesome, dude! I wish I can find some time to make the pizza base... Because bought from supermarket is not with heart (being warm).
jennifer_bloom | 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Influencer

1 mo

My friend knew I was a virgin and he told me to go and sleep with the first random stranger I find to get rid of my virginity cause he said guys like girls with experience.

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- David_Kek
  
  29 d
  translation; "please have sex with me"
- Unit1
  
  29 d
  @David_Kek very accurate!
- lightbulb27
  
  29 d
  definitely bad advice.
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- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  Yeah I was given that one too... by a total meanwhile. Absolutely terrible
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  I was given this advice too, and one of my friends also tried really hard to pressure me into having sex with my male best friend "just to get it over with" because "you're too old to be a virgin" and "guys don't like virgins". Ironically enough, this all started after she lost her virginity on the second date with a guy who ended up using her for sex, and I think she wanted some company so she wouldn't feel as bad about her choice. Not that I'm judging her choice, as it's up to her to do whatever when she feels like she's ready, but it's my theory as to why she was so concerned with me doing it as well.
OlderAndWiser | 5.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Influencer

27 d

During a breakup: "You just need to forget about her," as if you can just flip a switch and forget about someone who has been an important part of your life.

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  26 d
  Good point. I read a study that suggested it can take men even longer to get over a breakup (possibly because they don't talk about it as much for have an emotional support group among friends)
  
  And I just have to comment on that adiralr kit th you have as a profile picture. He reminds me of my Hammy cat
aWes0MeNeSs | 440 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Influencer

29 d

Playing hard to get. It's not only incredibly juvenile, but it gives any adult with a maturity level above a teenager's the sense that you're either not interested or immature and playing games, which will turn most people off.

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Dongtai | 274 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 7

28 d

“Focus on school. Girls will come later. Don’t look for love. It will find you.”

My parents told me this all through grade school and high school whenever I asked for girl advice. I didn’t get into my first relationship until I was 18 listening to them. I didn’t develop good social skills with girls until I was in my 20s so I didn’t really get to enjoy dating until around that time.

This is very terrible advice to give to a heterosexual guy. Especially if he hasn’t developed any social skills because the reality for most guys or at least for me, love will not come knocking on your door one day and say “Hey. I’ve been searching for you. Are you ready to start your life with me?”

Most girls will eventually be approached by “a guy” if they’re at least average looking. For them they can wait and end up with someone. But for guys, even if you’re attractive, social skills can make or break you when it comes to dating. I’d go as far to say the more attractive you are the more important social skills are because beauty intimidates most people. People will be nervous about saying hi.

I didn’t get my first girlfriend until I started letting girls know I existed. If I “waited” for the girls that caught my attention to introduce themselves to me I’d still be a virgin and I would probably die alone.

The reality is dating actually takes some effort. You have to develop social skills with the opposite sex. You have to build confidence with yourself and learn that rejection doesn’t define you. You have to know success or lack of with the opposite sex doesn’t decide your worth-you do. You don’t learn any of this stuff unless you get “experience”. That experience is vital when it comes to choosing a “good” partner. Without it you’ll meet people with the wrong mindset/attitude and either pick bad partners or have your sense of self worth affected.

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Dargil | 140 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master

28 d

Some advice I've given:
*The 10-date rule. Ten public dates the guy plans, finances and provides transportation before intercourse is on the table. Mature adults can adjust the time period and plan outings together. But the general rule stands. This will filter out most players, predators and hit-and-runs of both sexes..
*No female should have intercourse before she receives a high school diploma or GED.
*No female should have intercourse with any guy who is not a high school grad or GED. and does not have a full time job and has his own address.
*Any male that lives with his parents is a dependent child, even at 30. Don't treat him as a mature adult. That includes college students.
*Do not discuss sexual history. Don't ask, don't tell.
*The first two dates are negotiations on whether to proceed. Zero sexual intimacy, as it will obscure them.
*Tell your new partner what your goals for a relationship are during the negotiations. Tell the truth. If you are looking for a spouse, say so. If you are looking for casual sex, say so.
*I'm no fun at all. Dating is a battlefield if you let it be. Don't.

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- Silver158
  
  28 d
  How to make what is basically body/brain chemistry into a business contract...
- Dargil
  
  28 d
  @Silver158 Every relationship is a social contract. Value is exchanged.
- Silver158
  
  28 d
  I mean to be fair you did admit "*I'm no fun at all."
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- Dargil
  
  28 d
  @Silver158 You would be surprised how many females who have fallen victim to the current dating battlefield agree. Too many are forced to "give it up" just to fit in.
- Silver158
  
  27 d
  I actually agree with you there. But I also feel like the 10 day thing is a bit much. and the high school diploma requirement is also silly, There are plenty of high school dropouts who own successful businesses. The living with parents thing I agree with (hell I was afraid to bring a girl back to my mum's house back in the day lol).
  
  The biggest issue with dating at the moment is there are far too many people who play numbers games and weigh up their options. They will quite happily drop someone for what they consider to be a "better option" then come crawling back when the better option doesn't pan out and get ratty when they're no longer wanted.
Anpu23 | 483 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

The absolute worst advice given to men is to keep trying... That they just need to see you and how great you are. You see this in romcom too. That a guy just has to be persistent. Many female friends and family give this advice as well. And this is how stalkers are made. If she's not interested move on, find someone who is. Girls aren't just going to magically change their mind, instead they think it's pathetic and needy at best, creepy and stalking at worst. But guys hear that all the time from well meaning friends.

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Valid. That advice can lead to stalkers and unrequited love
  
  I was friends with a guy for about a year who kept trying to make moves on me despite my outright objections and always telling people we were nothing more than friends. If a girl doesn't "come around" within the first month or so, she's not going to. Even then, you should be able to tell if your advances are received well
- Anpu23
  
  1 mo
  And for those of you who think that being coy or playing hard to get is why you give this advice. What you are saying is
  "No means no... Unless it doesn't" you're playing with consent and are bluring lines. You're setting guys up for criminal charges, getting beat by her friends and family, and getting a reputation as a rapist. Stop that let your no mean no.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  A girl who is hard to get will not tell you No. If a girl says no, that's what she means. Girls who are unsure will say "not yet"
- Show All Show Less
- Anpu23
  
  1 mo
  A "not yet" is absolutely valid. And invites further advances. A no, has to be accepted as a no. Yet many people just tell him to try again. No he should move on.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  At that point, I would agree
zollo
Xper 5

28 d

Worst advice iv'e heard is when picking up a girl have a counter attack to every answer she has, if you get her a drink make her drink more, if she refuses somehow persuade her. Ask her to go back to your place and if she says no keep trying to persuade her. It's not only wrong but it's scary.

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  That is terrible. That's why guys don't understand boundaries
WalterRadio | 2.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

28 d

There are many things that are bad advice for guys: Go slow. Don't pay for everything. Be persistent.

The right advice is to go as fast as she is willing, never let the girl pay for anything, and if she doesn't reciprocate an interest immediately, find someone else.

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  Well said
rjroy3 | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

"Don't worry. Girls will be throwing themselves at you when you're 30"

Not even kidding. I've heard a girl say that to guys lol. The ol' "don't worry. You're not getting any now, but when the girls in your age bracket are done having their fun. The ones left over who don't settle down with a guy they actually like, will come back around to you because they're desperate to get a guy who will stay with them" advice... lol so sad

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I can't believe someone would say that. Just WOW
- Jamie05rhs
  
  29 d
  It's actually true (because I have experienced that personally.). But those are not the type of girls you want.
richardsnarky
Xper 4

28 d

Me: *not physically or sexually attracted to this guy at all*

Friends: “Just give him a chance! He’s a nice guy! You never give guys a chance.”

Me: *dates guy for a month and a half later and still not attracted to him*

Friends: “You’re leading him on! How dare you!”

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  27 d
  That sounds like a bad friend, not just bad advice
silvermoon84 | 146 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 7

1 mo

The worst advice I’ve ever been given was to settle because supposedly it’s better to just have a boyfriend even if he’s someone who I can’t stand than to just be single. Terrible advice from a friend who had a terrible track record with men. I know she meant well but I’m so glad I didn’t listen.

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- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  I've never understood how some people think being single is just awful and that it's better to settle for an unhappy relationship. I think that's why those type of people tend to have such bad track records; not only are they settling for less than what they really want and trying to force a square peg into a round hole, but they're also expecting a partner to provide their happiness. Happiness comes from within, and if you can't be happy by yourself, no one else can ever make you happy. A partner should add to your happiness, but never be the sole provider of it.
Anonymous

27 d

I overheard a conversation between two friends talking about lying about how many girls you've slept with if she asks about it. As I walked in, one of them told me that's the only way to get a date and that girls love guys that sleep around.

I lied to 2 different women and it didn't work as they said.
Girl #1: she got up with a disgusted expression and walked away, claiming to be saving herself for someone special with similar views.
Girl #2: She figured out it was a lie immediately and was like ''why lie about something positive''. Needless to say we dated for nearly a year and then went on separate ways for different reasons.

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- Opinion Owner
  
  27 d
  That was stupid for believing such crap. I should've known there was nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend yet after my HS graduation. I was 21 years old when it was my first time.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  26 d
  Glad you came to the understanding this was bad advice
Anonymous

28 d

Someone told me years ago that I definitely needed to lower my standards "and take all applications" because they were convinced that that was the reason I wasn't getting long term dates at the time but my only true standard really was someone who was nice and didn't treat me like dirt. This was after a series of dates where the guys were just down right rude, or freaky, or in one case so religious that I knew unless I converted on the first date it would never work out. The person that gave me this advice ended up marrying and (thankfully for her) divorcing her abuser. Be CAREFUL who you take advice from!

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Jjpayne | 934 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master

1 mo

I've had similar advice, play hard to get... I've never liked that... But also the idea that the right one will come while you are not looking for them... I could and should have been dating much sooner rather than waiting...

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I think there is some truth that part about waiting, but I also to agree with the main message of it. That doesn't mean you should close yourself off to the opportunities that you could make for yourself. Part of the right one coming along is trying to catch her when she walks by
  
  My uncle is a good example of that though. He dated when he was younger, but never found the right girl until he was too old to really start a family. He was almost 50 when he met my aunt, but he knew right away that waiting for her was the right thing to do. No he didn't get to have kids, but he got to treat my sister and I as kids when we lived with them for a couple years as adults. So it's never to late to find the right one. Don't give up just because you're getting past the age to have kids
  
  Don't take yourself out of the game altogether, but also don't settle for the wrong person
- Jjpayne
  
  1 mo
  I just want to date. I just want to have some simple coffee shop conversation... I've gotten some advice from one gagger to find things and places of similar interest. But it's also hard to be in a place where I have a lot going on since my father's death...
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Have you tried going to a singles mixer? Or speed dating? There are some websites you can join where you plan to meet up for an activity like that
- Show All Show Less
- Jjpayne
  
  1 mo
  I'd love that!!! That would be fun!!!
- Jjpayne
  
  1 mo
  That's a great idea!!! Can you maybe send me some links?
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  https://www.meetup.com/topics/online-dating/
- Jjpayne
  
  29 d
  Thank you!!!
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  I agree about playing hard to get, but I do think that sometimes the right one comes along when you least expect them to and aren't looking. However, there's certainly no harm in going out and looking, either.
- Jjpayne
  
  28 d
  @aWes0MeNeSs thank you
R_ūshī | 93 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

28 d

When my ex started flirting openly with me, one of my close friends who only knew him on instagram, told me to reject him. They had never even spoke before and my friend really hated him. The friend didn't like him just because he is into gothic stuff and metallica. My friend kept annoying me and that's how I realised that he's not a good friend.

I mean people are so much more than an instagram account...

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yoganshB
Xper 4

28 d

The asker didn't mention anything able men in the question (only question not description)
Still all are taking about advises for men. That's a big irony. Girls don't need advice right. Guys compete to get a girl and girls advice other men to make them perfect for themselves. I'm not blaming anyone but we have to change this.
Is you think men and women are equal then it should be followed here too.
Listen guys don't think that you need to fulfill someone's requirements. If someone has their requirements then it's not love - it's a fuckin deal. You're not doing love buisness.

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Anonymous

1 mo

Not sure if it's the worst advice, but they say to not see the person so often when first beginning to date, to not act clingy, etc. BUT when I really like someone, I find this SO difficult, and crave communication with them. I want to know what they're thinking, how they feel about me, if they ever want to see my face again, etc...

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I agree that's bad advice. When you first meet someone, you should be excited to see them again and want to learn more about each other
  
  Being clingy is not necessarily a bad thing. I cling quite literally to my boyfriend, but he clings to me as well. Affection is healthy for a relationship. It's important to find someone who appreciates that quality in you
ArrowheadSW | 520 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

29 d

Too numerous to mentions. In my opinion, *most* dating advice is bad advice.

One thing I don't like is when someone says, "You two would be a perfect couple"... Unless they have a good reason to say that, it is usually a bad sign... LOL

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  True. I hod one instance of that, but friend prefaced it with "If he wasn't too old for you," so it wasn't pushy or anything
- roland77
  
  28 d
  Listen to your own feelings and think for yourself. That might work because it means being #authentic.
wankiam | 2.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master

29 d

this one is top of my list because it could have resulted in cell time in thailand. a user asked if it was essential to carry travel documents when on vacation there rather than leaving her pasport in the hotel safe and carrying a photocopy so i went on google to check local thai law and what the embassy said... it was clear you must carry originals at all times. several other users told her copies were fine and she chose two of them as mho eventhough i read a case where a traveller had been in a cell for two days and fined a lot of money for ignoring the law there

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Elleymei
Xper 3

28 d

I’ve been told my whole life if a guy takes you out and is mean to you “it means he likes you”.. stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. There is nothing wrong with teasing the other person. But being directly rude or mean to someone obviously means he doesn’t like you that much.. another thing.. when you like a guy you should play hard to get and pretend you don’t like him.. from my experience it tends to confuse the men and send them in the other direction.

1|1

0|0
bamesjond0069 | 678 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Explorer

29 d

I was told to date successful women such as lawyers and doctors and such and I did and it was terrible. Everyone i know keeps telling me that but i dont respect girls like that and have no interest in them. Id prefer some young church girl any day. Now dating is much much better.

1|0

0|0
- pleasestopthis
  
  28 d
  Why is having a career such a turn off?
- bamesjond0069
  
  28 d
  @pleasestopthis in and of itself it isn't. The problem is what you give up to have one. One thing men like is youth. An 18 year old lawyer is impressive but essentially impossible. Between an 18 year old gas station attendant and a 30 year old attorney, most men looking for marriage will choose the 18 year old.
  
  Here is another example. A girl just gets out of school to be a doctor at 28. She is now not suitable for most men to consider having kids with. She MUST work because her student loans are due, so staying home with a baby is not an option unless the man can not only pay for him her and the baby but add in her degree. Or the child is destined for daycare. Personally as a man i dont like that option and would never purposely put myself in a situation to have kids in daycare. So now she's working 5 years before kids but damn she's already 28 so she will be 33 before having kids, now i have to start worrying about medical issues and time tables etc. A 20 year old waitress wouldn't have this problem.
  
  There are more examples but essentially i see no benefit of women having education and careers to marriage and family oriented men.
  
  Men like, youth, sweet personality, innocence, morals, caring motherly qualities, beauty, femininity just to name the most universally important ones. These qualities are how you attract family oriented men. How much money you make or how much education you have is not going to be even on the top 100 list of what men look for... yet you will sacrifice some of the things on this list to get a decent career.
  
  Its basically shooting yourself in the foot in order to buy new nikes to run a race. Sure the best sneaks help but not when you have a hole in your foot. Lol
- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  @pleasestopthis
  A woman with a career is a turnoff to men who want a housewife. Women with careers are less likely to quit work to stay at home and raise their children
- Show All Show Less
- bamesjond0069
  
  28 d
  Yeah you got it. But men who want housewives typically are more successful and family oriented. Which seems pretty high demand from women these days. If you want some other kind of relationship dynamics like unmaried dual income no kids sort of thing and focus on materialistic pursuits then this doesn't apply. Then a man will want you to pull in just as much money as him.
andreasderjuengere | 1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

I would not say 'worst'. But most useless are statements like:
"Just wait"
"It depends"
"Don't worry"
"I am atheist"
"Who cares"
...
I must admit that I have my own share in contributing (seemingly) unrelated 'advice' - often there is a line between one other line...
"Worst" ... could be a suggestion that (accidentally?) leads to a disaster if taken for serious?

2|1

0|0
- roland77
  
  28 d
  Comments:
  1) How long should she wait? Until she is dead?
  2) Depends on what?
  3) Are you a careless guy?
  4) Oh, okay. So you hate church?
  5) Yeah, right. Also why should she care about you?
- andreasderjuengere
  
  28 d
  @roland77 Ah - Do you mean that even meaningless comments can say something when we interpret them?
- roland77
  
  28 d
  @andreasderjuengere Oh, guten Abend. ;-) I just commented on your quotes as I think about them: Don't let her wait to long, else she is gone (like chatting only once per week with her, to less!). Show her what matters to you (strong likes/dislikes, or where it is just okay). if she has worries, listen to her very close, she might have a reason to worry. Atheists are to foreigners considered as religion-haters, yes that is a stereotype again. I'm just open-minded to let her pray at my apartment, let her go to church and such but also wanted to be treated like that back. If she cares for something, that is good, don't play it down.
- Show All Show Less
- andreasderjuengere
  
  28 d
  @roland77 Moin Moin :D... I placed these as 'typical' examples. "Worst advice" often is given with ABSENSE of advice, or even entirely unrelated to the issue.
- roland77
  
  28 d
  @andreasderjuengere I never understood it other way. :-)
Xtownsen
Xper 6

1 mo

My dad told me to be nice and let women approach you worse advise ever. 1st being nice not going get you anywhere woman don’t like pushovers and second some woman will approach but for the most part you have to approach them. Far as my dad he hasn’t had the best dating life because of what he believes

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- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  That's one of the best ways to ensure you never get a date
- roland77
  
  28 d
  @Idonthaveausername exactly! :-)
Cactusqueen | 77 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

28 d

It was being given to a good friend of mine. That to get over her ex she should bed another man. I just thought it sounded ludicrous

2|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  There was one song that gave this bad advice and now there's a bunch of girls who actually follow it. So sad
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  What was the song?
- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  @aWes0MeNeSs
  Not sure. But I heard it on the radio the other day. I think it was may have been Pink
wingattebaby16 | 384 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

Playing hard to get...

Most guys will NOT ask you out again if you tell them NO...

If you want to go out with a guy or girl, GO!!

2|5

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- lernulo
  
  29 d
  It's true, most healthy men will accept a not by what it is.
- admles
  
  28 d
  I wish more girls had your understanding!
0112358 | 3.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Master

1 mo

Tbh almost all the advice I got was bad.

I see a lot of guys here have gone 180 degrees from traditionally cheery bad advice to over applying/ misapplying the opposite pick up style advice.

Truth is somewhere in the middle.

1|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Moderation is key
- 0112358
  
  1 mo
  As an example, applied properly “fake it till you make it” is excellent advice. So is “be yourself”. But both are terrible when misapplied.
tartaarsaus | 736 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

29 d

I was told that my female friends, with whom I have been friends for years and hang out almost every single day, would want to date and fuck me because usually they do pay attention to what I say and compliment me.

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Iwillfindyou21
Xper 5

28 d

I will probably get hates for this, but I strongly dislike it when I ask for advice about my crush, and most people answer with "Tell him how you feel!!". This is kinda annoying. I always lived by the thought that taking small steps forward is better than immediately doing all the bigger things.

2|0

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- Jamie05rhs
  
  28 d
  Is expressing feelings that big of a thing?
- Iwillfindyou21
  
  28 d
  @Jamie05rhs Yes. Letting him know is a huge thing, because it basically decides what's happening next. It is better if you get to know each other first.
- Jamie05rhs
  
  28 d
  What, in your mind, is "happening next"? I'm truly curious.
- Show All Show Less
- Iwillfindyou21
  
  28 d
  @Jamie05rhs He can start to hate me
- Jamie05rhs
  
  28 d
  @Iwillfindyou21 How? Why?
- Iwillfindyou21
  
  28 d
  @Jamie05rhs Teenage boys do not think in the same ways as adults do. You have to admit.
- Jamie05rhs
  
  28 d
  @Iwillfindyou21 I'm trying to think back on the time when I was a teenager. That was quite a while ago. However, I can't remember any instance whatsoever where I hated a girl because she expressed feelings for me. Only the one time when a girl drew a picture of a dick and gave it to me; I was grossed out by that. I guess if she showed a little more class I probably would have been okay with it. But you also have to realize I was only 14 at the time.
- Iwillfindyou21
  
  28 d
  @Jamie05rhs I just don't want to tell, end of the story. It really is too risky.
- Jamie05rhs
  
  28 d
  @Iwillfindyou21 That is your choice.
yeahkenickie
Xper 1

28 d

Never ask the guy first/initiate anything. You can subtly hint, but that's it. Guys like to be in control. Totally terrible advice 😂 luckily, I didn't follow it, and had a great time in my first relationship where I asked him to make it official, I asked him o dance at prom, and I initiated our first kiss. Better advice: Never sit idle just because someone else wants to feel powerful. Ask for what you want

1|1

0|0
Ripper_E | 1.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

29 d

To accept what most girls do in regards to playing games and insecurities, because otherwise I'll always be alone

That's stupid. I'm not going to settle for something childish.

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0|0
lernulo | 444 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 7

29 d

Be yourself is the worst and the best advice someone can give you about dating.
The worst: I didn't have any social skill and I thought that if some girl didn't like me, it was her fault, no improve no changes...
The best: discover who you really are before going to the field ND after use this advice, it has presented me a lot of girls

1|1

0|0
- roland77
  
  28 d
  Being authentic makes you attractive. Also showing her your emotions is best advice. Not showing such thing worst.
Mr_Kapstar
Xper 5

1 mo

To change your profile description. Let's be real, physical attraction is the very first thing that kicks in.. Therefore, if she isn't impressed by you (or already has a full inbox) what makes someone think that just changing your description will do the trick smh.

1|0

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noellegwendolyn
Xper 1

29 d

I told my guy friend that the person I was chatting was asking for nude pictures. He told me that I should try sending one because I might bag myself a boyfriend. He's a shitty friend, I know.

2|1

0|0
Randomawkwardness | 327 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

1 mo

To tease them and slowly drag them along. I mean, obviously don't just quickly jump into things but dragging things out just makes them lose interest and it wastes time.

2|1

0|0
ForteExe | 197 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

1 mo

"Fake it til you make it" was probably the worst advice I got. Nothing gets a girl wetter than lying to her face.

2|0

0|0
- ForteExe
  
  1 mo
  *blatant sarcasm* in case it wasn't obvious.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Coming from you, I should hope it's sarcasm
- ForteExe
  
  1 mo
  Lol no need to hope. It was trash advice that I never bothered to try to see if it works or not.
- Show All Show Less
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I think "Fake it till you make it" is terrible advice in most cases. I certainly wouldn't want my surgeon applying that philosophy
- ForteExe
  
  1 mo
  Only ones that works for are actors. It's their job to be fake.
OddBeMe | 318 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

1 mo

The right one is out there for everyone. It’s bullshit and keeps people from productive relationships because they think they haven’t found perfection.

1|1

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  If there were someone out there for everyone, nobody would get divorced or die alone. Some people don't deserve love because they're not respectful or caring enough
- OddBeMe
  
  1 mo
  I agree thats why that phrase is bs.
- Screenwriter
  
  1 mo
  Yet, you constantly see, "How would you describe the PERFECT boyfriend?"... Well, there isn't one. You can describe qualities you'd like, but you'll never get all of what you like in one person and perhaps the other things about that person that you wouldn't choose are better qualities anyway...
- Show All Show Less
- OddBeMe
  
  28 d
  Yep, and I think it’s about connection more than actual attributes. My wife and I don’t share a lot of preferences. But we have a connection that lets us discuss complex stuff, make jokes with each other, and have a sexual attraction for each other.
humanearth | 714 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

Go ahead and fuck her friend it will make her jealous and she'll come baxk to you

2|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Yeah that's up there on the list
- Linda625
  
  1 mo
  That’s terrible
- humanearth
  
  1 mo
  @Linda625 Yes it is. I really heard my friend this my other friend this 20 some years ago
- Show All Show Less
- Linda625
  
  1 mo
  Oh don’t do that again
- humanearth
  
  1 mo
  @Linda625 well send a message
Derick529 | 56 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 5

1 mo

"Talk and flirt with other girls just to make the one you like jealous", "presist on asking her", "touch her arm", seen some friends getting backfired by this.

2|1

0|0
- roland77
  
  28 d
  Why did you date her in the first place? Because you like others? Not nice on her.
- Derick529
  
  28 d
  @roland77 Atcually I don't do that, however I've seen many of my friends do this type of moves. If I like a girls I would go directly to her and let her know how I feel.
- roland77
  
  28 d
  @Derick529 Oh, lord English language has you and you for different meanings... I mean with "you" non-personal. :-)
KillianK
Xper 3

1 mo

To try and be "mysterious." "MY LIFE IS AN OPEN BOOK, JOHN, THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK!" -Me, highschool senior year

2|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Lol. Being mysterious is a good way to sketch a girl out
- KillianK
  
  1 mo
  Really, I think the mysterious ones just creep people out. And when I tried it, people thought I was plotting an attack on the school. So, eh, no. Mysterious does not equal relationships
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Lol that's actually a funny story. Now that humor is a. good quality
- Show All Show Less
- KillianK
  
  1 mo
  My entire family is full of comedians, and my first joke as a bad pun when I was around 2 years old. So I know how to make thing humorous.
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  I've heard people say that women love "mysterious" guys, but never understood that either. What does "being mysterious" even mean? Just never talking to people and always keeping to yourself, hiding your intentions, etc?
- KillianK
  
  28 d
  Ikr, dafuq does it mean?
Cherokeehp | 428 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

28 d

If he cheats on you then it’s your fault for not pleasing him and you should apologize and try to do better to please him. This was advice from a family friend.

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0|0
Anonymous

28 d

Best dating advice I got was your MyTake on LDRs
Worst? I don't know, My older brother told me if I didn't kiss on the first date it means the girl doesn't want me. He told me at 13 and because of that I tried kissing girls wayyy too early.

1|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  27 d
  Aw thank you
  
  I would say 13 is definitely too young to always kiss on the first date. As an adult, it makes more sense, but you do still risk kissing a girl too early. That's a good point
- Opinion Owner
  
  27 d
  Haha even at 23, I still dont kiss on the first date. I learned my lesson. its best to get to know each other first
Anonymous

28 d

The worst dating advice I’ve ever gotten was from my parents. They told me to always pay for everything and bend over backwards for girls. I can forgive them that they grew up in a different traditional generation. But I HATED them for that nice guy brainwashing bullshit., especially my mother.

2|0

0|0
- sapphireruby
  
  28 d
  Yeah, most girls want a guy with some back bone.
- Opinion Owner
  
  28 d
  @sapphireruby well I’ve improved since my late 20s. Had to evaluate what was impressed on me.
Y3llow
Xper 4

28 d

"Make him jealous". That is a perfect gateway into an unhealthy relationship.

4|0

0|0
Anonymous

28 d

The whole "play hard to get / act uninterested" thing. The amount of people (both genders, from what I hear and keep hearing) who still follow this game is one main reason of why the dating world is so exhauating. I'm so glad I'm done with it.

1|1

0|0
MzAsh | 246 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

28 d

My grandma told me to marry a rich man since I didn’t like cooking. Instead I just have one who’ll cook with me. 🍷

1|1

0|0
yourfavperson | 153 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 6

1 mo

If theyre mean to u they like u. Thankfully i knew this was bs before highschool. Also that if they chase u it means they want u.

2|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Haha sometimes people are mean to you because they're just mean people
- Jamie05rhs
  
  29 d
  Why would we chase someone if we didn't want them? Chasing is a lot of hard work.
- aWes0MeNeSs
  
  28 d
  @Jamie05rhs Unfortunately, some people just like to play "catch and release". Fortunately, that's mostly a high school game from my experience (I saw it happen a lot then, but not so much since), but there are a few who like to chase someone just to see if they can get them interested, but then don't really want them once they get them.
- Show All Show Less
- yourfavperson
  
  28 d
  Yup. Thought this was common knowledge
- CoolLovingmybf
  
  28 d
  @aWes0MeNeSs. It always college games. I also. seen it college too.
  
  .
winterfox10 | 2.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

28 d

I hate it when people talk about confidence like it's the secret to getting a woman. I know some jealous insecure little bitch dudes that pull way hotter girls than they should be able to. The secret to getting girls is to be fun

1|0

0|0
JSmuve | 2.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Guru

1 mo

Any dating advice is bad if not tailored to the individual and situation.

1|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  That is a bold statement, but I can agree with it for the most part
Alice2398 | 351 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

28 d

"Let him make the first move" held me back for years. If you want something go out and get it don't sit around waiting

1|1

0|0
little_bird1 | 818 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

28 d

Lower your standards. That means settling for less then you want/deserve. It's a recipe for disaster.

1|0

0|0
roland77
Xper 2

28 d

I didn't hear it from someone and I can think and feel on my own, but answering any incoming phone calls is not exactly attentive to your dating partner.

1|0

0|0
- roland77
  
  28 d
  Next thing: make her clear that you are interested in sex only but she isn't because "all women want sex". That is really bad. #sexism
flamiE
Xper 6

1 mo

If you date long enough to know all their flaws you should stay with them rather that finding someone else and get back to square one 🤷🏻‍♀️

1|0

0|0
BestUserName100 | 704 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

1 mo

I give bad advice all the time.. Seriously.. What were you thinking...

0|0

1|0
- BestUserName100
  
  1 mo
  Believing me xDDD..
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Could you share an example?
- BestUserName100
  
  1 mo
  Sorry gtg. I’m real real busy right now..
- Show All Show Less
- BestUserName100
  
  1 mo
  I’m about to go take a nap and do nothing.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  You're too busy to give an example, but not too busy to post 4 times?
- BestUserName100
  
  1 mo
  Yeah.. Pretty much..
Daniel3035 | 473 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

1 mo

Talk to her when she's alone (when are girls ever alone).

1|0

0|0
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Lol if she has an active social life, it's best to garner her friend's approval before asking her out. Otherwise they may try to prevent you from hitting on her
- Daniel3035
  
  1 mo
  What? So I need her friend's approval to get to know her now? I mean that's pretty ridiculous given what we have to do still. "IF" she feels she likes me we still have to date which costs money then we agree on boyfriend and girlfriend then we continue a relationship and all this takes a long time how longs it gonna take to get her friends approval?
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  Not that long. For example:
  
  If you see a girl in the library studying with her 3 friends, and you go right up to the one girl and ask if you can speak to her alone, she probably will feel too much pressure in front of her friends and not go. Her friends will then judge you for it. Whereas if you were to go up to the group and ask them a question relevant to what you're studying, that's a good way to get to know them--and her. Once you develop a rapport, you can then ask her out
  
  If you're interested in a girl who is never alone, then you better get her friend's approval too
  She is a girl who relies heavily on the influence of her friends, and she will probably not pursue you if you if her friends don't like you
  
  Whether a girl is heavily dependent on her friends or not, you should strive for the approval of her friends and family members and other people she cares about
  
  My best friend never liked my ex... then he ended up cheating on me. I probably should've listened more to her because she knows what kind of guys are good for me. But she thinks my current boyfriend is perfect for me, and I really appreciate the attempts he makes to get along with her even though they have completely clashing political and social views
- Show All Show Less
- Daniel3035
  
  1 mo
  I can understand this with my mother because she's always right with the right or wrong girl. But friends for me is like I feel she should be independent enough to not rely on her friends it's like your body and mind so you choose your relationships for yourself.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  1 mo
  I am pretty independent, but I still value my friend's opinions. Part of being a productive and assimilated member of society is valuing those around you. There's a certain amount of "dependence " that is healthy between people for stable and successful relationships
  
  A girl who doesn't value her friend's opinions isn't going to value yours
- Daniel3035
  
  29 d
  This is weird for me because I'm a lawyer and I suppose my life is built upon it so my view is generally you can listen to the advice of your friends but ultimately it's you who needs to choose given the evidence.
- Idonthaveausername
  
  28 d
  One of my aunts is a lawyer. Sometimes she is not as flexible with this kind of thing as she needs to be. It has caused serious tension with her church
  
  Sometimes it's good to take other people's views and opinions into consideration. It can help check you when you're being a bit too extreme
- Daniel3035
  
  28 d
  Then again realising I lied I actually listen to my mother’s advice.
Anonymous

28 d

"There's a perfect person out there for you." No one is perfect. When you are young, you should get to know other people with some fun dates just to practice socialization. You will love the imperfections of the 'perfect' person when you find them.

1|0

0|0
Corerue
Xper 5

1 mo

Look for the prettiest one with the lowest self esteem in the room.

*I work with the shittiest people on earth*

1|1

0|0
- roland77
  
  28 d
  Just a pretty (silly) lady. The real ladies are not pretty, they are lovely and carrying.
ShiftAC
Xper 4

28 d

"Be the gentleman, pay for the meal"

I was like wait wait hold on. My partner gotta show their individuality. I can't be the generous one all the time.

0|0

1|0
Frankiealaplaaja | 126 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Xper 5

28 d

Honestly the only dating advice I ever acted on was good.
But the worst advice I got was "get her drunk"... Didn't do that.
The most annoying one was "you be gentle with her!" - moms. As if...

1|0

0|0
JackSmy | 321 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yoda

28 d

Eharmony is great! I was told! What a lot of crap!!

1|0

0|0
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Vesuvius87 | 272 opinions shared on Dating topic. Guru · Accepted Answer

The more demanding, the more value I'll have. The guy will not mistaken me as someone easy. My mother would say that if a guy buys me something cheap, don't accept it. Instead throw it and request of greater quality.

My boyfriend loves me for not being a needy, demanding woman. Or else the relationship wouldn't have last. He hates golddiggers. In addition, he believes that if once in a while the guy spoils the girl (can be with either food, paying the whole date, an expensive gift, etc), the girl has to take turns and do the same to her man too... that it's not just a woman's wants and needs. It's even.

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