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It's when people can't commit either because they unsure about you, they afraid or commitment or just like the control of keeping you exclusive without the label so they can fuck about.
Both men and women do it.
The last guy i slept with was like this. He asked me out we went on one date he called me whore because i took a group photo few days later with a male friend he didn't like. That ended things when i got into a relationship with someone he was jealous as fuck and ran round told everyone i was pregnant when i wasn't and when i split with my boyfriend he came back round apologising etc. Because im stupid i slept with him months later. I told him it was just sex because of his previous pattern of behaviour and he agreed and then changed his mind and wanted to spend more time with me outside the bedroom saying he doesn't want other girls.
I asked what he actually wanted and he refused to answer. Whenever i'm with a male friend or co worker he is jealous but won't admit he likes me. And in public acted like i didn't exsist especially in front if girls. So we don't speak now but it seems to me he wanted me to be exclusive to him while he fucks about and plays games.
If someone wants you they need to make it public they want you. Let it known you are together but not let everyone know your business. If they can't do that or try to keep it exclusive on the down low you waiting your time. And probably getting strung along.
That sounds to me like he doesn't want you to sleep with anyone else, but he doesn't want to make it public you two are together, so that he still has options, or time, to figure out what he wants. Or he wants girls on the side.
But another option, to be fair, is that he has nosy, opinionated people in his life and he could give two f's what they think, so he keeps his life and business to himself.
Is this about you and him, or just him not 'making it official'? Like, did he deter you from posting pics, etc. on your online accounts? He could also be against that, be a private person in general, or concerned with internet security, which is a fair point.
But first impression is not good.
I mean if it was friends with benefits kinda of thing. I would prefer her not to be just having sex with everyone else to, and i don't think she would want me just having sex with everyone else. So i could see why it is a thing. Also helps with no stds. And to start off not official is good sometimes. People rush to much into relationships then realize later on they don't work. But same goes for waiting too long.
There is no way i can say what's right or wrong but i say longs if your both okay with the pace and fully thought it through it's okay and i don't see how or why that is a problem.
u Many in your generation seem to have a pathological fear of admitting that they actually have string feelings for someone and, frankly, it's damned irritating to see young people running around in such absolute denial. If you want to be exclusive with someone, you should be standing on a rooftop shouting to the world that you have found the one that you think is The One. You play those word games with yourself, never really commit, the relationship fails, and then you wonder what went wrong and why you never felt emotionally connected. Am I missing something or is this pretty damned stupid?
Opinion
34Opinion
i'm in something like that... i met this guy on a sex site said if i give him head he won't date anyone else and i agreed and liked that idea... he comes over 5-7 nights a week for blowjobs and i don't really mind it he has a really nice penis and i love to suck it and he always cums for me... he also cooks for me and gives me nice wines... the downside is he's only 5 3 i'm 5 10... right now we don't really go anywhere he just comes over gets his blowjobs... we talk and watch movies together... eat good food things of that elk... i'm not at all complaining about our relationship but i don't want to face say to him yes let's be girlfriend and boyfriend... although he seems happy with our arrangement... and it lasting like this basically due to the pandamic... i do like him coming over and spending time with me but just not wanting to say okay your my boyfriend... would any guy not like something like this? i'm not giving him coitus sex just blowjobs for now he does eat my pussy but not everytime nor is that a problem with me
As soon as I'm sure about someone and can genuinely see things developing into an official relationship in the future, it's exclusive from my end. But by that point I'm ready to make it official and am just waiting for the guy to feel the same. If I want to be in a relationship with someone, I don't wanna stay in that "exclusively dating" stage.
To me "exclusive but not official" sounds like a way to lock down the person they'll settle for if they can't find someone better (keeping their options open). It's a form of stringing someone along.
Never be, nor make someone a second choice, or last resort. No one wants that. Either commit fully, or go your separate ways.
Its just like my take on liking water but not liquids.
They are one and the same. What's "official" anyway? Is there a formal contract involved?
Once you settle on seeing one person you're seeing that person.
Now how serious it is and how soon do you do things is up to the two of you but once you two agreed to give it a go then you're official and exclusive.
I would say that it would go in that order unless you enter a open relationship, first you are exclusive then you are offical. There can certainly be a time period in between those two. And it also depends on if offical means if two have agreed to be boyfriend/girlfriend or if it means you announce it to the world. Those two can also have a time period between them. There is things like secret relationships after all.
Both parties should know your exclusive. I believe times have changed. If you go FB official with someone it's like "you have taken them to meet your parents" serious. I think dating, exclusively dating and being in a relationship are different things.
I prefer it. Anyone I've been talking to for more than a month, we usually go exclusive and let others know we’re talking to eachother only... and later we go official if we feelin it
Exclusive means you are not seeing other people basically you can get tested and drop the condom if you so choose to do basically you are having sex and enjoying eachothers company but not dating
So exclusive can mean sex, sex and company and official is yeah we are dating
Both of those are stupid ways of trying to confuse people, perpetuated by things like Facebook (Relationship: It's complicated)
There's single, in a relationship and married.
Divorced or widowed is single until you get with someone else.
The only exception is if you have a sex slave, or you're a prostitute.
Well if you're seeing somebody new I think out of respect you need to be exclusive. That or let him know ahead of time you're dating a bunch of other guys at the same time.
Cause I know for sure I wouldn't continue dating a girl if I found out she was dating like 3 other guys. Maybe she's playing the field and hoping to pick the best one. Or maybe she's doing it to get free meals or something.
I'm only exclusive if I have the title of boyfriend. That's the point.
If I say I want you, I don't want half of you, I want all of you.
If I'm single, I act like it. That's all there is to it.
I think women should start treating men more tye same and be like look, I really like you but I just don't want anything serious right now (meaning I'll see you as well as others to see hwta I can get from all with not much return for you). F course I don't think that, I thi k men should man up about what they want and stop playing silly games. But if thye won't then it'd be hilarious to see the women do it to them.
There’s testing the waters to see if you’re compatible first and when you feel like “this could be my favourite human” then you take the plunge and become official.
This is where me and my now girlfriend were for a while. Not quite sure if things would work for relationship but it's easier with all the diseases out there to be exclusive rather than having sex with others
This is stupid. All it is someone's hedge to do whatever they want if the situation arises.
Why wouldn’t it be official if you are exclusive? Could the person enforcing this be hiding you from someone?
It's risky because the other person could find someone else at any time, if there was no agreement made about that.
I not only don't see the difference, I don't understand how there could be one.
I understand when it's early on, but once you've been exclusive with someone for a few months, doing everything a couple does, what's wrong with calling them your boyfriend or your girlfriend?
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