Please help! Why is he suddenly avoiding me?

[Anonymous]

I work with a guy that I have been working with for around 1.5 years. The guy has a very upbeat attitude, great sense of humor and is liked by many people in the office. Him and I usually flirt around a lot and I might feel something for him...
We had an event at work and I mentioned to him that I am going there with my boyfriend and whatnot...
After this, he never comes to talk to me now, he seems very distant and I am the one who has to keep coming up to him. I feel like he's avoiding me!!!
What happened? How can I get him back?

[MrCommodore]

I think you already asked this question in the last day or two. Sounds like you like this guy and are considering dumping your boyfriend.

As for getting other guy back, he obviously has feelings for you, so as him for help with something and get chatting to him privately. His coldness will start to thaw then. But he will probably continue to be distant while you are with another guy.

[Asker]

Would it be better if I never mentioned the boyfriend? Does he think he's friend zoned or something?

[MrCommodore]

At this point you should mention it, dont assume he knows everything, as he most likely doesn't.

He probably does feel like all this time you had just seen him as a friend, and had zero romantic interest in him, so yes probably friendzoned

[MrCommodore]

I think maybe nobody told him about your boyfriend, so he probably didn't know snd feels upset you didn't mention it.

[SherryBomb]

The dude had feelings for you, and probably felt kind of betrayed when he found out you have a boyfriend. I probably would wait a while before you break up with your boyfriend (if you plan to) because the guy will feel guilty if you suddenly break up with your boyfriend to be with him.

[Asker]

Would it be better if I never mentioned the boyfriend? Does he think he's friend zoned or something?

[SherryBomb]

What i would have done if I were you, is if you didn't see a future with your current boyfriend, broken up and waited about 3 weeks to get together with this guy. He doesn't just think he's friendzoned, he also doesn't want to do the wrong thing and let his feelings get in the way of your current relationship. Which I have total respect for.

[Asker]

Why doesn't he want to continue flirting? I am sure he heard from someone else I have a boyfriend, I never hid this fact... I just never brought it up with him... but most people in our office know this fact...

[SherryBomb]

Probably because no one thought to tell him so he didn't know. Sure most people knew about your boyfriend but chances are that he may not have, and based on the info given the info about your having boyfriend was the catalyst for the change in his behavior.

[Asker]

The thing is that even before this, he would have days where he would never approach me or talk to me... But now he hasn't been approaching me for around 2-3 weeks and it looks like I've been doing all the approaching.

[SherryBomb]

Look, I dont know what else to tell you. That detail isn't changing what i think happened and in fact reinforces it.

[Protein_mate]

It's clearly because he likes you now distances himself after finding out that you're taken

[Asker]

isn't that an immature thing to do? I mean we can still flirt and joke around...

[Protein_mate]

He's probably just being respectful

[Emanon_18]

Follow me I have a question

[pink_and_inlove]

He had feelings