When I’m at the mall, movies and grocery store, dudes will approach and flirt then be like “aye girl lemme get yo number”. I usually just laugh and go “nah im good”. But if he seems really sweet and attractive then I’ll say “nah you give me yours”. ANYWAYS, lol once we exchange numbers, I like to talk to a person for anywhere from 1-3 months before agreeing to go on a date? Is that weird? I’m just paranoid and you hardly know ppls intentions these days. Luckily, I learn their true colors within 2-3 weeks and that determines if they make it to the one month mark or not. 🤷♀️ #FeelFreeToList#SaveTheDate
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LMao real talk... the only way a guy is gonna see me in person again before a month is if a magical connection happens... 😂 he gone have to say more than AYE GIRL LEMME GET YOUR NUMBER. he's gonna have to be like ITS CRAZY HOW WE RANDOMLY MET TODAY AND ARE TOTAL STRANGERS YET SPENT THE DAY HANGING OUT. WHEN CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN? Yea we’ll have had to meet at the casino or park or something 😂 He’ll have to had shopped around Walmart with me. We’ll have had to sit next to eachother the whole movi
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Look this may not work for some of y'all, but this works for ME. I’ve done the in person thing a lot throughout HS and college and we did more in person things than text/call. I can't keep going with the flow cause the dudes started getting touchy af and its tempting. Then you find out what theyre about and theyre like WHY DOES IT MATTER THAT WE DONT WANT THE SAME THINGS IN LIFE? WE HAD FUN THE OTHER DAY. LETS KEEP THAT UP. Heck nawl thats wasting my time. So lemme get to know u by phone calls 1st
If someone asks you for your number/contact info, then how long do you prefer to talk to them before agreeing to go on a date?
After watching about 20 videos on human trafficking and the reality of how they swoon people into this way of life by "dating them" for months, just to turn into devils and enslave them... I agree with you. Talking alone won't even work because people do that over the phone and anyone can be anything over phone and internet.
To be honest, I'd do everything you can to find out the character of that boy. I'd go and talk to his minister.. don't have a minister or daddy... then where did he get his sense of right and wrong? And I'd up my game of self defense and self esteem to the max so if someone does intentend to mistreat you, they discover the wrong side of you. You gotta view the world as... fight for your rights and know how you will handle situations, or at least have great discernment of character. But that doesn't seem to work for girls whose egos/identities are fragile.
Generally for me it's been a few calls, but I've always been less threatening to women.
I wait 2-3 days, do some research, ask my friends about her and get a few references, there are some crazies out there and I'm not 18 anymore so ain't got time for that shit. 🤷🏽♂️
It's good to put your faith in people, it's bad when you have to consider the stability of a girl when you want to break up. It got to a point with me that I decided I wanted to date women who have their shit together rather then girls still figuring out what they want.
If the guy is cute then I will give him my number. I'll probably want to talk for 2 weeks before going on a ”date”. But it matters if we have lots in common and if he isn't just using me for sex. I've given this guy my number before and it was a big mistake. Plus I didn't really like him like that I just wanted to get closer to my crush because they were friends. I've told that guy from the beginning and said I liked someone else and this dude keeps trying to ask me to come over his house. We only talked for two weeks then I blocked him. Me and my crush go to the same Church and his friend pop up to try to get my number again.🙄 I've ignored that guy and he finally left me alone and I've heard that he is in the army now🙏🏾. He was a stalker. Lol, I’m so sorry for this long ass opinion. This is why I have a hard time trusting guys. You're not being weird because I'm probably planning on doing that too. Cuz you can't trust anybody nowadays.
It depends. I had one guy ask me to go on a date instead of asking for my number. Of course I didn’t go. I would like to talk to them for at least 2 weeks before I go anywhere.
I prefer to have a first date within one week of meeting someone online, but that first date is where we each drive to a public location, meet and talk for a while, then she drives herself back to her home and I drive back to my home. Very low risk for her.
Not sure, depends on your texting and calling game. Isn't the whole point of communication is to set up a meeting? Maybe I'm old school and don't automatically assume first date equals = sex. I still remember the days where you'd accidentally nudge a girl's breast with your elbow whilst walking and dudes would be blushing. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it If you meet someone and think they're cute and we click wouldn't you want to see them ASAP. Generally, isn't the fastest way to grow intimacy is to do activities together and sharing life experiences and physical touch. I could be wrong but could be a contributing factor why we yearn for intensity. I've been guilty where if the windows stretch too long I lose bit of drive to chase... and I'm sure some dudes can also attest to waiting too long and sliding into friend zone DMs. So~ no mean to offend, it really depends on person, are you secure enough to risk your heart again or slow and steady
Uhm, lol, better carry extra bottle of hand sanitizer then.. I'm kidding, I guess what I meant is to not rely too heavily on texts. For the reason that I find face to face is best lie detector. Anyways maybe your questions (and I think their are specific questions on Google) and body language skills just needs to optimize with new version for 21st century man. And also, possibly suppress expectations of a fantasy kiss on first date. Just focus on having fun and figure them out but throw in a few extra intentional questions whilst trying to be nonchalant and confident about it (you got this haha..) - confident like be silly/feminine, slight allure of touche I don't know however you want to portray it... Why not try it and think of it as very fun interview. Then when you get home go hard spy beat mode with the info lol
Sounds good, whatever you do you have to feel you good about it.. but don't stay comfortable. Texts is easily controlled, and for the most part, men are the proactive players in the game so they got patience..
Well, clearly that whole 1 to 3 month thing isn't written in stone. Also, do dudes really wait 30 to 90 days to see you in person? I don't know if you're paranoid, but I do think you enjoy telling guys no. They ask for your number, and for the next 30-90 days, you're just busy? Do you actually tell them, "I will not see you probably for the next few months because_____fill in the blank?" It just seems unnecessary to do that almost every time a dude gets your number, and it seems a bit vindictive. But why would you be vindictive?
Thats not how it goes. If he asks for my number in person then he's already seen me, so they dont usually ask when can i see you again. They’re like “hey give me a chance, get to know me.” And thats exactly what happens. We’ll get to know eachother as they text all day and then we talk on the phone all night. It goes on for days/weeks and I usually learn their intentions and life goals within a matter of weeks. Once we see we want different things then we both just kinda stop texting or will simply say “yea this ain't gone work.” Very few made it past a month 🤷♀️ The few who made it past a month were bad with time management and didn't know how to prioritize so i told em bye before the 3 month mark. This is what works for me. Dating will just make me fall faster so i gotta know who they are first
Well that sounds like you just allow it to happen organically, which is cool. Plus, ain't nothing wrong with checking a dudes application before the face to face interview.
You and I are very different. 1-3 months? 😲 The problem 'getting to know each other' online is there is so much room for manipulation, lack of body language or even the ability to read one another's mannerisms. Mentally I don't allow myself to take a serious interest in a woman who I haven't met in person.
I met a woman a couple of weeks ago at a bar, spoke briefly and I took her number. We were texting for about 3days before we met her in person. I'm seeing her again today after work. If I'm interested enough to take your number, I would want us to meet asap and discover whether or not we click and have great chemistry.
Im saying even in person when i meet that person, we’re gonna have phone calls (dont care to text much) for at least a month before i agree to go out with the stranger
Lmao it's not about time - it's about the vibes they put out. Also people have always had dubious intentions especially guys. A red flag today is still a red flag next month lol. Getting to know them in person cuts like 1 month of texting into like 3-4 hours. I could see the 'becoming relaxed' around each other facet to this though. Would prolly make convos in-person after a month of texting easier cause you can keep referring to text stuff to keep the in-person convo alive. I prefer going straight to in-person so I can skip all the fronting and fake bullshit tho 🤙 as long as you dont let them pick you up a bad date probably won't haunt you 😩😂 gluck fam
Thats not how it goes. If he asks for my number in person then he's already seen me, so they dont usually ask when can i see you again. They’re like “hey give me a chance, get to know me.” And thats exactly what happens. We’ll get to know eachother as they text all day and then we talk on the phone all night. It goes on for days/weeks and I usually learn their intentions and life goals within a matter of weeks. Once we see we want different things then we both just kinda stop texting or will simply say “yea this ain't gone work.” Very few made it past a month 🤷♀️ The few who made it past a month were bad with time management and didn't know how to prioritize so i told em bye before the 3 month mark. This is what works for me. Dating will just make me fall faster so i gotta know who they are first
Girl you ain't thinking wrong. Take it slow if you wanna have a nice long relationship. But tell him that you like to keep chatting before meeting again, give him an approximate time, like if you think a month, tell him two months. The you can call him out in a month and he gets excited feels things are working faster.
Well i think it depends on person to person. The main thing is when you are comfortable with someone unknown than eventually you will share your no. Without hesitation. It can be in one day or a 6-8 months. Its just about comfort zone. How comfortable and secure you feel while talking to them.
Perspective is everything and it's commendable you vet them before committing to even just a date. Intentions can always be plagued by facetiousness, so it's an intelligent response to correspond in such a way in order to build courage and salvage the integrity of what could be something substantial.
I don't give out my contact data just to random people. I may give it out on purpose like when I'm with vegan activists or to others I met on clubbing (I rarely do clubbing). Then it makes totally sense, because you may want to meet later again.
On dates, I pre-exchanged my number with a girl to be able to send her updates, like train delays or so. Again it makes sense here, right?
It is not so direct to you than a phone number or even an address. I admit I was not thinking when I gave my address to a woman who only used it for coming to me when she was desperate in money. It was a hard time for me, feeling unwanted/ignored and I put a lot effort into it (no regret in that thing) and in the end I found a girlfriend online. First only messaging over the dating platform, then later on #Linphone ("Open Source") then even we shared mobile number and I text her. I still have protected her first SMS to me. :-)
I prefer in person dates the very next day after getting your number from you either in person or online. That prolonged texting is a huge turn-off for me and I would intentionally ask some stupid or very absurd question that'll make you ghost me when I realized it is getting too long for us to meet. I don't like being the bad guy. Gotten lots of girls to ghost me, some even after sex.
Phone calls can be tricky sometimes for me. One of my turn-ons is a woman with a really sexy melodic voice. So if you don't have neither, it creates a problem for me. I might find it difficult holding on a conversion with you.
Used to have this amazing phone sex with this girl named Rose in my junior High days, with a voice like an angel. We were total strangers, never met before or seen each others pictures and our schools had a competition against each other and we planned on meeting each other there for the very first time. I saw her first from afar with the help of some of her school mates and omg, I really didn't care that much about looks but c'mon that day I all of a sudden I did. There was a reason why her voice was angelic. She was a chubby girl. There and there I just ghosted her and blocked her number.
That's wisdom! I remember talking with a Girl for some time on the phone. Although we didn't have a big connection, and we only talked for about a week every night, I was pretty set on keeping it just talking for a few Months before physically meeting Her. That's an excellent idea. I'll say this, She was a Sweetheart. She's still out there.
It depends. If I exchanged numbers with someone that I met in real life, then I would probably want to at least text them a little first before agreeing to go on a date with them. Unless it was someone I already knew and just didn't have their number yet.
If it was someone online, then I still wouldn't want to set up a date immediately. I would want to talk to them more first. But I would probably try to meet them in a month or two; I wouldn't want to wait too long.
If I meet her in person, we could agree on a date right away (have done this a number of times) or within a few days. There really isn't much reason to drag it out- it's just a date where we meet in public.
I used to try to kiss on the first date or more when I was younger, but because so many guys talk about sex right away with women I don't anymore, or even hold hands. Now if she initiates, I certainly will go along with it.
I like ro be flirty over text and if she responds well.. why wait, I ask her out and if she says no at least I'm not wasting anybody's time. That being said, I would text with her for about a week before asking her out.
Wish to see people like you in different social media... I like friends who in touch more often... couple of app have more things to know about them... That's the reason from his friend's list
Some here it's very hard... But I am very comfortable with few friends only.
I'd try to as soon as possible. Sure you can text first but My logic, let's get a coffee and see how we connect then text after that see where we are. Why beat around the bush
When I was single. If a guy I was attracted to or intrigued by asked for my number, I would give it and go on a date with him as soon as he called to ask.
Yes, I don't date in shady bars down-town. Maybe I got robbed there, knocked out unconsciousness when I cannot provide the money for the "girl". That is why I prefer public places to date.
@roland77 yea but for me, i dont trust anyone enough to go on a date pub or not. I need to know who they are before i even waste their time going on a date. So the number is the safest route for me. For example, dude could have 12 kids. I rather know by phone before agreeing to a date and possibly falling for him
It would depend on how good I knew her. I would not give my number to a random girl. But if I had known her for some time and started feeling at ease with her, than probably yes :D
With the 2 girls I've dated, communication was through the chat box of the dating app until the first date included. If that would have been positive for both of us, I would probably have given my coordinates :D
If I chat with someone online I prefer to meet soon so I can be dumped quicker :) I'd much rather chat in person, text is a poor medium. I'm unlikely to exchange numbers and more likely to agree a date and then consider swapping numbers after.
Not too long. Usually within the first few hours or so, then continue the conversation we were having. I want mutual confirmation before we get ahead of ourselves.
Depends on our conversations and how well were vibing. If it's good I want to set up dates early to help strengthen that bond. What was my true colors?
Hahaha you gotta stop watching so much TV. That's sounds good and all, but from what I've read you would never let a random stranger spend all day with you. Fun update to read though. Sounds romantic
So what's the difference between a guy who makes you feel that way in person on the day you meet compared to a guy who could make you feel like that over the phone for a week? Are you saying that you'd feel more of a bond towards that guy compared to another?
If I would be you, I'll be waiting for about three or max four weeks. Think that is enough time to get a better picture of the guy if you'll be having texting and talking with him regularly 🙃
You (@DizzyDesii ) can can her him speak, her his voice. Text is just text, it reminds me of a cartoon, where a fat man portrays himself Online as a slim and sexy woman.
If I saw a girl that knocked me out I would be compelled to at least asked for her number and find out if she responds favorably or not and if she does well that's great.
I would try to meet you as early as possible bcoz I don't want to take a chance like someone other try on you and I think meeting are must to know each other, bcoz some people ignore her in public sometimes they ignore in front of their friends n al
A date is important to me. Its a big step. Usually i want it to end in a kiss. I wouldn't go on a date with someone i wouldn't kiss. I need to get to know them by phone/text first to know if theyre even worth kissing
Wow, that's rare for me. I haven't ask anyone intentionally for a date or serious date at mall. I should learn from u😂. How if u trying to test him via text and he do the same?
Cheers - that was a joke. It probably did happen, or was hinted it, in informal settings. Not in non-English-native countries, perhaps (likely due to language issues)
1 - 2 months to know the personality ( till then I masterbTe if I find them attractive ) but I only make move when I think they are worth having in my life.
I volunteer at a hospital in the GI Lab. Unless the person can't get a ride home they all get anesthesia for their scope. While most people are married or 50+, every once in a while we get people around my age.
@roland77 im black as well. Trust me, men do want us too... regardless of if we’re the last option for most. Some guys just dont have the courage to approach 🤷♀️
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