If a woman sleeps with a man on the first date does it diminish their chances of having a long term relationship with that guy?

Question

el_Te_de_la_Rosa · Accepted Answer

My answer is Yes.

I'm curious about the result. It would be a man's experience level? It seems like ones who are able to have more opportunities in meeting women are more selective. No matter it's because they are more attractive, famous or wealthier. This applies to beautiful women as well. Since there will always be people who are willing to throw themselves at them, they can see the pattern and compare a person to another. For some people who have less chance or aren't very good looking... or less confident, they would have their intention to have sex first. I noticed many average men on the dating site state they're looking for "hookups". Why? Because in their real life, it's hard to find someone to sleep with.

If all of this is true, it'd be the answer why men disgust a woman who sleeps around, but at the same time, they whine when a woman refuses to sleep "with him" soon.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/665Os4x4f9g

I found this and am still confused... He noted that a promiscuous woman is like a free dish who everybody can taste, but sounded annoyed when someone said no hookups to him.

SydneySentinel · Accepted Answer

Yes, even though said man obviously had sex with her too and somehow he doesn't see it as reflecting negativity upon himself. He doesn't respect her but he engaged in the behavior as well.

Shamalien · Accepted Answer

let me clear this up for all of you...

YES, OH MY GOD, YES

the only long term relationships that come out of that will be the slow shitty failure, as opposed to the fast shitty failure. I don't know who is giving women bad advice on this, probs men who want to pump n dump, keep the ladies naive so they will be easier to take advantage of, that's the wisdom behind this disinfo. Girls you gotta learn something from your grandmother and stop putting out on the first date

Paul09 · Accepted Answer

I mean I'd take sex, if I had the opportunity. But I'd rather wait if we are looking for something serious. It would not be easy. But I believe in making a mental connection first to see if we click, then after a certain amount of time we can bring in the physical connection. Sex might fool you into a relationship. But it still might be possible to connect after sex on first date, but slimmer chances. Might fade away and cause complications and that is what I think.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

An actual date? Between two people who don't know each other? Yes, I believe it does.
Which begs the question why even attempt to sleep with her on first date if you're going to judge her for it afterwards?
Also shows double standards still apply. Men don't get judged/labeled for having sex or even for pressuring someone into having sex on first date. It's ok because"boys will be boys".
If a man attempts sex on first date, it won't get to a second date for me because I usually state upfront I don't jump in bed with strangers and I want to take the time to know you before it gets to that level.
If they know that upfront and"still" attempt sex anyway, it shows me that they're a person that will always put their wants/needs above everything else. Not someone I want to be in a relationship with.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I want a woman who thinks that sex is more than just a recreational activity.

sejla · Answer

I'm a waiter like at least a couple months but I would find a man who viewed a woman unworthy of having a long term relationship based on the fact she slept with him on the first date a bit hypocritical. I think some people have had successful relationships who have done it that way. If a man is a decent man it can go somewhere or he will at least be decent enough to say it is just what it is a one night stand that's it before he has sex with the woman.

btbc92 · Answer

A lot of people who say no are often kidding themselves and putting that woman in jeopardy. Many guys sadly do not respect a woman he slept with on or even before there even Is a date. It's often just sex anyway. And yes, it does finishes their chances. And there are scientific evidence that have always proven that premarital sexual encounters causes problems psychologically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Not just physically. This is why so many women end up with either abusive men, or men lusting after other women or the relationship doesn't last. Doesn't lead to marriage. And even if they do get married it usually ends in divorce at some point or turned into a sexless relationship compared to couples who waited it out and valued getting to know each other. And most women are even happier. Women who do that on the first date often end up with guilt, over thinking which 9/10x she is usually correct about, anxiety and depression. It's even worse when the guys just wants friends with benefits and nothing more.

Those again who say no only do so because it would make them hypocrites if they say yes knowing they mainly are in it for the sex and would take it anyway they could.

A man will always judge her in the back of his mind, no matter what his actions or words tell her. If he sees benefits for himself of course he'll let it slide. But most logical men would not even attempt to pursue further with a woman who comes on too strong or on him for sex. It often means she have nothing else to offer and fool men into being with her. Worse if it's a "Wam, bam, thank you ma'am"

Daisy007 · Answer

Yes!!! Especially my age (acc. To the votes no) BUT it does at my age (& any really) u need to make it clear to yourself & to the other person involved what you want out of it? If you want a relationship WAIT if you're looking for a casual hookup (what that would infer) thenn go for it, they won't take it serious tho u gave it up too soon

Ally247 · Answer

I would say it does. It shows you're available, hints that that was the intention all along, and shows that you're easy to put out and would do so with others, on other first dates.

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

Normally I'd say yes, but there are exceptions...
Let me explain.
If you have sex on the first date with a person that you've never met before, yes it does.
There are also cases where two people are in the same cycle of activities, group of friends, etc for years and know each other pretty well and maybe they do like each other but neither had the guts to make the first move.
Now if those two people go on a date after knowing each other for so long and they end up having sex, I don't think that it will have the same impact.
Because the desire for each other might be there for a while now and didn't arise out of the blue in that one hour that they are sitting at the same table...

emmily2396 · Answer

Guys said no, but on other polls they said they don't expect physical contact on a first date...

I honestly think it is better not to have sex on the first few dates. Why? Some guys are fuckboys, some women are doing that too. By making them wait a bit you save yourself the problems that come with those type of people. Someone interested in a relationship will be more interested in you 2 getting comfortable and getting to know each other. Someone just wanting sex will lose their patience quickly in most cases.

Also, sex should be an intimate thing, not something you do with random people...

eviegurl · Answer

I do not sometimes it just depends like I had a three year relationship with the love of my life and we binned the first time we hung out and like a billion times afterwards so I don't think it does maybe for some definitely of your terrible in bed or something that makes them not wanna do it again honestly I think it may actually hurt your chances in some cases might make the guy feel like your not I to them and then again they might just want a hookup really it depends on how you click it's there or it's not either way gotta find out sooner or later so may as well not waste anytime

Daniela1982 · Answer

I wouldn't classify it as a date but more of a hookup for sex. I'm pretty sure both of them were hoping for it and got what they wanted. I'm thinking it wouldn't have mattered what the other looked like they just wanted to fuck or get fucked. As for the long term, people who fuck on the first date are not looking for anything long term, they just like the thrill of fucking as many different people as they can. I mean come on, these rabbits can't wait until at least the 3rd date. Do they actually know anything about the person? For all they know the other may be already married and in a relationship and just like a little action on the side - AKA cheaters. But calling it a date? Nah, more like prostitution. Guy pays for her dinner and gets fucked.

SueAnon84 · Answer

Well honestly, the closest I've ever come to "too fast" a sex would be the second date! ... This was back in 2014 when I was 30... That was dumb and the guy was a ass regardless... However, my fiance (ex now... yeah... long story and no it wasn't because I slept with him too soon...) and I did it within the first two weeks of dating... so no I do NOT agree that it ruins anything... Usually couples break up for more serious a reason than that. definitely not that! ... Sex is too awesome and special to break off with someone over! I had problems with his stupid past and ex wife /baby mama so...

razelove · Answer

I think it diminishes the relationship, but the opposite of one of the choices you have listed. "Buyer's remorse" is one I've run into more times than I can count. Women respecting men who can wait is a factor there as well. I've had very many dates go well, communicate, get close, start making out, sleep with each other, go to sleep, wake up the next morning, and she's acting fidgety. Worried about what her roommates will think, her boyfriend that I'm just finding out about, whatever.

I'd like to think it's that I'm just bad in bed, or something I could do different, but then why have there been several women who've cheated on their husbands, boyfriends, or fiance's to be with me? I don't get it, maybe that's one the ladies could explain, or if there's a better term they have for a Monday night lay and Tuesday morning regret.

NineBreaker · Answer

I think it has to do with the individual's perception of this particular behavoor. I'm sure there are guys who would feel that way; possibly quite a few.

Again there are some important factors, like cultural relativism: In some cultures, yes, that's a common belief. In others, not so much.

Goodwifie · Answer

I've lost respect for men who pushed me for sex on the first date. They definitely didn't get a second date with me.

Peanut127 · Answer

ehhh, yes and no, I've had plenty one night stands, even if it was after two weeks talking first (i lost my hearing at 17) so first dates, guys came to my house. few stuck around but some stayed fuck buddy friends. its a little 'trial and error' based on where u met them or ur 'culture' where u live. IMHO

ChiTown33 · Answer

Yes. And the results of this poll is sad. When a woman sleeps with a guy that quickly he doesn't respect her because she clearly doesn't even respect herself.

CollegeGirl007 · Answer

Good question! Currently dealing with this now and wondering if I slept with a guy who liked me too soon.

Unirocks · Answer

I’ve never understood these “rules”. The only rule I agree with is that you should have sex only when you are comfortable. I, for one, would take at least a few months of knowing and dating a guy before getting physically involved, since I don’t feel comfortable before that. However, everyone is different. There should be no rules as such. Two consenting adults should be able to do whatever they please

coolhandroo · Answer

If you hit it off to the extent that its a go then sweet. I think a long term relationship has a better chance if there's a ravenous desire to get as much as you can with this person and I don't mean now, I mean right Fucking now. If it seems like something she does with everyone then you've got a whore. But shouldn't "the one" make you want them so bad You don't even fuck around with the logic and math of the thing? I mean that rabbits in heat faze don't last long enough as it is so why tread water when you've got it. Sorry for rambling

Anonymous · Answer

No.

It's already established based on the interaction of personalities as to whether it will last or not. If they're compatible, then sex will expedite things and deepen the relationship. If they're not compatible, then it will fizzle out whether sex happened or not.

However, what would influence the chances of compatibility would be body count.

So if you're a virgin and I really like you and we have sex on the first date then I think we're going to do well.

If you're not and there's not chemistry there and there was no sex, then you're still not going to be very promising.

Anonymous · Answer

My current relationship I’m in now was supposed to be a one-night stand. However, that didn’t happen and I had to see him a couple days later and well I spent the night with him again. That was June 2007. We have been together for almost 13 years and have three kids now.
Not going to say we’re happy because no couple is always happy and if they say they are they’re lying. But out of all the dumb shit I did in my younger days I’m glad I did that. He is honestly the best thing that has happened to me and our kids as well.

UnicornLobotomy · Answer

I voted yes based on how a recent relationship of mine hashed out, this became one of the issues surrounding some other drama, it all happened while my best friend and his girlfriend married they waited quite a while before sex.

x태성인수x · Answer

I respect a woman who knows what they want and gets it.

If SHE wanted to have sex on the first date. I respect that
If she just had sex on the first date because she felt pressured or was afraid of losing the guy. I don't respect that.

It's not the sex or the principles of morality. It's whether she's brave or not.
People respect bravery and intentions. Not the timing of when genitals touch.

HomoFuge · Answer

I think it does because a man might interpret this as being a hookup. Also, although it is wrong, some men are still influenced by the perception that if a woman has sex with a man so soon it means she is easy.

Of course, there have been lots of people who had sex on first date and are now in long term relationships. However, I still think it’s better to wait and get to know someone before jumping into their bed.

sagevalentineee · Answer

I've heard men say that when a girl holds out a bit they view her differently to a girl who wants to have sex quickly. And I've heard men say they would rather a girl does what is natural and goes for it.

I actually had sex with my boyfriend the third day I knew him, we were staying in the same ski hotel and just finished dinner together. It was very unexpected and I blame him for seducing me. We've been dating for a year.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

If the two are getting so well, it doesn't matter, if this does matter it wouldn't work out otherwise.

However man and woman who are only looking for a long term relationship may have other priotities either way and not "waste" time just for sex and rather talk something meaningfull.

scholastic_vibez · Answer

This really kind seems like a stigma that’s some kind of hold over from very virginal, biblical thinking. I never thought of a girl as a slut for sleeping with me on the first or second date. I don’t think most guys think that either. At the end of the day, a woman worries only about the guy slut shaming her to all of his buddies. But, as soon as she knows he won’t, she starts worrying that her friends and family will slut shame her even if the guy did not.

SarahsSummer · Answer

I think in order for two people to have the potential for a relationship, each person wants/needs to feel special. Sex on a first date won’t be seen as a “special“ indicator to many.

Mega96 · Answer

For me to have sex with a girl means that I am planning to have a long term committed relationship with her and that I have strong feelings for her... therefore I personally suggest not to rush into having sex before knowing each other well as it might lead to confusion. On the other hand I think sex has to be separated from respect. It is a natural desire for both men and women and an action that involves them both, for which both sides are equally responsible. (Non may claim they got seduced.)

Ninjazzed · Answer

Well.. simply put, he’s most likely going to stay with her for a while—because she was easy to get in bed—until he finds someone that’s twice as attractive yet harder to get. Seems to be a pattern.

Philyouup · Answer

I think that it diminishes the chance for both people , but does not eliminate them.

To me sex is a valuable asset that I share with only those i wish to know me in that sense. Can that happen on a first date? yes, it had happened to me. But that is not my normal way of doing things.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Usely cuz most guys think she won't be worth marrying cuz she dint naked him wait cuz guys like that girl most cuz it shows she isn't just a hook up type an they also figure most these types of girls will cheat on them so just use them wuik. an move on but most good guys choose the 1s who wait an then have a good relationship

DWornock · Answer

Whether or not women say it is hypocritical doesn't amount to a hill of beans. The fact is having sex on the first date doesn't affect the desirability of a man. However, having sex on a first date does imply the women is a slut and less therefore desirable for a long-term relationship.

I_Am_Sazerac · Answer

I dont see why that would diminish it. I also dont see why guys think that diminishes her value because they engaged as well. Same goes vice versa.

People like sex. Its admirable I'd you decide to wait, and it's not dishonorable if you don't. All that matters is being safe when doing it and be respectful.

Anonymous · Answer

So a guy is not easy for having sex on the first date? It is hypocritical, if a man does not have to take any responsibility for this behaviour but a woman should. That is why I think any man who thinks like should be cheated on. I mean, a girl has also sexual desires and if you expect her to wait, then she can wait for you while she is fucking another guy. He is asking for it and he is the one wants to play these childish games. I dont respect such guys.

Pipeliner87 · Answer

First date and she wants sex? "SLUT!" Flushed down the drain.

I like respectable women who are not ready to jump on every cock they come across.

Then again majority of women have no shame, have no morals, have no care just as long as she gets what she wants.

DorkVader · Answer

@coachTanthony maybe define what you see as "first date". Maybe in an update. It seems a lot of this bag of cats could be reined in by some more defined definitions

Dainolf · Answer

Yes. If she would sleep with me that fast why would it be any different for other guys she have met. The more sex partners she have had the less attractive she is to me.

Stan83 · Answer

You shouldn’t urge to get to the next level. You won’t feel the connection and you won’t know if you are made for each other if you step into intimacy so fast.

R_Cakes91 · Answer

I’m currently in an amazing relationship with a guy I slept with on the first date. If those people respect each other and have decent self esteem, then sex on a first date should not matter.

Lunajasmine · Answer

Well, it is a tricky question for me but I can answer in two ways:

If someone wants a longterm relationship, then having sex on the first date is not recommended but of that woman wants to enter a relationship with physical compatibility and if that is important to her in a relationship, then it is ok to have sex in first date.

Because it is her priority first.

Sugar100 · Answer

I know guy 3 years and we never had sex does this make him serious for me? We have gone on dates n met last week now fought but haven’t met parents no gift no rose. Everyone said to never hav sex men don’t like sex

Slim57 · Answer

Of course it does, women, if you're worried about a man not sticking around after sex, then make them wait, if not you're just setting yourself up for a bad time, not saying all men will leave but it's best not to chance it unless that's all you want too

clampfan101 · Answer

I dunno how many guys nowadays respect women who wait, but I most certainly do. I’m waiting until marriage. And that’s not just a moral choice. It seems every relationship that starts with sex is doomed to failure.

Anoniemus · Answer

It depends on the man, but I would think most men wouldn't care for the woman after she's given it up so quickly. It honestly shouldn't matter but social stigmas are persistent.

Anonymous · Answer

If anything, I would day sex increases attachment and attraction between the two of them over something simple like a kiss.

Seems like sex is the make or break decision whether or not a woman and man will consider something more.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think so lol. My current boyfriend and I hung out two days in a row and had sex the second day lol. We’ve been together for 4 years now so I don’t think so. It also may depend on if the sex is good 🤷‍♀️ I don't know.

Shiver · Answer

Eh, tons of girls who don't want to have sex with me on the first date, for whatever reason, I end up inside. It doesn't hurt their chances with me at least.

FruitLoops · Answer

It reminds me of the Groucho Marx line: "I refuse to join any club that would have someone like me as a member"

Avicenna · Answer

No. Every woman I had sex with on the first date ended up being a long term girlfriend and I married one. But I don't go into a first date expecting that to happen or even trying to do it.

BrownBratzDoll · Answer

It diminishes the level of seriousness i take with the man. Yes ima hornball BUT u would turn me down while expressing romantic interest and actually court me. So i know its real and im not just a piece of meat and ure not a hoe or serial cheater.

Laylaaa_ily · Answer

usually it does not lead to long term relationships but it can happen with effort and commitment

Anonymous · Answer

I certainly won't disqualify a woman for sleeping with me the first night, i see nothing wrong with it. On the contrary, if it's been weeks, and still no sex, i'll assume she's a prude and lose interest. I have an extremely high libido and a relationship with a woman who isn't on the same level just won't work. Been there, done that.

MrKinktastic · Answer

Not with me in the past, I’ve slept with my last few long term partners on our first date. If I like her I like her.

ToastyTimothy1828 · Answer

If I'm not mistaken, people who wait until after marriage to have sex are more likely to lead a successful relationship (e. g., human sexual behavior is like ripping off and reusing duct tape over and over again).

bryanman123 · Answer

Sex on a first date shouldn't matter I'm one of those that doesn't premarital sex if I was dating a girl I wouldn't think about sex I'd be thinking about how to show her a good time and that we can have together

TheAteam1978 · Answer

I think it does unless the chemistry was so off the hook. There is a double standard for women unfortunately.. For me it doesn't matter I like my women uninhabited and looking for sex!! That being said I'm not a jealous guy and love free sexuality

Miristheiss · Answer

I have never even tried to get a woman to go that far on a 1st date.

ivbnlknfru · Answer

I think it has to do with context of the date before you slept with him... was it just a hookup... 😋 or a meaningful date that led you to the bedroom...😍

wankiam · Answer

voted b and thats based on my personal past experience

If a woman sleeps with a man on the first date does it diminish their chances of having a long term relationship with that guy?

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