Do girls truly know what loneliness feels like?

[jabariw18]

If a guy is single he has to go above and beyond to convince a girl that he's good enough to take her out on a date. Even still, this usually only happens after several rejections which only makes the loneliness feel even worse. Girls are constantly being chased and complimented and made to feel like they are desired, wanted, and sought after. They receive so many messages that they ignore most of them and can be as choosy as their heart desires.

My ex for example was already hooking up with guys on Tinder within days of our breakup, meanwhile I was barely even getting matches and got no dates whatsoever until 8 months after the breakup. Girls, even if you're only getting messages for guys looking for hookups, it's a whole new level of loneliness when you get literally NOTHING and get ignored or rejected by nearly everyone.

Like literally no human contact whatsoever aside from myco-workers (all male) and literally 0 matches or replies on any and every dating site.

Yeah guys are on a while new spectrum of loneliness than girls

No, girls can get just a lonely as guys

Updates

+1 y

If you vote the second option, please explain. Also by the way there was a subreddit for lonely women and they had to restrict it to invite-only because the women there were receiving too many messages... ironic. Yeah a male only subreddit for lonely men would be just that... lonely men and no messages lol.

Updates

+1 y

Just to be clear. I know that women can be lonely. I know that they can feel hopelessly depressed over it too. I'm just saying to feel wanted by NOBODY for NOTHING. Is different. Even if it is "just for sex" us men don't even have that lol. I'm sure most men can agree that we'd at least like to have some physical touch when we're lonely but no. We have absolutely painfully NOTHING when we are lonely.

[thegirlfromthething]

Of course we can. Loneliness is not synonymous with being sexually or romantically undesirable. You could be in a relationship or have sex partners and still feel lonely because you live in an isolated area, don’t see your family, or don’t have friends. You could have an active social life and feel lonely because your relationships with friends and acquaintances are superficial and you don’t feel loved or understood on a deeper level. You could be surrounded by admirers and feel lonely because they only want sex, money, status, or validation and don’t care about you as a person. Thinking women don’t experience loneliness because they get attention from random guys is frankly ridiculous.

[jabariw18]

I understand that. I know that anyone can be lonely but to the extent that men feel it. When a man is lonely, we are LONELY. I don't feel loved, wanted, desired, sought after, needed... anything. I just exist. Even if it is for "just sex" nobody wants me. Nobody chases me. Nobody calls me to see how I'm doing. Nobody invites me over, nobody asks me for my phone number, nobody asks me to dinner. And even the other way around, I get rejected/ignored any time I try to establish new connections/relationships. That's a level of loneliness that most women never experience.

[thegirlfromthething]

Some women experience that as well, and there are men who experience loneliness less severe than what you’re describing.

[jabariw18]

I literally said "most women don't experience that." I didn't say all.

[thegirlfromthething]

If you know that then you already know the answer to your question. Most women don’t feel that lonely, and neither do most men, but there are women who feel lonely to the extent that you described.

[jabariw18]

*facepalm* What I'm saying is that the extent, severity, and frequency of lonliness that men feel is great than that of women. There are more men who are totally hoplessly lonely without any physically, mental, or emotional contact whatsoever no matter how hard they try. I'm saying that happens a lot more to men than women. Most lonely women could hop on Tinder for a quick fix or go on a coffee date if they wanted to. Men don't even have that option no matter how hard we try. That was my whole point... sorry if I wasn't clear before.

[thegirlfromthething]

I agree that men are more likely to be lonely than women but I also think that there are women who experience loneliness on the same level that those men do, and a quick date or DM isn’t an easy fix to that. You can feel very lonely even if people want to talk to you and be with you and not every lonely woman is trying to date or gets approached by guys. Not all of them are having the experience you describe.

[jabariw18]

By "quick fix" I meant just something to temporarily make you feel less lonely. If I hooked up right now, had someone to snuggle with for the night, it wouldn't solve my problem of lonliness but at least its a good breather. If someone asked me out for a coffee and we chilled and had a conversation, same thing. Not to mention it would give me hope (hmm maybe this could turn into something more, this person seems cool). Men on the other hand don't have either of those 2 things nor do we have the quick little "breathers" available to us. We just sit in our room binge watching netflix reflecting on the past several days that we've been rejected over and over right after we check Tinder and see that we have 0 new matches.

[thegirlfromthething]

Even if lonely women do those things (and not all of them do) and temporarily feel less lonely because of them (and not all of them will), it’s only a breather like you said. It doesn’t cure their loneliness so they still eventually feel lonely.

[jabariw18]

I know... I literally just said that:
"By "quick fix" I meant just something to temporarily make you feel less lonely."
I used the word "temporarily" for a reason. I never said its a cure. Just sucks not having ANYTHING. Hence "men being on a different spectrum of lonliness." Our loneliness is true lack of any contact with another person.

[jabariw18]

And I literally said " it wouldn't solve my problem of lonliness but at least its a good breather."
I feel like you are telling me I'm wrong but telling me things I already know and said.

[thegirlfromthething]

I know you said those things only provide temporary relief, which is why I said the women eventually feel lonely again if they even try to get that relief. So ultimately these women do experience loneliness. And not every lonely man has no contact with other people. There are men who are lonely but not that lonely.

[jabariw18]

You keep on saying "Not all" "Not every" "there are some" "
women eventually feel lonely again if they even try to get that relief"
You're so totally missing my point but thanks for trying.

[Anonymous]

You guys truly think you’re the only ones who struggle getting dates and relationships.

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t get to speak to ANYONE. I’m 22 years old and I have been isolated from people since I was 14. Men aren’t the only people who struggle with loneliness and I freaking wish that some of you would understand that.

[Opinion Owner]

Man I didn’t even get to mix with anyone in high school because I didn’t even get to go to high school like a normal kid, and because of that I have no friends or anyone to talk to or hang out with.

[Opinion Owner]

I’ve never been chased or desired either. So yes, girls also feel loneliness and rejection but it’s never talked about because men have projected the idea that we’re always desired and chased after which is not true.

[jabariw18]

Well I'm sorry about your experience but 1.) Have you ever asked out/approached a guy? Secondly have you ever used a dating site or app?

[jabariw18]

Also I never even had a girlfriend or first kiss until I was 23.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I have. Like I said I’m 22 and I haven’t had a boyfriend or my first kiss.

[jabariw18]

Do you get matches or messages on dating sites?

[jabariw18]

Also I DID get to "mix" and go to high school. I was still lonely. Girls still never wanted to date me.

[Opinion Owner]

I would’ve loved to have been able to go to high school to be around people even if I didn’t get to mix with them. And no I don’t.

[jabariw18]

Can you DM me? If you're not even having luck on dating sites, I have a few theories based on my own personal experiences.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure

[jabariw18]

Also yeah I'm grateful for my experience going to high school but I still never had a girlfriend so its kinda irrelevant in this discussion on lonliness.

[Browneye57]

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You can do this. And forget about the bimbo - likely you dodged a huge bullet anyway.