Would you consider dating a coworker if you were both interested?

[shermanido37]

During quarantine I matched via app with a girl who works at the same company I do. While we don't work in the same team, we used to see each other occasionally in the hall. To me it seemed like we both had a thing for each other.
After a bit of a chat, she says she's not comfortable with dating a coworker. I replied that I liked her from the first time I met her, but thought she had a boyfriend from calls she had and such... And yet still respected her decision.
While it really sucks, I guess she has somewhat of a point if things go bad.

What do you guys think? Would you be open to dating someone in that situation?

Yes, always

Yes, only if we work in different areas

Yes, only if they were worth it

No, it makes me uncomfortable

No, it turns me off

No, it's too risky

[Anonymous]

everyone who says "major legal problem" is from the US, honestly, i work in a company where even a lot of the managing partners (= directors) of this worldwide consulting company have a partner in the company and everybody in the company knows about all the couples (also the country manager and HR), it's nothing special anymore, if it fails whatever, if you are not even on the same team, who cares. i had a kind of boyfriend in work as well (we didn't tell anyone, as we only dated for 2 months), it ended, he used me for sex so i was quite mad at him but since we are not on the same team, we didn't have to talk, he once had to ask me something profesionally, i answered professionally, i would do it again, the chance of finding real love > working at this company and the legal situation is fine with this as well, when it is a consensual relationship/affair

[mamasan]

Maybe, depends on a few factors I guess. The first thing would be if the company has any policy about co-workers dating. The second thing would be how often I would see the guy or need to talk to him in case it didn't work out.

She also may have had a bad experience dating a co-worker in the past. In my early 20s, I dated a co-worker. At the time, I had no experience dating a co-worker, so I didn't realize the full risk. It blew up in my face. We dated for a while and I was head over heels. He ended up calling it off and started dating a girl who worked at a neighboring business. She would come in all the time and I would see them together. A very painful time in my life, so I personally wouldn't do it again. Not saying that is the case with your girl, but it's a possibility that she has had a bad experience and is being cautious.

[akihon]

No never, never shit where you eat.

Your career and future are far more important than getting your rocks off with the girl in another department, the risk of being labelled for something you didn't do and losing your job is too great, the risk to your reputation is too great and the risk to your future is too great

The risk that a metoo allegation is levelled against you and there is nothing you can do about it other than hope that your found innocent which often is only the case long after you've been fired.

Don't do it, put yourself and your future first, if that means a woman loses out on the one person she could spend her life with so be it, you are far more important than the wants whims and desires of any woman

[Curmudgeon]

Bingo. akihon nails it here.

[Levin]

People need to stop being a bunch of pussies.

It's called having maturity.

You can still be friends if things go south.

If that's her attitude, then whatever, eh?

To me, love trumps all. But I guess most 'love' is just fucking, which maybe explains why people are against it.

[Pistolpete90]

Generally no, as it can really stuff up future opportunities however the older I get the more it depends on the person and my own circumstances.

If we really click, laugh, etc then I would be seriously tempted or if I was in the process of changing jobs I'd probably consider seeing someone with a lesser connection.

A couple years ago, I seriously considered pursuing a relationship with a guy who was physically attractive but really was a hot mess which wouldn't have lasted anyway. If I had dated him, or more importantly, got caught, I would have lost my job. No questions asked.

Stayed strong and didn't pursue it. As a result of maintaining work ethics, I was able to move into a better paying job which has given me options for a better future. Now have a mortgage, decent savings and a holiday booked (provided this COVID-19 blows over soon). Wouldn't be in this position if I had let my cat take me down the other path. No regrets.

[Flower7]

Yes, I would consider it. I would just be very very careful about how things ended if we ever decided to break up. It's not the dating part that would bother me, it would be having to work with an ex. I'd go out of my way to make sure things ended on good terms and there was no drama between us afterwards.

[thegirlfromthething]

I might, depending on what kind of job it is. If it was just a summer or part-time job working retail or something and it didn’t mean anything, sure. But if this was a serious job that was important for my career, I wouldn’t do it unless we didn’t work on the same team and neither of us was the other’s superior.

[scott04sa22]

I had a co worker at Pizza hut who liked me. Everybody was making moves on her and trying to get her number so I didn't make the move. Then after some time she made a move on me which it backfired then a week our two later she reconcile with her childrens father.

[Anonymous]

I've had both good and bad outcomes.

My steady boyfriend was a coworker and things were always fine. Still together, but I quit the job.

An ex was a coworker, too. He spread rumors through the entire company about me. Nobody did anything to stop it. I should have went to HR but it slipped my mind at the time.

Just be cautious and make sure you know enough about them before risking your job.

[Curmudgeon]

She's right, unless it is such a big company that you can be in different locations. Generally, getting involved at the office is dangerous if it's a serious career. If you are just temping there on the other hand...

[Jeff9743]

I had a sort of similar thing, but I asked her out and then got friend zoned, so I don't really have much advice, but you definitely did the right thing by seeing where she was first

[Anonymous]

A lot of relationships/ marriages were started as coworkers at a jobsite. My ex-wife left me for a co-worker. A less physically attractive man has a better chance with an attractive woman as a co-worker. Co -workers spend more time together than spouses do.

[Barry88]

Yes, but not when she's in the same team and at the same location. Either she has to work in a different team, or when she's working in the same team, at a different location.

[Lman3000]

Really? when I asked this fucking question I just get a flat no it's a terrible idea and I'll lose my job or shit will be awkward and dating in the workplace is stupid, Fuck this site and fuck these damn opinions I swear

[Akshayjosh]

Omit if she wanted to keep the relation discreet, is when u don't end up dating your co worker buddy.
She is searching for an friends with benefits or NSA.
😂😂😂

[Interstate]

Been there done that and never will again. After we split I never wanted to go back there again.

[whitlee34]

That don't even sound like a good idea.
Talk about drama. Nope

[TsundereMatrix]

All my coworkers are married so that would be weird. They are all also significantly older than me.

[Gedaria]

It was never really dating. The officers I visit , there are some girls I got close to. The odd meal. coffee a bit of kissing. no sex. But we were just friends, chatted more than anything else..

[JimboGB]

Yes, but I do understand her hesitancy. I would state in your situation at least you aren't in the same department and would have some breathing space from one another.

[BlackWidow93]

100%... but only if I knew I could crush them if things went wrong or I was quitting my job soon

[R3DthatDude]

It’s against my rules but I’d be willing if I was tempted with a great person, because that’s a risky lol

[Gaguser918]

Not that I would plan on the relationship ending at some point but you never know, it’s possible that things between you and the other person could be made awkward or it could be difficult to move on if you see them every single day.

[ScoobyRoo]

One of the best relationships I've had was with a coworker