What’s wrong with letting him pay. If he wants to pay, just let him pay. Yes you’re independent, but aren’t you tryin to get a man? It’s okay to be vulnerable for dating sake
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Right back at you haha I wasn't trying to get a man. I wanted a partner, meaning he should respect my choices even if it's just something small like paying for my own coffee. What's wrong with letting a woman pay. If a woman wants to pay just let her. It's ok to be vulnerable for dating sake lol
I take it as a sign of a respect when she offers (sincerely) to pay. She either really likes me OR she’s not interested but respected my time, effort and money.
It’s less of let down if she’s not interested afterwards but at least she wasn’t a POS meal ticket. It’s really not about money but respect.
He wants to fulfill the traditional Male role and save face. You could... buy the ticket and give it to him for his birthday. Put money in his wallet after he pays. (That way he can act like he paid)
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I would never do the latter. But I did tell him that the trip was his birthday gift, and it really was we celebrated there 🤣
I love it if a girl, did that to me! I big turn off for women that I tell them is a must in relationships is that they have to pay for everything themselves. I believe highly in going dutch!
"I always try to pay my half -I insist especially when I'm not sure I'd like a second date- but men don't seem to like it" - Now, do you not see how you've sort of answered your own question there? It's like asking why women don't like it when men turn down a BJ. It's something you can bring to the table that nature has decided you have more of to trade with than the other, and when what you've brought to the table isn't good enough, then that is what we call rejection.
Would you like him to wear a dress too? Men like providing and paying for dates makes him feel good and successful. If you want to show your kindness, it's better to cook for him or give him massages. If you aren't sure if you will like him, make it a coffee date or something cheap.
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If he wants to, sure. Men wore dresses for a long time, they also used lots of make up I don't want kindness, I want a man to respect my decisions like choosing to pay for my own coffee. If a man can't respect such a tiny stupid decision then I can't trust him with bigger issues and he's not a suitable partner for me
I don't think not wanting you to pay for your own coffee equates the inability to make big decisions lol. But if it's a make it or break it for you, you may have a rude awakening on all the real assholes there are out there, from mental abuse to date rapists. Then the boy who wants to pay may not look so bad anymore. But if it's so important to you, just find a poor guy who wants you to pay for everything
Why should I look for a poor man? I want a man who's capable to fend for himself like I do or at least is trying to progress in life. Like my boyfriend who's studying really hard to become an engineer. I want a man who can respect my choices instead of holding on to old traditions like his manhood depends on it. Besides I want a partner in a relationship, not a "provider" who expects me to stay in the kitchen making sandwiches for him lol
You should find a poor man because ambitious men like to pay for dates and provide... duh. that doesn't mean he wants you in the kitchen. Things aren't black and white. You tell a man to stop clinging onto his manhood, well what about you? What if he told you to stop acting like a woman)
The problem here is that you associate paying with being manly "You tell a man to stop clinging onto his manhood" and I clearly don't see how that's related, at all I'm not less of a woman for taking my boyfriend on vacation and he's not less of a man for coming with me
We don't. We know women keep track of everything they do for us and expect it to be repaid tenfold. Men don't keep track of kindness as an exchange of good or services, we are kind to women because we actually like them, instead women view kindness as currency and investments.
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Don't generalize. Both genders keep track because human relationships are based on reciprocity
Cuz if they ask you out they want youto feel they can providw for a girl things they like
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From my point of view it seems like I'm being treated like a child. I really, really don't want a "daddy". I want to feel respected, I'm not asking for permission when I take out my wallet and yet I'm not "allowed" to use it unless I'm willing to start an argument. It's so frustrating ☹️
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Because it makes them feel like they just turned up to take advantage.
In my case, if it's a client, then they pay. If it's my date, then I pay.
What’s wrong with letting him pay. If he wants to pay, just let him pay. Yes you’re independent, but aren’t you tryin to get a man? It’s okay to be vulnerable for dating sake
Right back at you haha
I wasn't trying to get a man. I wanted a partner, meaning he should respect my choices even if it's just something small like paying for my own coffee. What's wrong with letting a woman pay. If a woman wants to pay just let her. It's ok to be vulnerable for dating sake lol
I don’t get offended at all. But if it’s a first date and it was my idea I will always pay UNLESS she is dumb enough to bring up feminism on date one.
I take it as a sign of a respect when she offers (sincerely) to pay. She either really likes me OR she’s not interested but respected my time, effort and money.
It’s less of let down if she’s not interested afterwards but at least she wasn’t a POS meal ticket. It’s really not about money but respect.
why will you always pay? where's your respect for the other person's choice?
If it’s MY IDEA to go on the date then I should always pay. That doesn’t mean I expect to get laid. But I always keep first dates cheap anyway.
He wants to fulfill the traditional Male role and save face. You could... buy the ticket and give it to him for his birthday. Put money in his wallet after he pays. (That way he can act like he paid)
I would never do the latter. But I did tell him that the trip was his birthday gift, and it really was we celebrated there 🤣
I love it if a girl, did that to me! I big turn off for women that I tell them is a must in relationships is that they have to pay for everything themselves. I believe highly in going dutch!
And then there are guys that do get offended when a woman doesn’t pitch in
"I always try to pay my half -I insist especially when I'm not sure I'd like a second date- but men don't seem to like it"
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Now, do you not see how you've sort of answered your own question there?
It's like asking why women don't like it when men turn down a BJ.
It's something you can bring to the table that nature has decided you have more of to trade with than the other, and when what you've brought to the table isn't good enough, then that is what we call rejection.
Very well put!
wtaf
English please
I'd welcome it if a woman wanted to pay. I've always ended up paying for everything
I don’t think men get offended lol
I don't know where that came from, but if anything
he’d probably assume you thought he was broke.
that’s probably why he’d get offended
can’t think of any other reason
I would be baffled at why a woman will offer to pay. In my experience, some men will lose their self-esteem & or confidence if she offers to pay.
It all comes down to being familiarized with each other's opinion of each other or vibes
How the hell should i know? it just makes things more practical if both parties can contribute.
I dunno, I do not get offended. I am actually relieved and feel appreciated.
Its possible but in my case no if i pay they won't have to worry about it and if they pay I'd ask if there sure to confirm that they are gonna pay
Would you like him to wear a dress too? Men like providing and paying for dates makes him feel good and successful. If you want to show your kindness, it's better to cook for him or give him massages.
If you aren't sure if you will like him, make it a coffee date or something cheap.
If he wants to, sure. Men wore dresses for a long time, they also used lots of make up
I don't want kindness, I want a man to respect my decisions like choosing to pay for my own coffee. If a man can't respect such a tiny stupid decision then I can't trust him with bigger issues and he's not a suitable partner for me
I don't think not wanting you to pay for your own coffee equates the inability to make big decisions lol. But if it's a make it or break it for you, you may have a rude awakening on all the real assholes there are out there, from mental abuse to date rapists. Then the boy who wants to pay may not look so bad anymore.
But if it's so important to you, just find a poor guy who wants you to pay for everything
Why should I look for a poor man? I want a man who's capable to fend for himself like I do or at least is trying to progress in life. Like my boyfriend who's studying really hard to become an engineer. I want a man who can respect my choices instead of holding on to old traditions like his manhood depends on it. Besides I want a partner in a relationship, not a "provider" who expects me to stay in the kitchen making sandwiches for him lol
You should find a poor man because ambitious men like to pay for dates and provide... duh. that doesn't mean he wants you in the kitchen. Things aren't black and white. You tell a man to stop clinging onto his manhood, well what about you? What if he told you to stop acting like a woman)
The problem here is that you associate paying with being manly "You tell a man to stop clinging onto his manhood" and I clearly don't see how that's related, at all
I'm not less of a woman for taking my boyfriend on vacation and he's not less of a man for coming with me
He isn't, no. But I'm trying to tell you where he's coming from.
We don't. We know women keep track of everything they do for us and expect it to be repaid tenfold. Men don't keep track of kindness as an exchange of good or services, we are kind to women because we actually like them, instead women view kindness as currency and investments.
Don't generalize. Both genders keep track because human relationships are based on reciprocity
Bullshit. Stop trying to make yourself feel better and accept your reality so you can change it.
suure, I'm so waiting for my boyfriend to take me on a world tour lol
No, a gentalman is a gentalman to the very end. The man stand before the woman. Only in marriage we stay side by side.
There's no such thing as 'equality'. Men and women are different, always have been, always will be. It's the lie of feminism. YOU ARE A LOSER.
Because he's self-hating and she's depriving him of his masochistic supply by taking the financial hit for him.
Cuz if they ask you out they want youto feel they can providw for a girl things they like
From my point of view it seems like I'm being treated like a child. I really, really don't want a "daddy". I want to feel respected, I'm not asking for permission when I take out my wallet and yet I'm not "allowed" to use it unless I'm willing to start an argument. It's so frustrating ☹️