I believe weight preference and height preference are both okay, and it's literally the person's preference and attitude that decides for me if they are shallow. But I'll try to explain why one might find weight preference more problematic, at least this is what I think.
It's okay to prefer a certain level of bodyweight/bmi. But if they are like 'even a hair over 45 kg and you're a fat bitch' that's a huge red flag.
And same with the height thing. Anyone under 6'2" automatically being ruled out is excessive.
One might say people can control their weight but not their height and so height preference is shallower, and it is understandable to a degree especially when it comes to rejecting someone with an unhealthy bodyweight and unhealthy lifestyle which is okay.
But otherwise, this is also a reason why some people might see it as more shallow to reject someone for their weight than height. In case of height, at least you're either tall enough for her or you're not and it's that simple. But when it comes to weight, if a woman is in a healthy bodyweight and BMI it's very problematic for someone to turn up and say she's fat because she is not thin enough to his personal liking. This might lead to a perfectly healthy person thinking that they aren't doing something right and it can be mentally destructive. Someone being rejected for their height don't have to carry that burden because they already know they have no control over their height.
Another problem that arises is the lack of guarantee that someone will always be of their partner's weight preference. Again, if I marry a guy of my preferred height he will never have to be afraid that someday he might get shorter. But if a guy marries me because I fit into his preferred weight range, there is no guarantee that I can keep this weight up for the rest of my life. And it's so horrible to leave someone for gaining or losing weight! A short man doesn't have that kind of fear, he gets rejected right off the bat. So I can see why some women would see weight preference being more problematic than height preference. They don't like the idea of a relationship escalating to marriage, kids and all and then suddenly ending because of the number on a scale! And I don't either!
Your comments is about the worse crap ever written. How on earth can you say a height is to short for a girl, a girl don't needs guy taller, and you can never accept that we have a preference for things out of men hands to change. You can always change weight, boobs size , eye colour , and much more things, but you can nece become 6'6 tall if you are 5'8 tall. so to have a shallow Preference for height is the most unfair and evil thing we women can have.
I personally don't give a crap about height but ok karen
It's a preference, whether the guy is into curvy, chubby, slim, fit or whatever. Or if the woman is into tall, shirt or medium guys.
It's a matter of attraction altogether.
If my partner wasn't attracted to me, I would feel horrible.
So why not allow people to be into whatever they're into?
@purplepoppy your using height as a measuring stick for success that's not factual a checkable fact is not a true definite fact that's concrete it's more on the lines of a theory. Ok let me educate you on your statement yes obesity is insane because its easier o buy a meal then to monitor yourself blah blah blah so yes and now it's a trend to be a foodie which more women do then men on the other hand the scale for obesity was created in 1830 by a Belgian man that produces no true accuracy unless you're properly measured known as a BMI test so everyone knows ofpeople like The Rock and John Cena and Kai Greene who are ripped shredded sid walk crackin muhfuckas but because of some premade scale they're qualified as obese for their height and weight. So yes genetics account for some I agree but but until there is a definitive way to measure true obesity dont judge based of your own preconceived thoughts because and I digress most successful businessmen are obese or at one time was obese, successful military men once done with the fight typically put the pounds on so you can't say its greed, gluttony, and self control for bigger people and taller people are successful and dominant. We have our own struggles and problems so why not just say we're all human beings and stop categorizing people to objectively bully one label against another because we all have preferences as well as issues.
The whole issue is just that women feel entitled to the best since they receive so much positive attention early on in life.
An average girl doesn't see an average guy as her match because do many other men will shower her with compliments in the hopes of sex.
And if I could work out my height I would, but I'm cool with girls only wanting 6ft+ guys since it it's a preference. But it's pretty obviously more shallow than not wanting fatties.
A tall guy might have some small advantages in life but most of the time it never ends up being a practical difference. People quote success but I'm more successful than all my taller friends so I dont think it's a very noticeable trend.
Fat girls are prone to many health complications and pose a serious problem for anyone who likes doing things besides eating cheetos and watching Netflix.
And lastly girls might not like average or short men but they really look just the same as tall men. Add some big boots and you wouldn't even know he wasn't actually 6ft.
But fat people are physically deformed to the extent that nothing can mask it, so the lack of attraction makes much more sense.
Short men have bigger balonyponies..😂
Opinion
84Opinion
There's a difference between preferences and requirements.
A woman having a height preference and a guy having a weight preference is okay. It's only a problem if you require someone to be in a specific height or weight range and will not date anyone who is outside of that range even if it's slightly above/below it.
I think the reason why men get more hate when they say they want someone to be a certain weight, despite it being something you can change, is because people can have eating disorders. Just because someone is at a weight that is generally considered attractive doesn't mean that they are healthy. I think what's more important is how they became the size that they are rather than the actual size itself. Some people are at a desired weight because they chose to eat healthy and exercise. Some people ended up becoming the desired weight from starving themselves and over-exercising. Not everyone becomes severely underweight when having an eating disorder (atypical anorexia exists) so you wouldn't know. Therefore, you shouldn't judge anyone regardless of their size and not have such harsh weight requirements.
A lot of people can make healthier lifestyle choices but how your body reacts to those choices isn't in your control. You can increase the chances of your weight increasing/decreasing with your lifestyle choices, but it's not 100% guaranteed that you will be at the desired size that you want to be. Some people don't need to do too much work to become a healthy weight because their metabolism might be fast enough to help them, for some people they might not be able to be the desired size without over-restricting.
It's okay to not want someone obese or underweight, but not everyone is healthiest and happiest while being the size of a Victoria Secret model or a K-pop star. It's okay for people to just be in the middle, or even slightly under or overweight as long as they are not in the extreme. As long as they are trying their best to be healthy it shouldn't be a problem. Your lifestyle is more important than how you look and your lifestyle will not always show through the way you look.
Another reason why men get attacked for wanting a woman to be a certain size is because, when choosing a guy based on height, their height will never change so the guy doesn't have to worry about it changing. But when it comes to weight, there will be that constant worry and stress of it changing. That can lead to poor body image and self-esteem issues and it might even trigger eating disorders/disordered eating to develop.
It is a bit of a double standard; however, I have learned that when a man has a preference, he is an asshole.
Before I met my girlfriend, I used to put in my dating profile (not my exact words, obviously):
-I want a woman who is college educated.
-I want a woman who enjoys working out and anime.
-I want a woman who doesn't smoke weed.
-I want a woman who is goal oriented and doesn't spend time twerking at night clubs.
When I put those preferences in my profile, women would match me just to tell me that I was an asshole for expecting too much and that I need to lower my standards and be more accepting. Yet, you would see all these women who have REALLY outrageous demands when it came to dating men.
I do kind of think the height thing is ridiculous, because most women want men are 6 feet and up, especially women who are like 5 feet exactly. If women said they just want a man who is taller than them, that is reasonable.
As far as weight is concerned, I don't think having a weight requirement is a bad thing, because unlink height, weight is more associated with health. I wouldn't want an overweight partner, mainly because I focus on my health and I would want a woman to do the same.
Ah yes. The female entitlement dominating the world today.
In her 20's : "Is he handsome?"
In her 30's : "Is he rich?"
In her 40's : "WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL GOOD MEN! WTF! MAN UP AND DATE ME YOU LOSERS! can't YOU HANDLE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN?"
Not sure why this was thumbed down lol. But I can relate to this. Its true for me
There is a clear line between "preference " and "Prejudice" (of which being shallow is an aspect). Liking X more than Y without ruling out Y's potential is "preference". However, liking X and completely disqualifying Y as a result is "prejudice".
In this case: Liking someone taller while still being open to someone the same height or shorter is "preference". Disqualifying all men (or women) under a certain height however, or who aren't taller than you is nothing more than prejudice. Even more-so because height cannot be changed (unlike weight)
The same logic applies to other supposed "preferences".
"She said she prefers tall men and my male coworker said he prefers curvy fit women. She got upset and called him shallow."
This is women in a nutshell. A lot of them cannot recognize their own hypocrisy and deem their physical preferences as being perfectly justified while chastising men for their preferences.
See we feel this about y’all.
Guy; I want this, and this, and this, and this
Me: I don’t want the guy to have a dad bod
Guy: not fair!!!
Me: 😒
@hsshannah96 I never understood the dad bod craze. It looks lazy and as an excuse to not take care of oneself.
That’s how I feel too
It's the old saw: No one else will want them. There is nothing attractive about the Chris Pratt Parks and Recreation bod. He looked like a sausage. I'm not talking muscle bound. Toned and fit. Chris Hemsworth looks better with his NOT Thor body in MIB Intern'l. A little padding on women is OK. But it doesn't look good on men. I think because evident musculature on men indicates a healthy amount of testosterone and fertility. Whereas some fat padding on women indicates fertility.
@Screenwriter I agree
I prefer guys between 6ft and my height! I’m 5”4, so I’m def not tall. This is kinda unrelated but my history teacher is very tall, and when I go to talk to him I legit have to look all the way up, like I’m cloudgazing! I don’t wanna do that with my husband! I also just find shorter guys really cute! But, 6ft is perfectly fine! I think that’s my dad’s height.
Well its a preference but yes women are absolutely hypocritical about this (no surprise their). I mean you cannot claim your preference is acceptable and anothers isn't without being a hypocrite yet this is precisely what every (or at least the overwhelming majority) woman claims, that if a man doesn't want a girl who is over weight he is shallow but her wanting a guy who is above average in height is a "preference", him wanting a woman that doesn't sleep around is "shallow/sexist", her not wanting a player is "having standards", etc. etc. Again, its hypocritical but it is expected.
No, it doesn't bother me at all, probably because I'm over 6' tall. But I'm also realistic, because I know that I'm picky about the girls I date too, so I accept that they have the right to be picky just the same. The guys who get mad over this are the short guys who are angry in general at what they perceive as their diminished status in life. And let's be honest, girls can be very cruel to boys and men they perceive as being weak. So there's a lot of smoke there, but there is some fire, too. But overall, I think most realistic people accept that others have dating standards.
I say the answer more lies in hypocrisy particularly on the women's part because you can't really change height like you could weight and second is the "preference" for both genders alike goes back to the same reason anyway. So why should men be the only ones called shallow for it?
Personally, I didn't really think about this stuff much until I started reading men's experience more a couple years ago and now I don't feel as encouraged about dating.
Weight preference is stupid though, it has nothing to do with how fat yo are. A dress size preference would be more accurate.
A preference is a preference, anyone has standards. I shouldn't be forced to like someone just because refusing them would. label me as shallow.
Expect your height preference being called stupid too then. If you don't show acceptance for other people's preferences, nobody will show for yours either.
here's the deal women and men both think that women are the prize but actually they're not because the men are the workhorses they are in the money and they maintain their looks longer than women women hit the wall about 29 30 35 definitely after 40 their bodies go to s*** for the most part but men s*** you go to 78 years old and still be fit and have money to why you think people ain't getting married while you think all these things are closing down these wedding shops men ain't getting married no more cuz women gone batshit crazy
It used to bother me. But around 20 I realized guys are shamed pretty often for their "preferences" and standards. Its why most guys don't really have them. They'll fuck anyone.
No, my standards are extremely high. I judge girls on everything all the time and have more success and I'm more often satisfied.
If a woman of interest overlooks all of my other qualities because of a height preference, she’s definitely not someone I need to spend time pursuing. It doesn’t bother me. I have my preferences too.
If a woman of interest overlooks her height preference because of all of my other qualities she’s someone worth getting to know.
How’s that for an answer? 😉
There is a massive problem here. 99% of women can lose the extra weight, but 99% of men can't frow an extra 10cm in hight. So it's a false equivalency to start with.
Other than that, no it doesn't bother me. I don't wear pink glasses when i go out. We are all getting discriminated against for a fuckton of diferent reasons. Me for being short, some 2m girl for being tall; me for having a hair, another guy for being bald. The world is not a just place, so stop complaining and bear your own cross. We all have one.
If women see a weight preference as shallow then their height preference is even shallower. You can't change your height. So you saying you prefer something that is outside the man's control is pretty shallow. A person can change their weight. I have done it (although only within 20 pounds). So a woman can change to fit a guy's weight preference a guy can't to fit a woman's height preference.
It isn't shallow if you choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle and I am not attracted to that lifestyle and what it does to them. It's shallow to think the height is a preference. You can't control height but you sure as shit can manage your weight and diet.
I like taller dudes too. I think is ridiculous when women say a guy is shallow if he likes curvy women... like it's his type? Just like some of us like taller guys, fit guys, etc. There's a lot of double standards in the dating world
this is hypocrisy and a dumb one at that
weight can be controlled don't be a lazy ass glutonius bitch and don't get fat
but a man can't do anything for his height if they could there would be no guy who is bellow 5'11 or 6ft tall in this earth.
B and C, in this case.
Also, height and weight are not the same catagory. While they are both appearance, you can change your weight to an extent. I'd say use weight as an example for both sides.
Is a man shallow for not wanting to date a fat woman?
Is a woman shallow for not wanting to date a fat man?
Weight can be changed, height can't. So laziness and carelessness for your health is a far more valid reason to not date someone than them not being tall, which can't be changed. I'm getting you a dunce cap for Christmas, no matter how many times we say it, you never get the message.
I am currently searching for a partner but I don't look at those properties. On my dating site, I have already been bombarded with more than 100 likes from all shapes and sizes but I still can't find the matching one.
My main criteria is to look at the person's proper personality and matching interests before moving forward, otherwise once that initial passion over visual appearance fizzles off, there will be a very weak force to keep each other together.
There's nothing wrong with having personal preferences; the problem is with people who feel entitled to have their own ideals but then complain when they don't match someone else's ideals. What you described was certainly hypocrisy, but I don't see an issue with a woman wanting a man of a certain height as long as she doesn't get pissed off when he wants a woman of a certain weight.
Not at all. When it comes to dating, it's all about personal preferences. I prefer women with long hair, at least shoulder length hair, not short like marine guys. Everyone has dating perferences and you're entitled to it because it's not a nessessity of life, it's like an icecream flavor -- everyone has their preference, and if you don't like it, move on. It's that simple.
You should have had both B&C as an option. I think it's anyone's preference who they want to sleep with. If the system was some rando gets dumped at my door and we have to fuck, hell, I probably won't because of the have to part. "Well tonight she's a meth head, but she's skinny!" It is hypocritical as well. Everyone does, and should have standards, if we just fucked everyone in sight we wouldn't get anything accomplished, and the infant mortality rate would be obscene.
Both are just preferences and people are entitled to like what they like and it's not really something people can control though either, I mean we like what we like.
I'm like 5'2 as well and aren't bothered by my height, but the coworker example about someone getting upset is a double standard too, like it's okay for one to have a preference, but not the other, so I agree with you.
It's what it is.
Women won't change their behavior, hell women will encourage dangerous behaviors to prove a point and stay in dangerous situations rather than admit they were wrong, so there's no use complaining.
If women get mad about their weight then oh well, it won't change what I want either.
Both preference are shallow but at least you can change your weight. No matter what you try to do your height is never gonna change, so the height preference is more shallow (even if both are shallow).
Totally agree I’m surprised a girl is acknowledging our point of view but I agree, sexual attraction is not a politically correct thing and we shouldn’t feel bad for saying what actually turns us on. I’m 5’11 so I usually don’t ever feel too short unless a girl is super tall I guess.
I say shallow cause I’ve ran into some dope chicks who were tallish years ago and ruled them out. Noticing other qualities I should’ve went past that but not even saying they were gonna be dated just back then cause they were tall it wouldn’t have been an option. Now I’m accepting who she is however she is
I think its a preference, I also believe subconsciously no woman wants to look down at her man. She wants to look at or up at him and be proud to be with him. Guys on the other hand i believe don't care about height or weight as long as he is attracted to her
It's just a matter of attraction in the way some people like red and others like blue. I love my women tall and dominant and so everybody has his or her preferences, but has nothing to de with shallow i think. When you get to know each other these preferences will slide into the background.
I'm tall so it doesn't bother me but if I was short it probably would. But I've been very unsuccessful in dating despite my height so I'm not the reason you're not getting any girls if you're short guys XD.
If your in the less desired group (short and fat) it's shallow if you're in the more desired group ( tall and skinny) it's preference. Simple as that.
How would you feel if you were eliminated from contention without ever being given an audition?
I'm 6 and a half feet tall so i don't have this problem. But i do know it's so prevalent with women. That any woman that is 5'8" or over turns me off. Because i can't help but feel she is just drawn to my height. I'm not some piece of meat.
The height thing isn't a problem, but don't tell me I'm selfish or shallow for any preference I have. Attraction is subjective: you can't force it upon someone. We're all naturally drawn to certain things.
There are things we can control and can't. Weight? Go on a damn diet. Height? Find the girl who'll accept you for your height.
Usually deem those females as not girlfriend material and move on with life even if I should fit in to her criterias. even wish her good luck with someone that's in to someone like her if she tries to get me.
Height is associated with success and dominance. Fat is associated with greed, gluttony and lack of self control.
I disagree with you about the whole comment. Not everyone gains weight because they sit around and eat all the time. Genetics plays a factor, sleep schedule plays a huge factor, it's been proven that if you do cut your meals but dont have an adequate sleep schedule you will not lose weight.
Height doesn't have shit to do with success or dominance because I've met some tall people who are still doing the same boring shit they've been doing for the past 5 years and are big time bitchs that won't stand up for themselves. It's a matter of perception and upbringing that insures our traits as well as daily living.
@mobster30
Those were usually gluttonous nobles who probably wouldn't even be considered that fat by today's standards. And trust me we dont need to store 3+ months worth of fat, it doesn't even make sense too because by that time you're probably completely deficient of nutrients.
The checkable fact is most men in executive roles are over 6ft. Yes there are success small men but statistically they're the exception not the rule. As for fat people they'll blame everything and. anything except themselves. Genetics can account for a couple of pounds but not for the levels of obesity we see today.
People having preferences is just a part of life. If they're too rigid about it, they lose out on good potential partners.
Most women prefer to date taller men and most people prefer someone who is healthy. What’s the mystery?
its def a preference, unless a woman truly has no height preference she def can't get mad that guys have a weight/ body size pref
What I can't believe is that it's actually a "deal breaker" for some women! For something he has NO control over. And they aren't realistic "expectations" ether. Example wanting a guy over 6' tall. Most guys aren't. At least not that I see. It would be interesting to know the ratio over the entire world. I know some guys can be unrealistic also when it comes to women, but women seem to be less flexible when it comes to this?
Not really, the height preference is natural and it's accepted so that's half the battle won. The weight preference is also natural and those who fight against it will learn that the hard way.
When someone has their own physical preferences but belittles others for also having preferences, it's hypocritical.
It's a preference but you can't make that comparison because women have weight preferences too lol. It'd me comparable to men having a very strong boob size preference.
Why can't they ask what height you are aswell? Do they think women can't feel insecure over their height
Men generally dont care about women's height though.
Trust me I'm pretty sure no Male cares about height
I'd say most of us really don't care about your height. So instead we take something we care about as you care about height - weight. Notice you caring about height isn't a problem if you let us care about weight too 😅
Personally I think a tall woman or a large woman is not only sexy but more attractive than the counterpart mainly because she feels some sort of guilt or lack of something she admires and someone else but regardless it's subjective and that's all there is to it.
"She said she prefers tall men and my male coworker said he prefers curvy fit women. She got upset and called him shallow. I just feel it's a preference" That always blows my mind 😂 the former really can't be helped and the latter can but they think its okay 😂😂
Lo never thought of this but that’s so true 🤣 and no it does not bother me cause I’m 6,1 and well don’t like fat girls
I would say her preference is shallow if she has a specific height. If she doesn't, then neither of them are shallow. Genetics play a part in both height and weight though so I can understand why people have such preferences.
I can't control my height. And some women can't control their weight. So to ask that of the perfect man that's a few inches off, well expect it when a man doesn't like your fake hair or small chest or big butt (or lack their of for some.)
Anything to be the victim.
I like tall guys but you're not allowed to like thin girls.
I like guys that make a lot of money but you're not allowed to dislike girls who don't work at all.
I like guys who don't have kids but you're not allowed to dislike girls who have had 1+ kids from previous relationships.
You can't compare weight preferences to height preferences, because you are completely incapable of changing your height.
It can be shallow if it's slightly different. Like if a woman is slightly over weight and a man says no. Or if a man is slightly shorter.
The double standards, entitled attitude and hypocrisy of modern women do bother me. I understand they have preferences in men and that's OK, but they need to stop whining and taking offense at ever preference men have in women.
Nope, she can have all the height preference she wants. I hope she has a minimum dk size too.
It's preference as i see it , like some want date curvy /thinner Women
while other girls want to date Men , Taller and well built it can vary?
It's not the same because - Height can't be changed, you can't "become taller".
Weight on the other hand can be changed, you can lose weight if you eat less and/or workout.
There is nothing wrong with preferences for Anyone. Why be with someone you have no interest in to please others.
People have their preferences but it's hypocritical when you have your preferences and you judge others for having their own preferences
I dont care, everyone has preferences.
And if a woman does not want to date me, because I am not tall enough, she is not the right woman for me anyways.
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