Yes. But it depends on the vibe in the initial conversation. If the vibe is fuck buddy or friends with benefits then absolutely. I've invited a girls over date one and had sex. Still friends. Started an friends with benefits type thing even though i didn't know her prior.
I've had online sex chats and had women invite me over on a first date for sex. Then friends with benefits thing.
To accomplish this a man must know what he's doing. He must know how to be a confident masculine man who can be direct about what he wants. And he must know and understand women and pick up on her vibe.
In MOST cases? No. Id prefer to meet for a drink in public first. Then from there we have sex at hers or mine or I kiss goodnight and wait for date 2 or 3.
Typically if she isn't willing to have sex by date 2 or 3 she isn't very into the guy. I weed out women who are just playing games, have personal issues, seeking attention, or just want free meals or drinks.
Notice how I said "typically". Not all women. So hold your angry fire.
here's the deal. As a man, you want to date women who are PASSIONATELY and sexually attracted to you. Men and women typically know within 3 seconds if they would fuck you. The rest is just preening and window dressing. They know based on pictures, conversation, or 3 seconds of meeting you. Relationship attraction is a different story. Remember a male or female can say no to sex anytime.
Id add one more thing. I treat friends with benefits girls different from relationship only by asking them out for a date prior to inviting them to my place. So with an friends with benefits i may ask to meet for drinks or invite them to my place. But if I truly want to date them.. then I would place romance first prior to sex. So id invite them for a drink and get to know them a few hours. Then at the end of date 1 have sex at my place or hers. Hope that helps.
If he invited you to his place there are 2 possibilities:
1. Its covid19 so he's being careful
2. He signaling friends with benefits or Fuck Buddy intentions with you.
Because you want a relationship you handled it PERFECTLY.❤👍🏾
@aliali8 so? Who cares? Second. My longest relationships start that way. Think about it. All sex early on means is that you both have an intense attraction. Thats it. Stop judging people having sex early as being non committal or players. I had a fuck buddy become a 2 year relationship. We only had sex with each other. Nobody else. But enjoyed each other sexually first. Then it grew to love. Love has no rule book. Attraction does, but not love. Id say almost every long term girlfriend started as sex in the first 3 dates. Any longer than that and things fizzled because it turned from sexual attraction into friend zone.
I would prefer a first date in my home a quiet atmosphere where I can be the one to cook or order takeout and then pretend that I cooked it (white lies). In a place that I’m familiar with but I don’t think that a woman of any formal particular intelligence would agree to that. I mean you got to be pretty stupid to go to a man’s home oh which you barely know.
It would be irresponsible on my part to ask a woman to do that even if it gave me more comfort. It would be irresponsible and her part to except unless she’s known me for a significant amount of time and if that’s the case will probably be married within a few months because we already know each other and she’s probably already been to my house.
If you are young like teens and parents are home cool but in my experience that's a really bad idea. It's great from the perspective that people are able to reveal a lot as they are in their comfort zone but that can make them really control the situation and that's dangerous in my eyes you need to be able to vet them first...
Public arena until you feel you can tryst said person.
It sounds like he wanted to what do they call it these days 🤔
"Netflix and chill"...
I mean it could be with this pandemic going on there is less available places to go to but in my city there's still restaurants and even bars that are open with limited capacity... Guess it depends on the vibes you get from him...
Opinion
101Opinion
u An invitation to a guy's house for a first date means that he wants to have sex on the first date.
NO WAY!! First date, first SEVERAL DATES, are ALWAYS IN PUBLIC!!! For her comfort, and mine, as well!!
What if she turns out to be some CRAZY CLINGY STALKER TYPE? LOL!!
Seriously, it is ALWAYS best for the first few dates to be on "neutral ground"!
Usually, for me, when she is comfortable with me, she invites me to her place, and wants to cook for me (I like cooking, and it's something we sometimes shared) but I have to wonder, also, if she is thinking about "after dinner" and maybe something more intimate, especially on Friday, or Saturday nights, and a lot of wine. . .
He wanted to chitty chitty hang hang? More than likely he may not have known if you were comfortable going out into group settings or where to go. With this virus, our bars shut down at 10pm where I live and me and my friend have been staying in because we're not sure how some places operate now. How old are you by the way. I have had more than a few ladies invite me over to their house for a quiet evening so we can have more of a one on one and connect on a deeper level. Are you concerned with him being a serial killer or the fact he's not spending money?
Why not? We are grown up's, We can sit and talk and enjoy the night. Unless you are dating a freak or a creep then yeah. I can understand from a girls point of view but from my perspective I'm just looking to have some good company not looking for sparks to fly just get to know her and show her a good time that's all. If she enjoyed herself then why the hell not?
We are not kids, we as adults respect our spaces and as such it's how we interpret one another's motives. I was born in a loving house where there was no evil and everyone was welcome and everyone who came left with a smile. This is my home and I treat it as such.
Yes I've done. Had mixed results. About 50/50. The reasons are:
1. Sex
2. Save money
That's it. Saved you a lot of time. He's either trying for sex and looking to make it easier because you're already there. Especially if there's wine.
Or he wants you to be comfortable coming to his place so next time you can have sex easier.
So when a guy does this, he most likely doesn't want to seriously date her right?
Not necessarily.
But it's not common behavior for a guy who is. What it indicates is very clearly wanting to have sex and have sex soon. That doesn't mean he isn't also interested in dating seriously. He has to get to know you to really decide for himself that's what he wants with you.
But he knows right now he does want sex with you.
If you both were teenagers and he invited you over to watch a movie or something, then that would be a little different. Because you're much younger and don't have much money and having someone over with parents of the house is an entirely different environment. As an adult it's pretty straightforward
I see. What if you offer to grab coffee instead, he says he is fine with it, but later stops responding to your messages?
I see you're interested in this guy. Do you want casual relationship (one or two nights, friends with benefits) or serious relationship (girlfriend or wife)?
I ask this question to men and women to advise. I'm going to say "girlfriend" for you based upon your inquiry here.
The answer is what my dad told me as young woman "Don't let your wants hurt you." "Good guys do what bad guys do. They just do it nicer."
You can see on here most agree it's not a good idea to ask someone over your house "especially if the invitation is coming from a man" on the first date no matter how good you click in-person, online or on the phone. You don't know this guy. He's talking you "yes" because he's attracted to you and want to have sex. If you have sex with this guy in the window of "getting to know stage" you run the risk of him ghosting you. And, he will ghost you, because he's doing it now. Annnd, let's say he did agree to meet you for coffee and kept responding, you met and everything is still good "though it seems from your view" he's still trying you for sex, he's playing his role "What you want to here and do to get what he wants."
First impressions are everything. And, actions speak louder than words. He answered everything you wondering about him. The answer "I'm not interested in you to get to know you for a serious relationship, but I'm attracted to you for sex if you're okay with that for a casual one." And, honestly, that's his prerogative. If that's what he 's looking for. Nothing wrong with that. The downside "he's not presenting his intentions directly to you. By not responding, he's telling you "I'm not interested." You know this because your intuition and God given discernment is telling you. But, because you are attracted to him, desire to get to know him, like something about him and want a serious relationship with a man, you can't see the red flags clearly. You did good not accepting the first date invitation. But, I would have ended my interactions with him because now I know what his intentions are. Leave him alone or he will disappoint you. A good man with good intentions and desired relationship goals will not invite you to his house until you all have dated and got to know each other well enough to do so on both part. If a serious relationship you want..."be wise and think with your head and not your heart (what you desire to feel) You will weed out men who desire a casual relationship but don't know how to communicate such intentions to you.
He doesn't want to invest as much time with you because it's more work to have sex with you and he doesn't find you hot "enough" to make you the priority focus over other girls who are making it easier for him.
Just understand
1. All guys want sex (some just sex. Some sex + more) but we all want sex
2. Whether he's in it for just sex or more than that, a guy will still assess if it's worth the effort depending on both how attracted he is to you and whether or not things are going anywhere.
If you give him nothing or very little to work with he might just give up because it's not progressing and he doesn't see a way to move things forward. Or he'll put you on the back burner to other girls where things are moving forward.
Nothing wrong with suggesting coffee instead. But framing it like, "let's do coffee first" is better because you're working with how guys think. Saying coffee "first" means maybe sex later or something more intimate. Saying coffee "instead" means "no we're not doing that period and I'm going to make this very slow.
You may not mean it that way but that's often how it's perceived in the eyes of a man. Someone like myself wouldn't let that stop me. I would take it as a "not yet" type answer. But yea.
It's a "No" for me.
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure men or women out.
If he doesn't meet the requirements, he doesn't qualify for your time and attention of any kind.
You should have standards for what you want in a relationship (casual or serious). This will protect you from guys rjeoy3 is speaking of.
If he comes back, it's a "No". Don't answer. You don't owe him a response of any kind.
Don't deal with foolishness. Or, you will become a fool.
No--definitely not for a first date. If she lives nearby I might have her come by my place to meet before we go out, and at most I might give her a tour, but then I'd immediately take her out.
Inviting her over for a date is something I'd only do a few dates in. Before that we would have gone out for drinks, and would have done fun things while out. At some point I probably would take her back to my place for a drink after a date (where we'd likely make out--a LOT! lol!). But inviting her over for a date to watch a movie is pretty much code for, "come over to my place and let's pretend to watch something while instead we make out, get naked, have sex, maybe make dinner together and/or order in, have more sex and you can plan to stay over."
Generally not a good first date plan!
It depends how well I know the person, I had a first date at my house when I met a girl through a colleague, it was her daughter so I knew she would be trustworthy, and her mom knew I wouldn’t try anything “funny”. Besides this situation I would never.
I wouldn't because I'm not trying to have sex on the 1st date. My only objective on the 1st date would be to get to know this woman and see if we have compatibility.
Hell no, I don't want someone I'm not even sure about long-term having that kind of access to me.
I don't really do any asking myself, but I assume that sometimes it's the comfort of bein in your own home in a situation that can be stressful. I'd love to be in a familiar and comfortable area for a date, especially if you take into account any anxiety issues. Could be that it's not that, but personally that's why I would if I asked someone out.
The last guy I dated we met in person at a park and spent almost the whole day just walking around then he invited me back to his house for a movie. I was fully not expecting it but I felt so comfortable with him and so safe that I agreed but followed him in my own car. He did want to have sex but when I said not yet he respected me and dropped it and we just cuddled while watching a movie
I would not invite a woman to my house for the first date because I know she'd refuse. Inviting a girl to your house means it's you who has complete control over the environment be it; privacy, familiarity, logistics, etc. and makes you in a position to put pressure on her to compromise. At the end of the day it's all about sex and you're more likely to feel emboldened if you're both at your house, as compared to somewhere public.
Always meet someone you have never met irl in a public place with other people around. No matter how well you think you know them, you don't know them. Even after you have met someone irl it takes time to get to know them.
Maybe this guy is just immature, but it's not cool for him to invite you to his house on a first date. His intentions might be good, but then again they might not be. Don't find out. You did the right thing. Meet him in a public place or not at all.
Yes why not, if I dont have enough in my budget to go out to eat and I can do something for her at home, I would ask her if that was something she would be interested in, maybe a home dinner date, with an art class before hand do some painting, cook a meal together, and have a drink with here, and the end of the night get her a taxi home.
No because you woman are so judgmental. Few woman I dated and invited to my apartment they were judgmental over my apartment not being clean. Why do you woman care about clean so much in fact they wanted to used a near by store bathroom because they bitch about my bathroom which I see nothing wrong you woman are all like eww the toilet has pee when you can actually flush it yourself
I’ve done it and we ended up having sex. I wasn’t exactly trying to (not that it wasn’t on my mind) but having her over was super convenient lol. I would suggest that as a first date again but I would put up more boundaries lol.
So yeah he’s probably looking for sex on the first date lol.
During this pandemic why not , what else is there really to do , I would definitely talk to them on the phone first and video chat them before showing up first , make sure you feel comfortable with them before attempting to go over
Noo. I don’t want any “person” having my address unless I know they’re sane and trustworthy. The last thing I need is a crazy woman showing up at my door without warning.
Why would a guy give this type of invitation?
We talked for a couple weeks on a dating app. Haven't met.
He might just not be aware of the precautions women need to take. I'd never invite a stranger to my house. They don't know me and I don't know them. Even if we've been getting to know each other.
If I'm looking for a relationship, I shouldn't entertain him right? He once mentioned how he is looking for friends. He didn't mention relationship
Correct, but I would tell him, I wouldn't ghost him. Just say, "hey, I'm dating because I'm looking for a committed relationship and I don't have time to invest in new friendships at the moment. You made it clear to me you weren't looking for that, so I've decided that I won't be able to hang out with you or text you anymore." Any mature person will get that. If he tries to persuade you to anything otherwise, block him, don't dignify him with a response.
Ok I'll keep that in mind when he responds. I asked him what he is looking for
I always refuse this type of first dates. I don't feel uncomfortable going to someone's house and I don't even know them yet I'm always very suspicious of their intentions so I'd rather go to a restaurant or a bar maybe.
I meant *comfortable. Sorry for the typo.
No I would not. I do not know the girl at this point. Is she truly dating me or does she have ulterior motives? Is she crazy or not? Could she be planning a robbery? Bringing anyone (guy or girl) to your residence on a first date is too risky.
Hell no! That's just clueless. A woman who doesn't know me would have to be foolhardy to get in my car or meet me in any private space. A guy your age should know better. Either that or he has no money to pay for a date.
NEVER do this.
Doing that would be lame (no offense to the guys that do that) then again I never been on actual date before but I still wouldn’t invite a girl over to my house as a first date. If we kept going on dates, getting to know each other, she met my family/I met her family cause we introduced each other., etc then yeah I would
No.
A first date is always going out and going somewhere and having time to talk.
I would never would have asked a girl to my place as a first date.
Usually means sex. Stay grounded to your values and comfort. I normally would suggest a public place when this happens to me.
Not on a first date, unless I already knew her well. Even then, we would go out somewhere and do something fun, not hang around the house.
I wouldn't do it, since it is your first meeting you never know he might've wanted to rape you or something.
It just depends in the person, my preferred date is cuddling on the couch, and watching a movie. But if you've never met the person before, it's a good idea to have the first one in a public place, and if it ends at someone's house great.
Well, you going to his place is cheaper than going out. He would have to spend money then. Also, by you going to his place, it's easier to get you in bed. The first few dates should always be in public.
I would suggest you to not to go to his house on a first date if you're looking for something serious.
No i never do. I turned down a girl because she wanted to come home with me but I had to tell her no and that lasted up until 3am but that was the right decision on my part
i did yesterday i cooked her a Texas's meatloaf and played rummy 500 had some wine coolers then i took her home had a great time it's a way to talk communicate get to one another true gentleman
That’s a rookie move unless it’s been established as friends with benefits. You gotta take a girl out to a movie, or McDonald’s, and then get a drink, and then if everything goes right she’ll be down to hook up.
Only if I knew her for a long time.
But otherwise no.
Even if she was open to the idea of sex too much could go wrong on the first date.
Plus, guys need to protect themselves from false rape accusations.
Me and my now girlfriend of 4 months our first date was a movie and ligit cuddles in my room. She didn't want sex and I didn't press. Next time she saw me she really wanted me and we have been inseparable ever sense.
Did you invite her to your house knowing there was a possibility of having sex?
I may do it during the pandemic when a lot of restaurants and pubs are closed, but normally it would be out somewhere.
Lol 😆 that's usually their first option. Unless he is actually a good guy then he would opt for a date outside the home
No, I would not.
Any woman who accepted such an invitation would be a fool.
Any male who made such an invitation would be a fool, at a minimum.
Some guys move too fast. He could also be totally ignorant of proper etiquette.
Yes. This is a pretty common idea if you already know the other person and want to get down to business.
in my opinion... I think he thought he thought.. maybe he could have sex the first night.. why else would he invite you to his place... good on you to stand up
Yes, I would, and I have always. Met my wife this way. Some people just don't like going outside, so no, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to date-rape you, or even sleep woth you.
I would never. It's not polite... and suspicious )
who knows, what kind of maniac the man is. What if he is culinary pervert - he will tie you up, then cook some strange food and will push you to eat all )))
NOPE. Nope nope nope first dates are always somewhere public
I do a lot of online hook ups, but I prefer going to the girl's place. That way I can bone her, leave, and ghost her if I choose. She then has no way to contact me. You can't do that if she knows your real name and address.
Noooo. Dont go to his house since you dont know him much. How do you if he is not going to rape you or so on
If it’s first date if we met before I might of invited her over to my place or go hers. If we met over the internet like tinder or whatever it be at Starbucks or some place similar.
Yes, it's where I mainly WANT a first date. That or her house.
Then again, I only go on first dates after having been known each other/talking for 4 months or more.
Hell no. My home is my sanctuary. It's my safe space. I never invite anyone I don't know over to my house.
I have been invited to have this as a first date, I refused because I just wouldn't feel safe.
How did your connection with the guy go?
That might sound a bit suggestive, especially coming from the guy. If she asked me if she could visit my place, than I would agree. Big difference.
No... almost every girl would assume I just want sex. (I mean I do but I have self-control too and I want more than just sex)
I would only do that if I was into wanting to have a one night stand, or the girl gave off that vibe.
Not a girl I met online. A girl I already knew possibly. Depends on if I already know she's comfortable with me.
I don't care about going out. I'd rather have an intimate setting where we don't have to dress up or be around other people, I can cook food to my liking, it's great.
Booty call yes, date no. Just not appropriate. It's not a date at his place. He's only looking for sex.
No. Houses are for relaxation. As an extroverted person, i get the energy i need to entertain her from an energetic environment.
No. Then they will know where you live and if they're a bad person they know where you live
No I wouldn’t I would not let a girl into my house unless I trust her because unfortunately I had a girl steal some of my stuff the last time 😂
Are you 18?
Yup 👍🏼
Depends if it’s someone you’ve previously dated or not. As a general rule going to someone’s house on the first date is not a good idea
Thanks. Why do you think a guy would do this?
Maybe he wants / plans to have sex with you 🤷🏻♂️
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