What do you do after a bad date?

Question

Do you usually ghost them or tell them straight that you are not interested?

Me personally - I can’t hurt people’s feelings so I rather disappear than hurt someone. I’d feel so guilty if I knew I was a reason someone started feeling bad because of me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

First time on a date with a girl that ended up being a girlfriend, we argued. It was an ok date, but I figured that especially since we argued (I was right that time, which was nice), and she wasn't super talkative... I felt like I embarrassed myself later on (not being a jerk, or getting drunk or anything), so I figured there was no interest. I ghosted, though not intentionally - it was around the holidays and I got swamped.

Of course, it took a friend telling me she was interested to give it another go.

If a date goes badly, like she's really rude/entitled or we have a blow out fight or something, I'm probably just figuring it's obvious enough that I don't have to call her to let her know there's no plan for a second date... but if a date just goes badly because of circumstances beyond control, or it's minor stuff - I'm usually willing to give it a second chance.

I think she would have to ask why, in many cases, for me to "offer" an answer like "you were a jerk to the staff!" or "You were over half an hour late with no call" - though in many cases, she'd probably know I wasn't a fan ON THE DATE - I'd be polite, but a bit vocal about it not sitting well right away. If it went THAT badly, I'm probably not going to say anything about "So I'll call you..."

etexbearkat · Accepted Answer

Ghosting is never a good idea. I’ve had it happen to me on several occasions on dating sites. It’s painful, especially if you thought there a possibility of some sort of relationship with the other person. One time this woman had liked my profile and I liked hers back, and we start messaging each other that night. I was highly interested in her. I asked her question that night, and she didn’t respond, then I asked another question, and she didn’t respond to that one, either. I was very hurt. Not only did she ghost me, she kept viewing my profile for some time after doing so, which was leading me to believe she was still interested.

amber8894 · Accepted Answer

After a bad first date, I would let the guy know when he reaches out to me the next following day (s), I usually don’t text them until they do and I let them know.
If I have seen someone for several dates and the guy is disrespectful I just ghost and I don’t feel any regret about it since the guy crossed the line ( being physical, violent etc)
I have been ghosted when I was 16 and I didn’t even understand it until late in my 20s LOL. I just thought the guy had an issue with his phone and his internet.
But yes if now a guy I liked would ghost me, I think I would be hurt, but I don’t really expect a lot from people so I would just move on telling me something better is waiting for me

amadimal · Accepted Answer

I love being direct. However, I found semi-ghosting to be safer, and I'm gonna explain my point of view. Some men don't handle rejection well or they don't understand they shouldn't insist once you tell them you are not interested, so they become very pushy and bothering. Because I had this type of issues in the past, now I do the semi-ghosting thing if I feel there's something wrong with the guy. And by semi-ghosting I mean I tell them I am very busy/something happened at work and I won't have time for going out in the near future/I have family problems I have to attend to.

Apope16 · Answer

I straight up tell them the truth. Ghosting is absolutely not okay and rude. I had 2 women ghost me recently this week.

I text them the next day and typically say something like, "Hey it was nice to meet you! I liked ___this about you. But I don't really feel a spark when I am with you. That is what I am looking for. I wish you the best! You seem like a cool person."

OlderAndWiser · Answer

"I'd rather just save my feelings, ghost them, and deceive myself into thinking that they weren't hurt, rather than being honest because I just couldn't STAND it if it made me feel uncomfortable."

mamasan · Answer

I don't understand how anyone can think ghosting someone is sparing their feelings. Being ghosted sucks. It hurts, it's confusing, and it's not okay.

The real reason ghosters ghost is not to spare the other person's feelings. It's to make it easier on themselves. They're too immature and inconsiderate to talk to someone like a human being. My opinion? If you're not mature enough to have an adult conversation, you're not mature enough to be dating.

red324 · Answer

Are we talking about first dates or any date? If I'm not feeling it I'm not going to go out of my way to tell them, but they are more than welcome to contact me on their own and I'll give them an explanation of some sort.

I also feel that a person has a right to ask why and what went wrong if they do get an explanation. To a point. I mean if they won't let it go and keep asking for more info that's different, but you have to understand some people have to ask why so they can at least have a good answer to move on.

scott04sa22 · Answer

I been always in bad hooks and bad disappointments and they always gives me excuses NOT to date me. Even if I only ask for only one single date with no one night stands or no sex. The answer is still no.

This is the excuses i always get from them

Girl 1: i only date black guys 👨🏿‍🦲

Girl 2: i only date Hot Latinos men 👨🏽

Girl 3: I Only date Star Wars nerds

Girl 4: I only date Star Trek nerd

then each girl is etc and etc with flat out rejects.

Also I’m undateable 🤷🏻‍♂️Because I don’t drive at all and I’m unable too for life.

Hope this helps

The_Maphio · Answer

Oddly enough, the usual choice that is made to "not hurt people feeling" are actually the ones that do so the most. Knowing that there's no cigar after a date allows one to prepare all over again for the hunting grounds instead of having to imagine, guess and ultimately not knowing what the hell is up.

kannettava · Answer

I've only had one bad date where I didn't want to see the person again and I was real about it, even though it was really difficult for me. I find it hard to express my feelings, especially negative ones. Not to mention to someone I don't even know that well, it was a nightmare. But I got through it and probably so did he.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

You can't hurt other people's feelings, so you choose to do the most hurtfull and disrespectfull thing possible in that scenario. That's dine for you if you choose to be that kind of person, just stop saying that it's to soare others' emotions when it's so obvious you care about yourself and norhing else.

AdithyaR · Answer

I'd straight up tell them. It won't be either of our faults, we just aren't incompatible (unless she was rude or toxic etc).

Honestly ghosting would hurt more cause it means the person didn't even respect ypu enough to spare a couple minutes to just tell you they're not interested. You're just left wondering why.

MahdiA · Answer

Please never ghost. A guy likes to know how you’re feeling, if you feel like it won’t work between you two then just tell him! I would like to know what you’re thinking instead of her just ghosting. If you just ghost him, it will leave him thinking that he did something wrong and that’s the reason you left.

Anonymous · Answer

I text them I am not interested if they contact me again. Sometimes it is mutual and neither of us contact each other after the date.

You are being naïve about people not getting hurt from being ignored and ghosted. To some it hurts even more because it is disrespectful. But maybe you are lucky that they anyway did not want a second date with you.

nella965 · Answer

you're hurting them more by ghosting them and saying nothing. Ghosting is the lowest of the low, what cowards do. It is to protect yourself from a difficult situation, you are not protecting their feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

If it was bad both ways and I could tell she wasn't into me either, I'd end the date on a positive note, no need to be rude, and we just wouldn't text each other.

If she seems to like me a little bit I'll make it known so that she can move on. Very often this results in her slinging a few insults my way but whatever.

hsshannah96 · Answer

I be real. Ghosting hurts badly!!! I have been ghosted a number of occasions  hurts worse than being told the truth! and frankly, it expresses that the ghoster is selfish and immature

ZackBan · Answer

I do a bit of both.
I don't ghost but don't flat out say it either instead I slowly drift away by turning down date suggestions until they figure out it's not gonna work. If they persist then flat out tell them.

Paolaa988 · Answer

Id tell them nicely that it was cool getting to know them and seeing where this goes but sorry I dont have any romantic feelings or attraction. I've been ghosted before and it's awful..

AzzaBlue · Answer

I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. People don't ghost to spare someone else's feelings. People ghost to spare themselves of having to tell the awkward truth. In other words, ghosters are cowards.

Siren777 · Answer

Tell them that I enjoyed the date but it's not going to work. Just be upfront & honest instead of lead the person on.

YSIV-LIT · Answer

I see your reasoning about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings but what people (especially women) don't know is is that ghosting someone hurts more than actually telling someone the truth. I've been ghosted before and I have akso ghosted someone and ai am not proud of it. If you didn't like the date just say that. Give that person he/she that same respect you would want if the roles were reversed.

Anonymous · Answer

You realize that ghosting is much more hurtful to some than if you were honest right? It's pretty selfish (ie it's uncomfortable for you more than you're worried about their feelings). Not to mention childish and disrespectful. Just sayin' lol

jgokgotit · Answer

I will tell her that I do not think we are a good fit. If I have a specific reason (or reasons) I will tell her. If it is just a bad feeling then I'll tell her that I just simply do not like her.

spartan55 · Answer

What people don't get is that they aren't sparing someone's feelings by ghosting them. Most of the time it actually makes things worse.

MCheetah · Answer

Be real if they ask; ghost them if they never talk to me afterwards, first.

Biancam13 · Answer

Just say, sorry I don’t feel any connection. Good luck

Anonymous · Answer

tons of people have ghosted me. honestly it would hurt less if they'd just be straight up and not drag it along. they can go burn in hell for all i care lol

Darcia · Answer

I normally like to spend time doing activities that have my mind focus on other things so I don’t have to worry about what happened.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Being real and realistic is part of me, it’s the only thing I can be or do, do option B bizarrely not had many bad dates.

exitseven · Answer

If I went out with somebody and I didn't think it was going anywhere I used to just stop calling her. I think they all felt the same way because I never used to hear from them either.

bowenw · Answer

If the other person is pressuring me to go on another date I would politely tell them I'm not interested. If the other person has not contacted me, I'd follow their lead and not say anything.

Minahh · Answer

Being real is how I roll. I'm pretty straightforward. I absolutely hate when people just disappear. That's rude. Like what are we 5 year olds at playground or grown ass adults?

Elliegirl · Answer

I would be honest and tell him I’m not feeling it and interested in seeing him again.

karaspara · Answer

I tell them that there a nice person but I don’t feel like there’s any chemistry I would only ghost them if they’re rude and obnoxious

HugoThe2nd · Answer

You hurt someone way more by disappearing. You are just a coward, you don't feel guilt at all.

Wiredone · Answer

Honesty is always better. How would you react if you were in the other person's shoes? Just tell them I really didn't feel a connection, I don't think it'll work out between us.

Anonymous · Answer

Leaving someone wondering what they did wrong, to fester in their thoughts of why they’re not good enough actually does hurt people, shocker right?

Drumlin2001 · Answer

I'd just tell them it's not going to work and wish them the best.

Anonymous · Answer

I take  a deep fat shit in front of the door or jam up your locks fuck these $5 holes next time come correct!

Pogi-Paddy-2 · Answer

I'd be straight up with the person because I feel that GHOSTING someone is absolutely rude and disrespectful.☯️

RingOfFire · Answer

I don't tell them "I don't like you." I just tell them I don't feel we are a good match but enjoyed the date and wish them well.

scooogy · Answer

Sing along with Daniel Powter's "Bad day" as "bad date" 😂

Anonymous · Answer

I usually just ghost them, but if they keep texting me afterwards I just tell them that I had a great time but I just don't see things working out.

pigoat · Answer

Fuck feelings i tell them date sucked and don't wanna go with them again Coward

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

If you're nature, you'll tell them that it's not gonna work.

K-I-S-S · Answer

Haven't had any bad dates. But would not feel right to just ghost somebody.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Okay, but you DO hurt their feelings when you ghost them. So, nice try. But #fail.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Telling it straight to their face cause its harder to deal with someone ghosting cause you don't know what happened to them.

OddBeMe · Answer

Depends on what made it bad. Sometimes “mistakes” can be the funny shit you laugh about years later with your SO.

little_rose · Answer

I don't like hurting feelings but I always tell them the truth. I try to not hurt them

blondfrog · Answer

Go home and play video games also probably drink a Gatorade

John_Doesnt · Answer

I find a new date. If they call me I tell them straight up it was a bad date.

Darkchild25 · Answer

Well, if they dont message me ill leave it. If they do I'll tell them i didn't feel it was for me

standardguy · Answer

Ghosting does hurt mu h more the feelings because it shows that the hosting partner feels that indifferent that he/she has no problem to ignore me

Shy_Steve · Answer

A lot of us Guys would Ghost her because we don't want to hurt her feelings or make it awkward so we would just try to avoid it.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

DO NOT GHOST I feel led on, if I'm being ghosted, so don't ghost people I haven't been on a date in a long time, for a couple reasons

Ragnarocckk · Answer

same... let them understand in a sublime way that I didn't like it through if it is a bad date sometimes it is just obvious there is not point of going further

Dsg1193 · Answer

Keep swiping until I can get another potential prospect again

Wise4myage · Answer

Ghosting is for immature people, so just tell them the truth but don't be mean about it.

Jack9949 · Answer

Ghosting is the worst thing you can do. Just wish them luck and say you didn’t feel a connection.

Iron_Man · Answer

Nothing it fades away or wrap it up those are mostly from dating sites

james_d0007 · Answer

Better to be honest and straightforward Makes it easy for opposite person to move on!

What do you do after a bad date?

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